“Sure,” Bishop said with an amused grin. “The daughter of an angel and a demon is standing right here in front of us. I think I’d already know something like that.”
“It was just a wild guess.” Connor shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Slowly, the grin faded from Bishop’s face and a frown replaced it, as if he was giving the possibility more thought. But when Bishop spoke again, I was deeply relieved it was to Connor. “I’d heard there were to be only four of us. You’re the fifth.”
“I’m always late to the party. Sorry about that. Feel free to pay me back by stabbing me through the chest.” He rubbed the spot over his heart. “Oh, wait. You already did that.”
“How long have you been here?”
Connor scratched his head. “A couple of days. Is this a fun city to hang out in? I have been needing a vacation for a while.”
“This isn’t a vacation.”
Connor slapped him on the back. “Sarcasm, my friend. It’s my thing. Get used to it. So are you going to intro me to the others, or what?”
Bishop gave him a sidelong glance. “Oh, they’re going to love you.”
The three of us walked back to St. Andrew’s in silence, apart from a few random comments from Connor. I knew who the joker of the group was going to be, but I didn’t mind. Frankly the fact that he wasn’t a demon had already won me over.
He’d made a wild guess and nailed what I was. It had seriously freaked me out.
I felt fragile, like a piece of glass left on the edge of a tall counter, about ready to crash to the ground at any moment. My emotions were hard to control, but that was exactly what I had to keep doing. I couldn’t let myself break down now.
Seeing that gray for myself, though, the proof I’d been hoping didn’t exist…it had scared me deeply. I’d wanted to believe that all grays were like me. That they thought like me, not wanting to feed. Not wanting to hurt anyone.
But an image of Carly kissing Paul in the booth at Crave earlier haunted me. She hadn’t seemed to realize how bad it was and what it could do to her.
But she hadn’t seen what I had.
Natalie told me that losing a soul wasn’t harmful to a human, that it freed them. Had that been a lie, as well? Was anyone in this damn city telling me the truth?
The thought was like a clawed hand that took hold of my throat and kept squeezing tighter and tighter. It was best that I didn’t say anything right now. Best that I went home and thought about all of this on my own.
“I should go,” I said when we got back to the church. “I don’t want to go back in there and see Kraven and Roth again.”
Bishop turned to me. “I understand. But—wait here. I’ll take Connor inside and then walk you home.”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the brick exterior near the open door. “Okay.”
He looked surprised that I’d agreed without any argument. A smile touched his lips. “Two minutes.”
I just nodded, and he and Connor disappeared into the building.
Those two minutes felt like a long time to be left alone in the dark. And my hunger continued to rage. It had gotten worse since I’d left the nightclub, going from a dull throb to a thunderous roar. Maybe I should have had some of those half-price chicken wings while I’d had the chance.
When Bishop returned, the expression on my face must have caused him some alarm. He was at my side in an instant.
“Samantha, what’s wrong?”
And that did it. The fragile glass was knocked off the edge of the counter and crashed to the ground. I started to cry. Sob. I’d even go so far as to say I was wailing uncontrollably. It was like I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The dam had finally broken.
Bishop put his arms around me and pulled me against him. He stroked the long hair back off my face. Through my blurry vision, all I could see was him. It was all dark behind him, cold except for his touch.
“What?” he said again, almost demanding. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s wrong. I—I’m so scared.”
That only made his expression fiercer than it was to start with. “I know I’ve kept the full truth from you, I’ve scared you over and over, I’ve put you in danger so many times.” He frowned deeper. “I’m really not helping my case much with this line of reasoning, am I?”
I managed a small laugh through my tears. “Don’t become a lawyer.”
“What I’m trying to say is that, despite our shaky start, I’m here for you. I’m here for you like you’ve been here for me.”
My heart clenched at his words. “You are?”
He nodded. “You told me earlier that I had to learn to accept help from others. That’s hard for me. I’ve always done my own thing, thinking I was invulnerable. Trust me, I have a whole lot of pride for an angel. It’s one of the reasons I was first in line to volunteer for this mission without being shielded like the others. I thought I could handle it, no problem.”
“You’ve done really well,” I said.
“No, I haven’t. I’ve been a mess from day one. I was cocky to think it wouldn’t be a big deal. It is. I tried to deny it, to fight it, but I can’t. Not on my own. Not without your help. And now you need help, too.”
The whole time he made his speech, he’d been stroking the hair back off my face, his touch bringing me much needed warmth this cold night.
“It was just a wild guess.” Connor shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Slowly, the grin faded from Bishop’s face and a frown replaced it, as if he was giving the possibility more thought. But when Bishop spoke again, I was deeply relieved it was to Connor. “I’d heard there were to be only four of us. You’re the fifth.”
“I’m always late to the party. Sorry about that. Feel free to pay me back by stabbing me through the chest.” He rubbed the spot over his heart. “Oh, wait. You already did that.”
“How long have you been here?”
Connor scratched his head. “A couple of days. Is this a fun city to hang out in? I have been needing a vacation for a while.”
“This isn’t a vacation.”
Connor slapped him on the back. “Sarcasm, my friend. It’s my thing. Get used to it. So are you going to intro me to the others, or what?”
Bishop gave him a sidelong glance. “Oh, they’re going to love you.”
The three of us walked back to St. Andrew’s in silence, apart from a few random comments from Connor. I knew who the joker of the group was going to be, but I didn’t mind. Frankly the fact that he wasn’t a demon had already won me over.
He’d made a wild guess and nailed what I was. It had seriously freaked me out.
I felt fragile, like a piece of glass left on the edge of a tall counter, about ready to crash to the ground at any moment. My emotions were hard to control, but that was exactly what I had to keep doing. I couldn’t let myself break down now.
Seeing that gray for myself, though, the proof I’d been hoping didn’t exist…it had scared me deeply. I’d wanted to believe that all grays were like me. That they thought like me, not wanting to feed. Not wanting to hurt anyone.
But an image of Carly kissing Paul in the booth at Crave earlier haunted me. She hadn’t seemed to realize how bad it was and what it could do to her.
But she hadn’t seen what I had.
Natalie told me that losing a soul wasn’t harmful to a human, that it freed them. Had that been a lie, as well? Was anyone in this damn city telling me the truth?
The thought was like a clawed hand that took hold of my throat and kept squeezing tighter and tighter. It was best that I didn’t say anything right now. Best that I went home and thought about all of this on my own.
“I should go,” I said when we got back to the church. “I don’t want to go back in there and see Kraven and Roth again.”
Bishop turned to me. “I understand. But—wait here. I’ll take Connor inside and then walk you home.”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the brick exterior near the open door. “Okay.”
He looked surprised that I’d agreed without any argument. A smile touched his lips. “Two minutes.”
I just nodded, and he and Connor disappeared into the building.
Those two minutes felt like a long time to be left alone in the dark. And my hunger continued to rage. It had gotten worse since I’d left the nightclub, going from a dull throb to a thunderous roar. Maybe I should have had some of those half-price chicken wings while I’d had the chance.
When Bishop returned, the expression on my face must have caused him some alarm. He was at my side in an instant.
“Samantha, what’s wrong?”
And that did it. The fragile glass was knocked off the edge of the counter and crashed to the ground. I started to cry. Sob. I’d even go so far as to say I was wailing uncontrollably. It was like I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The dam had finally broken.
Bishop put his arms around me and pulled me against him. He stroked the long hair back off my face. Through my blurry vision, all I could see was him. It was all dark behind him, cold except for his touch.
“What?” he said again, almost demanding. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s wrong. I—I’m so scared.”
That only made his expression fiercer than it was to start with. “I know I’ve kept the full truth from you, I’ve scared you over and over, I’ve put you in danger so many times.” He frowned deeper. “I’m really not helping my case much with this line of reasoning, am I?”
I managed a small laugh through my tears. “Don’t become a lawyer.”
“What I’m trying to say is that, despite our shaky start, I’m here for you. I’m here for you like you’ve been here for me.”
My heart clenched at his words. “You are?”
He nodded. “You told me earlier that I had to learn to accept help from others. That’s hard for me. I’ve always done my own thing, thinking I was invulnerable. Trust me, I have a whole lot of pride for an angel. It’s one of the reasons I was first in line to volunteer for this mission without being shielded like the others. I thought I could handle it, no problem.”
“You’ve done really well,” I said.
“No, I haven’t. I’ve been a mess from day one. I was cocky to think it wouldn’t be a big deal. It is. I tried to deny it, to fight it, but I can’t. Not on my own. Not without your help. And now you need help, too.”
The whole time he made his speech, he’d been stroking the hair back off my face, his touch bringing me much needed warmth this cold night.
