Dead of Winter
Page 71

He wasn’t. And he was even less used to answering that question. Aric would never tell Jack.
Selena continued, “But then the Reaper says, ‘My name is Aric Dom?nija.’”
My eyes went wide. Just like everything else about Aric, his name had come out into the world. I found my lips curving. Until I thought of my looming decision. Pain awaited me either way.
Selena cocked her head. “If J.D. can tolerate Dom nija, then I guess I can too. It’s easier when the Reaper isn’t raising a sword or wearing that creepy helmet.”
Aric had kept it stowed on his saddle more often than not. To some degree, he must trust Selena and Jack not to strike. And maybe he felt our strength in numbers against an outside threat.
Perhaps he’d realized all these fascinating new interactions were easier with his face unconcealed.
Jack received a transceiver call from Rodrigo then, answering with important-sounding military lingo.
“Didn’t I tell you he was a leader?” Selena all but sighed. “Isn’t he amazing?”
I got the weirdest impression that she was selling me on him. Or was she just bragging?
“I’m glad you got to see J.D. with the army last night.”
Jack had given an inspiring speech about being a force for good—providing protection for survivors. And he’d outlined a game plan.
Azey South was marching to Louisiana to start work on a new settlement. Azey North would descend upon the Shrine, eliminating the Bagger infestation to secure all the supplies.
Then the two armies would unify again to form New Acadiana.
Jack had been magnetic, giving folks a new story to tell. Hope had been palpable. Even as the temperature dropped—and night endured.
I gazed up at the murky sky. “Selena, you ever think the sun will come out?” The question reminded me of Jack’s words: You ever think we deserve better than the Basin? If he’d had the courage to hope, shouldn’t I as well?
Selena rolled her eyes. “If the sun can disappear, it can reappear. Really, Evie. Duh.” She took out her canteen, trying to open it, about to take the top off with her teeth.
I leaned over and yanked it from her. What was I going to do with this girl? “Here.” I handed it back, opened for her.
She chugged, swiping her coat sleeve over her chin. “Hey, drop back a little. Want to talk to you.”
Was she finally going to confide in me about her ordeal? I’d asked her a few times, but she always refused. “Anything you want to discuss, Selena. I’m here.”
“Not about . . . that. I’ve put that time out of my head.” The circles under her eyes belied her nonchalance.
“You can’t just ignore it.”
Her signature the hell expression firmly in place, she said, “Do you think about the cannibals you laid out? Or the time you almost ate raw human? Or the plague victims you offed? Yeah, I heard about that. You don’t dwell on painful stuff. Neither will I.”
I hadn’t given up on getting her to confide in me, but I backed off for now. “Then what’s on your mind?”
“What’s going on with you and Jack?”
Excellent question from the Archer. “Well, we talked after his speech, about the past few days and such.” Without a word, he’d led me behind a tent. . . .
“How you leaning, peekôn?”
“I wish you hadn’t broken your promise to me.” He kept risking his life, going above and beyond, and I wasn’t having it.
“These Azey soldiers respond to courage, and they needed to see it in someone they might back. Can you understand my thinking?”
I could. At so many points in this journey, I’d marveled at Jack’s bravery. Though he was vulnerable, he put himself out there. Death was impervious, yet he only wanted to return to his sanctuary.
However . . . “And in the Shrine, Jack? What was that?”
Color tinged his cheeks. “I’ve probably done smarter things, me.”
“If I picture us together, I see us working as a team, making decisions together. Not this Jack-runs-off-to-save-the-day shit.” Otherwise, I should be with Death. Who at least was doing better—not worse. . . .
Now I batted away a wisp of ash, telling Selena, “He and I discussed my grandmother. I still want to find her, but Azey South’s marching tomorrow.”
Jack had grinned at my concern. “I can give them damn directions, Evie. Me and you’ll take some men and head to the Outer Banks. After we find her, we’ll meet up with the others in Louisiana.” He sounded so confident. “You want to end the game, Evangeline? Then we will. Remember, together we can do anything. . . .”
“Then Jack and I touched on other stuff.” Such as him finding something meaningful with the babe beside me.
He pinned my gaze with his own. “Selena’s an ally and a friend, but she’ll never be more than that. Because it’s you for me, peekôn.” He curled his finger under my chin. “When she’s nearby, she doan make everything in me light up like goddamned fireworks. You think I can give her my heart? After I already gave it to you? I can’t offer what I doan have.”
I cleared my throat, face flushing under Selena’s scrutiny. “And, uh, we discussed Death.”
“If you choose the Reaper because you feel more for him, then I got to accept that, me. But doan choose him because you got sympathy for someone with a shit fate.” He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against mine. “I got one too.”
“What does that mean?”
“I told you I couldn’t keep doing life after the Flash, not without you. That’s changed. I will go on—’cause I got a job to do now—but I will never be right. I’ve got to feel you with my every step, Evangeline.”
I managed a casual shrug for the Archer. “We didn’t get to talk long. Rodrigo needed him for that Shrine incursion meeting.” Jack had pressed a kiss to the top of my head, then reluctantly left me.
“Uh-huh. And did you talk to Death?”
“Briefly. He was scarce for most of the night.” At every opportunity, he read those chronicles, looking more engrossed than I’d ever seen him. Translating them must be critical, because his campaign to win me had taken a backseat.
When I caught up with him, I’d pressed him to tell me about his history with the Emperor.
“I can deny you nothing,” Aric said with a defeated exhalation. “In the game before last, he killed you. I hadn’t found you yet, hadn’t had a chance to determine what you were like. Or if we could be together.” He clenched his fists, his eyes gone starry. “The Emperor murdered my wife.”