And if he had darkness closing in on him, then I’ve been stuck in a black fucking hole. I know darkness. It’s my best fucking friend. It’s tainted every inch of my soul.
And that’s why I am terrified to let Emmy in. To risk my angel becoming tainted with the shit that swirls around me.
She’s pureness. She’s the definition of everything I don’t deserve.
I snag a beer out of the fridge and go sit in the living room. Silent as always. Listening to all of the people I care about laugh and love. Meanwhile, I keep my mouth shut, afraid that, if I let my guard down—if I let them in—I will destroy them all.
I hear Asher announce from where he’s standing in the kitchen that he and Chelcie will be getting married this week. Good for them. Chelcie looks at me and gives me a wink. I shake my head and look away. Right into the steaming-mad eyes of Emersyn Rose Keeze. I hold her gaze and wait to see what she will do next.
“You’re fucking unbelievable,” she mumbles, almost low enough that I don’t catch it.
And like the idiot I am, I egg her on. “What was that, Em?”
Her eyes flash. Her porcelain skin turns pink, and she jumps up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table. The chair falls to the floor in a loud clatter that draws the attention of the room.
Fucking great.
She storms over to me, grabs my beer from my hand, and takes a large pull before handing it back to me.
“Look at you. Sitting there silent as always. You’re in a room full of people who love each other. People who have fought their demons in order to be together. They had the strength to battle anything that stood in their way. The courage to push away from uncertainty of the unknown. And what does Maddox Locke do? He sits back and gives everyone else around him advice on how to make that happen! He fights for them, but he refuses to fight for himself. FOR ME! Well guess what, buddy? I’m sick of it. I love you FOR you. I never gave a damn about your past, those secrets you hide so deep. I’ve been willing to fight for you. Battle those demons that shake your doors at night. And while I’m at it, I might as well just go for broke, right?” She laughs, and it sounds so empty. “I never gave a damn about you having one leg. You think you’re slick hiding it, but I see you! I didn’t love you for whatever limbs you have or don’t have. I want you for your heart, and I won’t settle for anything less.”
She stomps over to Asher and Chelcie, gives them a hug, and apologizes for ruining their night—to which, of course, they assure her that she didn’t. The whole time she’s talking to them, Asher is throwing silent daggers at me with his eyes.
I’m left there, my jaw slack, and a million doubts running through my mind. And for the first time in too many years, that small flame of hope starts to flicker.
Epilogue – Chelcie
Ugh. I feel terrible. My back has been killing me all day. Of course it doesn’t help that I went crazy pregnant woman and cleaned every inch of the house I could reach yesterday.
My due date has come…and gone. I’m so beyond ready to meet our baby that my anxiety is making me crazy. Asher is just as bad. He’s been calling me every hour, on the hour, for the last three days. Ever since I passed my due date, it would seem that I transferred over my basket-case persona to him.
And it is driving me nuts.
So here I am on this perfectly sunny day, surprising my husband with lunch at work. He hasn’t been terribly busy lately, just going in for a few hours a day. With him and Maddox working the computers and technical team at Corps Security, they’ve been able to ease the workload considerably.
I pull myself out of my brand-new Audi, a wedding present from Asher, and hike up my pants in a move that I’m sure is sexy as hell. I pull at the edges of my shirt to make sure it’s covering my stomach before I reach in the car and grab the bag of lunch I picked up from Asher’s favorite Mexican restaurant. The smell of it has almost caused me to wreck the damn car a few times on the way over.
After making sure I have everything, I waddle over to the sidewalk, my flip-flops slapping loudly against the pavement. Seeing Sway in the window has me lifting my arm and waving wildly. The second I go to put my arm down, I feel this tremendous pain in my stomach. Sway cocks his head at me, clearly puzzled with my actions. I look down from his eyes and try to figure out what just happened.
Sway bursts through the door to his salon about the same time that I realize that my water just broke. Of all places to have my water break, it’s the damn golden sidewalk. I love this sidewalk. Now all I’m going to think about is my pregnancy water leaking out of my vagina.
“Sway! My vagina broke the happiness!” I cry when he runs over. He grabs the food and my purse before helping me walk the few steps left to take me inside Corps Security. “Sway!” I pant. “Are you listening to me? My vagina broke it!”
Of course that would be the moment that we step through the door to CS. And of course the lobby wouldn’t be empty.
“Hey, baby,” I gasp. I grab my tight stomach when new wave of pain washes over me. Holy shit, this hurts.
“Sunshine? Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay! I brought you Mexican and my vagina broke the happiness! Do I look okay?” I have to take a huge gulp of air when I feel another sharp pain rock through my stomach. “They aren’t supposed to be coming this fast, baby,” I whine.
His eyes widen when the meaning behind my words becomes clear. He smiles for a second before I whimper when my stomach starts to tighten again.
“Davey, sugar pie, I think you need to get those sexy fingers of yours dancing over to the phone. It’s looks like there’s a baby on the way.”
That snaps Asher into motion. He tosses the file he was looking at over to Davey, rushing over to my side and helping Sway move me deeper into the lobby. We are just about the pass the reception desk when I let out a brutal scream and my body goes limp.
“Let’s lay her down here, all right, darling?” Sway asks, calm as can be.
I look into Asher’s eyes and see the fear leering behind his excitement. I try to reassure him that I’m okay—that this is normal—but when I open my mouth, the only thing that comes out is a scream.
“Dil, baby,” Davey calls from where he is standing, talking to what I assume is the 911 operator.
“Go ahead, doll. You just tell me what I need to do,” Sway calls over his shoulder.
I can hear Davey responding to him, but I’m lost to the pain that is ripping though my body. I keep my eyes glued to Asher’s. He strokes my face, kissing my hand when it clamps down on his own, and between the contractions that are killing me, he presses his forehead against mine and whispers how much he loves me.
And that’s why I am terrified to let Emmy in. To risk my angel becoming tainted with the shit that swirls around me.
She’s pureness. She’s the definition of everything I don’t deserve.
I snag a beer out of the fridge and go sit in the living room. Silent as always. Listening to all of the people I care about laugh and love. Meanwhile, I keep my mouth shut, afraid that, if I let my guard down—if I let them in—I will destroy them all.
I hear Asher announce from where he’s standing in the kitchen that he and Chelcie will be getting married this week. Good for them. Chelcie looks at me and gives me a wink. I shake my head and look away. Right into the steaming-mad eyes of Emersyn Rose Keeze. I hold her gaze and wait to see what she will do next.
“You’re fucking unbelievable,” she mumbles, almost low enough that I don’t catch it.
And like the idiot I am, I egg her on. “What was that, Em?”
Her eyes flash. Her porcelain skin turns pink, and she jumps up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table. The chair falls to the floor in a loud clatter that draws the attention of the room.
Fucking great.
She storms over to me, grabs my beer from my hand, and takes a large pull before handing it back to me.
“Look at you. Sitting there silent as always. You’re in a room full of people who love each other. People who have fought their demons in order to be together. They had the strength to battle anything that stood in their way. The courage to push away from uncertainty of the unknown. And what does Maddox Locke do? He sits back and gives everyone else around him advice on how to make that happen! He fights for them, but he refuses to fight for himself. FOR ME! Well guess what, buddy? I’m sick of it. I love you FOR you. I never gave a damn about your past, those secrets you hide so deep. I’ve been willing to fight for you. Battle those demons that shake your doors at night. And while I’m at it, I might as well just go for broke, right?” She laughs, and it sounds so empty. “I never gave a damn about you having one leg. You think you’re slick hiding it, but I see you! I didn’t love you for whatever limbs you have or don’t have. I want you for your heart, and I won’t settle for anything less.”
She stomps over to Asher and Chelcie, gives them a hug, and apologizes for ruining their night—to which, of course, they assure her that she didn’t. The whole time she’s talking to them, Asher is throwing silent daggers at me with his eyes.
I’m left there, my jaw slack, and a million doubts running through my mind. And for the first time in too many years, that small flame of hope starts to flicker.
Epilogue – Chelcie
Ugh. I feel terrible. My back has been killing me all day. Of course it doesn’t help that I went crazy pregnant woman and cleaned every inch of the house I could reach yesterday.
My due date has come…and gone. I’m so beyond ready to meet our baby that my anxiety is making me crazy. Asher is just as bad. He’s been calling me every hour, on the hour, for the last three days. Ever since I passed my due date, it would seem that I transferred over my basket-case persona to him.
And it is driving me nuts.
So here I am on this perfectly sunny day, surprising my husband with lunch at work. He hasn’t been terribly busy lately, just going in for a few hours a day. With him and Maddox working the computers and technical team at Corps Security, they’ve been able to ease the workload considerably.
I pull myself out of my brand-new Audi, a wedding present from Asher, and hike up my pants in a move that I’m sure is sexy as hell. I pull at the edges of my shirt to make sure it’s covering my stomach before I reach in the car and grab the bag of lunch I picked up from Asher’s favorite Mexican restaurant. The smell of it has almost caused me to wreck the damn car a few times on the way over.
After making sure I have everything, I waddle over to the sidewalk, my flip-flops slapping loudly against the pavement. Seeing Sway in the window has me lifting my arm and waving wildly. The second I go to put my arm down, I feel this tremendous pain in my stomach. Sway cocks his head at me, clearly puzzled with my actions. I look down from his eyes and try to figure out what just happened.
Sway bursts through the door to his salon about the same time that I realize that my water just broke. Of all places to have my water break, it’s the damn golden sidewalk. I love this sidewalk. Now all I’m going to think about is my pregnancy water leaking out of my vagina.
“Sway! My vagina broke the happiness!” I cry when he runs over. He grabs the food and my purse before helping me walk the few steps left to take me inside Corps Security. “Sway!” I pant. “Are you listening to me? My vagina broke it!”
Of course that would be the moment that we step through the door to CS. And of course the lobby wouldn’t be empty.
“Hey, baby,” I gasp. I grab my tight stomach when new wave of pain washes over me. Holy shit, this hurts.
“Sunshine? Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay! I brought you Mexican and my vagina broke the happiness! Do I look okay?” I have to take a huge gulp of air when I feel another sharp pain rock through my stomach. “They aren’t supposed to be coming this fast, baby,” I whine.
His eyes widen when the meaning behind my words becomes clear. He smiles for a second before I whimper when my stomach starts to tighten again.
“Davey, sugar pie, I think you need to get those sexy fingers of yours dancing over to the phone. It’s looks like there’s a baby on the way.”
That snaps Asher into motion. He tosses the file he was looking at over to Davey, rushing over to my side and helping Sway move me deeper into the lobby. We are just about the pass the reception desk when I let out a brutal scream and my body goes limp.
“Let’s lay her down here, all right, darling?” Sway asks, calm as can be.
I look into Asher’s eyes and see the fear leering behind his excitement. I try to reassure him that I’m okay—that this is normal—but when I open my mouth, the only thing that comes out is a scream.
“Dil, baby,” Davey calls from where he is standing, talking to what I assume is the 911 operator.
“Go ahead, doll. You just tell me what I need to do,” Sway calls over his shoulder.
I can hear Davey responding to him, but I’m lost to the pain that is ripping though my body. I keep my eyes glued to Asher’s. He strokes my face, kissing my hand when it clamps down on his own, and between the contractions that are killing me, he presses his forehead against mine and whispers how much he loves me.
