Busy with what he was doing, he ignored it, until Cooper spoke from beside him.
“Finally got your lazy ass up, huh?” he teased.
“Run anyone down with your truck today?” Noah stood up.
“Shit. You got me there. I still can’t believe I hit you.”
Noah shook his head. “What’s done is done. Just don’t ask me to get in a vehicle with you behind the wheel again. I’m not sure I can trust ya.”
Cooper leaned against the car, his almond-shaped eyes trained on Noah.
“What?” Noah asked.
This seemed to pull Coop out of his trance. “Nothin’. Need some help?”
It was on the tip of Noah’s tongue to say no, but he didn’t want to come off as an asshole, so he nodded. He was pretty sure it was the fuel pump, which he could take care of no problem. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure that was the only thing going on here.
They worked on the car for about an hour without talking much. It surprised him, because Cooper wasn’t usually the type to keep quiet for long. He was always in the middle of something, drawing attention to himself. When they were young everyone knew who Cooper was—or they thought they did. They saw the guy who tried to make people laugh. The class clown. Noah remembered a different side of him. Noah remembered the sleepovers when Coop woke up screaming about the fire.
Every time he glanced at Cooper, his eyes would dart away, as though he could read Noah’s train of thought. He knew better than that.
Noah stood and crossed his arms. “Ask.”
“Don’t fuck around, do you?” Cooper asked.
“No, and if I remember correctly, you don’t either, so if you have a question, ask it so we can get over this.”
Cooper sighed. “I feel like a prick for even wondering, but…how? I mean, when we were younger, you weren’t…”
“I was.” Noah replied, before walking away. Cooper followed him and they sat in chairs on Cooper’s porch. “I was thirteen years old. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted or who I was. It’s not like people just made that a choice back then, but I can tell you, it wasn’t the same for me as it was for you when we were stealing dirty magazines. I did it more because I thought I should, instead of wanting to.”
Cooper nodded. “Makes sense…. So, when?”
“Why do you ask?” Noah tossed back.
“Because I’m curious. You’re my friend. Nothing more, nothing less.” But unlike the few other times, Coop’s eyes didn’t leave him. They seemed to be taking Noah in, studying him in a way Noah didn’t understand.
“I guess I was about fifteen. I always knew I felt different, but that’s when I started to realize exactly how. The internet helped. Lots of good porn out there.” Both men laughed, and Noah was glad to see his old friend could still laugh with him.
“Where’d you go, man?”
The change of subject surprised him. Noah hated the tension that tightened his muscles with the question. “Michigan. Same as it always was. One day things were okay, the next they weren’t and we were leaving.” Noah remembered running next door, trying to find Cooper to tell him, but he’d forgotten his friend had left with his aunt.
His uncle Vernon had opened the door and as soon as he did, Noah’s mom was yelling at him to get home. That easily, he’d lost his best friend. That easily, he’d had to move again.
“Tried to write a few times,” Noah added. “My parents sent them for me, but I never heard back. I’m sure you were busy.”
Cooper cocked his head as though that surprised him. “Didn’t get ’em.”
Noah believed him. Partly because it was something so small that there would be no reason to lie, but also because even with the time that had passed, he felt like he still knew Cooper. Coop had never lied to him when they were young.
He’d talked to Noah about things he didn’t share with other people, just like Noah had done with him, even when the words felt like they’d rip a hole through his insides.
“Coop?” Noah held the flashlight in his hand, trying to decide if he wanted to turn it on or not. He probably shouldn’t if Coop was sleepin’.
“What’s up?” Cooper’s voice sounded all groggy.
“Nothin’. Go back to sleep.” Noah rolled over, his sleeping back rustling as he tried to concentrate on the crickets chirping in the distance.
“I can’t go back to sleep now. You already ruined it,” he griped.
“Not my fault you fall asleep so early. We’re supposed to be campin’ out.”
