Ian takes another step forward, his fists clenched. “He was not your father. He was mine. So was our mother. But you killed them.” Ian’s voice rises. “You killed them both. My mother couldn’t stand to suffer over the loss of you, even though I was right there. She chose death instead. And my father—”
“Paid the price for his loyalty toward the Commander with his life while you watched. I know. You told me, remember? While you were busy lying to me about your background, because unlike a man of honor, you chose deception and murder as a means to get the vengeance you crave.”
I step forward, as much to put distance between me and my friends as to get closer to Ian. Quinn has already moved Rachel back another few yards. Behind the trackers who line the council steps, the triumvirate exits the building and stops to stare. I look at Ian. “I guess you and the Commander aren’t very different from each other, are you?”
Ian’s entire body vibrates, and he spits his words at me. “I have more honor in my little finger than you could find in the entire group of pathetic refugees from Baalboden. I remained loyal to my leader. To my city. Even in the face of my family’s disgrace.”
“Honor and loyalty require you to murder children? To poison innocents?” My voice is rising too. “To burn an entire city to the ground because you thought your life wasn’t fair?”
“Fair?” Ian is yelling now. “Let me tell you what isn’t fair. You spent your life in the lap of luxury, coddled by the Commander as his precious investment, while I spent mine scrambling to stay one step ahead of the disgrace my mother’s suicide and my father’s theft brought down on my head.”
“You idiot!” Frankie roars, whipping out his sword and closing the gap between him and me. “Logan’s Baalboden mother was flogged to death in front of him when he was just six years old. He was declared an outcast. He survived on the streets by begging or stealing or eating trash just to have enough to keep himself alive. Until you destroyed our city, most of us still wouldn’t have anything to do with him. He had a mountain of loss, neglect, and downright cruelty to overcome, but he didn’t turn around and start killing innocent people because of it.”
“He betrayed his family!” Ian’s voice rings across the square, full of terrible rage. “He left us to our disgrace.”
“I didn’t know.” I speak quietly, hoping to calm Ian. Hoping to stop the violence I see in his eyes. “Until two hours ago when a Lankenshire man who’d spent significant time in Rowansmark nineteen years ago recognized me, I didn’t know I was anything other than Logan McEntire from Baalboden.”
Ian’s laugh is harsh. “That’s very believable, Logan. Very. You delivered that lie with all the false sincerity with which you live your life.” He steps closer. “But I know you knew the truth. Jared Adams checked in with my father every six months, bringing progress reports on you and assuring us that you were healthy and happy. The same man who took you in as his apprentice and allowed you to court his daughter.” His voice shakes. “You were close to Jared, connected to him in every way, so don’t stand there and tell me you didn’t know the truth.”
“I didn’t . . .” My voice dries up. My air runs out. My heart is a frantic, caged thing beating against my chest.
Jared knew? All this time, he knew who I was and why the Commander hated me so much, but he never told me? I thought he respected me. Maybe even loved me. Earning his regard was one of the touchstones by which I lived my life.
Ian is still speaking, but I don’t hear a word he says. Who else knew? Oliver, who was closer to Jared than anyone but Rachel and who fed me, clothed me, and treated me like a son? Did he save me out of love, or was he tasked with making sure the Commander’s investment didn’t starve to death in an alley before I could be useful?
The pain of my mother’s lies, Jared’s secrecy, and Oliver’s uncertain motives slices into me, but I don’t have time to dwell on it.
Ian locks eyes with me and says, “Do you understand pain atonement, Logan? The pain must be commensurate with the crime. Most people survive the punishment. But if the crime is too big—if you’ve betrayed your family, your employers, your fellow citizens, and your leader by giving the power to rule the continent to the one man your leader hates beyond all others—the punishment is impossible to survive.”
“Marcus died. I get that.” My hand grips my sword with white knuckles. Two more steps and Ian will be in range. I can’t kill him, but I can maim him. If I take him out of the equation, perhaps we have a chance at fighting off the rest of the trackers. Perhaps none of them will summon the beast while they’re still well within its path of destruction. “But just because you lost your father—”
“I killed him!” Ian’s voice sounds desperate. “It was my test to be accepted into the ranks of the military council without the taint of my family’s disgrace clinging to me. I administered the pain atonement, and I watched him die.”
I stare at him in horrified silence as the emotion on his face slowly subsides, replaced by a slick mask of charm that fails to contain the twisted creature he’s become.
Had he always been like this? Always capable of murdering innocents and laying the blame on his inner demons? Or did he join our group hoping to find family with me, hoping to make me see things his way, only to be disappointed once again when I wasn’t who he needed me to be?
“Paid the price for his loyalty toward the Commander with his life while you watched. I know. You told me, remember? While you were busy lying to me about your background, because unlike a man of honor, you chose deception and murder as a means to get the vengeance you crave.”
I step forward, as much to put distance between me and my friends as to get closer to Ian. Quinn has already moved Rachel back another few yards. Behind the trackers who line the council steps, the triumvirate exits the building and stops to stare. I look at Ian. “I guess you and the Commander aren’t very different from each other, are you?”
Ian’s entire body vibrates, and he spits his words at me. “I have more honor in my little finger than you could find in the entire group of pathetic refugees from Baalboden. I remained loyal to my leader. To my city. Even in the face of my family’s disgrace.”
“Honor and loyalty require you to murder children? To poison innocents?” My voice is rising too. “To burn an entire city to the ground because you thought your life wasn’t fair?”
“Fair?” Ian is yelling now. “Let me tell you what isn’t fair. You spent your life in the lap of luxury, coddled by the Commander as his precious investment, while I spent mine scrambling to stay one step ahead of the disgrace my mother’s suicide and my father’s theft brought down on my head.”
“You idiot!” Frankie roars, whipping out his sword and closing the gap between him and me. “Logan’s Baalboden mother was flogged to death in front of him when he was just six years old. He was declared an outcast. He survived on the streets by begging or stealing or eating trash just to have enough to keep himself alive. Until you destroyed our city, most of us still wouldn’t have anything to do with him. He had a mountain of loss, neglect, and downright cruelty to overcome, but he didn’t turn around and start killing innocent people because of it.”
“He betrayed his family!” Ian’s voice rings across the square, full of terrible rage. “He left us to our disgrace.”
“I didn’t know.” I speak quietly, hoping to calm Ian. Hoping to stop the violence I see in his eyes. “Until two hours ago when a Lankenshire man who’d spent significant time in Rowansmark nineteen years ago recognized me, I didn’t know I was anything other than Logan McEntire from Baalboden.”
Ian’s laugh is harsh. “That’s very believable, Logan. Very. You delivered that lie with all the false sincerity with which you live your life.” He steps closer. “But I know you knew the truth. Jared Adams checked in with my father every six months, bringing progress reports on you and assuring us that you were healthy and happy. The same man who took you in as his apprentice and allowed you to court his daughter.” His voice shakes. “You were close to Jared, connected to him in every way, so don’t stand there and tell me you didn’t know the truth.”
“I didn’t . . .” My voice dries up. My air runs out. My heart is a frantic, caged thing beating against my chest.
Jared knew? All this time, he knew who I was and why the Commander hated me so much, but he never told me? I thought he respected me. Maybe even loved me. Earning his regard was one of the touchstones by which I lived my life.
Ian is still speaking, but I don’t hear a word he says. Who else knew? Oliver, who was closer to Jared than anyone but Rachel and who fed me, clothed me, and treated me like a son? Did he save me out of love, or was he tasked with making sure the Commander’s investment didn’t starve to death in an alley before I could be useful?
The pain of my mother’s lies, Jared’s secrecy, and Oliver’s uncertain motives slices into me, but I don’t have time to dwell on it.
Ian locks eyes with me and says, “Do you understand pain atonement, Logan? The pain must be commensurate with the crime. Most people survive the punishment. But if the crime is too big—if you’ve betrayed your family, your employers, your fellow citizens, and your leader by giving the power to rule the continent to the one man your leader hates beyond all others—the punishment is impossible to survive.”
“Marcus died. I get that.” My hand grips my sword with white knuckles. Two more steps and Ian will be in range. I can’t kill him, but I can maim him. If I take him out of the equation, perhaps we have a chance at fighting off the rest of the trackers. Perhaps none of them will summon the beast while they’re still well within its path of destruction. “But just because you lost your father—”
“I killed him!” Ian’s voice sounds desperate. “It was my test to be accepted into the ranks of the military council without the taint of my family’s disgrace clinging to me. I administered the pain atonement, and I watched him die.”
I stare at him in horrified silence as the emotion on his face slowly subsides, replaced by a slick mask of charm that fails to contain the twisted creature he’s become.
Had he always been like this? Always capable of murdering innocents and laying the blame on his inner demons? Or did he join our group hoping to find family with me, hoping to make me see things his way, only to be disappointed once again when I wasn’t who he needed me to be?
