Telephone numbers, addresses, and emails were exchanged, and then Glen rummaged through a file drawer until he extracted a manila envelope which he handed to Tessa.
“You can have all of these,” he assured her. “I have copies of a few of them. When I married Cammie, I came close to tossing all of these away. Even though nothing had ever happened between Gillian and I, it seemed a bit disloyal to be hanging onto photos of another woman. But when I told Cammie about that whole period in my life, she insisted that I keep these. And now I know why. It was in case you ever found your way here, Tessa, so that I could give you at least this much.”
Tessa drew a plastic protective sheet from the envelope that at first glance appeared to contain at least a dozen photos. With trembling fingers, she took out the first one, which showed Gillian holding a blonde, curly-haired baby girl who looked to be about five or six months old.
“Oh, God.”
Tessa was too choked up with emotion at seeing this picture of herself and her mother, and Ian had to rescue the photo before it slipped through her fingers. With his help, she looked through the remaining photos - some of just Gillian, a few of Tessa by herself, and the rest of the two of them together.
“This one’s my favorite,” Glen told her, pointing to a shot of Gillian holding Tessa in her arms. Tessa figured she must have been around three years old at the time, and it looked from the background that she and her mother had been at some sort of carnival or street fair. She and Gillian both had flowers in their identical blonde curls, and were smiling with happiness.
“I took that of the two of you at a street festival in the East Village,” recalled Glen. “It was about a week before you left town for the last time. If I had known that would happen, that I’d never see you again, Tessa, I would have done something, anything, to make sure you stayed with me.”
Impulsively, she gave him a fierce hug. “Thank you,” she murmured tearfully. “For everything. For looking out for me and my mom. For giving me her book and these photos. I’m just sorry that you wasted so many years of your life loving a woman who really wasn’t capable of loving anyone.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Tessa,” replied Glen gently. “Because she did love you. More than she thought she was capable of loving someone. And once you read the book, you’ll see that for yourself.”
Ian squinted blearily at the bedside clock, frowning when he saw the hour - nearly three in the morning - and realized Tessa wasn’t sleeping soundly beside him in the bed. Raking a hand through his sleep-mussed hair, he got out of bed and stumbled out of the suite’s bedroom in the darkness, following the light he noticed had been left on in the living room.
And then he smiled in mingled amusement and tenderness as he spied his missing fiancée curled up on the living room sofa. She was fast asleep, her mother’s fourth and final book on the floor at her feet. Earlier, after a particularly randy bout of sex, Tessa had taken the book to read in the living room, not wanting to disturb his sleep by leaving a lamp on. She’d promised him that she was only going to read for an hour, “just a few chapters, that’s all”. But it appeared that she had read a great deal more than just a few chapters, and had exhausted herself in the process.
Ian picked up the book carefully, but couldn’t resist flipping to the last few pages. After all, he argued with himself, it wasn’t like he didn’t already know how this particular story ended, so nothing would be spoiled by him peeking at the ending.
What he hadn’t counted on was being moved nearly to tears as he read the final paragraph of Gillian’s last book, quite possibly the last coherent words she’d ever written.
“And when I look at her, when I hold my precious baby girl in my arms, kiss her rosy little cheeks, smell that sweet baby scent, I feel hope for the first time in my life. Real hope, real happiness. We’re a family, her and I, and I know I have to do better for her. I have to get strong and stay that way, to fight this horrible monster inside me that wants to take over and pull me down into its dark jaws. But I won’t let it. I can’t. I have to take care of my baby, have to be strong for her, and never give in to the darkness again. Because of her - because of my precious, beloved Tessa. She’s going to be my salvation, I just know it, the one person who’s going to keep me going and give me a reason to live. She’s going to be my world, and my life, and the most precious, wonderful gift anyone could ever hope to be given.”
Ian set the book down with care, with reverence, whispering as he did so, “I know exactly how you feel, Gillian. Because your daughter is all of that and more to me. Thank you for having her, for bringing her into this world. I promise that I’ll take care of her in all the ways you weren’t able to. And I will cherish her every bit as much as I now know you did.”
He picked Tessa up easily, despite the fact that she was fast asleep and dead weight in his arms, and carried her to bed. She didn’t wake or make a sound, but as he slid into the bed beside her, she instinctively snuggled up against him.
“Sleep tight, my love,” he whispered against her hair, and within seconds he, too, had fallen back into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
June – San Francisco Tessa stared at Ian dumbfounded, unable to quite believe what he had just told her.
“She’s finally wised up and decided to leave him?” she asked in disbelief. “What prompted that? Not, of course,” she added hastily, “that Charlotte shouldn’t have dumped his pathetic, creepy ass years ago.”
Ian chuckled. “My sentiments exactly, love. And I don’t have all the juicy details, as Colin would no doubt refer to them. All I know is that Jason has been asked to move out of my uncle’s house, been relieved of his duties at the company, and that Charlotte has filed for divorce and will be seeking full custody of the children. I’m sure we’ll find out the rest in due time. Unless Colin gets to her first, that is, and wheedles all the specifics out of her. My brother is also a notorious gossip as well as an infamous flirt.”
“Wow.” Tessa shook her head. “I guess I shouldn’t have worried so much about having that creep attend our wedding then. You can tell Simon to cancel the extra security detail, I suppose.”
“You can tell him yourself,” teased Ian. “After all, you’re his very favorite person these days. No surprise as to why that is.”
“You can have all of these,” he assured her. “I have copies of a few of them. When I married Cammie, I came close to tossing all of these away. Even though nothing had ever happened between Gillian and I, it seemed a bit disloyal to be hanging onto photos of another woman. But when I told Cammie about that whole period in my life, she insisted that I keep these. And now I know why. It was in case you ever found your way here, Tessa, so that I could give you at least this much.”
Tessa drew a plastic protective sheet from the envelope that at first glance appeared to contain at least a dozen photos. With trembling fingers, she took out the first one, which showed Gillian holding a blonde, curly-haired baby girl who looked to be about five or six months old.
“Oh, God.”
Tessa was too choked up with emotion at seeing this picture of herself and her mother, and Ian had to rescue the photo before it slipped through her fingers. With his help, she looked through the remaining photos - some of just Gillian, a few of Tessa by herself, and the rest of the two of them together.
“This one’s my favorite,” Glen told her, pointing to a shot of Gillian holding Tessa in her arms. Tessa figured she must have been around three years old at the time, and it looked from the background that she and her mother had been at some sort of carnival or street fair. She and Gillian both had flowers in their identical blonde curls, and were smiling with happiness.
“I took that of the two of you at a street festival in the East Village,” recalled Glen. “It was about a week before you left town for the last time. If I had known that would happen, that I’d never see you again, Tessa, I would have done something, anything, to make sure you stayed with me.”
Impulsively, she gave him a fierce hug. “Thank you,” she murmured tearfully. “For everything. For looking out for me and my mom. For giving me her book and these photos. I’m just sorry that you wasted so many years of your life loving a woman who really wasn’t capable of loving anyone.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Tessa,” replied Glen gently. “Because she did love you. More than she thought she was capable of loving someone. And once you read the book, you’ll see that for yourself.”
Ian squinted blearily at the bedside clock, frowning when he saw the hour - nearly three in the morning - and realized Tessa wasn’t sleeping soundly beside him in the bed. Raking a hand through his sleep-mussed hair, he got out of bed and stumbled out of the suite’s bedroom in the darkness, following the light he noticed had been left on in the living room.
And then he smiled in mingled amusement and tenderness as he spied his missing fiancée curled up on the living room sofa. She was fast asleep, her mother’s fourth and final book on the floor at her feet. Earlier, after a particularly randy bout of sex, Tessa had taken the book to read in the living room, not wanting to disturb his sleep by leaving a lamp on. She’d promised him that she was only going to read for an hour, “just a few chapters, that’s all”. But it appeared that she had read a great deal more than just a few chapters, and had exhausted herself in the process.
Ian picked up the book carefully, but couldn’t resist flipping to the last few pages. After all, he argued with himself, it wasn’t like he didn’t already know how this particular story ended, so nothing would be spoiled by him peeking at the ending.
What he hadn’t counted on was being moved nearly to tears as he read the final paragraph of Gillian’s last book, quite possibly the last coherent words she’d ever written.
“And when I look at her, when I hold my precious baby girl in my arms, kiss her rosy little cheeks, smell that sweet baby scent, I feel hope for the first time in my life. Real hope, real happiness. We’re a family, her and I, and I know I have to do better for her. I have to get strong and stay that way, to fight this horrible monster inside me that wants to take over and pull me down into its dark jaws. But I won’t let it. I can’t. I have to take care of my baby, have to be strong for her, and never give in to the darkness again. Because of her - because of my precious, beloved Tessa. She’s going to be my salvation, I just know it, the one person who’s going to keep me going and give me a reason to live. She’s going to be my world, and my life, and the most precious, wonderful gift anyone could ever hope to be given.”
Ian set the book down with care, with reverence, whispering as he did so, “I know exactly how you feel, Gillian. Because your daughter is all of that and more to me. Thank you for having her, for bringing her into this world. I promise that I’ll take care of her in all the ways you weren’t able to. And I will cherish her every bit as much as I now know you did.”
He picked Tessa up easily, despite the fact that she was fast asleep and dead weight in his arms, and carried her to bed. She didn’t wake or make a sound, but as he slid into the bed beside her, she instinctively snuggled up against him.
“Sleep tight, my love,” he whispered against her hair, and within seconds he, too, had fallen back into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
June – San Francisco Tessa stared at Ian dumbfounded, unable to quite believe what he had just told her.
“She’s finally wised up and decided to leave him?” she asked in disbelief. “What prompted that? Not, of course,” she added hastily, “that Charlotte shouldn’t have dumped his pathetic, creepy ass years ago.”
Ian chuckled. “My sentiments exactly, love. And I don’t have all the juicy details, as Colin would no doubt refer to them. All I know is that Jason has been asked to move out of my uncle’s house, been relieved of his duties at the company, and that Charlotte has filed for divorce and will be seeking full custody of the children. I’m sure we’ll find out the rest in due time. Unless Colin gets to her first, that is, and wheedles all the specifics out of her. My brother is also a notorious gossip as well as an infamous flirt.”
“Wow.” Tessa shook her head. “I guess I shouldn’t have worried so much about having that creep attend our wedding then. You can tell Simon to cancel the extra security detail, I suppose.”
“You can tell him yourself,” teased Ian. “After all, you’re his very favorite person these days. No surprise as to why that is.”
