Coming Undone
Page 83

He laughed. “She’s right a lot, just so you know. She also seems to think there’s something worthy inside you somewhere.”
Raven made a face. “It sucks that she’s so nice.”
“It’s one of my favorite things about her. I love her, Raven. I love her and her kid and I want her to marry me. That’s what’s going to happen, and if you can deal with it and make your peace with it, you’re welcome in our lives. If you can’t, it’s your choice, but I’m going to have to choose Elise and Rennie. I care about you and I don’t want to not have you in my life, but it’s time you grew up and accepted reality.”
She cocked her head and looked up at him. “I wish things had been different. I blew it between us.”
He shook his head. “You act like it was just yesterday. It was years ago. We can still be friends, just like we were before, only without the sex, Elise would frown on that.”
“She might be able to take me. She’s little and all perfect and shit, but she’s got a mean streak. I don’t want to lose you. You’re a big part of my life. So I guess I can make nice with her and not flip out in front of her kid too. That was out of line. I know it was.”
“My kid too. I want to adopt her. And I want you in my life too.” He hugged her, kissing her cheek.
It got quiet, and when he looked around to see what had happened, everyone was looking toward the door, where Elise stood, a horrified look on her face. She must have seen the last bit between him and Raven.
“Elise, wait!” he called out, but she turned, her movements jerky and uncoordinated as she tried to hurry away. That’s when he knew for sure she loved him back. Seeing his normally ridiculously graceful Elise reduced to that sort of clumsiness shocked him even as he rejoiced.
Elise knew her face was red, knew her tears would smear her makeup, and yet she couldn’t seem to care. She needed to be away, needed to wash away the shame and humiliation of coming to tell a man she loved him and walking in to see him tell another woman he wanted her in his life as he hugged her.
“Wait, damn you, Elise!” He ran up behind her and she braced for his touch. But he didn’t touch her. Instead he ran in front of her and dropped to his knees, bringing her to a surprised halt.
“Damn me? You’re joking right? Your hands are all over another woman and you dare to say that to me?” Tears thickened her voice; she knew she’d feel better if she kicked him extra hard. She stifled the desire though. For now.
“It wasn’t at all what you think. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you, Elise. I was telling Raven that. She was apologizing for how she’d been. I was telling her I loved you and that I was glad she could be part of my life because she accepted that.”
“You love me?” she squeaked, and he grinned in response.
“How can you not have known that before now? I love you. I love you. I’ve loved you since before the block party earlier this year. I wanted all this legal stuff out of the way before I told you. I knew you needed to keep your focus on Rennie.”
She blinked as her world turned on its ear.
“Marry me.”
“Marry?” The squeak again. “Why not just dating? You can sleep over now.”
He laughed. “That’s so not the response I imagined. First, can we—?”
“I love you too. I’ve loved you since New Year’s when you kissed me at midnight, and I’ve wanted to tell you so many times but I didn’t want to spoil our deal. I knew you didn’t want love and forever and all that. I came here today to tell you that and to ask you to do the tattoo, the big one, mark the occasion.”
He stood and pulled her to him. Her feet left the ground and she wrapped her legs around him, holding on tight as he kissed her silly.
“Okay, now that we’ve established how stupid we’ve both been in not just telling each other our feelings earlier, let’s get back to marriage. I can’t just date you. I’ve been dating you. I need to be married to the mother of my child. I know you and Rennie are a package deal. Marry me. I love that kid. I want to make a home with you and Rennie. I want forever and I want it with you.”
The tears came freely now, but they were good tears.
“Yes. Yes, I want to marry you. But you know Rennie has a part in this too. She’s my first priority and I want to be sure this is okay with her.” She loved that he loved Rennie too, but this was important; his understanding that Rennie needed to be an active participant in this, this most important decision, was paramount.
“I made some reservations out at the coast for this weekend. I thought we could all go out there, play in the sand. It’s a twobedroom suite. The weather is supposed to be nice. What do you say?”
“I say I’m lucky.” She held on, held on until she knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
“And, um, I’d really like to adopt Rennie. Make her mine officially. If that’s okay with you.”
The tears started again as she threw her arms around his neck, tightening her legs. Her tears had morphed into sobs, and he worried until she began kissing his face and lips. “Are you for real? You want to be her dad?”
He laughed. “Good thing you’re so light, because I’m not letting you go anytime soon. Yes, baby, yes, I love you and I love Rennie. I already love her like she was my own. I want us to be a family, I want her to know I think of her as my daughter. We all belong to each other, and I just thought it would be the best way to go about it. If you’re uncomfortable, we can wait.”