Chasing Impossible
Page 4

“It’s boys only,” I say.
“Rules don’t apply to me. You should know that by now. Anyhow, you guys let me hang when you baled hay at Chris’s farm.”
“That was one day and this will be for a week. Camping and dirt your thing, Abby?”
“I can make anything my thing.”
I believe that.
“I heard that Noah and Isaiah are going. Noah’s going to use that money to buy Echo an engagement ring.”
I heard the same thing from Noah, Isaiah’s best friend, but it’s not my business. “Point?”
“If Noah gets to go, I want to go. Maybe I want to buy myself a diamond ring.”
“You’re going to help bale hay?”
Abby scowls. “Hell, no. I just want to go and get paid.”
I laugh, she smiles and the drummer of the band onstage begins the count. For the third time this evening, the electric guitarist comes in late and starts off beat. I came here tonight because I heard this band was on the verge of kicking him out. I’ve been searching for a new high, at least for the summer, and this just might be it.
“Dance with me, Logan.”
That rips my attention away from the guy making a fool of himself onstage. I examine Abby and wonder what piece she just moved on the chessboard. Wouldn’t put it past Abby to sacrifice a pawn in order to kill a queen. Abby is nothing if not strategic.
“I don’t dance.” I don’t.
She slowly raises her eyebrows, and I fight the tilt of my lips. Abby doesn’t like being told no. “You’ll dart into traffic to run after a stranger’s balloon, but you won’t dance with me?”
I ran into traffic because I was curious if I could make it to the other side. The balloon made it interesting. “I don’t dance with anyone.”
“You were the one that suggested we come here.”
I shrug. I’m here because an opportunity presented itself and I’m fascinated by the new and shiny.
“Dance with me, Logan,” she says again, and I have to admit I like how her hips sway to the music. “Why else would you come here if it wasn’t to touch me on the dance floor?”
I chuckle because that caught me off guard and Abby laughs, her real laugh. It doesn’t happen often and I like when it does.
“Rachel said she wanted to dance,” I say.
And she is, with Isaiah. While everyone else is grinding it out to the hard beat, Isaiah is slow dancing with his girl. Her head’s on his shoulder, his arms are wound tight around her waist. They look like they could die now and wouldn’t notice they had landed in heaven since they’re already there. That right there is love and it’s one in a million.
I’m not foolish enough to believe I’ll find something like Isaiah and Rachel share, but I’m fine with that. Emotions are overrated.
My cell buzzes on the table and I swipe it before Abby can read this one. Dad: Stay out of trouble. I texted your mom to see if she knew you needed to be up in the morning for the meeting and she said you never told her. Don’t do this, Logan. Not again.
My jaw twitches with annoyance. I shove my phone into my pocket. Abby’s watching me with a baffled expression, which means she must have read over my shoulder. “That was sweet of him. What type of trouble is he referring to? The type where you drag race with Isaiah or where you jump out of towering trees or play in traffic?”
All things I’ve done and those weren’t even the top three dangerous feats I’ve taken on recently. “Remember when I told you to mind your own business?”
“That never happened. Get your memories straight. And what’s this meeting in the morning?”
Nothing I’m interested in attending. “Let it go.”
This time, Abby is the one who leans forward on the table and she knows what she’s doing as she hugs her waist so that her cleavage peeks out. She’s the tiger after her prey. “Now that I think about it, you never talk about your parents. In fact, you really don’t talk at all.”
“We talk.”
“We play,” she says, and my gaze meets hers with the raw honesty. “What was that text about?”
“Not your business.”
“Make it my business.”
“I’m telling you to back off.”
“Not sure if you noticed, but I’m not the back-off type.” Abby scans the room like she’s searching for someone, and it’s not the first time she’s done that tonight.
“Who are you searching for?” I ask.
She sneers, so I know I called that right. “I’m not looking for anyone.”
“You are.”
“Topic of conversation was you and your dad and that text. Stick with the subject.”
Anger begins to bubble up in my bloodstream. “I told you, let it go.”
As if she’s a toddler, Abby stomps her foot. “Well, I’m not. I want to know.”
Abby and I usually don’t play this way, but if she wants to go there, then I’m throwing both of us over the edge. “You’ve been off all night. Acting like the boogeyman is out to get you. What’s your deal?”
Her expression blackens. “There’s no deal.”
Bull. “You think you’re unreadable, but I got your number.”
“Back the fuck off, Logan.”
Like she backed off of me? “Is it the drugs? Are you bringing trouble to Rachel’s doorstep? This is the first time she’s been out like this since the accident. She doesn’t need any more problems than she’s got.”
She blinks like I backhanded her and I hate the heaviness in my stomach. Yeah, tonight was about me checking out the band, but tonight was also a scheme created by Rachel. She’s bent on saving Abby. All of us are. It’s a feeble plan. Hang together, have a great time, ask her to leave with us and hope she ignores her chosen path for at least one night. It wouldn’t win the war, but we’ll celebrate any small victory.
Abby’s head jerks in an angry way. “I would never put Rachel in the line of fire.”
“I may not understand what you do, but I’m not seeing how you can minimize those risks. You’re not God.”
“What? You judging me now? Do you think I’m a threat? Do you think I’m unworthy of her friendship? Of yours?”
“No. Just trying to understand you.”
“We play, remember?” And the ache in her eyes cuts me deep. “We aren’t real friends so stop acting like you care.”
Damn me for hurting her. “Abby—”
It’s as if a mask covers Abby’s face, and where there was pain, there’s now a smirk. A fake smirk. A mere shadow of the girl who was playing make-believe a few minutes ago. “You’re too serious, Logan. We get along because neither of us does emotion. Let me know if you change your mind on the dance.”
I’d almost consider the dance if it would erase the past few seconds, but even I know there’s no changing the past.
“You’re wrong,” I call out as Abby has turned her back on me to slip into the crowd.
She pivots to face me again, but still walks backwards. “That never happens, but to placate you, how was I wrong?”
“It was my brilliant plan to sneak out the windows in kindergarten and then sneak back in. I’m the one with the massive IQ, remember?”
That devilish glint reappears in her eyes along with her heart-stopping smile. “I only let you think it was your plan, but it was really mine. And on the IQ? I’ll put my test scores up to yours any day and I’ll win.”
A smile stretches across my face and Abby winks before disappearing. And the game continues. We both moved pieces and neither of us is any closer to winning, but I’m not sure what’s at stake to be won.
Abby’s a drug dealer.
I’m a ticking time bomb.
Neither Abby nor I are reliable or stable. We’re like a tidal wave of gasoline approaching a nuclear power plant, but we still like to play with matches.
Doesn’t make sense. I guess it doesn’t need to. I work well in the undefined.
I pull out my cell, ignore the text from Dad and scroll through the trail of messages between me and Sly. He’s an ex-boyfriend of Mom’s. He was around before either of us learned not to get attached. Sly was a hard lesson for me and I was an even harder lesson for him.
Me: I’ve heard the band. I want in.
Sly: I’ll get you ten minutes with them this week. Don’t fuck it up.
Me: Won’t.
Sly: You’re good with the traveling?
I scan the bar. Isaiah and West are playing pool on the other side of the room. When Isaiah catches my eye he jerks his chin for me to join them. I tip my head to let him know I’ll be there soon. Another sweep of the room and I spot Abby dancing with Rachel again. They’re holding hands, twirling together, and laughing.
Like Ryan and Chris, Isaiah and West also graduated this spring. Moving forward. Moving on. Rachel’s still in school, transferring this year to my new school in fact. We’re friends, but not close friends.
All I’ve got left in this life is Abby and nobody knows Abby. She doesn’t belong enough to anyone for her to have friends. Just the way all mythical creatures should live.
Me: Yeah, I’m good on the traveling. I’m good with starting a new life.