Craving Redemption
Page 42
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I settled on the safest bet and whispered, “I understand,” before closing my eyes and trying to relax my body.
But I didn’t fall asleep for hours.
Because I didn’t understand.
Chapter 27
Callie
I woke up the next morning ready to put the whole mess behind me. A good night’s rest had always helped me put things in perspective. I was already feeling stronger as I got out of bed and got ready for the day. I should’ve known that I was going to have to suck it up and take care of myself at some point, and I probably would have figured it out for myself, but the hardest part of the night before was having that truth thrown in my face without warning. I hadn’t had time to prepare.
I ran it over and over in my head as I took a shower, and by the time I was drying off, I knew that Grease had been right. The fact that he was leaving was something that I’d pushed to the back of my mind so I didn’t have to deal with it. We only had days left before he had to leave, and if I made myself think logically, I knew that I had only been postponing the inevitable.
I really was on my own.
It was silly to depend on him for everything.
We were going to one of his friend’s houses for a barbeque that day and I was a little nervous about it. I wasn’t afraid, I knew Grease wouldn’t put me in danger, but the thought of meeting a bunch of new people who knew I was living with him was disconcerting. I didn’t want them to think I was taking advantage of him.
The morning passed uneventfully while I puttered around the house sorting laundry and washing dishes. I’d expected there to be tension or something when I woke him up but there wasn’t. It was like every other day we’d been together, except for the fact that I didn’t let myself stay near him too long. I didn’t want to come across as needy again, so for the most part, I stayed out of his way.
As I walked through the apartment, I could feel his puzzled gaze on me, but he never said a word, so I just smiled whenever we made eye contact. I hoped that he was noticing my change in demeanor. I wanted him to realize that I wasn’t going to hang on him anymore. First, I wanted him to know I got the message and second, I needed to ensure that he wouldn’t kick me out for real the next time.
We were getting ready to step out the door when I realized I couldn’t find my phone in my purse. I ran back into our room without saying a word, but I couldn’t see it anywhere so I called out for help.
“Grease, have you seen my phone?” I bellowed, flipping the comforter and sheets down the bed in case it had fallen between them.
I was just about to kneel down on the floor to check under the bed when he walked into the room and the air felt electric.
“You don’t call me Grease,” he told me adamantly, meeting my eyes from the doorway.
“What?”
“You don’t call me Grease. You call me Asa,” he answered, stepping into the room. “You and your grandmother are the only people on this earth who do.”
I wasn’t sure what the big deal was, so I just nodded my head and started looking for the phone again. I’d dropped to my knees on the floor and was starting to bend over to look under the bed when I heard him curse behind me and lift me up by my armpits.
He tossed me on the bed and I bounced once before coming to a stop with his body covering mine.
“I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying to you. You’re the only one who calls me by the name my mother gave me, Callie. The only one. You say it when you’re frustrated, and when you think something’s funny, and when you’re coming all over my hands.”
My breath caught at the fire in his eyes, and as he shifted against me, my heart started to race.
“You can be pissed as hell at me, call me a dick or an asshole. You can scream at me, throw shit, and stomp around the house.” He nuzzled my neck as he spoke, and my hands lifted involuntarily to his hair to anchor him to me.
“But if I hear you call me Grease again, I’m going to spank your ass,” he whispered, gripping one of my ass cheeks in his hand to force my hips into his.
God, I’d been thinking and overthinking things in my head for the last twelve hours, and all I wanted to do in that moment was get lost in him again. I wanted to get to that place where the only thing that mattered was where his body was pressing against mine. I made a noise and tilted my head back to give him easier access to my throat, but it didn’t give me the response I was looking for. Instead, he planted one of his fists on the bed and used his other hand to pull his phone from his back pocket. He flipped it open and pushed a button, never looking away from my face, and I felt my breathing speed up as he started to slowly rock his hips into mine.
“Hey, man. We’re not gonna make it today,” he growled into the phone, his voice deep and guttural. “Got some other shit that came up… yeah, I’ll let you know.”
He closed his phone with a snap, and I heard it thud against the carpet as he threw it off the bed, but I was too busy looking at him to see where it landed. He leaned back onto his knees and was pushing my shirt up my stomach, licking and biting at me on every inch he exposed. When I finally had enough of his teasing, I reached down and tore it off, going for his vest next and pushing it off his shoulders.
We wrestled and rolled until our clothes were strewn across the bed and my chest was heaving with exertion. Asa was a huge guy. I knew he allowed me to push him around the bed because he easily weighed a hundred pounds more than I did. But he let me scratch and bite at him, taking everything I gave him as my frustrations poured out of me. His skin turned red across his chest, and there were fingernail marks covering the length of his back where I’d scratched him as he kissed me. I’d also left a fat hickey on his neck and a bite mark on his shoulder—almost as if I was marking my territory.
But I didn’t fall asleep for hours.
Because I didn’t understand.
Chapter 27
Callie
I woke up the next morning ready to put the whole mess behind me. A good night’s rest had always helped me put things in perspective. I was already feeling stronger as I got out of bed and got ready for the day. I should’ve known that I was going to have to suck it up and take care of myself at some point, and I probably would have figured it out for myself, but the hardest part of the night before was having that truth thrown in my face without warning. I hadn’t had time to prepare.
I ran it over and over in my head as I took a shower, and by the time I was drying off, I knew that Grease had been right. The fact that he was leaving was something that I’d pushed to the back of my mind so I didn’t have to deal with it. We only had days left before he had to leave, and if I made myself think logically, I knew that I had only been postponing the inevitable.
I really was on my own.
It was silly to depend on him for everything.
We were going to one of his friend’s houses for a barbeque that day and I was a little nervous about it. I wasn’t afraid, I knew Grease wouldn’t put me in danger, but the thought of meeting a bunch of new people who knew I was living with him was disconcerting. I didn’t want them to think I was taking advantage of him.
The morning passed uneventfully while I puttered around the house sorting laundry and washing dishes. I’d expected there to be tension or something when I woke him up but there wasn’t. It was like every other day we’d been together, except for the fact that I didn’t let myself stay near him too long. I didn’t want to come across as needy again, so for the most part, I stayed out of his way.
As I walked through the apartment, I could feel his puzzled gaze on me, but he never said a word, so I just smiled whenever we made eye contact. I hoped that he was noticing my change in demeanor. I wanted him to realize that I wasn’t going to hang on him anymore. First, I wanted him to know I got the message and second, I needed to ensure that he wouldn’t kick me out for real the next time.
We were getting ready to step out the door when I realized I couldn’t find my phone in my purse. I ran back into our room without saying a word, but I couldn’t see it anywhere so I called out for help.
“Grease, have you seen my phone?” I bellowed, flipping the comforter and sheets down the bed in case it had fallen between them.
I was just about to kneel down on the floor to check under the bed when he walked into the room and the air felt electric.
“You don’t call me Grease,” he told me adamantly, meeting my eyes from the doorway.
“What?”
“You don’t call me Grease. You call me Asa,” he answered, stepping into the room. “You and your grandmother are the only people on this earth who do.”
I wasn’t sure what the big deal was, so I just nodded my head and started looking for the phone again. I’d dropped to my knees on the floor and was starting to bend over to look under the bed when I heard him curse behind me and lift me up by my armpits.
He tossed me on the bed and I bounced once before coming to a stop with his body covering mine.
“I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying to you. You’re the only one who calls me by the name my mother gave me, Callie. The only one. You say it when you’re frustrated, and when you think something’s funny, and when you’re coming all over my hands.”
My breath caught at the fire in his eyes, and as he shifted against me, my heart started to race.
“You can be pissed as hell at me, call me a dick or an asshole. You can scream at me, throw shit, and stomp around the house.” He nuzzled my neck as he spoke, and my hands lifted involuntarily to his hair to anchor him to me.
“But if I hear you call me Grease again, I’m going to spank your ass,” he whispered, gripping one of my ass cheeks in his hand to force my hips into his.
God, I’d been thinking and overthinking things in my head for the last twelve hours, and all I wanted to do in that moment was get lost in him again. I wanted to get to that place where the only thing that mattered was where his body was pressing against mine. I made a noise and tilted my head back to give him easier access to my throat, but it didn’t give me the response I was looking for. Instead, he planted one of his fists on the bed and used his other hand to pull his phone from his back pocket. He flipped it open and pushed a button, never looking away from my face, and I felt my breathing speed up as he started to slowly rock his hips into mine.
“Hey, man. We’re not gonna make it today,” he growled into the phone, his voice deep and guttural. “Got some other shit that came up… yeah, I’ll let you know.”
He closed his phone with a snap, and I heard it thud against the carpet as he threw it off the bed, but I was too busy looking at him to see where it landed. He leaned back onto his knees and was pushing my shirt up my stomach, licking and biting at me on every inch he exposed. When I finally had enough of his teasing, I reached down and tore it off, going for his vest next and pushing it off his shoulders.
We wrestled and rolled until our clothes were strewn across the bed and my chest was heaving with exertion. Asa was a huge guy. I knew he allowed me to push him around the bed because he easily weighed a hundred pounds more than I did. But he let me scratch and bite at him, taking everything I gave him as my frustrations poured out of me. His skin turned red across his chest, and there were fingernail marks covering the length of his back where I’d scratched him as he kissed me. I’d also left a fat hickey on his neck and a bite mark on his shoulder—almost as if I was marking my territory.
