Holy shit!
“What does that, um… mean?” I asked and his eyes came to me.
“You’re on Dad’s back.”
God, Creed was right. His kids were far from dumb.
“Brand –” I started but he interrupted me, not that I knew what I was going to say.
“Kara says you’re, like, the one. She says Dad’s been waitin’ for you to come back for, like, ever. She says that now you’re back, Dad will be happy and he’ll want us all together. She says Mom couldn’t hold onto him because she wasn’t you. Now he has you and we can be a family again. Least that’s what Kara says.”
He looked back to the yard as I mentally scrambled to figure out what to say, what to do at the same time sending vibes to Creed in an effort to get him to come over and rescue me from this crazy, landmine filled conversation.
Even as I scrambled, Brand, being Brand, kept talking and when he did, he gave me the remaining puzzle pieces as to why Kara and her Mom didn’t get on and why Kara attached herself to his hip when she was around Creed.
“Kara says Dad’s the best guy on earth and I agree. Totally. Only the best girl for the best guy, she says. She says she wasn’t surprised when she met you because you’re like Dad, cool and pretty but fun.” He shot another grin at me. “Dad can be kinda strict.”
“Uh…” I mumbled.
Brand kept talking.
“Mom’s cool too, I think. Kara and her, though…” he shrugged and looked away. “I like Van but Kara says he’s no Dad. He isn’t but he’s okay. I like him but I think he tries too hard with Kara and that’s kinda lame. I mean, he should be with her like he is with me, you know, natural-like.” He shook his head. “But he isn’t.”
Van, obviously Chelle’s husband, wasn’t with Kara like he was with Brand, I suspected, because Brand liked him and he didn’t have to try.
Brand continued blabbing.
“Kara says a woman like Mom gets a man like Van and a woman like you catches the eye of a man like Dad. She says it’s going to be totally awesome when we move in with you guys because we’ll be cool just like you. I love her but Mom and Van aren’t cool. Mom and Van are, like, totally normal.”
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Brand wasn’t done.
“Kara blames Mom for Dad leaving. She always did, you know. I didn’t get it but after we met you and she explained it, I did. Mom couldn’t hold him because Mom wasn’t you. I miss him but Kara, she like, really misses him. She’s a pain but she’s my sister and it kinda hurts to watch.”
And there it was.
Kara blamed Chelle for Creed leaving.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit!
“She’s a whole lot better now,” Brand finished.
Shit.
Well, I guessed I couldn’t ease my way into being a part of the family. Not with these people. They were sucking me into the big stuff right away. All of them.
Crap.
“Brand,” I called.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Look at me, would you?”
He looked at me.
I took in a breath.
Then I laid it out.
“I gotta tell you, straight out, that I gotta talk to your Dad about what you just told me.”
His head tipped to the side. “Why?”
“’Cause I’m not real sure how you and Kara think it’s gonna go is how it’s gonna go.”
He looked a little confused and a little scared as he studied me. “Are you and Dad not, like, hooked up? I mean, are you not the Sylvie from his back? Before we met you, he told us your name and he told us that he’d known you from a long time ago, so we just figured you were that Sylvie.”
Shit!
“We are hooked up,” I said quietly. “Very. And I am that Sylvie. It’s just that I need to tell him what you and Kara expect for your future. Or, maybe, if you feel up to it, you both should talk to him about it. That would actually be better.”
The confusion left, the fear escalated and I knew I was not handling this well at all.
God, should I call Creed over?
“Does Dad not want us to live with him?” Brand asked.
I so totally should call Creed over but I couldn’t since I figured the priority was dealing with Brand’s escalating fear immediately.
“He does,” I answered. “Definitely. He misses you kids. He talks about you lots. He loves you to bits. But, it’s just –”
“Do you not want us to live with him?”
God!
What the f**k should I do?
Crap. I had to do what I always did.
Give it to him honestly.
“Yes,” I stated. “In a perfect world, yes. I think you kids are the business. You’re funny and smart and if I get some practice in, I am so getting my fair share of the pizzookie.”
That got me a small grin, I took heart in that so I kept going.
“So if you were around, I’d have lots of practice. But I’ve also met your Mom and I liked her a lot. She’s awesome. She still cares about your Dad and she totally loves both of you. For your Dad to have you, that would mean her losing you. It sucks, babe, you’re young and this is heavy stuff. My Mom and Dad were divorced and it’s not fun, sharing time, wanting both, only getting one at a time.”
Okay, part of that was a lie but I had to roll with it, so I kept doing that.
“And, for a while, until you’re old enough to do it for yourselves, your Dad and Mom have got to decide what’s best for you. I’m here to listen and happy to do it but they make the decisions. You just gotta tell them where you’re head is at and I don’t just mean you. Kara too. Your Dad has told me she and your Mom kinda don’t get along and it worries your Dad and probably really worries your Mom. She should know what’s up with Kara so she and your sister can work that out. You with me?”
“I think so,” Brand replied.
I nodded. “So, you do what you want but I suggest you talk to your Dad about all this. I don’t want to burst your bubble but it’s the right thing to do. That said, sorry if it freaks you out, babe, but I’ll be telling your Dad about this. Sometimes we’re gonna have just you and me talks. Hopefully, I’ll get the same with Kara. But sometimes, if it’s really important, like this, I’ll have to make the decision to tell your Dad and I hope you trust me to do right by you when I do.”
His mouth moved around and he looked at the yard. I looked too and saw that Creed totally missed my vibe and was now, with Theo on his shoulders, playing hide and seek with Adam, Kara and Leslie.
“What does that, um… mean?” I asked and his eyes came to me.
“You’re on Dad’s back.”
God, Creed was right. His kids were far from dumb.
“Brand –” I started but he interrupted me, not that I knew what I was going to say.
“Kara says you’re, like, the one. She says Dad’s been waitin’ for you to come back for, like, ever. She says that now you’re back, Dad will be happy and he’ll want us all together. She says Mom couldn’t hold onto him because she wasn’t you. Now he has you and we can be a family again. Least that’s what Kara says.”
He looked back to the yard as I mentally scrambled to figure out what to say, what to do at the same time sending vibes to Creed in an effort to get him to come over and rescue me from this crazy, landmine filled conversation.
Even as I scrambled, Brand, being Brand, kept talking and when he did, he gave me the remaining puzzle pieces as to why Kara and her Mom didn’t get on and why Kara attached herself to his hip when she was around Creed.
“Kara says Dad’s the best guy on earth and I agree. Totally. Only the best girl for the best guy, she says. She says she wasn’t surprised when she met you because you’re like Dad, cool and pretty but fun.” He shot another grin at me. “Dad can be kinda strict.”
“Uh…” I mumbled.
Brand kept talking.
“Mom’s cool too, I think. Kara and her, though…” he shrugged and looked away. “I like Van but Kara says he’s no Dad. He isn’t but he’s okay. I like him but I think he tries too hard with Kara and that’s kinda lame. I mean, he should be with her like he is with me, you know, natural-like.” He shook his head. “But he isn’t.”
Van, obviously Chelle’s husband, wasn’t with Kara like he was with Brand, I suspected, because Brand liked him and he didn’t have to try.
Brand continued blabbing.
“Kara says a woman like Mom gets a man like Van and a woman like you catches the eye of a man like Dad. She says it’s going to be totally awesome when we move in with you guys because we’ll be cool just like you. I love her but Mom and Van aren’t cool. Mom and Van are, like, totally normal.”
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Brand wasn’t done.
“Kara blames Mom for Dad leaving. She always did, you know. I didn’t get it but after we met you and she explained it, I did. Mom couldn’t hold him because Mom wasn’t you. I miss him but Kara, she like, really misses him. She’s a pain but she’s my sister and it kinda hurts to watch.”
And there it was.
Kara blamed Chelle for Creed leaving.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit!
“She’s a whole lot better now,” Brand finished.
Shit.
Well, I guessed I couldn’t ease my way into being a part of the family. Not with these people. They were sucking me into the big stuff right away. All of them.
Crap.
“Brand,” I called.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Look at me, would you?”
He looked at me.
I took in a breath.
Then I laid it out.
“I gotta tell you, straight out, that I gotta talk to your Dad about what you just told me.”
His head tipped to the side. “Why?”
“’Cause I’m not real sure how you and Kara think it’s gonna go is how it’s gonna go.”
He looked a little confused and a little scared as he studied me. “Are you and Dad not, like, hooked up? I mean, are you not the Sylvie from his back? Before we met you, he told us your name and he told us that he’d known you from a long time ago, so we just figured you were that Sylvie.”
Shit!
“We are hooked up,” I said quietly. “Very. And I am that Sylvie. It’s just that I need to tell him what you and Kara expect for your future. Or, maybe, if you feel up to it, you both should talk to him about it. That would actually be better.”
The confusion left, the fear escalated and I knew I was not handling this well at all.
God, should I call Creed over?
“Does Dad not want us to live with him?” Brand asked.
I so totally should call Creed over but I couldn’t since I figured the priority was dealing with Brand’s escalating fear immediately.
“He does,” I answered. “Definitely. He misses you kids. He talks about you lots. He loves you to bits. But, it’s just –”
“Do you not want us to live with him?”
God!
What the f**k should I do?
Crap. I had to do what I always did.
Give it to him honestly.
“Yes,” I stated. “In a perfect world, yes. I think you kids are the business. You’re funny and smart and if I get some practice in, I am so getting my fair share of the pizzookie.”
That got me a small grin, I took heart in that so I kept going.
“So if you were around, I’d have lots of practice. But I’ve also met your Mom and I liked her a lot. She’s awesome. She still cares about your Dad and she totally loves both of you. For your Dad to have you, that would mean her losing you. It sucks, babe, you’re young and this is heavy stuff. My Mom and Dad were divorced and it’s not fun, sharing time, wanting both, only getting one at a time.”
Okay, part of that was a lie but I had to roll with it, so I kept doing that.
“And, for a while, until you’re old enough to do it for yourselves, your Dad and Mom have got to decide what’s best for you. I’m here to listen and happy to do it but they make the decisions. You just gotta tell them where you’re head is at and I don’t just mean you. Kara too. Your Dad has told me she and your Mom kinda don’t get along and it worries your Dad and probably really worries your Mom. She should know what’s up with Kara so she and your sister can work that out. You with me?”
“I think so,” Brand replied.
I nodded. “So, you do what you want but I suggest you talk to your Dad about all this. I don’t want to burst your bubble but it’s the right thing to do. That said, sorry if it freaks you out, babe, but I’ll be telling your Dad about this. Sometimes we’re gonna have just you and me talks. Hopefully, I’ll get the same with Kara. But sometimes, if it’s really important, like this, I’ll have to make the decision to tell your Dad and I hope you trust me to do right by you when I do.”
His mouth moved around and he looked at the yard. I looked too and saw that Creed totally missed my vibe and was now, with Theo on his shoulders, playing hide and seek with Adam, Kara and Leslie.
