Clipped by Love
Page 74

I’m not sure why I said that since, really, I don’t want to just hook up. Hooking up means that he can hook up with someone else. Like that damn wrestler chick, and that does not sit well with me.
“Do you just want to hook up?” he asks me then, and I bite into my lip harder.
“Not really,” I say, meeting his gaze.
“Me either. Yes, I want you—bad. But I also want all of you,” he says, his eyes leaving mine to drink in the rest of me. “That beautiful brain, those naughty lips, those talented hands, and that ass. Yeah, I want that ass.”
Grinning, I look away as I wave him off. “Stop, you’re making me feel weird.”
He scoffs. “I always make you feel weird.”
Ain’t that the damn truth.
Sucking in a deep breath, I look up to look at him. “Anyway…”
He laughs as he holds my gaze. “So, tell me what’s holding you back. Because after my little speech last night, I was sure you’d chase me down, but you being you, you didn’t.”
“I’m not like normal girls,” I point out, and he nods.
“Known that since the moment we met, so tell me something I don’t know.”
I have no clue what to say. Holding his gaze, I shrug and go with the first thing that’s been on my mind. “How do you know it will work?”
“I don’t. I can’t tell the future, but I want to try.”
“But we are two different people, Jayden.”
“Opposites always attract, but I think we are more alike than you think,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets. “We are both strong people, both know what we want in life, and both have parent issues.”
I laugh as I nod. “Yeah, but you are a sensitive, share your feelings kind of guy, while I’m a closed-up bitch—”
“Don’t call yourself that,” he says sharply. “You’re headstrong, mouthy, but you still care about people. You just don’t like to admit that you do. You’re closed off because you haven’t been loved right by a guy or even your mom. It’s only been your dad, and I don’t doubt that he loves you with everything in his heart, but he’s hard on you.”
Looking away, I swallow hard as I look at the stones in the pathway. The only sounds I hear are the sound of my heart and the fountain behind me. I really don’t understand how he gets me, and it really does freak me out. He’s the only person to actually understand me or even try. Seth was only concerned with sex and getting ahead by using me, but Jayden isn’t like that. Yeah, he wants me, but he doesn’t just want to fuck me He wants to know me. He wants to ease my concerns; he actually cares.
So why is this hard?
“You really are a good guy,” I say softly before looking up at him.
His eyes soften as he nods. “Sure, but am I the guy for you?”
Holding his gaze, I say, “I want you to be.”
“Then what’s holding you back from leaning over and kissing me right now?” he says, leaning forward, holding on to the bridge behind him. “Because I’m ready.”
I want to lean toward him, I do. But instead, I ask, “What happens when we go into the NHL?”
“We kick ass,” he says with a little chuckle, but I give him a deadpan look and he shrugs. “Okay? What do you mean?”
“I mean that we’ll be off on different teams, you know that. And I just don’t see this working,” I say because it’s true. No matter how much I want him, it won’t work in the long run. It can’t.
“I don’t see how the possibility of some distance could be a problem, especially when all I’m asking is for you to date me, Baylor. I’m not asking you to marry me.”
Why does my heart skip a beat at the mere thought of that?
“But what if you don’t like me once you get to know me?” I ask then, looking up at him.
“And what if I fall in love with you?” he challenges back. “What if you fall for me? I mean, there are so many what-ifs, why ask them all when we can just let this play out? You can’t control this, Baylor. Stop trying.”
Looking away, I suck in a breath as I look down at the ground. He’s right, I can’t control this, but fuck, I want to. I want to see it all in black and white. I want to know if I’ll get hurt, I want to know if I’ll fall, but I won’t ever know that. Not until I try.
“Baylor,” he says then, and I look up at him, meeting his heated gaze.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to be with me?”
Nodding my head, I say, “Yeah, I do.”
“Then be with me.”
“Easier said than done,” I say softly, and then I give him a small, sad smile. “There is always that chance of getting hurt.”
“But there is also that chance of living a life of regret. You don’t want that, do you?”
“I don’t.”
“Then be with me,” he says, almost like a challenge. “Let me show you what it’s like to date a good guy.”
Still I hesitate. “What about the team?”
“Jesus, you have to have this all planned out, eh?” he teases, and I laugh.
I laugh along with him but not from my heart. It all makes me nervous. “Really though, they can’t know. When I was dating Seth, people treated me differently. Almost like I was with him for special treatment, when really, he was with me to get in with my dad. I’m trying to make friends. I can’t have people thinking that I’m doing this to get ahead, because I’m not.”
“I know that.”
“I know, but I just don’t want anyone to know. Especially my dad, he’d freak his shit.”
He holds my gaze, and I can see that he doesn’t like the idea of it. “I don’t want to hide us.”
“I don’t either but at least until we know it’s real.”
“You mean, until you know,” he challenges back, and I shrug shyly, a grin pulling at my lips. “Because I know.”
Shaking my head, I laugh. “Jeez, you’re so confident.”
“Because I know a sure bet when I see it, and Bay, you’re that.”
I need to correct him, but I just stand there, maybe in shock. And that’s just insane because no one calls me Bay but my daddy, but I’m allowing him? How did that happen? What in the world is going on?