“I figured you’d have a bunch of baby gear and would need help carrying it.”
“Tough guy. Total marshmallow in the center.” Maggie smiled and handed Nicholas to her along with his baby bag. “Take him on up with you, I’m going back to the car to get his porta-crib.”
“Come on you, you’re the best man I’ve taken to a hotel room ever.” Liv kissed his forehead and took him upstairs.
She’d changed a diaper and was singing him some Aretha Franklin when Maggie knocked on the door and moved to set up his crib.
“I’m going to nurse him down. Order me something good to eat and settle in. We have a lot to talk about and I’m staying over.”
“Bossy.”
“Damned right. Get to it, I’m hungry.”
Twenty minutes later, Nicholas was sleeping in the bedroom and the food arrived. Liv cracked open a beer and sat back, looking at Maggie. “So? Go on, tell me.”
“You tell me. What kind of stupid shit is this? Moving to Atlanta? Why? Over a stupid misunderstanding with your boyfriend? Even if he had cheated on you, which he didn’t, why would a woman like Liv Davis let anyone chase her out of her own damned town?”
“Because that woman can’t keep a damned man, Maggie. I don’t want to be her anymore. I don’t want to be there anymore. I’m making a clean break and starting over here. A new city and a new outlook. I’ll find the right man here and I won’t have to see Marc Chase’s face ever again.”
“He loves you, damn it. What you saw was Nancy acting a fool. I talked with the stupid cow a few days ago. She faked a problem with her machine and when he leaned in to help her she grabbed him with her legs. He’d just pushed away from her when you walked in. He was ready to rip a hank off her hide. He’s sorry you’re hurt. He knows it looked bad but it only looked bad. Honey, he loves you. He’s been miserable since you’ve been gone.”
“Oh boo hoo. What about me, huh? I couldn’t even go to my best friend without her calling Marc. I couldn’t talk to my other best friend because she’s married to that fink’s other brother. My best guy friend is his other damned brother. And I’m in a hotel an hour and a half away and my other two friends finked me out as well. Why does Marc get all the consideration here?”
“I’m sorry! Liv, honey, I am truly sorry I hurt you. I just wanted to help. I know he loves you. I know you love him. I didn’t mean to drive you away.” Maggie took her hand and squeezed it. “Of all the people in my life, you’ve been there for me the longest. When no one else loved me, you did. When no one else cared about how I was feeling or how I did on an exam, you did. When no one else remembered my birthday, you did. It breaks my heart that you feel you can’t count on me. Please forgive me. Honestly, I can’t bear it that you feel you can’t trust me.”
Liv sighed. “I understand why you did it. I just needed to be alone. I needed to think.”
“Well you haven’t been thinking at all if you think moving away is a logical way to deal with this. Do you think Marc is just going to let you walk away? Liv, haven’t you heard anything I’ve said about that night?”
“I have. I heard it from him too via voicemails.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it and wondering if I believed him but really I suppose the problem is that I have to think about it to begin with.”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean if I really trusted him and if he was truly trustworthy, would I have had to think on it for a week? Would I doubt him at all?”
“Liv, you know, I can’t do this for you. I can tell you my opinion, which is that Marc is telling the truth. That he loves you. That he’s worth trusting. I can also tell you that you love him. But there’s something else inside you that you never quite share with me. Doesn’t mean I can’t see it though. Fear that you’re not good enough.”
Liv shrugged, feeling the shame of it roil in her gut.
“You act so tough. So in charge and confident but there’s something always in the back of your mind, isn’t there? Telling you that you don’t deserve forever. So you’re going to jump on something like this to keep from taking a big step with a man who is your match. And he is, Liv. These other men, Brody, Matt, you’ve enjoyed them and had long term things with them but they weren’t your equal. Not the way Marc is. You can’t manage him or keep him walled out and that scares you.”
Liv chewed her bottom lip, blinking fast to hold back tears. “I want forever. I do.”
“I know you do. And you deserve it too. But in order to have it, you have to risk your heart and really trust yourself as much as you need to trust Marc. Trust that you deserve to be loved. I had to risk that, risk my heart and take the leap when Kyle came along. I was scared shitless but hell, look at us now. A mortgage, a kid, a mother-in-law who fills my house with so much baby gear I can barely walk. I figure if you marry Marc, she’ll spend some of her energy on you and I’ll get a break.”
“I don’t know if I can. If I take him back and he cheats, I don’t know if I can survive it. When I saw him there with Nancy like that…I’ve never in my life felt that kind of pain. Not even when I lost my mother did it feel so awful, so hopeless. I don’t want to experience that again.” Liv toyed with the food on her plate but didn’t eat anything.
“Tough guy. Total marshmallow in the center.” Maggie smiled and handed Nicholas to her along with his baby bag. “Take him on up with you, I’m going back to the car to get his porta-crib.”
“Come on you, you’re the best man I’ve taken to a hotel room ever.” Liv kissed his forehead and took him upstairs.
She’d changed a diaper and was singing him some Aretha Franklin when Maggie knocked on the door and moved to set up his crib.
“I’m going to nurse him down. Order me something good to eat and settle in. We have a lot to talk about and I’m staying over.”
“Bossy.”
“Damned right. Get to it, I’m hungry.”
Twenty minutes later, Nicholas was sleeping in the bedroom and the food arrived. Liv cracked open a beer and sat back, looking at Maggie. “So? Go on, tell me.”
“You tell me. What kind of stupid shit is this? Moving to Atlanta? Why? Over a stupid misunderstanding with your boyfriend? Even if he had cheated on you, which he didn’t, why would a woman like Liv Davis let anyone chase her out of her own damned town?”
“Because that woman can’t keep a damned man, Maggie. I don’t want to be her anymore. I don’t want to be there anymore. I’m making a clean break and starting over here. A new city and a new outlook. I’ll find the right man here and I won’t have to see Marc Chase’s face ever again.”
“He loves you, damn it. What you saw was Nancy acting a fool. I talked with the stupid cow a few days ago. She faked a problem with her machine and when he leaned in to help her she grabbed him with her legs. He’d just pushed away from her when you walked in. He was ready to rip a hank off her hide. He’s sorry you’re hurt. He knows it looked bad but it only looked bad. Honey, he loves you. He’s been miserable since you’ve been gone.”
“Oh boo hoo. What about me, huh? I couldn’t even go to my best friend without her calling Marc. I couldn’t talk to my other best friend because she’s married to that fink’s other brother. My best guy friend is his other damned brother. And I’m in a hotel an hour and a half away and my other two friends finked me out as well. Why does Marc get all the consideration here?”
“I’m sorry! Liv, honey, I am truly sorry I hurt you. I just wanted to help. I know he loves you. I know you love him. I didn’t mean to drive you away.” Maggie took her hand and squeezed it. “Of all the people in my life, you’ve been there for me the longest. When no one else loved me, you did. When no one else cared about how I was feeling or how I did on an exam, you did. When no one else remembered my birthday, you did. It breaks my heart that you feel you can’t count on me. Please forgive me. Honestly, I can’t bear it that you feel you can’t trust me.”
Liv sighed. “I understand why you did it. I just needed to be alone. I needed to think.”
“Well you haven’t been thinking at all if you think moving away is a logical way to deal with this. Do you think Marc is just going to let you walk away? Liv, haven’t you heard anything I’ve said about that night?”
“I have. I heard it from him too via voicemails.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it and wondering if I believed him but really I suppose the problem is that I have to think about it to begin with.”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean if I really trusted him and if he was truly trustworthy, would I have had to think on it for a week? Would I doubt him at all?”
“Liv, you know, I can’t do this for you. I can tell you my opinion, which is that Marc is telling the truth. That he loves you. That he’s worth trusting. I can also tell you that you love him. But there’s something else inside you that you never quite share with me. Doesn’t mean I can’t see it though. Fear that you’re not good enough.”
Liv shrugged, feeling the shame of it roil in her gut.
“You act so tough. So in charge and confident but there’s something always in the back of your mind, isn’t there? Telling you that you don’t deserve forever. So you’re going to jump on something like this to keep from taking a big step with a man who is your match. And he is, Liv. These other men, Brody, Matt, you’ve enjoyed them and had long term things with them but they weren’t your equal. Not the way Marc is. You can’t manage him or keep him walled out and that scares you.”
Liv chewed her bottom lip, blinking fast to hold back tears. “I want forever. I do.”
“I know you do. And you deserve it too. But in order to have it, you have to risk your heart and really trust yourself as much as you need to trust Marc. Trust that you deserve to be loved. I had to risk that, risk my heart and take the leap when Kyle came along. I was scared shitless but hell, look at us now. A mortgage, a kid, a mother-in-law who fills my house with so much baby gear I can barely walk. I figure if you marry Marc, she’ll spend some of her energy on you and I’ll get a break.”
“I don’t know if I can. If I take him back and he cheats, I don’t know if I can survive it. When I saw him there with Nancy like that…I’ve never in my life felt that kind of pain. Not even when I lost my mother did it feel so awful, so hopeless. I don’t want to experience that again.” Liv toyed with the food on her plate but didn’t eat anything.
