Cat's Lair
Page 51

Eli groaned softly. He stroked a caress down her hair. “Kitten. Really.”
She blushed for no reason. “You’ve given me more instruction and experience in twenty-four hours than I read in all three books or heard about in a very graphic and rather drunken conversation.”
“I want sex to be good for you. Every time. Whether it’s rough or gentle or I’m making you beg, I want it always to be off the charts for you. I’ll teach you the things you need to know and if you have questions, just ask. If there’s something you don’t like, tell me. We’ll talk it through. If there’s something you want, you tell me and it’s yours.”
She pressed her lips together. She had made up her mind a long time ago that she would be as honest as possible. She was good at deception – at least she thought she was – but she didn’t like it. She wanted to be the kind of person who dealt with something and then it was over. And she wanted honesty. Still, Eli was very blunt when it came to sex. She didn’t like that she didn’t know very much. She didn’t even know if it was good for him.
“What is it, baby?” he asked gently, his hand curling around the nape of her neck, his fingers moving into the muscles there. “One of the things I admire most about you is the way you just ask me questions or answer when I ask you. Don’t be embarrassed. You don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me.”
She took a deep breath. “You say that it isn’t just my leopard making me so crazy when it comes to sex. I can’t stop. I can’t control myself when it happens. I don’t understand that. I’ve never been like that in my life. I’ve never even wanted another man, but with you, I have to have my hands and my mouth on you. I can’t wait for you to touch me. It doesn’t make sense because I still don’t even know if I like you. I don’t trust you. If it’s me and not just her, why didn’t I know this about myself before?”
“Cat, you can tell that I’m experienced. I know women and I know what they like or need. In case you haven’t been paying attention, I like control. I like my world the way I want it. I need sex often and a certain way. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you’d be compatible with me. Even my leopard recognized it and that was before your female made an appearance. If you weren’t capable of matching me in bed, of being what I need you to be, I never would have touched you.”
She frowned, trying to deny to herself that she liked sex with him. That was insanity. She loved sex with him. She liked the way he took command. She liked how rough he could be and how absolutely caring he was afterward. Mostly she loved how he could make her body go up in flames. She hadn’t known it could be like that.
Catarina bit down on her lip. There was something to what he was saying. She couldn’t hide from the fact that even now, and she didn’t feel her leopard close, erotic images played through her mind.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Eli,” she admitted. “You do make it good for me, but I don’t want sex to be all about me. I need to know that it’s good for you too.”
She was so confused. She didn’t even know why she cared whether the sex was good for him too. She was just using him, right? She didn’t have a clue what she was doing or even why, but his answer mattered to her.
There was silence. Her heart pounded.
“Cat. Look at me. Right now. Look at me.”
She could barely make herself turn her head to him. Her face was red, but it was the truth. She wanted to make him feel the same things she felt.
He caught her face in his hands, his thumbs sliding over her jaw. “I’m not a man who would ever pretend even if I could. If you don’t know anything else about me, you have to know that. You please me, baby. You more than please me.”
Her eyes slid away from his. He growled low in his throat. “Kitten. I said look at me – that means your eyes are looking right into mine when we’re talking about this.”
Catarina sighed, but forced herself to look him in the eye again. “It’s just a little embarrassing, Eli. I don’t know what I’m doing, you have to tell me everything.”
“Sweetheart, I love coaching you. I love that no man has been inside you and you’re all mine. I love that I can teach you the things that please me and you’re so willing to learn. That matters to me, that you want to please me.”
“Don’t get too used to it,” she advised. “I want to kick you more often than I want to please you.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “I intimidate everyone, especially women. Where the hell have I gone wrong with you?”
“You intimidate me,” she admitted. “But that only makes me want to kick you all the harder.”
He stretched his legs out in front of him and looked out over the slightly rolling land. “I fell in love with this place the first time I saw it,” he said. “But it never felt right. It never felt like home. Not until you walked through the door.”
Catarina didn’t like the way her heart melted at his statement. The sex was bad enough, but it was just sex. She could handle just sex with no emotion attached to it. She didn’t want to like him so much and the way he talked to her, the things he said, even the way he looked at her, made her feel special.
“I think I was handcuffed and maybe carried,” she pointed out.
“Yeah. Like I said, felt like I was coming home for the first time.”