Chasing Dreams
Page 66
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Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to think of everything? She’d much prefer him to be the asshole she expected him to be.
Like Chad.
Couldn’t he just get defensive and blame everything on her? It would make things so much easier. More specifically, walking away would be easier.
“Eat,” he commanded as he dropped into the chair beside her.
Tessa knew she should. She was famished, and the breakfast actually looked wonderful. Eggs, bacon, toast. Everything cooked to perfection and sitting in front of her, beckoning her. Only her stomach wasn’t listening to her mouth.
“Tessa, look at me.” Cooper’s softly spoken words had her breaking her concentration and looking up at him. She felt like she was going to cry. The tears were threatening, and she knew any minute the dam was going to break.
“I can’t do this,” she choked out.
“Yes, you can,” he argued. “Give me a chance, Tessa.”
The statement brought back the memory of Izzy insisting that she do the same thing. Last night, she’d actually been surprised that Izzy hadn’t jumped onboard the hate train and rallied against Cooper after what Tessa told her. That’s what her best friend was supposed to do. But not last night. No, Izzy had been the voice of reason, begging her to let him explain.
And here they were, but Tessa wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Hell, if Cooper wasn’t willing to have sex with her because he didn’t think she trusted him – which she didn’t – then she knew what he had to say wasn’t going to be good.
“Where’s Marcus?” she asked, hoping to derail her thoughts for a few minutes. Grabbing the piece of toast, she nibbled on the edge, staring down at her plate.
“No idea. I fired him last night,” Cooper answered, his fork clinking against the glass plate as he went to work on his food.
Tessa’s eyes flew up to meet his instantly. “You fired him?”
Cooper nodded, his mouth full of food, but he kept his eyes trained on her.
“Why?” she asked, her voice unsteady. Did he do that because of what Marcus said? Did Marcus lie to her and Cooper wasn’t having any of it?
“It was time.” That was all Cooper said before he dug back into his food.
Tessa allowed the silence to descend around them as she made a half ass attempt to eat the food he’d prepared for her. It was good, she’d give him that. Although, she wasn’t sure her stomach was going to hold it down for long. Her nerves were suddenly jumping, and her fear of what he was going to say was getting the best of her.
When they were finished, Cooper grabbed up her half empty plate and carried it to the sink with his. Tessa stared at his back – his sexy, muscled back and smooth, sculpted shoulders. Why did the man have to look so good?
“More coffee?” he asked a few minutes later when he returned to her side.
She just nodded her head, her eyes still glued to his body. She’d apparently sat there watching him the entire time, and now her insides were starting a slow boil. Damn it. She was supposed to be mad at him.
“Come on, Tessa. Let’s go sit on the porch, and I’ll explain,” Cooper stated, sounding defeated. He waited for her as she pushed out of her chair and then mindlessly headed toward the back porch rather than the front.
She had several chairs scattered on the porch, two of them the comfy kind that she loved to sit in and read on a cool evening. Because she could keep farther from him if she did, Tessa chose one of those chairs and dropped into it, taking the coffee he offered once she was seated.
Holding the cup close to her chest, she blew on the top, watching the steam as it drifted upward. She glanced over to see Cooper sitting in one of the hard back chairs, his coffee cup resting on the railing as he sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands wrapped around his downturned head.
He looked so incredibly vulnerable like that. Invisible strings on her heart tugged painfully hard, forcing her to swallow. If this was hard for him, she couldn’t imagine what it was going to do to her.
“Marcus said you do this often,” Tessa said suddenly, unable to sit there and watch him any longer. This was getting to be too difficult. He really needed to spill it and then move on. It was the only way Tessa was going to survive with her heart intact.
Ok, part of her heart intact. A very small fraction.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Hanging his head low, Cooper tried to gather his thoughts. Ever since he woke up that morning, Tessa’s soft, warm body beside his, he’d been trying to come up with an easy way to explain himself. He knew no matter how he told the story, she wasn’t going to be happy with him.
But he had no choice.
“Marcus told you about a woman in Arkansas,” Cooper began. It wasn’t a question, and he wasn’t expecting her to answer him, so he continued, “Her name was Tabitha. She came to one of my concerts in a neighboring town, and at the end of the night, I found her in my tour bus. That had been a bad night for me.” He remembered feeling helpless and alone that night, and he’d had half a mind to disappear at that time, but he had held tight and just went out to the bus, hoping for some time to himself.
Cooper didn’t look up as the memories of that night flooded his brain. “I was surprised to find anyone on the bus, but she seemed sweet enough, and I had learned to gently approach the fans who were brave enough to go to those lengths to meet me. We talked for what seemed like hours.” Cooper looked up at her. “And no, before you ask, I didn’t have anything to drink. Just three bottles of water.”
Cooper turned his gaze to the yard, watching the two dogs as they sniffed through the flower beds that were just beneath the back porch. “She was the one who brought me the water and honestly, I didn’t think anything of it. At some point, I passed out. I didn’t know it at the time, but she’d drugged me.”
Cooper wasn’t proud of the story. He knew it would sound as though he were making shit up, but he wasn’t.
“The next morning, I woke up in my bed on the bus, completely naked with Tabitha beside me. Just as naked.” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Tessa’s eyes. “We parted ways after that. I was used to women like that, wanting to have a story to tell, so I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t remember sleeping with her, but she told me… She confirmed that we had.” Cooper wasn’t going to go into details, but Tabitha had been particularly candid about what activities had occurred through the night.
Like Chad.
Couldn’t he just get defensive and blame everything on her? It would make things so much easier. More specifically, walking away would be easier.
“Eat,” he commanded as he dropped into the chair beside her.
Tessa knew she should. She was famished, and the breakfast actually looked wonderful. Eggs, bacon, toast. Everything cooked to perfection and sitting in front of her, beckoning her. Only her stomach wasn’t listening to her mouth.
“Tessa, look at me.” Cooper’s softly spoken words had her breaking her concentration and looking up at him. She felt like she was going to cry. The tears were threatening, and she knew any minute the dam was going to break.
“I can’t do this,” she choked out.
“Yes, you can,” he argued. “Give me a chance, Tessa.”
The statement brought back the memory of Izzy insisting that she do the same thing. Last night, she’d actually been surprised that Izzy hadn’t jumped onboard the hate train and rallied against Cooper after what Tessa told her. That’s what her best friend was supposed to do. But not last night. No, Izzy had been the voice of reason, begging her to let him explain.
And here they were, but Tessa wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Hell, if Cooper wasn’t willing to have sex with her because he didn’t think she trusted him – which she didn’t – then she knew what he had to say wasn’t going to be good.
“Where’s Marcus?” she asked, hoping to derail her thoughts for a few minutes. Grabbing the piece of toast, she nibbled on the edge, staring down at her plate.
“No idea. I fired him last night,” Cooper answered, his fork clinking against the glass plate as he went to work on his food.
Tessa’s eyes flew up to meet his instantly. “You fired him?”
Cooper nodded, his mouth full of food, but he kept his eyes trained on her.
“Why?” she asked, her voice unsteady. Did he do that because of what Marcus said? Did Marcus lie to her and Cooper wasn’t having any of it?
“It was time.” That was all Cooper said before he dug back into his food.
Tessa allowed the silence to descend around them as she made a half ass attempt to eat the food he’d prepared for her. It was good, she’d give him that. Although, she wasn’t sure her stomach was going to hold it down for long. Her nerves were suddenly jumping, and her fear of what he was going to say was getting the best of her.
When they were finished, Cooper grabbed up her half empty plate and carried it to the sink with his. Tessa stared at his back – his sexy, muscled back and smooth, sculpted shoulders. Why did the man have to look so good?
“More coffee?” he asked a few minutes later when he returned to her side.
She just nodded her head, her eyes still glued to his body. She’d apparently sat there watching him the entire time, and now her insides were starting a slow boil. Damn it. She was supposed to be mad at him.
“Come on, Tessa. Let’s go sit on the porch, and I’ll explain,” Cooper stated, sounding defeated. He waited for her as she pushed out of her chair and then mindlessly headed toward the back porch rather than the front.
She had several chairs scattered on the porch, two of them the comfy kind that she loved to sit in and read on a cool evening. Because she could keep farther from him if she did, Tessa chose one of those chairs and dropped into it, taking the coffee he offered once she was seated.
Holding the cup close to her chest, she blew on the top, watching the steam as it drifted upward. She glanced over to see Cooper sitting in one of the hard back chairs, his coffee cup resting on the railing as he sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands wrapped around his downturned head.
He looked so incredibly vulnerable like that. Invisible strings on her heart tugged painfully hard, forcing her to swallow. If this was hard for him, she couldn’t imagine what it was going to do to her.
“Marcus said you do this often,” Tessa said suddenly, unable to sit there and watch him any longer. This was getting to be too difficult. He really needed to spill it and then move on. It was the only way Tessa was going to survive with her heart intact.
Ok, part of her heart intact. A very small fraction.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Hanging his head low, Cooper tried to gather his thoughts. Ever since he woke up that morning, Tessa’s soft, warm body beside his, he’d been trying to come up with an easy way to explain himself. He knew no matter how he told the story, she wasn’t going to be happy with him.
But he had no choice.
“Marcus told you about a woman in Arkansas,” Cooper began. It wasn’t a question, and he wasn’t expecting her to answer him, so he continued, “Her name was Tabitha. She came to one of my concerts in a neighboring town, and at the end of the night, I found her in my tour bus. That had been a bad night for me.” He remembered feeling helpless and alone that night, and he’d had half a mind to disappear at that time, but he had held tight and just went out to the bus, hoping for some time to himself.
Cooper didn’t look up as the memories of that night flooded his brain. “I was surprised to find anyone on the bus, but she seemed sweet enough, and I had learned to gently approach the fans who were brave enough to go to those lengths to meet me. We talked for what seemed like hours.” Cooper looked up at her. “And no, before you ask, I didn’t have anything to drink. Just three bottles of water.”
Cooper turned his gaze to the yard, watching the two dogs as they sniffed through the flower beds that were just beneath the back porch. “She was the one who brought me the water and honestly, I didn’t think anything of it. At some point, I passed out. I didn’t know it at the time, but she’d drugged me.”
Cooper wasn’t proud of the story. He knew it would sound as though he were making shit up, but he wasn’t.
“The next morning, I woke up in my bed on the bus, completely naked with Tabitha beside me. Just as naked.” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Tessa’s eyes. “We parted ways after that. I was used to women like that, wanting to have a story to tell, so I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t remember sleeping with her, but she told me… She confirmed that we had.” Cooper wasn’t going to go into details, but Tabitha had been particularly candid about what activities had occurred through the night.
