Clipped by Love
Page 23

She giggles as she leans into me. “Smartass.”
Unlike her, I’m wearing a tee, and when she leans into me, her warmth is all-consuming against me. But she moves away too quickly in my opinion. She then looks at me, her eyes dancing with laughter as the fire glints off her face. “I have to admit, I’m having fun.”
“Ha! Told ya. I’m not that bad.”
“Not bad at all. Kinda funny,” she adds and I smile.
“I try.” I lean back against the couch and shrug. “It’s really nice being out here with you.”
She looks back at me and then leans back too. I can see that she is holding back, but finally, she admits, “I was thinking the same thing.”
She doesn’t want to admit that either; I can read it all over her face. We share a smile, and I don’t think she realizes how much I need this. I’ve been so fucked up over my mom and dad. Worrying about everyone. But when I’m out here, nothing matters. It’s just her and me, the fire burning, a good drink in my hand, and I don’t have to worry. I can relax. It’s nice.
“Something is wrong. I can see it on your face.”
I look up from my cup and shrug. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Wanna share?” she asks, and when I glance at her, she smiles. “Yeah, I don’t know why I asked since I don’t really do sharing feelings, but I kinda want to right now. So entertain me.”
I laugh as I nod and then I say, “I worry a lot.”
“About?”
“My family,” I say, letting out a breath. “Since my dad left, things have been strained. He was the main money-maker, so my mom was kind of fucked. We all pull together to help out, but I feel like it’s not enough. You see, my mom is the most amazing person in the world. And Jude’s moved away, Jace has a one-way ticket into the NHL, my sister Lucy and her daughter will one day move out, and I want so bad to go into the NHL, but then I’ll be leaving too. She’ll be alone. Whoa, I really unloaded on you there. My bad.”
I sit up, taking in a deep breath before dumping out my cup. No more drinking for me. I need to give my liver a break, obviously.
Sitting up, she turns to me, her legs touching mine, and heat explodes between us. I want to place my hand on her leg. I want to feel her. Touch her. Consume myself with her. But before I can even act on my feelings, she’s talking.
“It’s okay,” she says, covering my hand with hers. “You needed to, and I’m good to do that too, since you’ll never see me again after tomorrow.”
“Unfortunately,” I say softly, and when I glance up, her face mirrors mine.
Disappointment.
She doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then she says, “I’m not supposed to agree.”
Perplexed by that, I ask, “Why?”
“’Cause there is no future for us.”
“No?” I ask, even though I know there isn’t.
“No, I live in Arkansas, you in Nashville. I am so obsessed with being in the NHL that I don’t have time to even have a functioning relationship with a female friend, let alone try to make one with you. I want to go upstairs and fuck your brains out, I do, and that’s not the Jack talking. But I’m not sure I can and walk away with my heart intact. I don’t know if I can be a one-night stand.”
Wow. I want to throw my arms up in victory at being able to read her, but at the same time, I can see the struggle on her gorgeous face. She’s working her lip and she is nervous. I make her nervous. I make her feel and I am enjoying that way too much.
It’s evident though, that she won’t act on it.
Nodding, I say, “I hear you.”
“Don’t think I thought that you wanted a future with me, that’s not what I meant. But I mean, I don’t… Shit, I don’t know. I’m drunk.”
I laugh. “Me too, but I get you.”
She wrings her fingers together, letting out a breath. Her shoulders are taut, and I can tell she’s going back and forth in her mind. “I bet you wished it was someone else sitting here, eh?”
I smile as I shake my head before turning to her. She’s so beautiful, and yeah, I would like to take her upstairs and do the naughtiest things in the world, but I don’t want to disrespect her. She deserves better, and she’ll get it when she’s ready.
Reaching up, I cup her face as I say, “When I said earlier that you are the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen, I wasn’t lying.”
Looking deep into my eyes, she says, “Yeah, because you were drunk.”
“No, because it’s the truth,” I say softly. “You are beautiful, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere right now but with you.”
She looks away, her face moving from my hand as she shrugs. Looking out at the ocean, she sucks in a deep breath and then stands quickly. “Shit, I gotta piss.”
I stand too, feeling like I have whiplash from the fact that she can’t take a compliment. It’s kind of cute and only makes me want to compliment her more.
Smiling, I clear my throat and say, “Let me walk with you. You’re drunk and so are a lot of people here. I don’t trust anyone, plus I locked my door so no one can get in.”
“Thanks,” she says as we start to walk toward the house. “I can use the hall bathroom, though.”
“Ew, no, people have been puking in there,” I laugh and she smiles.
“Good point.”
As we walk, our hands keep brushing against each other, teasing me, and I honestly can’t handle it. We are almost to the house when I finally take ahold of her hand. I lace my fingers with hers, and when she glances over at me, I let out a breath. She looks down at our hands and back up at me.
“What are you doing?”
I shrug, squeezing her hand with mine. “I’ll never see you again, so I’m gonna touch you—within your boundaries, of course—while I can.”
She smiles. “So what’s next? You gonna kiss me?”
I feel like that’s an invitation, but I’m not one hundred percent sure.
I don’t answer her as I open the door for her, but when she glances up at me and her eyes lock with mine, I find myself one hundred percent sure that that was my opening.
Kicking myself internally, I pray for another chance as I say, “Maybe.”