“See the first few reasons are fine. I mean, they suck for you, but not for me. But it’s the last that pisses me off so much. You come in here with this half-assed plan that Lucy Ricardo could be proud of and you don’t even want him. You just don’t want to lose him in your life. And I’ve been trying to give you the time and space to get yourself together. But I have to tell you, between you and me? You’re being a selfish bitch.”
Anne gasped.
“What? Do you have something to say? Because you know I’m right. He’s a good guy. The best I’ve met and he’s a good friend to you. He cares about you and puts you first, and I’m over here waiting for you to finally get yourself handled so you don’t keep pushing him away. He’s miserable when you do that. I’m staying out of the way, but this is where I will step in and say no. This is not a game I’ll be playing. He’s not yours anymore. Not this way. You have essentially had a platonic marriage since you two broke up. No sex, but he’s been your husband. Flirting and helping you out and still putting you first, even when you two dated other people. No more.
“But he’s your friend. He loves you and as far as I can tell, being loved by Royal Watson is pretty f**king awesome. He’s not a toy you discard and then suddenly want back when someone else recognizes his value. But you’re playing with him and that’s gross.”
Anne crossed her arms over her chest. “Who are you to judge? You don’t know any of us.”
“I’m someone who loves Royal. And if you loved him you wouldn’t be yanking on his chain this way. You don’t want him. Not really. Don’t keep this up.
“I don’t have an issue with anyone else in your group. Though there again you’re being a selfish bitch. I’m inclined to be forgiving because I know what it means to feel alone, or that you’re losing someone who understands you so well. I know what that feels like. But you don’t have to lose him. I’m not standing in between you in any other way but this one.” Caroline pointed at the bed. “I haven’t gotten in between you and Royal, and I don’t care to. But I will absolutely get in between you when you’re in his bed. You get me?”
“You want to be around the group? You never come to any of our events.”
“No. I’m rarely invited because you are there, and everyone is tiptoeing around you and how you feel. If freezing me out is what you’re aiming at, you’re pretty good at it. Your friends are always nice to me, but the only times I’m around them is when you aren’t around. And you generally are. So yeah, you don’t get to use that one.”
“You’re a super bitch.”
“I should have a big B on every sweater and shirt I own.” Caroline nodded.
“I’m a super bitch too.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve only seen the unpleasant side of that though. That’s the lazy bitch game. Easy enough if you substitute meanness for bitchiness.”
Anne sighed. “I’ve been a dick to you.”
“Yeah, you have.”
“I’m sorry. I haven’t given you a chance and I’ve cockblocked you with my friends and family too. But for Christ’s sake, do you have to be so perfect?”
“What?”
“Look at you! You’re petite and gorgeous and super smart and accomplished. I can’t compete with that.”
“But you aren’t competing with that. Royal already loves you. There’s no competition there. Also, yeah, this from a nearly five-eight Amazon with great hair.”
Anne did a decent hair flip. “I do have great hair. So do you, but you need a trim.”
“Yes, I have an appointment early next week with a new stylist.”
“Not at my salon you don’t. I have the new client roster and you’re not on it for next week.”
“As if I’d let you near me with scissors. Are you f**king insane?”
“You have a foul mouth.”
“I do.”
“Great, add it to the face and the body and the letters behind your name.”
“Wow, I’m really a great catch.” Caroline snickered.
“Everything okay?” Royal called out from the hall.
Anne spoke up first. “Your girlfriend and I are having a discussion, Royal. No one is bleeding. But a beer when she’s finished with me would be good.”
“Are you okay, Caro?”
Nicely played, Caroline thought. She called back, “Right as rain.”
“He really digs you.” Anne snorted. “Also, even if I hated you, I’d never butcher hair. That shit gets out quick in a town like Petal. I have a reputation to protect at the very least. Cancel your other appointment. I’ll get you in with Tate. She’s almost as good as I am with scissors.”
“I’ll need to think on that. But for the rest, do we understand one another?”
“Look, you don’t know me, and that’s my fault. But I’m actually an okay person. I think we could sort of be friends, maybe.”
“Don’t flatter me so.”
Anne laughed. “I do like that you’re bitchy. At first you were so nice and avoided being crass and stuff. I wondered if you were strong or cowed. I should have known Royal wouldn’t have gone for anyone who was the latter.”
“Partly I did it because it made you even more aggravated. When I didn’t rise to the bait and respond back in kind. Really, I just come off looking nice while you look like you ate a whole bowl of sour grapes.”
Anne gasped.
“What? Do you have something to say? Because you know I’m right. He’s a good guy. The best I’ve met and he’s a good friend to you. He cares about you and puts you first, and I’m over here waiting for you to finally get yourself handled so you don’t keep pushing him away. He’s miserable when you do that. I’m staying out of the way, but this is where I will step in and say no. This is not a game I’ll be playing. He’s not yours anymore. Not this way. You have essentially had a platonic marriage since you two broke up. No sex, but he’s been your husband. Flirting and helping you out and still putting you first, even when you two dated other people. No more.
“But he’s your friend. He loves you and as far as I can tell, being loved by Royal Watson is pretty f**king awesome. He’s not a toy you discard and then suddenly want back when someone else recognizes his value. But you’re playing with him and that’s gross.”
Anne crossed her arms over her chest. “Who are you to judge? You don’t know any of us.”
“I’m someone who loves Royal. And if you loved him you wouldn’t be yanking on his chain this way. You don’t want him. Not really. Don’t keep this up.
“I don’t have an issue with anyone else in your group. Though there again you’re being a selfish bitch. I’m inclined to be forgiving because I know what it means to feel alone, or that you’re losing someone who understands you so well. I know what that feels like. But you don’t have to lose him. I’m not standing in between you in any other way but this one.” Caroline pointed at the bed. “I haven’t gotten in between you and Royal, and I don’t care to. But I will absolutely get in between you when you’re in his bed. You get me?”
“You want to be around the group? You never come to any of our events.”
“No. I’m rarely invited because you are there, and everyone is tiptoeing around you and how you feel. If freezing me out is what you’re aiming at, you’re pretty good at it. Your friends are always nice to me, but the only times I’m around them is when you aren’t around. And you generally are. So yeah, you don’t get to use that one.”
“You’re a super bitch.”
“I should have a big B on every sweater and shirt I own.” Caroline nodded.
“I’m a super bitch too.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve only seen the unpleasant side of that though. That’s the lazy bitch game. Easy enough if you substitute meanness for bitchiness.”
Anne sighed. “I’ve been a dick to you.”
“Yeah, you have.”
“I’m sorry. I haven’t given you a chance and I’ve cockblocked you with my friends and family too. But for Christ’s sake, do you have to be so perfect?”
“What?”
“Look at you! You’re petite and gorgeous and super smart and accomplished. I can’t compete with that.”
“But you aren’t competing with that. Royal already loves you. There’s no competition there. Also, yeah, this from a nearly five-eight Amazon with great hair.”
Anne did a decent hair flip. “I do have great hair. So do you, but you need a trim.”
“Yes, I have an appointment early next week with a new stylist.”
“Not at my salon you don’t. I have the new client roster and you’re not on it for next week.”
“As if I’d let you near me with scissors. Are you f**king insane?”
“You have a foul mouth.”
“I do.”
“Great, add it to the face and the body and the letters behind your name.”
“Wow, I’m really a great catch.” Caroline snickered.
“Everything okay?” Royal called out from the hall.
Anne spoke up first. “Your girlfriend and I are having a discussion, Royal. No one is bleeding. But a beer when she’s finished with me would be good.”
“Are you okay, Caro?”
Nicely played, Caroline thought. She called back, “Right as rain.”
“He really digs you.” Anne snorted. “Also, even if I hated you, I’d never butcher hair. That shit gets out quick in a town like Petal. I have a reputation to protect at the very least. Cancel your other appointment. I’ll get you in with Tate. She’s almost as good as I am with scissors.”
“I’ll need to think on that. But for the rest, do we understand one another?”
“Look, you don’t know me, and that’s my fault. But I’m actually an okay person. I think we could sort of be friends, maybe.”
“Don’t flatter me so.”
Anne laughed. “I do like that you’re bitchy. At first you were so nice and avoided being crass and stuff. I wondered if you were strong or cowed. I should have known Royal wouldn’t have gone for anyone who was the latter.”
“Partly I did it because it made you even more aggravated. When I didn’t rise to the bait and respond back in kind. Really, I just come off looking nice while you look like you ate a whole bowl of sour grapes.”
