Darkness, Kindled
Page 9

Why she was avoiding him, Jai could only guess.
Why he was avoiding her? For a number of reasons, Charlie not the least of them. The truth was Jai had been worried for days about her and the growing distance between them. She’d been snapping at him, throwing him fake smiles, and generally frustrating the hell out of him. He had no clue what was going on with her and would admit only to himself that he was starting to panic. Buried deep somewhere inside him was the worry that Ari’s feelings for him weren’t real—that they were born of fear of being alone, and born from feeling safe with him. When she’d started pulling away, Jai worried that she’d finally realized the truth of that.
However, that was until this morning.
In the kitchen.
That nightie.
Damn, that nightie. It was like she was deliberately trying to kill him. But at least the nightie had cleared things up a little bit.
Ari thought he wasn’t hot for her because he hadn’t slept with her yet.
Jai couldn’t believe it. Part of him felt like a damn idiot for not putting two and two together. The other part of him resented the fact that being a good guy had suddenly made him a bad guy.
Hell, did she not know what kind of willpower it took to walk away from her?
They had a lot to talk about.
Starting with Charlie.
Michael stared back at him with masculine sympathy. He’d come down to the gym to tell Jai how late it had gotten. “I try to never keep anything from my wife. I learned fast that secrets come back to bite you in the ass.”
Jai sighed heavily, stepping back from the punching bag. “I don’t want her in the middle of this.”
“She’s already in the middle of this. You can’t protect her from that. Plus, you’re the one person she trusts in this whole world. Don’t take that away from her.”
Feeling a rush of fierce protectiveness, Jai nodded gratefully at Michael. Michael and Caroline had to be two of the strongest people he’d ever met. The loss of their daughter, Fallon, still hung heavy in the air, in their eyes and even in the almost drugged movements of their bodies. Yet they carried on protecting everyone and taking time to help out. Jai didn’t know how he could ever repay Michael for letting him start his life over again away from the incredibly poisonous influence of his so-called family.
Knowing Michael wouldn’t want thanks, Jai clapped him on the shoulder as he passed and steeled himself to return home to Ari to figure it all out.
Jai walked into the low-lit sitting room, his heart beating a little faster than usual. Trey would laugh at him if he were here to see Jai Bitar of the great Bitar Ginnayes anxious and nervous about facing a girl. Not just any girl, though, he reminded himself. The girl he loved.
Ari sat in the armchair near the large window, only the table lamp beside her illumination against a darkening sky. Her long legs were draped over the chair’s arm and she watched him warily, her book now closed on her lap.
He hated the uncertainty in her expression.
“We need to talk.” To his surprise, he saw her mouth tremble as she nodded, gracefully bringing her feet to the floor. Her eyes were wide and wounded, and Jai cursed. “Dammit, Ari, don’t look at me like that.”
He saw a flash of anger as her spine straightened and he immediately felt better at the sight of her fire.
“Like what?”
“Like I just killed your cat.”
“I don’t have a cat,” she sniffed haughtily.
He rubbed a hand over his close-cropped hair and sat on the sofa nearest her, his eyes boring into her very angry ones. “Why do I feel like I’ve been a bad guy for days now? I don’t even know what I’ve done except be a gentleman.”
Ari stared at him incredulously. He had a feeling he was about to get another lesson on the mysterious female psyche. “For two months, Jai? Look, I appreciate you giving me my own room and letting me know that you weren’t pressuring me into anything. But stretching it into two months of nothing but kisses and a patronizing nod to tell me it was my bedtime is not about me. It’s about you and what Michael and everyone else here thinks about you. About what you think about you. I get it.” She stood, face flushed with frustration. Jai felt his own blood heat at her accusation.
“You’re Jai Bitar. Honorable, responsible, guardian Ginnaye. God forbid he ever sleep with his eighteen-year-old girlfriend!”
“Ari, stop.”
“No.” She huffed. “Do you know how bad you made me feel about myself? Do you know how worried I was that you thought this was a mistake?”
“You?” Jai snapped. “What about me?
Rather than tell me this stuff, you treated me like crap. I thought you thought it was a mistake.”
But he might as well have stayed quiet. She was on a roll. “And it’s not just the sex thing. You don’t talk to me.”
Well, that was the biggest load of BS he’d ever heard. “Bullshit.”
“I ask you about your dad. What he did to you … and you shut me down.”
“You asked me if I was okay with it, and I told you I was.”
“But you’re clearly not.”
He squeezed his eyes closed, willing himself not to lose his cool with her. “I think I remember telling you when we first met that when a guy says he’s fine, he means he’s fine!” So much for keeping his cool.
“Don’t shout at me!”
Disbelieving at the insensible, illogical fight unfurling out of control, Jai grimaced. She was shouting at him. “You’re nuts.”
Definitely the wrong thing to say.
Hurt settled into her features before she drew herself up. “Thanks for the talk. Dick.”
She moved to hurry past him but Jai wasn’t done. Frustration, longing, lust, love, anger, it all mingled together in a need to have her see the truth. In a need to just … have her.
His arm shot out quick as lightning, his hand curling around her bicep as he yanked her down over him. He fell back against the sofa cushions, rearranging her as she huffed and fussed so that she was straddling his lap. She tried to bat away his hands but he grabbed her wrists, restraining her so she was pressed flush against him, their faces not even an inch apart. Jai stared into her unusual eyes, eyes that searched his frantically. “Did we make a mistake, Jai?” she whispered, her breath teasing his lips. “Did we move too fast?”