Fuck. She was right about that. He hated it when Christi was right. And yeah, this sex thing was really bothering him. He tried not to let Nick know it was a big deal to him, but it was.
As much as he didn’t want to get into his sex life with Christi, she was the only person he had. “I haven’t been able to take him. It feels like the bastard is trying to split me in two, and now he refuses to try.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Ugh. I want him, Chris. I do. I fucking hate that I’m not able to give myself to him. I mean, Jesus, I pushed this on him. I kissed him first and now he can’t even fuck me. I don’t...I don’t want him to think I don’t want this, that I don’t want us. I want him to know I’m in this relationship just as much as he is.”
Christi breathed heavily through the phone. “Holy shit, Bry. You shouldn’t hide that big heart of yours behind laughs and the pretense of not taking things seriously. You’re human like the rest of us.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You act like things don’t matter to you, but they do. Nick does. You’re just as insecure as the rest of us are. Nick knows how you feel. I know you’ve never seen it this way before, but sex isn’t everything. It’s not what matters. How you treat him is what’s important. You treat him right and be fair to him, and he’ll know you’re in this just as much as he is. And it won’t be like this forever. You guys will figure it out. In the meantime...if he needs...”
Bryce heard the humor in her voice and laughed. “Hands off! Nick is mine. And thanks. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I am pretty good. Have you talked to the family since you told them?”
That quickly, the weight in his chest was back. “Just Jamie and Hope. Well, Abbey called once, but mostly just Jamie and Hope. Jamie called this morning. He wants Nick and I to go to Mom and Dad’s for dinner this Saturday. He said he knows she misses me, but she’s just as stubborn as I am and won’t make the first step.”
“Which you know he’s likely right about.”
Yeah, he did. At least with the stubborn part. “He said she’s just hurt because of you, and the lies. And she’s confused. She still doesn’t believe I’m serious. She apparently told Jamie that she doesn’t think even I realize what I’m doing, that I don’t realize this is just another fun experiment for me...” Bryce paused. Thought. Felt the ache in his chest and the anger at himself. “You don’t think she’s right, do you? You don’t think I’m subconsciously using Nick as an excuse not to settle down, and to just...I don’t know...play.” Because the truth was, Bryce had always liked to play around. That truth never bothered him until now.
“I don’t think so, but only you can answer that.”
The answer was no. He was more serious about Nick than he’d ever been about anything in his life.
“Are you going to dinner on Saturday?” he asked.
“No. I think it’s better that I sit this one out.”
He knew that Christi was right. He hadn’t expected this to be so hard, the fallout that trickled down; not just between Nick and him, but with the people they cared about as well.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
He and Bryce were out of their fucking minds.
It was Saturday. Bryce was working most of the day at the shop, and then they were going to Bryce’s parents’ house for dinner. Nick would be lying if he didn’t admit he was nervous as hell. This was the first time he was meeting Bryce’s family as his...partner? He guessed that was as good a word as any, and knowing how confused his family was about them didn’t help.
Not only that, but Monday they were going to see his mom—together. Mona Fuller wasn’t aware of that fact, though. That probably made Nick a bastard—that he was taking Bryce—but the truth was, he needed Bryce there. And he wanted his mom to meet the man without a house full of people. He hoped like hell she could see all the great things in Bryce that he did. That’s all he wanted.
To say the next few days would be stress-inducing was an understatement.
So Nick cooked a big ass lunch that he had no business cooking, since he had no one home to eat it.
He showered.
Dressed.
Cleaned.
Ate.
Looked at the clock.
Twelve thirty. Fuck. Why did he get up early with Bryce?
He was too damn restless to sit around the house all afternoon, so he packed some food into a container, jumped in his car and drove down to Bryce’s shop.
