“You have to promise me something first.”
“What?”
“Stop taking your anger out on the guys and making sudden changes.”
Guilt sunk low in my gut.
“You can go wherever you want, just tell the guys first. They’re good at their jobs, but sometimes they can’t adapt fast enough. Please, Emma.”
“I will.”
“Good. How was your week?”
“It sucked.”
He chuckled again. “I’m guessing it’s not just because of last week?”
“What?”
“Friday night, Emma.”
“Oh!” My eyes widened. I’d forgotten about the attack. How could I have forgotten? “That slipped my mind. I can’t believe that…”
“Look,” his voice dropped to an intimate tone. “I can’t talk about a lot of things over the phone, but I’m making things happen. I’m making sure you’re safe and someday you might not need all those guys around you. I’m trying, Emma. I’m doing my damnedest right now to fix it so you’re going to be okay.”
“But my roommate,” I whispered back.
He sighed into the phone. “I can’t make any promises about her. I’m trying, but you’re my first priority, Emma. I promise you, this will all be over soon.”
I clenched the phone tighter. “You promise?”
“I do. I can promise that.”
I nodded and felt a tear fall onto the pillow. “Okay.”
“Are you okay?” Concern filtered into his voice now. “Are you eating?”
“I got scared.” The admission slipped me before I knew what I was going to say.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I should’ve been there.”
“No, you said that you have things to do. You have to work. You—” are doing something to make sure that I’m safe. Even as I thought that, shame tore through me. He was right. I was angry that he left and that he stayed away for so long. I was angry that he hadn’t called or texted. I was angry that he wasn’t beside me, but Carter wasn’t normal. This wasn’t a normal relationship—and then I bolted upright in bed.
Carter and I were in a relationship.
The last time I’d been in a relationship—I squeezed my eyes shut. The guy had cheated on me, robbed me, and turned all of my friends against me. It was another reason why I was only friends with Mallory and Amanda. The few friends I had in college were snooty and disloyal. Mallory and Amanda seemed safe when I met each of them.
AJ and Carter had been my first family. The few friends I had in college could never be considered as family, but that changed once I met Mallory after I graduated. She became my family, and then Amanda was included. Ben got added because he never left Mallory’s side for years. But now those three were gone and Carter had come back.
As I sat there, struggling to breathe, tears flowed down my face. Everyone left.
“Emma?”
I became aware of his voice. The phone had fallen into the covers and I grabbed it. “Sorry.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Emma.”
“I am,” I rushed out. “When are you coming back?”
“I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
“Good.” I took a deep breath. “That’s good.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m good.” And I was, as long as I heard his voice, felt his voice, had him in my life—I was good, but it wasn’t going to last. Nothing good lasted for me. He was going to go away. I just didn’t know when or how it would happen.
“Okay…” He wasn’t convinced.
I counted to ten, hoping he’d let it go. I couldn’t spill any of the thoughts that were racing in my mind. They were too much.
“So what’s this I hear that you’re cooking for the guys now?”
My shoulders sagged. He had let it go. “Yeah, I felt bad. I’m going to cook for the whole group this weekend.”
He chuckled, “I’m sure they’ll love it, no matter what you cook.”
I slid back under my covers. We talked for another hour, the longest conversation I ever had over the phone. I could’ve continued for another hour, but I told him to go to sleep after I heard his exhaustion. He sighed into the phone, “It’s good to hear your voice, Emma. I’ve missed you too.”
I couldn’t hold back a grin. “Good night, Carter.”
“Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then I heard the dial tone and laid the phone next to me. I slept with it beside me.
When he put his phone away, his associate glanced up from the parallel seat. He asked, “Is she alright?”
“She feels frustrated and trapped. She doesn’t know what’s going on and it’s making her angry.”
The older man frowned. “She told you all that?”
“She doesn’t know she feels all of that.”
“But you do?”
Carter threw his comrade a grin. “I always do. I know things about you too. Would you like me to enlighten you?”
He started to open his mouth again, but Gene groaned, “Please don’t.” He paused for a second. “Are you going to tell her what’s going on?”
“Not yet. I want to wait.”
The older man lifted his phone. “I got off the phone with Christian.”
Carter waited, more alert and quiet, if that was possible. When his comrade hesitated, he lifted an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to guess? Is this when you’re going to question my intuitive senses?”
“Shut up.” A grin slipped from the other man. He shook his head. Carter reminded him of his son. It was why he vouched for him when Farve brought him into the family. Carter never knew that and he didn’t want him to know, although it was a fair assumption that Carter probably did. He treated him differently, but then again, Carter Reed had demanded different treatment than the others. He’d always been better than the rest. He had proved that again with the feat he pulled off.
“Gene,” Carter prompted.
“They’re deliberating right now. We’ll know the decision by tomorrow.” He eyed the younger man. He seemed as unfazed and cold as always. “You’re not worried?”
“What?”
“Stop taking your anger out on the guys and making sudden changes.”
Guilt sunk low in my gut.
“You can go wherever you want, just tell the guys first. They’re good at their jobs, but sometimes they can’t adapt fast enough. Please, Emma.”
“I will.”
“Good. How was your week?”
“It sucked.”
He chuckled again. “I’m guessing it’s not just because of last week?”
“What?”
“Friday night, Emma.”
“Oh!” My eyes widened. I’d forgotten about the attack. How could I have forgotten? “That slipped my mind. I can’t believe that…”
“Look,” his voice dropped to an intimate tone. “I can’t talk about a lot of things over the phone, but I’m making things happen. I’m making sure you’re safe and someday you might not need all those guys around you. I’m trying, Emma. I’m doing my damnedest right now to fix it so you’re going to be okay.”
“But my roommate,” I whispered back.
He sighed into the phone. “I can’t make any promises about her. I’m trying, but you’re my first priority, Emma. I promise you, this will all be over soon.”
I clenched the phone tighter. “You promise?”
“I do. I can promise that.”
I nodded and felt a tear fall onto the pillow. “Okay.”
“Are you okay?” Concern filtered into his voice now. “Are you eating?”
“I got scared.” The admission slipped me before I knew what I was going to say.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I should’ve been there.”
“No, you said that you have things to do. You have to work. You—” are doing something to make sure that I’m safe. Even as I thought that, shame tore through me. He was right. I was angry that he left and that he stayed away for so long. I was angry that he hadn’t called or texted. I was angry that he wasn’t beside me, but Carter wasn’t normal. This wasn’t a normal relationship—and then I bolted upright in bed.
Carter and I were in a relationship.
The last time I’d been in a relationship—I squeezed my eyes shut. The guy had cheated on me, robbed me, and turned all of my friends against me. It was another reason why I was only friends with Mallory and Amanda. The few friends I had in college were snooty and disloyal. Mallory and Amanda seemed safe when I met each of them.
AJ and Carter had been my first family. The few friends I had in college could never be considered as family, but that changed once I met Mallory after I graduated. She became my family, and then Amanda was included. Ben got added because he never left Mallory’s side for years. But now those three were gone and Carter had come back.
As I sat there, struggling to breathe, tears flowed down my face. Everyone left.
“Emma?”
I became aware of his voice. The phone had fallen into the covers and I grabbed it. “Sorry.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Emma.”
“I am,” I rushed out. “When are you coming back?”
“I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
“Good.” I took a deep breath. “That’s good.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m good.” And I was, as long as I heard his voice, felt his voice, had him in my life—I was good, but it wasn’t going to last. Nothing good lasted for me. He was going to go away. I just didn’t know when or how it would happen.
“Okay…” He wasn’t convinced.
I counted to ten, hoping he’d let it go. I couldn’t spill any of the thoughts that were racing in my mind. They were too much.
“So what’s this I hear that you’re cooking for the guys now?”
My shoulders sagged. He had let it go. “Yeah, I felt bad. I’m going to cook for the whole group this weekend.”
He chuckled, “I’m sure they’ll love it, no matter what you cook.”
I slid back under my covers. We talked for another hour, the longest conversation I ever had over the phone. I could’ve continued for another hour, but I told him to go to sleep after I heard his exhaustion. He sighed into the phone, “It’s good to hear your voice, Emma. I’ve missed you too.”
I couldn’t hold back a grin. “Good night, Carter.”
“Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then I heard the dial tone and laid the phone next to me. I slept with it beside me.
When he put his phone away, his associate glanced up from the parallel seat. He asked, “Is she alright?”
“She feels frustrated and trapped. She doesn’t know what’s going on and it’s making her angry.”
The older man frowned. “She told you all that?”
“She doesn’t know she feels all of that.”
“But you do?”
Carter threw his comrade a grin. “I always do. I know things about you too. Would you like me to enlighten you?”
He started to open his mouth again, but Gene groaned, “Please don’t.” He paused for a second. “Are you going to tell her what’s going on?”
“Not yet. I want to wait.”
The older man lifted his phone. “I got off the phone with Christian.”
Carter waited, more alert and quiet, if that was possible. When his comrade hesitated, he lifted an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to guess? Is this when you’re going to question my intuitive senses?”
“Shut up.” A grin slipped from the other man. He shook his head. Carter reminded him of his son. It was why he vouched for him when Farve brought him into the family. Carter never knew that and he didn’t want him to know, although it was a fair assumption that Carter probably did. He treated him differently, but then again, Carter Reed had demanded different treatment than the others. He’d always been better than the rest. He had proved that again with the feat he pulled off.
“Gene,” Carter prompted.
“They’re deliberating right now. We’ll know the decision by tomorrow.” He eyed the younger man. He seemed as unfazed and cold as always. “You’re not worried?”
