Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
Page 58

“I know, sir,” I stepped in. “It was all my fault. Really, she had nothing to do with it.”
“No, no, no,” Lily disagreed. “I was the one who hung that poster. It was a joke. But that made the mommies go a lit le crazy.”
“Seriously,” I said, turning to Lily, “you did nothing but help. It’s me they wanted.”
“No, I’m the one they thought was stealing the baby. And believe me, I don’t even want a baby.”
“Neither of you is to blame,” Of icer White interrupted.
Of icer Black pointed her finger at Boris. “If there’s anyone at fault, it’s the one on all fours.” Boris shuf led back guiltily.
O cer White looked at me. “As for Johnny One-Eye, we can’t nd anything actually wrong with him. So even if you happened to hit him with a snowbal in the middle of a snowbal fight—and I’m not saying you did or didn’t—no harm, no foul.”
“Does that mean we’re free to go?” Lily asked.
Of icer Black nodded. “You’ve got quite a posse waiting for you outside.” O cer Black wasn’t kidding. Boomer was there with not only Yohnny and Dov but So a and Priya as well. And it looked like Lily’s whole family was waiting in the wings, presided over by Mrs. Basil E.
“Take a look!” Boomer said, holding up two printouts, one from the Post website, one from the Daily News.
Both had a dazzling photo of the baby falling into Lily’s arms.
OUR HERO! shouted the Daily News.
BABY STEALER! cried the Post.
“There are reporters outside,” Mrs. Basil E. informed us. “Most of them quite indecent.” Of icer Black turned to us.
“Well, then—do you want to be celebrities or not?”
Lily and I looked at each other.
The answer was pret y clear.
“Not,” I said.
“Definitely not,” Lily added.
“The back door it is, then!” Of icer Black said. “follow me.”
With the crowds that had come to fetch us, Lily and I lost each other in the shu e. So a was asking if I was okay, Boomer was enthusing that Lily and I had finally met, and the rest were just taking it all in.
We didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. The doors opened and the police told us to move quickly, because the reporters would catch on quick.
She went her way with her people, and I went my way with mine.
I felt a weight in my pocket.
Sly girl, she’d slipped me the notebook.
eighteen
(Lily)
December 30th
The news of the world travels fast and far. Even to Fiji.
They didn’t know it, but I was intermit ently muting my computer speakers while my parents ranted from their side of our video chat.
Occasionally I’d click the speakers back on to hear snippets of their tirade:
“How are we supposed to trust you on your own, Lily, if—”
Mute.
Their hands flailed madly about from across the world while my hands concentrated on my new knit ing project.
“Who is this Dash? Does Grandpa know about—”
Mute.
I watched as Mom and Dad furiously tried to pack luggage while yelling at their computer.
“We’re late for our flight! We’ll be lucky to make it. Do you know how many calls we’ve—” Mute.
Dad appeared to be yelling at his cell phone for ringing again. Mom peered into the computer screen.
“Where has Langston been all this time—”
Mute.
I continued working on my newest creation: a pin-striped, jail-uniform-themed doggy sweater for Boris. I looked up to see Mom’s index finger wagging at me.
Un-mute.
“And one more thing, Lily!” Mom’s face peered as close as she possibly could to her computer screen. I’d never noticed before, but she had truly excellent pores, which could only bode well for my own aging process.
“Yes, Mommy?” I asked as Dad sat on their hotel bed behind her, ailing his arms around again, explaining the situation again to someone calling his phone again.
“That was a marvelous catch, darling.”
Grandpa was driving through Delaware (the toll capital of the highway world, he says) when Mr. Borscht called his cell to tell him about the headline, followed by calls from scandalized Messrs. Curry and Cannoli. First Grandpa almost had a heart at ack while driving. Then he went to McDonald’s for a Big Mac to calm himself down. Then he called Langston and yelled at him for allowing me to become a jailbird and an international celebrity in the few hours since Langston was supposed to be in charge after Grandpa left back for Florida. Grandpa then turned around and returned to Manhat an, arriving home just in time for Langston and Mrs. Basil E. to bring me home from the police station.
“You’re grounded until your parents get home to take care of this mess!” Grandpa screeched at me. He pointed at poor lit le Boris. “And keep that terror dog away from my cat upstairs!” Boris barked loudly and appeared poised to topple Grandpa, too.
“Sit, Boris,” I told the beast.
Boris plopped down onto the floor and placed his head across my feet. He hissed a low growl in Grandpa’s direction.
“I don’t think Boris and I agree about being grounded,” I told Grandpa.
“This is nonsense, Arthur,” Mrs. Basil E. chimed in. “Lily didn’t do anything wrong. It was all a big misunderstanding. She saved a baby! It’s not like she stole a car and went out joyriding.”