Chasing Dreams
Page 36
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As he so kindly reminded her, she was out of control when it came to what she wanted. He’d told his friends how she’d begged him to fuck her. Repeatedly. Which she had, no doubt. During the throes of passion. Between the two of them. Never did she expect him to share their intimate moments with anyone else. But he did. Oh, how he did.
She’d learned her lesson. Considering she and Richie had been young, their sex life had still been enough to satisfy her. Tessa had learned a little too late that not all men were like Richie. Not all men knew how to keep their personal lives private.
For months after she tossed Chad to the curb because of his verbal abuse, Tessa had to fend off men who were looking for a good time. She had idiotically thought she was falling in love with Chad. They had only dated for a couple of months, but he’d filled a void that Richie had left when he died.
As it turned out, she was just a means to an end for Chad. He had been an up and coming country music singer and he was more popular in his own head than he was anywhere else. But Tessa had honestly liked him. He was handsome, charming. He was also a notorious flirt. And he was using her to play at The Rusty Nail, trying to lay the groundwork for his future stardom – which never came.
Needless to say, the very first time she was approached by one of Chad’s buddies, she had known then and there that what had happened between them surely hadn’t stayed between them. Another reason to add to the long list of his short comings.
Apparently, her breaking up with him had been a blow to Chad’s ego and rather than acting like a rational adult, he’d turned on her. A man who had professed his love for her on more than one occasion had turned on her so fast, her head spun.
Before she even knew what happened, rumors were spreading about how easy she was. How she had begged him to have sex with her on their second date. It didn’t seem to matter that he was lying, nor did it matter that she had never been with another man since her husband died. The rumors spread and Tessa vowed never to let it happen again.
Until Cooper.
It was as though he flashed one of those flirtatious, lopsided grins and her panties fell off. And last night, she’d given in to the pleasure her body sought so desperately. She wanted to savor every second she was with him. Only she should’ve known better. She should’ve thought about the repercussions.
When he left her on her front porch, he didn’t seem happy. He had kissed her quickly on the lips, then disappeared down the steps, leaving her to stare after him. Or maybe that’s just what she expected. Either way, regret was eating a hole right through her.
The water in the shower began to chill, and Tessa quickly turned it off, reaching for the towel she had tossed on the closed toilet seat. She wrapped the plush cotton around her, but she couldn’t seem to ward off the bone chilling cold that had replaced any warmth from the night before.
Why did she do this to herself? Why did she compare every man to Chad? Or to Richie for that matter?
She didn’t have the answers, didn’t think she would ever have them. The only thing she knew for a fact was that she wasn’t willing to let herself get close to Cooper. She should probably clarify that – she wouldn’t get any closer than she already was.
What happened between them last night would live in her memory forever, and hopefully, it would always remain between just the two of them. Tessa wasn’t sure what she’d do if she had to relive the painful lies all over again.
Geez, she really needed to get out of her funk. And soon.
Grabbing her cell phone, she dialed Izzy’s number, knowing that her best friend would be her only saving grace at this point.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
It’d only been three hours since Cooper dropped Tessa off at her house, yet it felt like days since he’d last seen her. Although he had busied himself by running to the hardware store and picking up a truckload of wood to repair the deteriorating porch, and had actually forced himself to work on it, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting back to the night before.
He’d had to start working on the front porch, just to avoid going to the back of the house because the memories were even stronger there. Cooper could still see Tessa sprawled out beneath him, feel her sharp nails as they dug crescent shapes into his shoulders, hear the soft, gasping moans that had the blood rushing south in an instant.
Cooper had no idea what fascinated him so much about the woman. Considering they seemed to be at separate places in their lives - him wanting to settle down, her not looking for a relationship of any sort, aside from perhaps friends with benefits. It didn’t stop him from wanting her. Wanting to get to know her and not just what made her body burn. He wanted to know what made her smile, made her laugh. What made her so jaded.
Whatever was going on with her, she didn’t seem interested in sharing with him. This morning was proof because as soon as they’d made love with the early morning sun shining down upon them, she’d practically raced to get away from him. He had been confused, but not necessarily surprised. They didn’t talk much on the drive to her house, and when he walked her to her door, she had barely been able to look him in the eye. The last part was what did him in.
Cooper could accept her need to keep things casual, even if he didn’t agree with it. However, he wasn’t willing to be a notch in her bedpost any more than he’d want her to be one in his. No matter how many sexual partners he’d had in his past, Cooper had never been able to look at a woman that way.
Truth be told, he was never with nearly as many women as the media liked to proclaim. Mainly for that reason. He found that most of the women he met were interested in one of two things: being able to brag about their conquest, or eager to get their hands on his money. Some were even interested in both. He’d gotten used to the expectations, and yes, he had used sex to take the edge off from time to time. But things were different with Tessa. Significantly different.
There was chemistry there, obviously. But there was something more.
Taking a break, Cooper headed inside, checking his cell phone to see if he’d missed any calls. He hadn’t. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler he had filled with ice during his trip into town, and stood at the back door, staring through the screen. He purposely avoided glancing down at the floor, or the railing.
Shit.
Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, Cooper tried to think of something other than Tessa. The problem was, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He was acting like a damn woman, and it was beginning to piss him off.
She’d learned her lesson. Considering she and Richie had been young, their sex life had still been enough to satisfy her. Tessa had learned a little too late that not all men were like Richie. Not all men knew how to keep their personal lives private.
For months after she tossed Chad to the curb because of his verbal abuse, Tessa had to fend off men who were looking for a good time. She had idiotically thought she was falling in love with Chad. They had only dated for a couple of months, but he’d filled a void that Richie had left when he died.
As it turned out, she was just a means to an end for Chad. He had been an up and coming country music singer and he was more popular in his own head than he was anywhere else. But Tessa had honestly liked him. He was handsome, charming. He was also a notorious flirt. And he was using her to play at The Rusty Nail, trying to lay the groundwork for his future stardom – which never came.
Needless to say, the very first time she was approached by one of Chad’s buddies, she had known then and there that what had happened between them surely hadn’t stayed between them. Another reason to add to the long list of his short comings.
Apparently, her breaking up with him had been a blow to Chad’s ego and rather than acting like a rational adult, he’d turned on her. A man who had professed his love for her on more than one occasion had turned on her so fast, her head spun.
Before she even knew what happened, rumors were spreading about how easy she was. How she had begged him to have sex with her on their second date. It didn’t seem to matter that he was lying, nor did it matter that she had never been with another man since her husband died. The rumors spread and Tessa vowed never to let it happen again.
Until Cooper.
It was as though he flashed one of those flirtatious, lopsided grins and her panties fell off. And last night, she’d given in to the pleasure her body sought so desperately. She wanted to savor every second she was with him. Only she should’ve known better. She should’ve thought about the repercussions.
When he left her on her front porch, he didn’t seem happy. He had kissed her quickly on the lips, then disappeared down the steps, leaving her to stare after him. Or maybe that’s just what she expected. Either way, regret was eating a hole right through her.
The water in the shower began to chill, and Tessa quickly turned it off, reaching for the towel she had tossed on the closed toilet seat. She wrapped the plush cotton around her, but she couldn’t seem to ward off the bone chilling cold that had replaced any warmth from the night before.
Why did she do this to herself? Why did she compare every man to Chad? Or to Richie for that matter?
She didn’t have the answers, didn’t think she would ever have them. The only thing she knew for a fact was that she wasn’t willing to let herself get close to Cooper. She should probably clarify that – she wouldn’t get any closer than she already was.
What happened between them last night would live in her memory forever, and hopefully, it would always remain between just the two of them. Tessa wasn’t sure what she’d do if she had to relive the painful lies all over again.
Geez, she really needed to get out of her funk. And soon.
Grabbing her cell phone, she dialed Izzy’s number, knowing that her best friend would be her only saving grace at this point.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
It’d only been three hours since Cooper dropped Tessa off at her house, yet it felt like days since he’d last seen her. Although he had busied himself by running to the hardware store and picking up a truckload of wood to repair the deteriorating porch, and had actually forced himself to work on it, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting back to the night before.
He’d had to start working on the front porch, just to avoid going to the back of the house because the memories were even stronger there. Cooper could still see Tessa sprawled out beneath him, feel her sharp nails as they dug crescent shapes into his shoulders, hear the soft, gasping moans that had the blood rushing south in an instant.
Cooper had no idea what fascinated him so much about the woman. Considering they seemed to be at separate places in their lives - him wanting to settle down, her not looking for a relationship of any sort, aside from perhaps friends with benefits. It didn’t stop him from wanting her. Wanting to get to know her and not just what made her body burn. He wanted to know what made her smile, made her laugh. What made her so jaded.
Whatever was going on with her, she didn’t seem interested in sharing with him. This morning was proof because as soon as they’d made love with the early morning sun shining down upon them, she’d practically raced to get away from him. He had been confused, but not necessarily surprised. They didn’t talk much on the drive to her house, and when he walked her to her door, she had barely been able to look him in the eye. The last part was what did him in.
Cooper could accept her need to keep things casual, even if he didn’t agree with it. However, he wasn’t willing to be a notch in her bedpost any more than he’d want her to be one in his. No matter how many sexual partners he’d had in his past, Cooper had never been able to look at a woman that way.
Truth be told, he was never with nearly as many women as the media liked to proclaim. Mainly for that reason. He found that most of the women he met were interested in one of two things: being able to brag about their conquest, or eager to get their hands on his money. Some were even interested in both. He’d gotten used to the expectations, and yes, he had used sex to take the edge off from time to time. But things were different with Tessa. Significantly different.
There was chemistry there, obviously. But there was something more.
Taking a break, Cooper headed inside, checking his cell phone to see if he’d missed any calls. He hadn’t. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler he had filled with ice during his trip into town, and stood at the back door, staring through the screen. He purposely avoided glancing down at the floor, or the railing.
Shit.
Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, Cooper tried to think of something other than Tessa. The problem was, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He was acting like a damn woman, and it was beginning to piss him off.
