“It’s just that she reminds of someone I used to know. The resemblance is fucking uncanny.”
“You think you used to know her?”
“No. Not Madison. I don’t know her at all.”
His words confuse me. Before I can say anything, he says, “I’ll be out of town until your fight—got business to take care of—so you probably won’t hear from me until then.”
“Okay.”
“All right, Parker. I’ll see ya.”
I hang up and stare down at my phone.
Something feels off about the way he’d spoken to me. There were no threats in his words, no form of authority.
I call Jackson, who’s already expecting my call.
I give him the details of the meet, leaving out the parts about Maddy. I also leave out the tiny part of me that’s really starting to wonder about DeLuca, about the case, and whether it’s worth it.
But then Jackson thanks me, tells me how much he appreciates everything I’m doing. And just like that, I decide that Jackson and what he wants—what we want—it’s more important than what I’m feeling.
I decide to put him first.
Because he earned it.
And after everything he and his family have done for me, he sure as shit deserves it.
19
KY FOR THE LAST four days, I’ve woken up with Madison sleeping peacefully next to me, and every morning I question the exact same thing. What the hell could be better than this? And the answer is, and probably always will be; nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Her eyes are closed, but the corners of her lips curl. “Are you watching me again?”
“No. How creepy would that be?”
Her eyes snap open. She rolls to her back and eyes me sideways. “Liar.”
I shrug in response, and then lean up on my elbow so I can see her face. She reaches up and fingers my dog tags that are hanging just above her breasts. I do my best to glance at them inconspicuously, but my hand has a mind of its own. A single finger runs a slow line from her chin, down her neck to her chest, where it rises and falls, matching her heavy breaths. I move my finger lower, and lower, waiting for her to tell me stop. But she doesn’t have to because her phone sounds, causing us to pull apart. I get up and start packing my gym gear while she checks her phone. When I return from the shower, she’s still looking down at it, but her eyes seem distant.
“Everything okay?”
She sits up and drops the phone to the side. “Yup.” She nods, and even though I suspect she’s lying, I don’t push her.
I sit on the bed and kiss her. Her phone beeps again but she ignores it. “You want to pick me up from Debbie’s shop when you’re done?”
“Sure. But hold out on getting your frames today, okay? I want to pick some with you.”
Her smile’s huge. “Okay!”
I stare at her a moment longer before I force myself to look away—to walk away. Each day spent together just makes it harder to be without her.
***
Sara: I miss you
Sara: Message me when you get this. I’m worried.
***
I try to be quiet as I walk into Debbie’s Flowers, but Madison hears me anyway. She smiles and continues to water some flowers on the back wall. Picking up a single orange rose on the way over to her, I press my chest against her back and set my hand on her stomach, then lift the rose to her nose.
“Orange?” She laughs. “You know that means lust and desire?”
“Good. That’s what I was going for.”
I kiss her neck, smiling against it when she tilts her head to give me better access.
Debbie clears her throat from behind us.
“Sorry,” I say, turning to her. “She’s kind of irresistible.”
There’s amusement in Debbie’s eyes when she asks, “What are your plans for the rest of the day, Kyler?”
I fake a sigh. “Not a lot, Debbie. Just hanging out with a girl I’m in lust with.”
Madison scoffs.
I continue, “Actually, I do have plans. But it’s a surprise.”
Madison smiles up at me. “Surprise? I like surprises.”
“Yeah? I’m hoping you like what I have to offer a lot more than your stupid mailbox.”
***
We walk back to our building and check my mail. I pray that Jackson’s come good on his word, and smile when my fingers skim the metal of a key.
“What’s that?” Madison asks.
“Jax being fucking awesome, is what it is,” I answer, taking her hand. I lead her down the stairs to the basement-parking garage. I look at the car logo on the key—Ford—and start pressing the keyless entry remote, listening for the sound.
“Oh my god,” she yelps, running toward the car. Only it’s not just any car—it’s a blue Mustang GT convertible—and the roof’s already down.
“Get in!” I shout.
She doesn’t hesitate.
I take my time, pull out my phone and send Jackson a message.
Ky: Holy shit! This is your car?
Jackson: I wish. It came from the impound lot at the station so be careful!
Ky: How the fuck did you manage that?
Jackson: I’m screwing the girl in charge.
Ky: Shut up! You didn’t tell me you were dating.
Jackson: I didn’t say we were dating. I said I was screwing her. There’s a difference, big brother.
Ky: That’s BADASS, Jax.
Jackson: I’m serious about not messing it up.
Ky: You got it. You sly motherfucker you.
Jackson: Enjoy, asshole.
“Where are we going?” she asks, bouncing in her seat as I get in the car.
“Quiet you!”
She glares at me.
I turn the key in the ignition—and then lean back against the headrest—relishing in the purr of the engine. “That’s the sound of over six hundred and fifty horse power, babe.”
Her face forms to a look of disgust. “Are you...” She reaches over to cover my crotch.
Laughing, I smack her hand away.
“You’re hard, aren’t you?” she jokes. “You should have sex with it.”
“I may as well have sex with something,” I retort.
Her jaw drops, her eyes huge. “You—I-I can’t believe you just said that!”
I laugh harder and kiss her quickly. She pulls away, feigning anger. “Another one,” I say.
She rolls her eyes but caves and kisses me again. Then she covers my face with her hand and pushes me away. “It’s not like you’ve ever made a move,” she mumbles.
I don’t respond, because she’s right.
And I won’t push her to do anything until she’s ready to give me all of her.
Anything less and it won’t do us justice.
“Okay, so please don’t get too excited,” I warn. “It’s really not that great. In fact, you’ll probably think it’s dumb. But just pretend like you like it, okay?”
“I’m with you, right? That’s enough.” She places her hand on my leg and squeezes once. “That will always be enough, Ky.”
“You think you used to know her?”
“No. Not Madison. I don’t know her at all.”
His words confuse me. Before I can say anything, he says, “I’ll be out of town until your fight—got business to take care of—so you probably won’t hear from me until then.”
“Okay.”
“All right, Parker. I’ll see ya.”
I hang up and stare down at my phone.
Something feels off about the way he’d spoken to me. There were no threats in his words, no form of authority.
I call Jackson, who’s already expecting my call.
I give him the details of the meet, leaving out the parts about Maddy. I also leave out the tiny part of me that’s really starting to wonder about DeLuca, about the case, and whether it’s worth it.
But then Jackson thanks me, tells me how much he appreciates everything I’m doing. And just like that, I decide that Jackson and what he wants—what we want—it’s more important than what I’m feeling.
I decide to put him first.
Because he earned it.
And after everything he and his family have done for me, he sure as shit deserves it.
19
KY FOR THE LAST four days, I’ve woken up with Madison sleeping peacefully next to me, and every morning I question the exact same thing. What the hell could be better than this? And the answer is, and probably always will be; nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Her eyes are closed, but the corners of her lips curl. “Are you watching me again?”
“No. How creepy would that be?”
Her eyes snap open. She rolls to her back and eyes me sideways. “Liar.”
I shrug in response, and then lean up on my elbow so I can see her face. She reaches up and fingers my dog tags that are hanging just above her breasts. I do my best to glance at them inconspicuously, but my hand has a mind of its own. A single finger runs a slow line from her chin, down her neck to her chest, where it rises and falls, matching her heavy breaths. I move my finger lower, and lower, waiting for her to tell me stop. But she doesn’t have to because her phone sounds, causing us to pull apart. I get up and start packing my gym gear while she checks her phone. When I return from the shower, she’s still looking down at it, but her eyes seem distant.
“Everything okay?”
She sits up and drops the phone to the side. “Yup.” She nods, and even though I suspect she’s lying, I don’t push her.
I sit on the bed and kiss her. Her phone beeps again but she ignores it. “You want to pick me up from Debbie’s shop when you’re done?”
“Sure. But hold out on getting your frames today, okay? I want to pick some with you.”
Her smile’s huge. “Okay!”
I stare at her a moment longer before I force myself to look away—to walk away. Each day spent together just makes it harder to be without her.
***
Sara: I miss you
Sara: Message me when you get this. I’m worried.
***
I try to be quiet as I walk into Debbie’s Flowers, but Madison hears me anyway. She smiles and continues to water some flowers on the back wall. Picking up a single orange rose on the way over to her, I press my chest against her back and set my hand on her stomach, then lift the rose to her nose.
“Orange?” She laughs. “You know that means lust and desire?”
“Good. That’s what I was going for.”
I kiss her neck, smiling against it when she tilts her head to give me better access.
Debbie clears her throat from behind us.
“Sorry,” I say, turning to her. “She’s kind of irresistible.”
There’s amusement in Debbie’s eyes when she asks, “What are your plans for the rest of the day, Kyler?”
I fake a sigh. “Not a lot, Debbie. Just hanging out with a girl I’m in lust with.”
Madison scoffs.
I continue, “Actually, I do have plans. But it’s a surprise.”
Madison smiles up at me. “Surprise? I like surprises.”
“Yeah? I’m hoping you like what I have to offer a lot more than your stupid mailbox.”
***
We walk back to our building and check my mail. I pray that Jackson’s come good on his word, and smile when my fingers skim the metal of a key.
“What’s that?” Madison asks.
“Jax being fucking awesome, is what it is,” I answer, taking her hand. I lead her down the stairs to the basement-parking garage. I look at the car logo on the key—Ford—and start pressing the keyless entry remote, listening for the sound.
“Oh my god,” she yelps, running toward the car. Only it’s not just any car—it’s a blue Mustang GT convertible—and the roof’s already down.
“Get in!” I shout.
She doesn’t hesitate.
I take my time, pull out my phone and send Jackson a message.
Ky: Holy shit! This is your car?
Jackson: I wish. It came from the impound lot at the station so be careful!
Ky: How the fuck did you manage that?
Jackson: I’m screwing the girl in charge.
Ky: Shut up! You didn’t tell me you were dating.
Jackson: I didn’t say we were dating. I said I was screwing her. There’s a difference, big brother.
Ky: That’s BADASS, Jax.
Jackson: I’m serious about not messing it up.
Ky: You got it. You sly motherfucker you.
Jackson: Enjoy, asshole.
“Where are we going?” she asks, bouncing in her seat as I get in the car.
“Quiet you!”
She glares at me.
I turn the key in the ignition—and then lean back against the headrest—relishing in the purr of the engine. “That’s the sound of over six hundred and fifty horse power, babe.”
Her face forms to a look of disgust. “Are you...” She reaches over to cover my crotch.
Laughing, I smack her hand away.
“You’re hard, aren’t you?” she jokes. “You should have sex with it.”
“I may as well have sex with something,” I retort.
Her jaw drops, her eyes huge. “You—I-I can’t believe you just said that!”
I laugh harder and kiss her quickly. She pulls away, feigning anger. “Another one,” I say.
She rolls her eyes but caves and kisses me again. Then she covers my face with her hand and pushes me away. “It’s not like you’ve ever made a move,” she mumbles.
I don’t respond, because she’s right.
And I won’t push her to do anything until she’s ready to give me all of her.
Anything less and it won’t do us justice.
“Okay, so please don’t get too excited,” I warn. “It’s really not that great. In fact, you’ll probably think it’s dumb. But just pretend like you like it, okay?”
“I’m with you, right? That’s enough.” She places her hand on my leg and squeezes once. “That will always be enough, Ky.”
