Damnable Grace
Page 58
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“I cannot stand,” I explained. “We are too far out for my height.”
“That was kinda the point, Red.” He lowered his hands until they were around my behind. I felt him harden against me and felt my own core build with sudden heat.
“AK,” I whispered when he slowly moved his hips against me. One of his hands dipped into the waistband of my shorts. His fingers were slow as they traveled south, gentle as they cupped between my legs and began stroking back and forth along my folds.
I gasped and closed my eyes as he ran his fingertip over my clit. I heard AK’s breathing deepen, felt his hardness against me, and wanted nothing more than to touch him too. Lowering one of my hands from around his neck, I slipped it down his muscled torso, sliding over the deep valleys and ridges until I met the button on his jeans. I unfastened it and unzipped his fly. I pulled out his length and felt AK immediately thrust into my hands.
“Fuck, Red,” he hissed as his hands moved harder and faster at my core. I stroked him up and down as he kept me solidly in his arms, never letting me fall.
I fought the urge to close my eyes. I wanted to watch AK. I wanted to see him, without the potion or the drink. I wanted to watch this man who had brought me to this lodge to help me simply because he wanted to. I had been wanted by many men before, but not for any other reason than sex. I could not be entirely sure, but when AK’s dark gaze watched me, when he offered me his hand, and kissed my cheek when he thought I was sleeping, I did not think it was for only his pleasure.
I was not sure, but . . . but I hoped, and I prayed, that he actually liked me. For me. Not my body. But just . . . me. I did not understand how that could possibly be true, but I desperately wanted it to be.
AK leaned his head forward and took my lips with his own. He kept his hand at my core, slipping back and forth, and then inside me in a slow, rhythmic motion. His tongue sought entrance to my mouth, and our mouths fell into the same rhythm as our hands.
When AK kissed me, the whole world fell away. All the pain and demons that clouded my brain fell into a blissful void, locked away as the taste of him consumed me, chasing the dark. I moaned into his mouth, AK catching my cries and swallowing them whole. I felt the telltale tingles build at the base of my spine. I clutched him tighter, meeting his gaze again as he worked his fingers into me faster, one, two, then three fingers, until he hit the spot inside me that I knew well, that I’d been trained to stimulate, the one that when AK pressed against it, broke me apart into shattered shards of glass, my body nothing more than light. The long cry from my throat sailed on the wind, echoing around the waterfall.
AK’s breathing stuttered. Then he stilled, and never taking his eyes off mine, he came into my hand, his hips jerking as his release washed away with the water. His black pupils almost eradicated the brown of his irises, and his cheeks were flushed with pink.
Our eyes remained on each other, locked in some silent yet poignant bliss. AK kissed me again, not using his tongue this time, just his lips, his soft, sensual lips. They caressed mine as though I was special to his heart.
As though I was worthy of such of affection.
My eyes welled up. His hand moved from my core and stroked up and down my back, soothing my thoughts. His lips worshipped me. I never thought I would ever understand the meaning of a kiss. How it could momentarily stop your heart from beating, or how such an innocent touch could make you feel so incredibly cherished.
I took my hand from AK’s length and quickly fastened up his jeans. AK pulled me back closer. “I fucking like you, Red,” he said hoarsely.
My eyes closed at those words, and I shook my head. “Why? How could you like someone like me?”
AK pressed a single kiss to each of my closed eyes. When I opened them, he said, “Because you understand.” His words were barely above a whisper. Before I could ask him to explain what he had meant, a slow smirk edged on his lips. He kissed my cheek. “You’ve caught the sun,” he said. “We’d better go before you burn.”
I looked at him and saw nothing but bronzed, perfect skin. He had several scars scattered around his body, some large, some small, but I did not pay them any mind. We all bore scars, whether on the outside or in. AK gave me one more swift kiss on my lips and started to move away, but I placed my hands on his face. His skin was warm under my palms, whether that be from the sun or his release. “Red?” His brows pulled down.
“Thank you,” I said, when I could find the words. I gave him a watery smile. “Thank you for bringing me here. For taking me from Meister . . . for it all.” For treating me as if I am more than a whore, I wanted to add, but refrained. AK’s shoulders sagged, and he exhaled as if he had been holding onto that breath for a very long time. “I have no idea why you have done all that you have done for me, but . . . thank you.”
AK did not speak, but he held my stare for several seconds. “We’d better go. The sun won’t be your friend if we stay here much longer.”
Keeping me in his hold, AK took us back to the edge of the pool. He helped me stand on the uneven ground and climb out of the water. I was thankful for the cool water on my skin when the heavy sun immediately beat down on my face.
AK picked up the bottles of water from the ground, then held out his hand. I sighed and slid my hand into his. The walk back to the lodge was quiet, yet more comfortable than I had felt in . . . years. His affection had somehow become a salve to the constant fire of regret that burned, never-ending, in my heart. And this temporary reprieve, this short moment to be able to breathe, had everything to do with the man that led me home.
The one my heart was suddenly leaning toward.
*****
I took a nap and showered, for once not thinking about anything else but AK. I looked in the mirror; my skin was kissed by the sun, more freckles than I ever thought possible peppering my face. A smile came onto my lips when I remembered AK telling me he liked my freckles. My face, a sky full of stars.
My red hair.
Red.
Night had fallen, and AK was outside cooking on the grill. I dressed in a loose black dress I had taken from the closet in AK’s room. The material hung off my shoulders, baring my skin, for which I was thankful. I was slightly burned on my face and arms from today’s sun.
AK turned his head when he heard me come outside, He was already sitting down. There were various items of food on the table and meat on the grill behind him. He lay back on the reclining chair, staring at the stars in the black sky. Smiling, I walked past AK to take the seat beside him, but he took my hand and pulled me down onto his lap. I gave a small cry of shock when I landed on his thighs.
“That was kinda the point, Red.” He lowered his hands until they were around my behind. I felt him harden against me and felt my own core build with sudden heat.
“AK,” I whispered when he slowly moved his hips against me. One of his hands dipped into the waistband of my shorts. His fingers were slow as they traveled south, gentle as they cupped between my legs and began stroking back and forth along my folds.
I gasped and closed my eyes as he ran his fingertip over my clit. I heard AK’s breathing deepen, felt his hardness against me, and wanted nothing more than to touch him too. Lowering one of my hands from around his neck, I slipped it down his muscled torso, sliding over the deep valleys and ridges until I met the button on his jeans. I unfastened it and unzipped his fly. I pulled out his length and felt AK immediately thrust into my hands.
“Fuck, Red,” he hissed as his hands moved harder and faster at my core. I stroked him up and down as he kept me solidly in his arms, never letting me fall.
I fought the urge to close my eyes. I wanted to watch AK. I wanted to see him, without the potion or the drink. I wanted to watch this man who had brought me to this lodge to help me simply because he wanted to. I had been wanted by many men before, but not for any other reason than sex. I could not be entirely sure, but when AK’s dark gaze watched me, when he offered me his hand, and kissed my cheek when he thought I was sleeping, I did not think it was for only his pleasure.
I was not sure, but . . . but I hoped, and I prayed, that he actually liked me. For me. Not my body. But just . . . me. I did not understand how that could possibly be true, but I desperately wanted it to be.
AK leaned his head forward and took my lips with his own. He kept his hand at my core, slipping back and forth, and then inside me in a slow, rhythmic motion. His tongue sought entrance to my mouth, and our mouths fell into the same rhythm as our hands.
When AK kissed me, the whole world fell away. All the pain and demons that clouded my brain fell into a blissful void, locked away as the taste of him consumed me, chasing the dark. I moaned into his mouth, AK catching my cries and swallowing them whole. I felt the telltale tingles build at the base of my spine. I clutched him tighter, meeting his gaze again as he worked his fingers into me faster, one, two, then three fingers, until he hit the spot inside me that I knew well, that I’d been trained to stimulate, the one that when AK pressed against it, broke me apart into shattered shards of glass, my body nothing more than light. The long cry from my throat sailed on the wind, echoing around the waterfall.
AK’s breathing stuttered. Then he stilled, and never taking his eyes off mine, he came into my hand, his hips jerking as his release washed away with the water. His black pupils almost eradicated the brown of his irises, and his cheeks were flushed with pink.
Our eyes remained on each other, locked in some silent yet poignant bliss. AK kissed me again, not using his tongue this time, just his lips, his soft, sensual lips. They caressed mine as though I was special to his heart.
As though I was worthy of such of affection.
My eyes welled up. His hand moved from my core and stroked up and down my back, soothing my thoughts. His lips worshipped me. I never thought I would ever understand the meaning of a kiss. How it could momentarily stop your heart from beating, or how such an innocent touch could make you feel so incredibly cherished.
I took my hand from AK’s length and quickly fastened up his jeans. AK pulled me back closer. “I fucking like you, Red,” he said hoarsely.
My eyes closed at those words, and I shook my head. “Why? How could you like someone like me?”
AK pressed a single kiss to each of my closed eyes. When I opened them, he said, “Because you understand.” His words were barely above a whisper. Before I could ask him to explain what he had meant, a slow smirk edged on his lips. He kissed my cheek. “You’ve caught the sun,” he said. “We’d better go before you burn.”
I looked at him and saw nothing but bronzed, perfect skin. He had several scars scattered around his body, some large, some small, but I did not pay them any mind. We all bore scars, whether on the outside or in. AK gave me one more swift kiss on my lips and started to move away, but I placed my hands on his face. His skin was warm under my palms, whether that be from the sun or his release. “Red?” His brows pulled down.
“Thank you,” I said, when I could find the words. I gave him a watery smile. “Thank you for bringing me here. For taking me from Meister . . . for it all.” For treating me as if I am more than a whore, I wanted to add, but refrained. AK’s shoulders sagged, and he exhaled as if he had been holding onto that breath for a very long time. “I have no idea why you have done all that you have done for me, but . . . thank you.”
AK did not speak, but he held my stare for several seconds. “We’d better go. The sun won’t be your friend if we stay here much longer.”
Keeping me in his hold, AK took us back to the edge of the pool. He helped me stand on the uneven ground and climb out of the water. I was thankful for the cool water on my skin when the heavy sun immediately beat down on my face.
AK picked up the bottles of water from the ground, then held out his hand. I sighed and slid my hand into his. The walk back to the lodge was quiet, yet more comfortable than I had felt in . . . years. His affection had somehow become a salve to the constant fire of regret that burned, never-ending, in my heart. And this temporary reprieve, this short moment to be able to breathe, had everything to do with the man that led me home.
The one my heart was suddenly leaning toward.
*****
I took a nap and showered, for once not thinking about anything else but AK. I looked in the mirror; my skin was kissed by the sun, more freckles than I ever thought possible peppering my face. A smile came onto my lips when I remembered AK telling me he liked my freckles. My face, a sky full of stars.
My red hair.
Red.
Night had fallen, and AK was outside cooking on the grill. I dressed in a loose black dress I had taken from the closet in AK’s room. The material hung off my shoulders, baring my skin, for which I was thankful. I was slightly burned on my face and arms from today’s sun.
AK turned his head when he heard me come outside, He was already sitting down. There were various items of food on the table and meat on the grill behind him. He lay back on the reclining chair, staring at the stars in the black sky. Smiling, I walked past AK to take the seat beside him, but he took my hand and pulled me down onto his lap. I gave a small cry of shock when I landed on his thighs.
