There wouldn’t be any more rogues or dirty councils. For all the pros, the one con on my list was the idea of never seeing Dorian again. It was enough to stop me from calling Aiden and telling him to book me a plane ticket.
“What did you ever see in him?” Dorian asked as he carried a pizza up the stairs and laid it on the coffee table. Sometime between Jackson Square and Dorian’s place I’d lost my boudain and was starving. At just after eight o’clock, my stomach was furious with me.
“What?”
“Aiden,” Dorian clarified. “He’s running away when he should stay and fight. It’s a cowardice move.”
Is that what I’d be if I decided to go with him, a coward? I knew in reality I couldn’t actually run from my problems. Leaving the country wouldn’t eradicate the knowledge that I was a spirit walker from the VC’s minds, and Holly would still be the horrible person that she was. Turning my back on all of my problems would only be a temporary solution, but it was a nice thought.
“He’s leaving to protect me.” I picked up a piece of pizza, making sure the dripping cheese didn’t fall on Dorian’s antique rug or couch. He sat in the chair to the right, resting his leg on his bent knee. I could feel his eyes observing me, his silent thoughts almost loud enough to hear.
“I spoke to Fiona earlier and Holly is wandering around the castle as if nothing happened. My own council is either dirty or doesn’t believe me.” I picked at the pepperoni, popping it into my mouth. My cat pranced around the sofa, her big green eyes pleading with me for food.
“Oh my gosh. I forgot all about her.” Picking more pieces of pepperoni, I laid them on a napkin and set them on the floor. “I’m such a horrible owner.”
“I picked her some food up the other day,” Dorian said. “She’s been hiding ever since you brought her here.”
I smiled because Dorian was not an animal person. “Thank you.” I looked down at my Persian. “She still needs a name and I refuse to name her shadow just because she’s black. I think I’ll name her snowball.”
“Snowball?”
“Yep, it’ll confuse the hell out of people when they see a black cat named snowball.”
Dorian shook his head, a smile on his face. “Now that that’s taken care of…”
I ate my pizza and kept my eyes on my food, afraid Dorian would be able to see my thoughts of leaving all over my face.
“Do you have proof your council is bad?”
“Huh?” I lifted my head to look at him. “Oh, uh no, but Holly’s freedom speaks volumes.”
“Maybe it’s a faux sense of freedom,” Dorian responded. “They could just be making her think they think she’s innocent in order to watch her. Governments never find imprisoning and giving the death sentence to one of their own easy. They’ll want concrete proof.”
“I thought that was the point of the trial?”
“It is, but they’ll want to find their own proof before they see yours.”
I shrugged. “Maybe, but Fiona also said there are rumors going around Moon about me wanting to go hybrid. Add to the fact that no one called to tell me the protection spell was reactivated…It’s all a little fishy.”
“So what are you getting at?”
I shrugged again. “All of it, my life I suppose, can be overwhelming. I feel like I’m in a game of Clue; no one is to be trusted. I’m just waiting for the ah-ha moment to happen and someone to yell ‘it was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick’, for it all to start making sense.” I gave Dorian a small smile. “I know it seems like I complain a lot, and I don’t mean to, it’s just…this is all new to me. Just a few short months ago I was oblivious to how devious people could be. No one sought me out or tried killing me.” I paused, taking a small bite of my pizza.
“But I’m trying. I want to be fearless and not bat an eyelash when I hear this stuff. It just feels like I’m not getting anywhere, you know?”
Dorian stood up, walked over to the sofa and sat down beside me. He took my plate from my lap and sat it on the coffee table, taking my hands in his. Slowly, I raised my head to meet his eyes. I felt so safe when I was with him; indestructible beside him. It was the nicest illusion.
“Gwen, you don’t realize just how powerful you are.” He reached a hand up and caressed the side of my face. “If you weren’t, people wouldn’t be coming after you. You’re a gentle and caring person, someone who doesn’t know she already has everything she needs to be fearless.”
Dorian leaned back against the sofa, extending his arm as an invitation. I scooted over, cuddling against his side and resting my head on his chest. Dorian clasped his arms around me.
“Everything worth having comes at a price, Gwen. You may be overwhelmed now and tempted to forget about it all, but your problems will always be waiting for you. Facing them head on is the only solution to salvation.”
His words struck me as odd. “Why do you think I’m tempted to forget about it all?”
Dorian snorted, his fingers tightening around my arm. “I knew as soon as Lauren told me Aiden was leaving he’d try to get you to go with him. And he wouldn’t be staying in a hotel room if he wasn’t waiting for you to make up your mind.”
“I haven’t decided.” That was obvious, but those were the only words I could manage to speak. Dorian was right though; my problems would always be there. The only guarantee of getting rid of them was to take care of the people causing them. At the moment, my mind was split in two. One side imagined the beautiful places Aiden and I would see and the peacefulness of no worries, while the other side wanted to march in and take every last villain in my life down.
Dorian unwound his arms from me, standing up abruptly. He reached for the pizza and plates, carrying them into the kitchen.
“Hey, I’m not done with that.”
“It’s late, we should get some sleep.”
My eyes found the clock. “It’s only 9:30.”
“Feel free to stay up, just stay in the house.” And with that he disappeared down the hallway. So maybe he was a little ticked I was even considering Aiden’s idea. Somehow between snarky comments and stolen kisses, Dorian and I had become more than friends. And I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I was always getting myself in trouble with the guys in my life. What can I say? I’m a girl who likes men. Not in a “fifty-dollar make you holla” kind of way, but I did enjoy the rush they provided my body with.
I sat on the couch, my eyes roaming around the empty space. Watching television was about my only option. My hand leisurely stroked Snowball’s fur as I contemplated what to do. I might not have been able to go out of the house and explore, but I could do a little exploring inside. Dorian’s house was a road map to his life.
Standing, I headed down the hall. The first three doors were bedrooms and the fourth was the bathroom. The thought of soaking in a hot bubble bath was tempting also. That would have to wait; I was too curious to see what was behind door number five and six. I stood outside the closed door, listening to see if Dorian had heard my footsteps. When he didn’t stick his head out, I slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind me. I felt around on the wall for the light switch, flipping it when my hand found it. The room was an office of sorts. An antique carved desk rested in front of a large window. Built-in bookcases lined every wall, only stopping when there was a window to break up the flow.
Walking over to the furthest side, I studied the objects on the shelves. Hundreds of books were lined in rows, perfectly synchronized to their height. Most looked old with fading cracked spines, their titles unreadable. One shelf held nothing but a hodge-podge of knick-knacks that didn’t seem to make sense: a tarnished pocket watch, a string of pearls, a pair of dice, a butterfly hairclip, a pocket knife with the initials EJB engraved and a pewter keychain in the shape of a rose. Moving to the next bookcase, I ran my fingers along the worn spines, sucking in a deep breath of the musty paper they struggled to hold together. I had never been a big reader myself, but I’d always loved books. Something about having them around made me feel comforted. If I happened to find one with an interesting cover I’d buy it just because. I told myself I would eventually get around to reading it, but that never happened. Finding so many books in Dorian’s home surprised me. That’s the thing about first impressions; they’re usually always wrong. It’s better to have all the facts before deciding you think you know someone. Learning about Dorian was like straining over puzzle pieces that all looked the same and rejoicing when you finally see the finished picture.
Moving on, I sat at his desk. The top was empty except for a pen cup, sticky notes and a small lamp. I eyed the drawers, wondering if I should open them or not. Deciding not to, I leaned back in the plush leather chair and just took in the room. The walls were dark green, the color of the cherry bookcases in perfect unison. It reminded me of a room that might be found in a home one hundred years ago—cozy and perfect. As I trailed my eyes around the room, they stopped when they landed on a raven carved out of wood. Its wings spanned outwards, his clawed feet curved as if ready to grasp something. Standing, I walked over all the while keeping my eyes pinned on the magnificent carving. Only when I ran into the corner of the desk did I break eye contact with it. I cringed, hoping the loud bang didn’t wake Dorian. Rubbing the spot I had hit, I walked around the desk and stood just under the raven. Each feather was so intricately carved I could almost believe it was real. Black beady eyes stared down at me, its beak sharp and open as if stuck in a caw.
“Gwen?” Dorian opened the door quickly, his head swiveling to observe the room. When he realized the only person in the room was me, he turned his head away from me. “What are you doing in here?”
“Your house doesn’t offer a lot of entertainment,” I said. “I was just checking the rooms out.” I pointed up. “What is that?” Obviously it was a raven, but it seemed important, too well done to be just a normal piece of decoration. I knew Dorian was in a bad mood since learning I was thinking about leaving with Aiden, but I hoped if I got him talking he would snap the hell out of it.
