The heavy weight on Noah was welcomed. Cooper breathed deeply, his thumb making lazy circles on Noah’s chest. He couldn’t believe he was lying here with Coop. Couldn’t believe he’d let the man fuck him.
But then, there wasn’t much he wouldn’t give to Cooper Bradshaw. Saying anything different would be a lie. It had probably always been like that when it came to Coop.
“I gotta get rid of the condom.” A shift from Cooper, and the weight on him was gone. Noah watched as he pulled the rubber off and tossed it in the trashcan by his bed. “I’ll get something to clean us up.”
“I don’t need to be cleaned up.” Noah grabbed Coop’s wrist, and pulled him back to the bed. He came easily, but this time, as he went down beside him, he faced the other way. Noah tried to ignore the ache in his gut.
After a minute, Coop spoke. “Is it strange that I don’t feel weird about this? Don’t get me wrong, there’s that voice that tells me, I slept with another man, but…it was you, so somehow it just feels… Hell, there’s a part of me who just thinks, finally. But then, I don’t get it. I know we’ve gone over this, but I’ve never even thought about another man, Noah. I know we were only kids the last time we saw each other, but even then I didn’t...” He shook his head. “Even then, I damn sure noticed girls. I feel like I should have known then.”
Noah rolled onto his side, Cooper’s words swimming around in his brain, before falling to his chest. He touched the back of Coop’s neck, then let his fingers brush down his spine before traveling up again. “I don’t have an answer for you, man.” He leaned forward and kissed Cooper’s shoulder before letting his fingers take the journey up and down his spine again. “I would give you one if I could. But I can tell you, I’m glad you’re here. Not just because you fucked me crazy, either.”
Like Noah knew he would, that made Cooper roll to his back, and look up at him. He had that cocky grin on his face, the grin that turned Noah on so much. “Put all your other boyfriends to shame. David doesn’t have shit on me.”
Noah winked at him. “That’s cuz David never fucked me.”
This time, it was Noah who tried to pull away, but Cooper who grabbed him, holding him in place. “What do you mean he never screwed you?”
Noah shrugged. “I don’t usually bottom. I did a couple times in the beginning but I’ve always preferred being a top. It didn’t always go over well, but David knew I wouldn’t let him have me.”
Coop’s blue-eyed stare pierced him; seemed to dig deep like he was trying to find out Noah’s secrets. Wasn’t like Noah wouldn’t give them to the man, either. All he had to do was ask. Noah had always told him everything.
Again, Noah tried to look away but Coop grabbed his chin the way he’d done to Cooper earlier. “You didn’t say anything. I just thought… Why didn’t you tell me?”
Noah jerked free of his grasp. “Come on, Coop. You know the answer. If I had told you, if I’d said I wanted to fuck you, would we be here right now? Hell, when I said I wanted us to fuck you got nervous because you thought I wanted your ass. And I do, make no mistake about that.” Noah curled a hand under Cooper. “But I get it. You’re still trying to work your way through being with me at all. You weren’t ready.”
This conversation was getting to be too much. He wanted to pass the hell out like he usually did after sex or get started again. The talking, he couldn’t handle right now.
“And being with me was more important than anything else, huh?” There was laughter in Coop’s voice but seriousness in his eyes. Noah could see him trying to work it out. Trying to play things lightly but also really wanting the answer…and probably fearing it, too. Would it make him run? Too much too fast, or put strings around Cooper Bradshaw, when everyone knew he didn’t want them?
The thing was, Noah wasn’t a runner. Cooper asked, so he was going to give him the truth. “Yes. I’ve already broken my own rules to be with you, Coop. That was just another one. Just like when we were kids, I can’t deny you anything.” He didn’t want to.
“What are you doing to me?” Cooper asked, before pushing a hand through Noah’s hair, leaning forward and kissing him. He pushed forward and Noah let him take control until he was on his back with Cooper on top of him. “Everything about you…I feel it on a level I’ve never had with anyone else. It’s not the way we touch or how you taste or the way we look together. It’s you, Noah.”
