“Sunshine, I saw your distress. I saw how much that letter shook you, and it killed me that something I’m doing could be the cause of your fear.”
I turn, rolling onto my other side and grabbing his hand to hold it between both of mine. I admire how strong his long fingers are, just like he is. “Of course I was afraid, Asher. That’s the normal reaction that anyone would feel if they were in the same position. That didn’t mean that I needed you to protect me from knowing what was happening. I want to be that person you confide in. I want to help you, Asher.”
“You know I never stopped looking into Dominic, right?”
I nod my head. I do in fact know how much he’s researched his target. I helped him for months, compiling everything we could find on that scumbag.
“Yeah, I didn’t think you stopped. I had hoped, but I think deep down I knew you hadn’t given up.”
He closes his eyes tight, moving his forehead in that way he does so that it’s resting against mine. His harsh breathing is dancing with each one of my calm breaths.
“I have enough intel on him now that it wouldn’t take much for me to end this tomorrow. I know where he is at almost every second thanks to a tracking device I was able to slip under his car. When he leaves his compound, I know. I’ve been following his every move for the last eight days.”
His admission shocks me to the core. He’s been putting himself in danger. Recklessly kicking his thirst for vengeance into overdrive because of one stupid letter.
“Oh, baby…no,” I plead, shaking my head rapidly against his.
“I have to, Chelcie. I don’t know any other way to explain it. I feel like if I don’t take care of him that Coop will never rest in peace.”
“Oh you silly, silly man.”
He draws back as if I’ve slapped him. I quickly finish before he gets the wrong impression.
“Your brother knew exactly what he was doing that day. I might not have seen it happen with my own eyes, but I know what kind of man he was—what kind of man you taught him to be—well enough to know that he didn’t act without weighing all his options. It was a grim situation at any angle you look at it.” I take a deep breath and let go of his hand so that I can hold his face framed in my palms. I need to be able to look him in the eyes when I say this. He needs to see the truth within my own. “Don’t you see it, Ash? You’re the one who taught him to be the man he was. You gave him every single tool he needed in order to become that man. He stepped in front of that bullet because he was brave and selfless. He did it so that he could save someone else, knowing damn well that, if something went wrong, he was sacrificing his own life. You can’t keep beating yourself up because you weren’t there to protect him. I see you, baby. I know you think this misguided quest of vengeance is what Coop would want, but if you really believe that—really believe in your heart that he wanted that…” I pause to collect my thoughts when I see his eyes flash. “If you really believe that, baby, then you didn’t know him at all.”
His body is strung so tight right now that I know this is impossibly hard for him to hear, but I need him to hear it. I need him to hear it and I pray that he understands.
“This quest to right a wrong, the vengeance that you’re seeking? He wouldn’t want that. You have to start living your life for the future that you’re alive for, not the past that you’re willing to die for.”
His eyes close slowly, one lone tear falling down his face, and I quickly sweep it away with my thumb.
“I’m so close, Sunshine. I’m so close to ending it all. So close to ending this pain. I don’t know if I can stop.” His hushed words break my heart. I ache for him.
“You can, baby. You know you can. Talk to me. Why do you think that ending this monster’s life would be worse than turning all of your evidence over to the right channels and making sure that he really pays? Don’t you think a life behind bars is far worse than a quick death? You really need to think about that, Asher, because by you being willing to continue down this path means that you’re willing to put everything we’ve been building in jeopardy. If something goes wrong, you could be the one who ends up behind bars. Or worse, you could end up dead, and I’m telling you right now—I don’t think I would survive that loss. I don’t want to have to explain to little Zac why his daddy isn’t here.” It’s taking every ounce of control that I possess not to break down right now. I keep my voice steady and my words strong, knowing that, if I break down, he might not hear I word I say.
“Zac?” he questions with a furrow of his thick brows.
“Our son, Asher. Zachariah Asher Cooper, but I’ve been calling him Zac for short.” I give him a small smile and watch in fascination as a million emotions filter through his mind on his face.
My big, strong man is falling apart, and I do the only thing I know to do—I pull him closer and drop my forehead to his. I rub his back as he gasps rapidly, trying to calm the war of emotions inside him down. He doesn’t speak. He does his best at keeping it locked tight, but a few broken sobs break through his lips. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying with him. I just run my fingers through his hair and down his back, holding him tight within my arms. Giving him back the strength he’s been giving me since the day I met him.
After a long time of heavy breathing and a few more sobs, I hear him clear his throat. He doesn’t look up, but I know he’s about to address me, so I mentally hold on in preparation for what is to come.
“I’ll talk to the guys tomorrow. I’ll give them all the intel I have, and together, we will decide what the best course is. I’m not giving you any promises, Sunshine, but I will see what they think, and if they agree with you, then I’ll call a good friend of mine with the DEA and give them everything. For Coop—and for you…and Zac. For all of us. I’ll make sure that I do the right thing,” he sighs. “I want you to be there with me so that you know everything that’s going on, okay?”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. His arms come around me and we hold each other, soaking up the love we have and the knowledge that, from now on—no questions—we’re in this together.
Chapter 27 – Asher
Damn, it’s been one crazy week. I’ve been running after the same skip—three different states—and finally, I’ve caught up to the slimy bastard. Of all the places I have to end the chase, it has to be a strip club. After almost starting a brawl in the club, I finally manage to secure the bastard and make my long drive home.
I turn, rolling onto my other side and grabbing his hand to hold it between both of mine. I admire how strong his long fingers are, just like he is. “Of course I was afraid, Asher. That’s the normal reaction that anyone would feel if they were in the same position. That didn’t mean that I needed you to protect me from knowing what was happening. I want to be that person you confide in. I want to help you, Asher.”
“You know I never stopped looking into Dominic, right?”
I nod my head. I do in fact know how much he’s researched his target. I helped him for months, compiling everything we could find on that scumbag.
“Yeah, I didn’t think you stopped. I had hoped, but I think deep down I knew you hadn’t given up.”
He closes his eyes tight, moving his forehead in that way he does so that it’s resting against mine. His harsh breathing is dancing with each one of my calm breaths.
“I have enough intel on him now that it wouldn’t take much for me to end this tomorrow. I know where he is at almost every second thanks to a tracking device I was able to slip under his car. When he leaves his compound, I know. I’ve been following his every move for the last eight days.”
His admission shocks me to the core. He’s been putting himself in danger. Recklessly kicking his thirst for vengeance into overdrive because of one stupid letter.
“Oh, baby…no,” I plead, shaking my head rapidly against his.
“I have to, Chelcie. I don’t know any other way to explain it. I feel like if I don’t take care of him that Coop will never rest in peace.”
“Oh you silly, silly man.”
He draws back as if I’ve slapped him. I quickly finish before he gets the wrong impression.
“Your brother knew exactly what he was doing that day. I might not have seen it happen with my own eyes, but I know what kind of man he was—what kind of man you taught him to be—well enough to know that he didn’t act without weighing all his options. It was a grim situation at any angle you look at it.” I take a deep breath and let go of his hand so that I can hold his face framed in my palms. I need to be able to look him in the eyes when I say this. He needs to see the truth within my own. “Don’t you see it, Ash? You’re the one who taught him to be the man he was. You gave him every single tool he needed in order to become that man. He stepped in front of that bullet because he was brave and selfless. He did it so that he could save someone else, knowing damn well that, if something went wrong, he was sacrificing his own life. You can’t keep beating yourself up because you weren’t there to protect him. I see you, baby. I know you think this misguided quest of vengeance is what Coop would want, but if you really believe that—really believe in your heart that he wanted that…” I pause to collect my thoughts when I see his eyes flash. “If you really believe that, baby, then you didn’t know him at all.”
His body is strung so tight right now that I know this is impossibly hard for him to hear, but I need him to hear it. I need him to hear it and I pray that he understands.
“This quest to right a wrong, the vengeance that you’re seeking? He wouldn’t want that. You have to start living your life for the future that you’re alive for, not the past that you’re willing to die for.”
His eyes close slowly, one lone tear falling down his face, and I quickly sweep it away with my thumb.
“I’m so close, Sunshine. I’m so close to ending it all. So close to ending this pain. I don’t know if I can stop.” His hushed words break my heart. I ache for him.
“You can, baby. You know you can. Talk to me. Why do you think that ending this monster’s life would be worse than turning all of your evidence over to the right channels and making sure that he really pays? Don’t you think a life behind bars is far worse than a quick death? You really need to think about that, Asher, because by you being willing to continue down this path means that you’re willing to put everything we’ve been building in jeopardy. If something goes wrong, you could be the one who ends up behind bars. Or worse, you could end up dead, and I’m telling you right now—I don’t think I would survive that loss. I don’t want to have to explain to little Zac why his daddy isn’t here.” It’s taking every ounce of control that I possess not to break down right now. I keep my voice steady and my words strong, knowing that, if I break down, he might not hear I word I say.
“Zac?” he questions with a furrow of his thick brows.
“Our son, Asher. Zachariah Asher Cooper, but I’ve been calling him Zac for short.” I give him a small smile and watch in fascination as a million emotions filter through his mind on his face.
My big, strong man is falling apart, and I do the only thing I know to do—I pull him closer and drop my forehead to his. I rub his back as he gasps rapidly, trying to calm the war of emotions inside him down. He doesn’t speak. He does his best at keeping it locked tight, but a few broken sobs break through his lips. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying with him. I just run my fingers through his hair and down his back, holding him tight within my arms. Giving him back the strength he’s been giving me since the day I met him.
After a long time of heavy breathing and a few more sobs, I hear him clear his throat. He doesn’t look up, but I know he’s about to address me, so I mentally hold on in preparation for what is to come.
“I’ll talk to the guys tomorrow. I’ll give them all the intel I have, and together, we will decide what the best course is. I’m not giving you any promises, Sunshine, but I will see what they think, and if they agree with you, then I’ll call a good friend of mine with the DEA and give them everything. For Coop—and for you…and Zac. For all of us. I’ll make sure that I do the right thing,” he sighs. “I want you to be there with me so that you know everything that’s going on, okay?”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. His arms come around me and we hold each other, soaking up the love we have and the knowledge that, from now on—no questions—we’re in this together.
Chapter 27 – Asher
Damn, it’s been one crazy week. I’ve been running after the same skip—three different states—and finally, I’ve caught up to the slimy bastard. Of all the places I have to end the chase, it has to be a strip club. After almost starting a brawl in the club, I finally manage to secure the bastard and make my long drive home.
