Nick’s brows pulled together, but he didn’t respond, just waited for Bryce to continue.
“I only had a few days to decide. I had all the preparations, still not sure what I would do. Then, I had this dream. I was riding my bike. I don’t even know where I was, but it was beautiful. There was someone on the back, their legs squeezing me, arms around me. We were just fucking going. Flying. I thought about how free I felt out there. Like the whole fucking world was waiting for me to explore it. I could go anywhere or do anything. I had someone I loved riding with me, willing to go wherever the fuck I took them, and all I could think about was the fact that if I didn’t fight, I couldn’t have this. Yeah, maybe I could for a while, but the aneurysm would grow, get thinner, it’s walls would get weaker, and one day something in my head would burst and I’d die. With surgery I had a shot at a normal life. There’s an extremely low risk of regrowth after clipping and that dream made me want that fucking chance. I was a fighter. I could come out of surgery. I had to believe that if I wanted my dream.”
He touched Nick’s hair again before continuing. “I thought it was Christi. I told myself it was her riding with me in that dream. Besides my family, she’s the only person I love like that. I had to know it wasn’t her, though—I just didn’t want to believe it. Or think about what it meant. Or, hell, fucking admit it to myself.”
Nick cocked his head slightly. “Why?”
He really couldn’t fucking believe he was saying this. That he might believe it, or hell, that he hadn’t really thought about it before this moment; but he hadn’t.
“I was driving forever in the dream, when suddenly I was at a dead-end. I sat there, knowing I had to go left or right. I didn’t know which way to go. I assumed it was to get surgery or not...left or right, and I couldn’t fucking decide. Then the person on the back of the bike said, it’s a crossroads, Bryce. Which way are you going to go? I didn’t let myself think about what the voice sounded like. I didn’t let myself remember what I knew the second I heard it... It wasn’t Christi’s voice, Nick. It wasn’t a female voice at all. It was a guy. I think it was you.”
Neither of them spoke. Nick just stared at him, right in the eyes, like he was searching for something. Bryce let him, as he ran a hand over Nick’s short hair. Finally, Bryce said, “See? I told you it’s fucked up. Look what you’ve done to me. You turned me into a sap.”
Nick didn’t respond the way Bryce thought he would, though. He didn’t laugh or give him shit for being really fucking over the top. He just said, “I think it was me, too,” before he set his head down on Bryce’s chest, and let Bryce hold him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Nick hadn’t been able to get what Bryce said to him last night out of his head. He thought about it all day and night. It was still distracting him now, as they drove to his mom’s house.
“How’s this going to go down, Nick? We go right in and tell her? After dinner? Do you have a plan at all? And you look like you’re going to rip the steering wheel out.” Bryce touched his hand. “Loosen your grip. Do you want me to drive? I sure as hell hope you’re the one cooking dinner over there, so it’ll help calm you down.”
At that, Nick couldn’t help but to turn Bryce’s way. He loved that Bryce knew how much cooking settled him. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be happening. “No way. I told you it took a while before she’d even let me help her in the kitchen as a kid. I was the son. Men don’t do kitchen duty. It doesn’t matter that I’m a chef. It’s different at my place, but if we’re at her house, she’ll be cooking. She thinks it’s what she should do to take care of me.”
“What year is this?” Bryce teased.
“Funny.” But Nick smirked.
“I made you laugh. That’s all I wanted.”
Jesus, this man made him all sorts of crazy. “And she knows you’re coming. Karrie said she’s been weird about you, and after the way she acted when I told her I wanted her to meet you, I assume she knows something’s up. We’re here.” Nick pulled over to the side of the road. He dropped his head against the steering wheel. Fuck, why did this have him tied in knots? His mother was meeting the man he was in love with. Nothing else should matter. Just how they felt about each other.
“Nick. Relax.” Bryce touched his leg. “Otherwise I’m going to have to give you head in the car to release some tension. Your mom will come out, and then she’ll really fucking hate me.”
