Closer to the Edge
Page 60
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“God, do you have any idea how good it felt standing in the hallway of the hospital, watching you scream in pain, knowing I was the one who made it happen?” she asks with a laugh.
I can’t hide the shocked look on my face and Caroline laughs even harder. “Oh, my God! Did you still think it was my mother? Oh, that’s good. That’s really good.”
She continues laughing and I want to smack the smile right off of her face. Caroline takes a step towards me and presses the nose of the gun into my sternum. “It was so fucking easy taking my mother’s I.D. card, it’s pathetic. She leaves that thing lying around, just begging for someone to steal it. I wasn’t sure exactly how I’d get that Pitocin in you, but my mother graciously informed me that you were coming up to her office for a little chat about the bastard you were carrying and refused to get rid of. My stupid mother wanted to make amends. She thought I was over my infatuation with Cole and she thought it was safe to bring you into the family. I knew damn well she’d offer you tea. That woman loves her fucking tea. She never actually drinks it, but she thinks it makes her look refined and sophisticated when she talks about that damn tea that she has flown in from God knows where. Her assistant brought in a fresh pot right before my father dragged me out of there and all I had to do was squirt just enough into the carafe while the two of them were busy arguing about what to do with me now that I was ‘healthy’.”
Caroline pokes the gun harder into my chest and I wince.
“My parents never really knew how to handle me. They tried therapy when I was younger, but it didn’t make me complacent enough for dear old Mom and Dad. They thought turning me into a zombie with medication would make everything better, but that only worked for a little while. When the meds quit having the desired effect, they had me hospitalized. They didn’t understand that taking me away from Cole made everything worse.”
While she’s busy spilling her secrets, I contemplate wrapping my hands around the muzzle of the gun and trying to wrestle it away from her. It’s clearly not the brightest idea I’ve ever had, but I don’t know what else to do. If she keeps talking, maybe she’ll get distracted enough to loosen her grip on the gun.
“Cole loves you so much. How could you hurt him like this?” I ask softly.
“Hurt HIM? I never hurt him. I tried to help him. He’s the one who hurt me, over and over. He didn’t understand. I had to make him understand.”
I glance down at the gun and quickly back up at Caroline, hoping she didn’t notice. “Understand what? What did you have to make him understand?”
“THAT YOU WERE NOTHING TO HIM! I’m the one he’s supposed to be with. I’m the one he’s supposed to love and build a future with; build a home for. Not you! What the fuck could you ever give him? You can’t even give him children!” she scoffs.
“I can’t give him children because of YOU!” I shout back, no longer worried about keeping calm. “You took everything from me!”
“That’s right, I took it all because it was supposed to be mine!” She screams back. “God, my parents were so fucking stupid, especially my mother. Poor, clueless woman not even realizing that her husband has been fucking around on her for years. He actually let her tell Cole that HE was the crazy one because he thought it would make up for the fact that he was a lying, cheating bastard. He took the heat because he was moving out, leaving all of us to go start a new family somewhere else. He didn’t care if his reputation was shot to hell because he didn’t care about any of us.”
Jesus, lies on top of lies. Who needs enemies when Cole has a family like this?
“She thought she could just sweep this all under the rug, make up a few lies, throw me back in another hospital and I’d go away quietly, just like she’s always done. But it’s not going to work this time. I’m not going to LET it work this time. You got in the way and you turned Cole against me. When he came back from that last mission, I knew it was finally my turn. You and your bastard child were out of the picture and he could finally be mine, but you just keep showing up like a bad fucking penny, don’t you, Olivia?”
Caroline moves the gun away from my chest and I let out the breath I’ve been holding, but my relief is short-lived as she moves the barrel up and presses it into my forehead.
“Any last words before I end your miserable life? I have to say, it’s kind of nice that you’re going to die knowing Cole hates you. I’ve got to hand it to my mother; all those documents forged to look like you took her bribe and had an abortion were sort of genius. At least she did one thing right. Cole will spend the rest of his life disgusted at the very thought of you and I’ll be right here to pick up the pieces.”
I try to hold back the sob but it’s no use. My tears mix with the rain on my cheeks as I squeeze my eyes closed and wait for the explosion of the gun. I find solace in the knowledge that I’ll see my little boy soon, that I’ll be able to hold him and kiss his cheeks and tell him how very sorry I am that he never had a chance at life. I find myself wishing, not for the first time, that Cole could have seen him, even if only for a moment. I wish he understood that I could have never, ever gotten rid of that precious little boy that was a perfect combination of the two of us and represented everything good and beautiful about our love. I know Garrett and Parker will fight for him to know the truth after I’m gone. Parker will show him the nursery that I kept locked away behind a closed door and the photo album documenting the seven months I spent scared to death, but happier than I had ever been in my life. She’ll tell Cole the story of how I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with his dark hair and dimples and my blue eyes and how I never, ever let him go even after they took him from my arms. She’ll tell him that my heart stopped beating for a little while that day and it never really started back up again until Cole came back into my life.
I can’t hide the shocked look on my face and Caroline laughs even harder. “Oh, my God! Did you still think it was my mother? Oh, that’s good. That’s really good.”
She continues laughing and I want to smack the smile right off of her face. Caroline takes a step towards me and presses the nose of the gun into my sternum. “It was so fucking easy taking my mother’s I.D. card, it’s pathetic. She leaves that thing lying around, just begging for someone to steal it. I wasn’t sure exactly how I’d get that Pitocin in you, but my mother graciously informed me that you were coming up to her office for a little chat about the bastard you were carrying and refused to get rid of. My stupid mother wanted to make amends. She thought I was over my infatuation with Cole and she thought it was safe to bring you into the family. I knew damn well she’d offer you tea. That woman loves her fucking tea. She never actually drinks it, but she thinks it makes her look refined and sophisticated when she talks about that damn tea that she has flown in from God knows where. Her assistant brought in a fresh pot right before my father dragged me out of there and all I had to do was squirt just enough into the carafe while the two of them were busy arguing about what to do with me now that I was ‘healthy’.”
Caroline pokes the gun harder into my chest and I wince.
“My parents never really knew how to handle me. They tried therapy when I was younger, but it didn’t make me complacent enough for dear old Mom and Dad. They thought turning me into a zombie with medication would make everything better, but that only worked for a little while. When the meds quit having the desired effect, they had me hospitalized. They didn’t understand that taking me away from Cole made everything worse.”
While she’s busy spilling her secrets, I contemplate wrapping my hands around the muzzle of the gun and trying to wrestle it away from her. It’s clearly not the brightest idea I’ve ever had, but I don’t know what else to do. If she keeps talking, maybe she’ll get distracted enough to loosen her grip on the gun.
“Cole loves you so much. How could you hurt him like this?” I ask softly.
“Hurt HIM? I never hurt him. I tried to help him. He’s the one who hurt me, over and over. He didn’t understand. I had to make him understand.”
I glance down at the gun and quickly back up at Caroline, hoping she didn’t notice. “Understand what? What did you have to make him understand?”
“THAT YOU WERE NOTHING TO HIM! I’m the one he’s supposed to be with. I’m the one he’s supposed to love and build a future with; build a home for. Not you! What the fuck could you ever give him? You can’t even give him children!” she scoffs.
“I can’t give him children because of YOU!” I shout back, no longer worried about keeping calm. “You took everything from me!”
“That’s right, I took it all because it was supposed to be mine!” She screams back. “God, my parents were so fucking stupid, especially my mother. Poor, clueless woman not even realizing that her husband has been fucking around on her for years. He actually let her tell Cole that HE was the crazy one because he thought it would make up for the fact that he was a lying, cheating bastard. He took the heat because he was moving out, leaving all of us to go start a new family somewhere else. He didn’t care if his reputation was shot to hell because he didn’t care about any of us.”
Jesus, lies on top of lies. Who needs enemies when Cole has a family like this?
“She thought she could just sweep this all under the rug, make up a few lies, throw me back in another hospital and I’d go away quietly, just like she’s always done. But it’s not going to work this time. I’m not going to LET it work this time. You got in the way and you turned Cole against me. When he came back from that last mission, I knew it was finally my turn. You and your bastard child were out of the picture and he could finally be mine, but you just keep showing up like a bad fucking penny, don’t you, Olivia?”
Caroline moves the gun away from my chest and I let out the breath I’ve been holding, but my relief is short-lived as she moves the barrel up and presses it into my forehead.
“Any last words before I end your miserable life? I have to say, it’s kind of nice that you’re going to die knowing Cole hates you. I’ve got to hand it to my mother; all those documents forged to look like you took her bribe and had an abortion were sort of genius. At least she did one thing right. Cole will spend the rest of his life disgusted at the very thought of you and I’ll be right here to pick up the pieces.”
I try to hold back the sob but it’s no use. My tears mix with the rain on my cheeks as I squeeze my eyes closed and wait for the explosion of the gun. I find solace in the knowledge that I’ll see my little boy soon, that I’ll be able to hold him and kiss his cheeks and tell him how very sorry I am that he never had a chance at life. I find myself wishing, not for the first time, that Cole could have seen him, even if only for a moment. I wish he understood that I could have never, ever gotten rid of that precious little boy that was a perfect combination of the two of us and represented everything good and beautiful about our love. I know Garrett and Parker will fight for him to know the truth after I’m gone. Parker will show him the nursery that I kept locked away behind a closed door and the photo album documenting the seven months I spent scared to death, but happier than I had ever been in my life. She’ll tell Cole the story of how I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with his dark hair and dimples and my blue eyes and how I never, ever let him go even after they took him from my arms. She’ll tell him that my heart stopped beating for a little while that day and it never really started back up again until Cole came back into my life.
