Cat's Lair
Page 94
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“You get me, Eli?” Jake said softly. “She has to know she’s your world if you’re going to be you. You have to allow her to see all of you, even the worst parts. She has to accept and love those parts too. Then it’s her choice. She stays because she loves you no matter what.”
“You have no idea how fucked up I can get, Jake,” Eli said. “She’s already experienced some of it.”
Jake shrugged. “We’re shifters. That isn’t an excuse to treat our women rough, or get away with crap, because we’re in control of our leopards, and that means being in control of us. But we’re going to screw up. Catarina’s strong or she never would have survived Cordeau’s household. She can take you on and tame the wild when it comes. Let her. Give her that. I’m talking from experience. I’m no picnic, and Emma, well…” He trailed off, and looked toward the kitchen where another burst of laughter warmed both of them.
“Emma loves me the way I am. She knows what I need and she’s willing to give it to me. In return I give her every damn thing I can think of that might make her happy.” He hesitated. “Including that baby she’s carrying. I didn’t want her to risk it. She nearly died that last time and I was done. We’ve got two, Kyle, who is about to turn four, and Andraya, who is eight months younger.” He gave no explanation how the children could be so close in age. “We love them, and as far as I’m concerned we were complete. She wants a couple more. Took me a long time to let myself realize it mattered to her. So I gave in, but I don’t like it.”
“The idea of more children, or Emma at risk?” Eli watched him closely. He wanted children. A lot of them. He’d always wanted a family, and he wanted that family with Catarina. It hadn’t really occurred to him that a man might lose his wife in childbirth. Clearly Jake had faced that nightmare already with Emma.
“I love the idea of more children, but I wanted to use a surrogate. Emma wanted to carry them herself. Emma won, but I don’t sleep so good at night right now. Sometimes I just lay there next to her and listen to her breathe.” While Jake spoke, he was looking through the sliding glass door to his woman.
There was raw, naked love there for the world to see. Eli wondered if he got that same expression on his face when he looked at Catarina. He certainly felt it. He felt stripped bare, his soul exposed, naked and vulnerable and it wasn’t a comfortable state of mind for a man like him. He realized that was when he felt the most aggressive. The most dominant toward Catarina.
Already he didn’t like being too far from her, but he enjoyed watching as she bent to check something in the oven and the two women immediately went into a discussion about how the moisture from the mushroom roast flavored the potatoes as they were grilling in the natural juices. It was all Greek to him, but he loved the way Catarina’s voice was soft and excited and happy.
Andraya, Jake’s little girl, came running into the kitchen, clutching a little stuffed leopard. Both women immediately turned toward her, Catarina automatically closing the oven door and blocking it with her body as she crouched down to be face-to-face with the child. Eli found himself smiling. She didn’t think she was good with children, but she’d instinctively protected the child and crouched low to greet her. Yeah, his woman was going to be great with their children.
“Drake told me that the shifters in the rain forest talk to their girls about their leopards and how it all works. They don’t want them to be afraid, and they don’t hide the men shifting from them. We’ve decided to do the same with our children. Andraya has already seen both of us shift and she shows no fear when either of our leopards enter a room with her. She knows not to ever talk about it with anyone else. So does Kyle.”
“I think I have to agree with you on that,” Eli said. “Not knowing what was going to happen to her and thinking her leopard would be a killer like Cordeau’s made Cat fearful.” He took another drink of his beer, still watching Catarina smiling and accepting the little stuffed leopard, her face animated as she conversed with the child. “She was so courageous. Made me proud of her.”
Jake laughed. “Eli, seriously. You didn’t have to tell me that. I can see it on your face. I know you think you need to thank me for the invite to dinner, but I owe you one. I’m watching Emma and she’s really happy. She needs a friend, especially now. I’m worried the doctor will put her on bed rest. She doesn’t like anyone else taking care of us. With your ranch right next to ours, the two of them can go back and forth and it will be especially good to have Catarina occupying her time.”
“Cat loves books. You have an entire library. I’ve ordered a number of books to surprise her along with a desk and laptop. Joshua and Trey are setting it up for me while we’re here,” Eli said, knowing Jake would know exactly what his crew was doing. Still, he liked the idea of saying it aloud – his secret surprise for Catarina. “She’ll love it, but when she sees your library, I figure I’ll be adding on to my house in a big way.”
Jake laughed. “I’ll make it clear she can use it anytime she’d like. Emma paints. She’s really good. The first time she did anything it was for my birthday present. She had the boys help her put together a studio in the barn and she painted there in secret. I was a bit of a jealous ass when I found out.” He grinned at the memory. “That woman of mine has a temper. She doesn’t let it fly often but when she does, she’s unpredictable.”
“You have no idea how fucked up I can get, Jake,” Eli said. “She’s already experienced some of it.”
Jake shrugged. “We’re shifters. That isn’t an excuse to treat our women rough, or get away with crap, because we’re in control of our leopards, and that means being in control of us. But we’re going to screw up. Catarina’s strong or she never would have survived Cordeau’s household. She can take you on and tame the wild when it comes. Let her. Give her that. I’m talking from experience. I’m no picnic, and Emma, well…” He trailed off, and looked toward the kitchen where another burst of laughter warmed both of them.
“Emma loves me the way I am. She knows what I need and she’s willing to give it to me. In return I give her every damn thing I can think of that might make her happy.” He hesitated. “Including that baby she’s carrying. I didn’t want her to risk it. She nearly died that last time and I was done. We’ve got two, Kyle, who is about to turn four, and Andraya, who is eight months younger.” He gave no explanation how the children could be so close in age. “We love them, and as far as I’m concerned we were complete. She wants a couple more. Took me a long time to let myself realize it mattered to her. So I gave in, but I don’t like it.”
“The idea of more children, or Emma at risk?” Eli watched him closely. He wanted children. A lot of them. He’d always wanted a family, and he wanted that family with Catarina. It hadn’t really occurred to him that a man might lose his wife in childbirth. Clearly Jake had faced that nightmare already with Emma.
“I love the idea of more children, but I wanted to use a surrogate. Emma wanted to carry them herself. Emma won, but I don’t sleep so good at night right now. Sometimes I just lay there next to her and listen to her breathe.” While Jake spoke, he was looking through the sliding glass door to his woman.
There was raw, naked love there for the world to see. Eli wondered if he got that same expression on his face when he looked at Catarina. He certainly felt it. He felt stripped bare, his soul exposed, naked and vulnerable and it wasn’t a comfortable state of mind for a man like him. He realized that was when he felt the most aggressive. The most dominant toward Catarina.
Already he didn’t like being too far from her, but he enjoyed watching as she bent to check something in the oven and the two women immediately went into a discussion about how the moisture from the mushroom roast flavored the potatoes as they were grilling in the natural juices. It was all Greek to him, but he loved the way Catarina’s voice was soft and excited and happy.
Andraya, Jake’s little girl, came running into the kitchen, clutching a little stuffed leopard. Both women immediately turned toward her, Catarina automatically closing the oven door and blocking it with her body as she crouched down to be face-to-face with the child. Eli found himself smiling. She didn’t think she was good with children, but she’d instinctively protected the child and crouched low to greet her. Yeah, his woman was going to be great with their children.
“Drake told me that the shifters in the rain forest talk to their girls about their leopards and how it all works. They don’t want them to be afraid, and they don’t hide the men shifting from them. We’ve decided to do the same with our children. Andraya has already seen both of us shift and she shows no fear when either of our leopards enter a room with her. She knows not to ever talk about it with anyone else. So does Kyle.”
“I think I have to agree with you on that,” Eli said. “Not knowing what was going to happen to her and thinking her leopard would be a killer like Cordeau’s made Cat fearful.” He took another drink of his beer, still watching Catarina smiling and accepting the little stuffed leopard, her face animated as she conversed with the child. “She was so courageous. Made me proud of her.”
Jake laughed. “Eli, seriously. You didn’t have to tell me that. I can see it on your face. I know you think you need to thank me for the invite to dinner, but I owe you one. I’m watching Emma and she’s really happy. She needs a friend, especially now. I’m worried the doctor will put her on bed rest. She doesn’t like anyone else taking care of us. With your ranch right next to ours, the two of them can go back and forth and it will be especially good to have Catarina occupying her time.”
“Cat loves books. You have an entire library. I’ve ordered a number of books to surprise her along with a desk and laptop. Joshua and Trey are setting it up for me while we’re here,” Eli said, knowing Jake would know exactly what his crew was doing. Still, he liked the idea of saying it aloud – his secret surprise for Catarina. “She’ll love it, but when she sees your library, I figure I’ll be adding on to my house in a big way.”
Jake laughed. “I’ll make it clear she can use it anytime she’d like. Emma paints. She’s really good. The first time she did anything it was for my birthday present. She had the boys help her put together a studio in the barn and she painted there in secret. I was a bit of a jealous ass when I found out.” He grinned at the memory. “That woman of mine has a temper. She doesn’t let it fly often but when she does, she’s unpredictable.”
