He imagined Summer by his side, in public and private. Building a life. Free of restrictions, completely submitting to her every demand. To finally feel the freedom of pleasure on his own terms.
His cock throbbed and his heart wept.
The idea of his brothers staring in wide-eyed shock and horror flashed in his mind. Shame pulsed with the knowledge that a well known sergeant fell to his knees before a woman in leather, enjoying the sting of a slap in punishment. No. How could he be like this? Perhaps when he finally claimed her, finally climaxed, he’d experience a satisfying relief and could walk away.
A fleeting glimpse of recognition flickered in her eyes, as if she suspected his secret thoughts. She stepped back and put away the wine and snacks, then came back into the room with determination. “I seem to be craving your touch on my body,” she snapped. “You will leave your cock ring on. Stand.”
He rose, his knees sore from kneeling in the same position, even with the thick carpet. Dear God, if I touch her for too long I’ll explode—with or without the damn ring. He dug deep and clawed for the control he’d need to make love to her without coming. She lay down on the bed, her gorgeous white blonde hair spread over the burgundy satin pillows. Then spread her legs. His mouth watered. Her breasts and nipples reminded him of cherries on whipped cream. Her abandon ratcheted his own desire, her pussy naked and open, ready for him to serve.
He settled on the bed, pressing on top of her. Licking and biting the sensitive curve of her neck, he plumped her breasts, drew a nipple into his mouth and sucked hard. She arched and he relished the quick flip of control. He feasted on her breasts, her belly, then dove between her thighs. Sucking and tonguing her to a sharp orgasm, he held her ride out the spasms, greedy for more. The need to thrust into her tight heat gripped him in a frenzy.
“Please, Summer, please.”
“Tell me what you want.” Her eyes glazed. “Tell me exactly.”
“I want to fuck you. Let me fuck you.”
She smiled and licked her lips. “Yes, Rafe, you may fuck me.” The relief of freedom surged, victory finally close. She grabbed a condom from the table, ripped off the wrapper, and held it above him. “Remove the ring.”
He stripped the restriction from his cock. Blood surged through him and he gasped as he fought to hang on.
“Good.” She covered him in seconds, then flipped over and knelt on all fours. He almost exploded at the sight of her perfect ass held high in the air. Grasping her hips, he positioned her, then drove to the hilt in her heat.
Sparks shimmered behind his eyes at the sharp pierce of pleasure. Her pussy clenched on his cock like hungry, greedy fingers, her juices dripping around him. He cried out in ecstasy.
“You are not allowed to come.”
Her words shattered his sensual fog. “What? No, I can’t, please—”
“No coming. Now fuck me.”
He moved, plunging in and out. His control slipped away with each thrust, the slow, steady rhythm ripping away his sanity and leaving a raw, bleeding need to be filled by her. Tears pricked the back of his lids. Her pussy clenched around him.
“Tell me what you want! Now.”
A sob caught in his throat. “I want to come, Summer. Fuck! Let me come inside you!”
“Very nice, baby. Come with me, now!”
He gave a guttural cry of victory and dove deep, his balls slapping against her ass. “Ah!” He shot hot cum, the orgasm gripping every muscle and hurled him over the edge. His toes curled into the mattress as he pumped furiously and released every last drop. The climax shimmered for what felt like endless minutes, going on and on, until he collapsed on the bed, completely spent. She whispered his name and cuddled into him, stroking his back and kissing his cheek. He floated in a strange space of complete peace and bliss he’d never known existed in this life plane. Stray tears clung to his cheeks but she licked them away, and he was too far gone to care.
Emotionally and physically wrecked, fucked out of his mind, he closed his eyes and surrendered to the nothingness.
Summer glanced at the clock by the bureau. Six AM. Dawn had broken beyond the bat cave blinds of the bedroom suite. He slept with a peaceful slumber that broke her heart. They’d woken up a few more times to make love and snuggle, but it had taken him a while to surface after diving into the sub space after his first orgasm.
She took in his strong, muscled body, carved chest, olive skin. Dark curls tumbled over his forehead and her fingers itched to touch them. A rough five o’clock shadow stubbled his chin with a rough sexiness she craved on a full time basis. Oh yeah, I’m completely screwed. And not in a good way.
She’d fallen in love with Rafe Steele.
She sat up in bed. What had she done? How had he snuck past her defenses so quickly? When she’d visited that club for her orientation, she met many subs and not one had connected with her. Her experimentation with play called to her soul, but he’d ruined her for every man who might follow. Unless she asked him to stay.
As if reading her mind, he opened his eyes.
His smile lit up her insides with a glowing warmth. She wanted the time to treasure him, to show him the exotic world of submission that completed both of their souls. But he needed to have the courage to try and reach out for what he wanted.
He needed to take the dare.
He pulled her down for a kiss. His lips moved over hers with the knowledge of a lover, and she gave it all back to him before finally pulling away. “What’s wrong?” His voice was gritty and rough from sleep.
“It’s morning,” she said simply.
Recognition dawned. He sat up, the sheets twisted around his hips. A mix of trepidation and want filled his eyes. “Are you kicking me out of the bed?” He tried for humor, but it fell flat in the waiting silence.
She took a deep breath. She expected honesty from a sub, but that honesty began with her. “No. But are you ready to hear what I really want?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, as if preparing himself. “Yes.”
“I want you.” The words hung in the room like smoke after a gunfire. “I never expected to feel like this, but I want to see you again. You’re an incredible man, Rafe Steele. You have everything I’ve always needed in a mate, and after one night I don’t want to let you go. But if you don’t feel the same way about me, I release you. Our contract ended at dawn. I will thank you for the most incredible evening of my life, and move on. I will never contact you again, and everything that happened behind these doors will never be mentioned.”
Raw emotion glimmered in his eyes. His jaw clenched. Unclenched. Then the words spilled out of his mouth. “I don’t want to let you go. I’ve never felt like this before. But I don’t know if I can commit to this lifestyle.”
“I dare you.”
He sucked in his breath. “Dare me to what?”
“To be honest with what you want. I’m not asking you to admit the lifestyle to your brothers or in public. This is private, between us. But I need to know you’ll explore it with me. And give me everything I ask behind closed doors.”
He seemed to struggle between the lure of his fantasy and the fear of reality. Her heart pounded and the blood squeezed through her veins. He needed to make his own choice or they could never work.
“I can’t do it yet, Summer. I’m not ready.”
She acknowledged his limitation and a heavy grief pressed into her limbs. Perhaps he would never be ready, but she needed to move down her own path and find her own answers. Tears pricked her eyelids. She leaned forward, kissed him, and slid out of bed.
“I understand, I really do. But I can’t follow you right now. Thank you for everything you gave me, I won’t forget it.” She paused. “I won’t forget you.”
She gathered her clothes and closed the bedroom door behind her.
Epilogue
Two weeks later…
Rafe watched his brothers tear into a plate of nachos and wash them down with a pair of matching Coors Lite. His stomach twisted with tension, but he’d made his decision. He needed to tell his brothers the truth—then get Summer Preston back into his life and in his bed.
When she’d left, something within him shattered. He’d pushed past the pain and got back into his old life, but everything changed. Dealing cards, sharing a meal with his brothers, and dating a bunch of pretty, nameless women left him cold. His soul gaped open with an empty wound and nothing seemed to fill it. When he’d looked up private BDSM clubs on the internet and wondered if she had a new sub, the sick anger nearly tore him apart. He belonged to her, and she to him. One night proved she was the woman he wanted to explore that lifestyle with. He wanted her both in and out of the bedroom.
He decided his biggest barriers sat beside him in the cracked leather booth, chowing down on appetizers in ignorant bliss. He tipped back his beer bottle for one last swig and faced his brothers. “I need to tell you guys something. Something that’s been bothering me for a long time.”
They shared a look. Rick dropped the chip he held in his hand and leaned in. Rome nodded with encouragement. “Go ahead, bro. We’re listening.”
Their rock solid support surrounded him. He took a deep breath. “I’m a submissive.”
Rick raised one blond brow. “Get out.”
His stomach turned but he kept his chin high and met his brother’s stare head on. “Nope. I’ve known this for a while now, but I turned chickenshit and refused to admit it. I spent the night with a woman who gave me everything I needed. She wanted more than one night though, and I blew it. But I’m gonna get her back.” He pointed a finger at Rick. “I don’t need to take any of your shit about this.” Then he glared at Rome. “From either of you. Got it?”
Rome studied him in a thoughtful silence and he inwardly squirmed. His brother wiped his mouth with a napkin, then leaned back in the booth with a big ass grin. “Holy shit, I never even suspected. That’s some secret, bro. No wonder you’ve been torn up for the past few years. Denying who you are sucks the soul out of you.”
He blinked. “You understand?”
“I’m surprised, but of course I understand. Did you really think otherwise?” Rome cursed when he saw the truth on his face. “You actually thought I’d have a problem with you being a sub? When my own wife is one? And Rick’s?”
Rafe rubbed his face to hide the sudden heat of embarrassment. “Figured it’d be different when you heard a man was a sub. Kind of odd, don’t you think?”
Rick shook his head, his voice tinged with anger. “No, I don’t. I see it all the time. I may not swing that way, but I respect the hell out of a man who knows who he is and goes after it. Tara and Sloane are some of the strongest, kickass women we know. Just because they’re subs in the bedroom doesn’t mean they’re weak. It’s quite the opposite. That’s basic 101 in BDSM. Figured you’d know that already.”
Relief poured true and clear from the core of his body. He couldn’t help the silly grin spreading across his face as he looked at the two men he loved and respected the most in the world. “Thanks, guys. I appreciate the support.”
