Her gasp echoes against the walls. Even the noises from outside the door of the busy restaurant seem to mute themselves. It’s just us in here.
These are the moments you look back on when you’re knocking on Death’s door and smile. These are the moments when you can just feel in your gut that something life changing is happening.
And I thank Christ that I’m sober enough to remember this.
“That’s right, Chelcie. You. Do you really want to know how I got scratched up? It’s because the last woman I had, unfortunately, didn’t like it when I said your name when I came. I can’t change the past, and Lord knows I’m no monk, but I’m done. Done with the drinking, the other women, and I’m damn sure done fighting this attraction we’ve both been dancing around for three long months.”
She gasps, and using it to my advantage, I crash my lips down to hers.
Feeling her lips against mine—finally—is like finding water after years of a drought. It feels like coming home. It feels like I just got shocked with the highest voltage of electricity. The tingles shoot all the way from where our lips are joined straight to my dick.
Her hands shoot up to my sides, tightly fisting my shirt. I run my hands up her arms, curl them around her neck, and tilt her head to give me a better angle. To feast deeply on her lips. When I lick her plump lips and they open on a moan, I feel her melt into me. I stand there and pour every bit of lust I’ve had building into this kiss. Every promise of what is to come.
We stand there, ignoring the world around us while I take her in a kiss so powerful I have to lock my knees to keep from buckling. Damn, the things this woman does to my body.
I vaguely hear the pounding against the door. Between the wet sounds of our mouths mating together and our joined moans, it’s hard to focus on anything else. When they get louder, I feel her stiffen under my hands and I know the moment has been ruined. I pull back, not removing my hands from her neck, and rest my forehead against hers. My eyes closed while I try to calm the inferno that’s taken over my system.
I don’t even have a second to go from fucking her lips with mine before she rips herself from my hold. Reaching out, I grab the counter and steady myself before looking up at unexpected anger.
“How dare you,” she says coarsely. “I refuse to be another notch on your belt, Ash. You aren’t hurting for attention, obviously, and I see the girls you sleep with. I know I’m not as tall as they are or as skinny. Lord knows you made it perfectly clear just how chubby you see me. You had a clear shot at someone easy not even ten minutes ago. Don’t you dare come at me with your…that… Fuck! I don’t even know how to get this through to you. You hurt me, Asher. You hurt me, and I don’t know if I can stop thinking about it long enough to be nice to you. So yeah, I have been avoiding you. You don’t have to do me any favors by pretending to be into the chubby, lonely girl, okay?”
“Chelcie, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I knew I had been spending more time drunk than awake lately, but until this moment, I didn’t realize just how bad it had become. Ashamed isn’t a strong enough word for how I feel right now.
“I wouldn’t imagine that you do, Ash. That’s what happens when you wake up drunk and then work your hardest to get even drunker. You know I thought we were at least getting to the point of friendship, but you don’t sit there and insult your friends.”
The pounding on the door gets louder while we just stand there. Knowing I can’t let her leave without at least trying to explain myself, I turn and throw the lock before yanking the door open.
“Chill the fuck out,” I spit at the shocked-faced ladies waiting to get inside the bathroom.
It’s not going to be long before they have Heavy himself coming to see what the issue is, so I turn back to Chelcie and work hard to get the right words together.
“Fuck!” Her eyes widen at the brutal force I spat that word out with. “Sunshine, I’m sorry. I wish I could remember what I did to make you look at me like that.” I move closer, pulling her into my body so that I can feel her against my skin again. “I’m fucking sorry.”
She looks at me, her expression screaming disappointment. “You might be sorry now, Asher, but how do I know that the next time you’re drinking you aren’t just going to do it again? I’m not at a place in my life where I can afford to not know which version of Asher Cooper I’m dealing with.”
I go to open my mouth and reply, but she quickly stops me. Her lips press against mine with the softest kiss. I take a deep breath in and hold it, feeling her against me, smelling her desire, but knowing that, if I try to do anything, I’m just going to prove to her that all I want is to be between her thighs.
“You can’t treat me like one of your groupies, Ash. That hurt. But hearing you basically call me the chubby girl that you would do if you had to… Well, that sliced me deep and I just can’t open that back up right now.”
She kisses me again before pulling herself out of my shocked arms and disappearing through the door. Meanwhile, I just stand there wondering what to do next.
Chapter 9 – Chelcie
Monday morning came way too quickly. I’ve been in a pissed-off, somewhat depressed fog since my run-in with Asher. I spent the weekend in bed vegging on every single thing I could find that could fall into the junk food category. Ice cream, candy, peanuts, pickles… Okay, maybe pickles aren’t junk food, but you tell that to my little bean.
I’ve been lucky so far. I’m just about to hit the halfway mark of my pregnancy and my bump is finally starting to look more like I have a baby in there and not ten courses of Chinese takeout. Every time I look in the mirror and see the evidence of the life growing within my body, I’m overcome with a love I’ve never known was possible. That is of course quickly followed by a crying hormonal fit for a good hour.
Between the crying and the weird depression jags, odd food cravings, and unbelievable sex drive—minus the sex—I feel like my body has a mind of its own. I go from elation to fear in two-point-five seconds. And at the heels of all of that is guilt. Guilt because I still haven’t talked to Asher.
At first, I didn’t want to tell him because I didn’t know him. Then, after I got to know him and realized my attraction to him, I was more scared to tell him than anything. What if he thinks I was just another one of Coop’s whores? Or what if he thinks I did this on purpose? Irrational—that’s all it was. Because when you strip all the bullshit away, he deserves to know and I am a huge bitch for not telling him.
These are the moments you look back on when you’re knocking on Death’s door and smile. These are the moments when you can just feel in your gut that something life changing is happening.
And I thank Christ that I’m sober enough to remember this.
“That’s right, Chelcie. You. Do you really want to know how I got scratched up? It’s because the last woman I had, unfortunately, didn’t like it when I said your name when I came. I can’t change the past, and Lord knows I’m no monk, but I’m done. Done with the drinking, the other women, and I’m damn sure done fighting this attraction we’ve both been dancing around for three long months.”
She gasps, and using it to my advantage, I crash my lips down to hers.
Feeling her lips against mine—finally—is like finding water after years of a drought. It feels like coming home. It feels like I just got shocked with the highest voltage of electricity. The tingles shoot all the way from where our lips are joined straight to my dick.
Her hands shoot up to my sides, tightly fisting my shirt. I run my hands up her arms, curl them around her neck, and tilt her head to give me a better angle. To feast deeply on her lips. When I lick her plump lips and they open on a moan, I feel her melt into me. I stand there and pour every bit of lust I’ve had building into this kiss. Every promise of what is to come.
We stand there, ignoring the world around us while I take her in a kiss so powerful I have to lock my knees to keep from buckling. Damn, the things this woman does to my body.
I vaguely hear the pounding against the door. Between the wet sounds of our mouths mating together and our joined moans, it’s hard to focus on anything else. When they get louder, I feel her stiffen under my hands and I know the moment has been ruined. I pull back, not removing my hands from her neck, and rest my forehead against hers. My eyes closed while I try to calm the inferno that’s taken over my system.
I don’t even have a second to go from fucking her lips with mine before she rips herself from my hold. Reaching out, I grab the counter and steady myself before looking up at unexpected anger.
“How dare you,” she says coarsely. “I refuse to be another notch on your belt, Ash. You aren’t hurting for attention, obviously, and I see the girls you sleep with. I know I’m not as tall as they are or as skinny. Lord knows you made it perfectly clear just how chubby you see me. You had a clear shot at someone easy not even ten minutes ago. Don’t you dare come at me with your…that… Fuck! I don’t even know how to get this through to you. You hurt me, Asher. You hurt me, and I don’t know if I can stop thinking about it long enough to be nice to you. So yeah, I have been avoiding you. You don’t have to do me any favors by pretending to be into the chubby, lonely girl, okay?”
“Chelcie, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I knew I had been spending more time drunk than awake lately, but until this moment, I didn’t realize just how bad it had become. Ashamed isn’t a strong enough word for how I feel right now.
“I wouldn’t imagine that you do, Ash. That’s what happens when you wake up drunk and then work your hardest to get even drunker. You know I thought we were at least getting to the point of friendship, but you don’t sit there and insult your friends.”
The pounding on the door gets louder while we just stand there. Knowing I can’t let her leave without at least trying to explain myself, I turn and throw the lock before yanking the door open.
“Chill the fuck out,” I spit at the shocked-faced ladies waiting to get inside the bathroom.
It’s not going to be long before they have Heavy himself coming to see what the issue is, so I turn back to Chelcie and work hard to get the right words together.
“Fuck!” Her eyes widen at the brutal force I spat that word out with. “Sunshine, I’m sorry. I wish I could remember what I did to make you look at me like that.” I move closer, pulling her into my body so that I can feel her against my skin again. “I’m fucking sorry.”
She looks at me, her expression screaming disappointment. “You might be sorry now, Asher, but how do I know that the next time you’re drinking you aren’t just going to do it again? I’m not at a place in my life where I can afford to not know which version of Asher Cooper I’m dealing with.”
I go to open my mouth and reply, but she quickly stops me. Her lips press against mine with the softest kiss. I take a deep breath in and hold it, feeling her against me, smelling her desire, but knowing that, if I try to do anything, I’m just going to prove to her that all I want is to be between her thighs.
“You can’t treat me like one of your groupies, Ash. That hurt. But hearing you basically call me the chubby girl that you would do if you had to… Well, that sliced me deep and I just can’t open that back up right now.”
She kisses me again before pulling herself out of my shocked arms and disappearing through the door. Meanwhile, I just stand there wondering what to do next.
Chapter 9 – Chelcie
Monday morning came way too quickly. I’ve been in a pissed-off, somewhat depressed fog since my run-in with Asher. I spent the weekend in bed vegging on every single thing I could find that could fall into the junk food category. Ice cream, candy, peanuts, pickles… Okay, maybe pickles aren’t junk food, but you tell that to my little bean.
I’ve been lucky so far. I’m just about to hit the halfway mark of my pregnancy and my bump is finally starting to look more like I have a baby in there and not ten courses of Chinese takeout. Every time I look in the mirror and see the evidence of the life growing within my body, I’m overcome with a love I’ve never known was possible. That is of course quickly followed by a crying hormonal fit for a good hour.
Between the crying and the weird depression jags, odd food cravings, and unbelievable sex drive—minus the sex—I feel like my body has a mind of its own. I go from elation to fear in two-point-five seconds. And at the heels of all of that is guilt. Guilt because I still haven’t talked to Asher.
At first, I didn’t want to tell him because I didn’t know him. Then, after I got to know him and realized my attraction to him, I was more scared to tell him than anything. What if he thinks I was just another one of Coop’s whores? Or what if he thinks I did this on purpose? Irrational—that’s all it was. Because when you strip all the bullshit away, he deserves to know and I am a huge bitch for not telling him.
