He should have been satisfied by her blush but he was too pissed off. “You think I should just service you while you look around for some man worthy of your forever, Liv? Is that what you’re saying? I’m good enough to f**k but not good enough to be with on Christmas?”
“What? Why are you being this way? You’re the one who has a flavor of the week on your arm. You’re the one who’s f**ked every damned woman under thirty in this town.”
“Thirty-five.” The moment he said it he regretted it.
Her eyes narrowed and she put her fork down. “As you say, thirty-four, thirty- five in a month. In any case, you’re the one who has the love em and leave em lifestyle. I’ve told you up front what I’m looking for. I haven’t lied about that.”
“Stop being so sensitive about your age. God. It’s not a thing. And I told you up front that I’m wooing you. I want you, Liv. Not for the next week or two, but for the long haul. But if you don’t think I’m good enough, you should go now.”
“I never said that and I don’t think that. Where do you get this good enough crap anyway? When did I say any such thing? I’m trying to be sensible. You’re the one who nearly passed out when I said I wanted to get married.”
“That was months ago and before I told you I wanted to woo you. Before I worked my ass off to show you I was not the same person I used to be. You’ve changed me, Liv. And I know I’ve changed you. Don’t you f**king lie to yourself or me. The sex between us was spectacular. It wasn’t like that with Matt or Brody or any of the other men you’ve burned through. It didn’t work with any of them because you’re meant to be with me.”
She stood up and he did as well. “Burned through? Are you insinuating I’m a slut? Because pot, meet kettle.”
“Oh ho! I never said any such thing. Burned through, as in you dated them and it didn’t work out, you moved on to the next guy, same story. And are you saying I’m a slut?”
She closed her eyes and it looked like she was counting to herself. Suddenly his anger drained away and he wanted to laugh. Fear. She was afraid of what they had together and was spitting like a cat in a corner. He could handle that. He would have her in the end. He just needed to wait her out.
“I need to go before I say something I can’t take back. I value your friendship more than I value the orgasms you can give me. Yes, it was amazing, but not worth losing you over.”
She slid on her shoes and grabbed her bag but he didn’t miss the way her voice trembled when she spoke about losing him.
“I’m not finished. Let’s talk this out.”
“I am. I’ll see you Monday.”
“For heaven’s sake, Liv. You’re not going to lose me! This is a dumb fight because neither one of us is being totally honest. I want you. In bed and in my life. You want that too. I know you do.”
He saw confusion war with fear in her features.
He softened his voice. “At least let me drive you home so you don’t have to do the walk of shame through town. We can talk about this again soon, when you’ve got your thoughts together.”
The rigidity in her spine eased and he knew he’d won at least a small amount. When he got her home, after they’d both ignored the heady scent of sex in his truck, he’d kissed her before she could scramble out the door. “I’m not going anywhere, Liv. Get it through your thick head. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes. My parents’ for dinner. Momma’s expecting you.”
“I never said I’d go!”
He chuckled. “This is Polly Chase. You never said you wouldn’t. When she told you she wanted to see you for dinner more often and you agreed, she took it that you were coming to dinner again tomorrow night.” He was so lying on his mother and he’d have to go deal with her right then. He knew though, that Polly would be on his side in this battle. Liv would fall and he’d be there to catch her. Liv sighed. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She got out of the truck and he watched her until she’d gotten safely inside before heading over to his parents’
house.
* * *
Liv slumped into her house and moved straight to her bathroom. Turning on the taps of her great big old antique tub, she took her clothes off, trying to ignore Marc’s scent but it was impossible. Because it was on her skin. Under her skin. In her hair and brain, on her tongue.
With a groan, she went to make herself a cup of coffee, turning off the taps when the bath had filled. Minutes later, she sank into the water and sipped her coffee. She did her best thinking in her bathtub.
He said he wanted her for the long term. But was it just the sex talking? They were friends so did he feel more hindered, less able to give her the truth about how he felt?
And the sex. Oh man, it was way more than just sex. He’d seared her soul deep. Her body had responded to his in a way that satisfied her but scared the hell out of her at the same time. So dominant and sure of himself sexually, the allure of that was overwhelming.
Giving up control to him had been the most liberating thing she’d ever done. If she’d done that with Brody would they still be together? What about Matt? Did the men in her life leave because she was too much in control?
“I think too much,” she mumbled as she put down her empty cup of coffee and slid beneath the surface of the water. The silence surrounded her as the water embraced her body. It was just her and her insecurities and fears. She sat up and wiped her eyes. Most people saw her as supremely confident and self assured but beneath that were the doubts. Maybe she wasn’t worthy of love. Maybe she wasn’t meant to be cherished. It was her, she was the reason they all left. What had she done to chase them away?
“What? Why are you being this way? You’re the one who has a flavor of the week on your arm. You’re the one who’s f**ked every damned woman under thirty in this town.”
“Thirty-five.” The moment he said it he regretted it.
Her eyes narrowed and she put her fork down. “As you say, thirty-four, thirty- five in a month. In any case, you’re the one who has the love em and leave em lifestyle. I’ve told you up front what I’m looking for. I haven’t lied about that.”
“Stop being so sensitive about your age. God. It’s not a thing. And I told you up front that I’m wooing you. I want you, Liv. Not for the next week or two, but for the long haul. But if you don’t think I’m good enough, you should go now.”
“I never said that and I don’t think that. Where do you get this good enough crap anyway? When did I say any such thing? I’m trying to be sensible. You’re the one who nearly passed out when I said I wanted to get married.”
“That was months ago and before I told you I wanted to woo you. Before I worked my ass off to show you I was not the same person I used to be. You’ve changed me, Liv. And I know I’ve changed you. Don’t you f**king lie to yourself or me. The sex between us was spectacular. It wasn’t like that with Matt or Brody or any of the other men you’ve burned through. It didn’t work with any of them because you’re meant to be with me.”
She stood up and he did as well. “Burned through? Are you insinuating I’m a slut? Because pot, meet kettle.”
“Oh ho! I never said any such thing. Burned through, as in you dated them and it didn’t work out, you moved on to the next guy, same story. And are you saying I’m a slut?”
She closed her eyes and it looked like she was counting to herself. Suddenly his anger drained away and he wanted to laugh. Fear. She was afraid of what they had together and was spitting like a cat in a corner. He could handle that. He would have her in the end. He just needed to wait her out.
“I need to go before I say something I can’t take back. I value your friendship more than I value the orgasms you can give me. Yes, it was amazing, but not worth losing you over.”
She slid on her shoes and grabbed her bag but he didn’t miss the way her voice trembled when she spoke about losing him.
“I’m not finished. Let’s talk this out.”
“I am. I’ll see you Monday.”
“For heaven’s sake, Liv. You’re not going to lose me! This is a dumb fight because neither one of us is being totally honest. I want you. In bed and in my life. You want that too. I know you do.”
He saw confusion war with fear in her features.
He softened his voice. “At least let me drive you home so you don’t have to do the walk of shame through town. We can talk about this again soon, when you’ve got your thoughts together.”
The rigidity in her spine eased and he knew he’d won at least a small amount. When he got her home, after they’d both ignored the heady scent of sex in his truck, he’d kissed her before she could scramble out the door. “I’m not going anywhere, Liv. Get it through your thick head. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes. My parents’ for dinner. Momma’s expecting you.”
“I never said I’d go!”
He chuckled. “This is Polly Chase. You never said you wouldn’t. When she told you she wanted to see you for dinner more often and you agreed, she took it that you were coming to dinner again tomorrow night.” He was so lying on his mother and he’d have to go deal with her right then. He knew though, that Polly would be on his side in this battle. Liv would fall and he’d be there to catch her. Liv sighed. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She got out of the truck and he watched her until she’d gotten safely inside before heading over to his parents’
house.
* * *
Liv slumped into her house and moved straight to her bathroom. Turning on the taps of her great big old antique tub, she took her clothes off, trying to ignore Marc’s scent but it was impossible. Because it was on her skin. Under her skin. In her hair and brain, on her tongue.
With a groan, she went to make herself a cup of coffee, turning off the taps when the bath had filled. Minutes later, she sank into the water and sipped her coffee. She did her best thinking in her bathtub.
He said he wanted her for the long term. But was it just the sex talking? They were friends so did he feel more hindered, less able to give her the truth about how he felt?
And the sex. Oh man, it was way more than just sex. He’d seared her soul deep. Her body had responded to his in a way that satisfied her but scared the hell out of her at the same time. So dominant and sure of himself sexually, the allure of that was overwhelming.
Giving up control to him had been the most liberating thing she’d ever done. If she’d done that with Brody would they still be together? What about Matt? Did the men in her life leave because she was too much in control?
“I think too much,” she mumbled as she put down her empty cup of coffee and slid beneath the surface of the water. The silence surrounded her as the water embraced her body. It was just her and her insecurities and fears. She sat up and wiped her eyes. Most people saw her as supremely confident and self assured but beneath that were the doubts. Maybe she wasn’t worthy of love. Maybe she wasn’t meant to be cherished. It was her, she was the reason they all left. What had she done to chase them away?
