Vaughn: Hey, where are you?
Brie: In my bed.
His brows pulled together.
Vaughn: Why?
Brie: Because I’m tired.
Vaughn: Oh, your toothbrush is here.
Brie: I have another one here.
He chewed on his lip and then looked over to see that Jensen was hovering.
“And you’re sure she didn’t break up with you?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” Pushing Jensen away, Vaughn went out his door and across the hall. After slamming his door shut, he started banging on her door. When she answered, her eyes were wide and red as she held a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, which meant she had been crying. Over him.
Opening the door wider, she let him in. “I guess you want in since you almost beat the door down.”
He walked past her, and she shut the door as he turned, meeting her gaze. “I thought you were coming over.”
“I wanted to be alone,” she said, taking a spoonful of ice cream and eating it. “I told you that.”
“You also said I would see you tonight.”
“I know. Here you are.”
“Because I came over.”
“Okay? I knew I’d see you.”
Holding her gaze, he knew there was a big “I love you” elephant between them. Covering his face, he let out a groan. “I don’t want what happened this afternoon to change us. We were great, Brie, so fucking good.”
“I know, and we still are. I just gotta lick my wounds a bit. I had my hopes up. I really thought you loved me too. It’s an awkward feeling, Vaughn. I’m not hurting, but it burns because I thought we were in love.”
Swallowing hard, he looked away. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me…because I feel it. I think. I don’t know.”
She scoffed. “If you loved me, you’d know.”
When he looked up, she was walking past him, heading toward her bedroom. And, of course, he followed her. “I don’t want things to be weird.”
“They’re not.” Setting her carton down, she turned as she started to undress. Standing in the doorway, unsure what to do, he watched as she undid her bra and slid off her panties before throwing them on the floor and climbing into bed. Seeing her naked, he wanted her, like always. But he couldn’t, not with how confused he was. Lying on her side, she looked over at him. “Are you coming to bed?”
He stayed where he was. “You’re not reverting to where I was, when I thought we were just fucking, right?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“This isn’t like a one-last-time kind of thing, is it?”
“No.” Sitting up, she held his gaze. “What do you want, Vaughn?”
“You. I want all of you.”
“You have me, and you could have more if you got in this bed right now.”
But he didn’t move. “I’m freaking out, Brie. I expected you to freak the fuck out on me. Scream at me. Tell me you hate me or something. I don’t know.”
“Why? I love you. Why would I do that when it is only going to depress me further? I feel I’ve done everything I can to be good for you. I can’t do anything else, except do what I promised, which is not to leave you. You show me you love me, though you won’t say it. Now I’m showing you the same until it’s over—”
He threw his hands up, his heart jumping into his throat. “See? I knew it! You’ve given up.”
“I haven’t given up. I just had a big reality check today, and it’s a hard pill to swallow.”
Still standing there, he had no clue what to do. A part of him wanted to get in the bed, and the other wanted to run. He was confused, and he felt like utter shit for that. He wanted to be the man she deserved. He wanted to do right by her because he knew she was the girl for him. She was his other half, yet he couldn’t say it. “Why does it matter?”
Her brows pulled together. “What?”
“The words. Why do they matter? If I’m here, if I’m supporting you and I would give it all up for you, why does it matter if I say them?”
Her lips pursed as she shrugged. “They didn’t, until now. When I know you won’t say them. I don’t know if it’s a fear thing or if it truly is that you don’t love me. But either way, I won’t say it again until you do, so don’t worry about that awkward feeling again.”
“But it’s not awkward. It’s right, it felt right.”
Looking away, she shook her head. “I can’t say them anymore. I won’t.”
Would he say it? Crap, what was wrong with him? “I don’t want us to fizzle out. If it’s going to end, I want it to end now.”
When he looked up, her brows were drawn in as she sat up slowly. “Excuse me?”
But he shook his head, running his hands down his face. “I don’t know. Like, do we break up?”
“Why? Do you want to break up?”
“No, but I don’t want to let you down! I don’t want to hurt you!” he yelled, his body shaking with anger. “I feel like a failure because I can’t figure me out. I want you, I want to be with you, and I want to love you. But why isn’t it clear?”
“I don’t know, Vaughn. It’s you, not me, and I’m not going round and round with you on this. If you want to be with me, get in this fucking bed. If you don’t, get the fuck out.”
Closing his eyes, he let out a harsh breath.
Pulling off his shirt and undoing his pants before throwing them on the floor, he sat on the bed before crawling beside her.
When she moved to kiss him, he shook his head. “I don’t want sex.”
She scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t just say that.”
But he didn’t laugh. “I just want to hold you.”
She blinked as her eyes started to fill with tears. She wrapped her body around his, and he held on to her as his nose pressed into hers. “This is more than sex,” he whispered, his lips moving along hers. “It’s always been more than sex.”
“I know, but why are you saying that?”
“Because I’m scared to lose you.”
“Vaughn, I’m here. I love you. And I know I just said I wouldn’t say it, but I can’t fucking help it,” she whispered, and then her eyes drifted shut. “Fuck, Vaughn, I’m not going anywhere.”
Brie: In my bed.
His brows pulled together.
Vaughn: Why?
Brie: Because I’m tired.
Vaughn: Oh, your toothbrush is here.
Brie: I have another one here.
He chewed on his lip and then looked over to see that Jensen was hovering.
“And you’re sure she didn’t break up with you?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” Pushing Jensen away, Vaughn went out his door and across the hall. After slamming his door shut, he started banging on her door. When she answered, her eyes were wide and red as she held a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, which meant she had been crying. Over him.
Opening the door wider, she let him in. “I guess you want in since you almost beat the door down.”
He walked past her, and she shut the door as he turned, meeting her gaze. “I thought you were coming over.”
“I wanted to be alone,” she said, taking a spoonful of ice cream and eating it. “I told you that.”
“You also said I would see you tonight.”
“I know. Here you are.”
“Because I came over.”
“Okay? I knew I’d see you.”
Holding her gaze, he knew there was a big “I love you” elephant between them. Covering his face, he let out a groan. “I don’t want what happened this afternoon to change us. We were great, Brie, so fucking good.”
“I know, and we still are. I just gotta lick my wounds a bit. I had my hopes up. I really thought you loved me too. It’s an awkward feeling, Vaughn. I’m not hurting, but it burns because I thought we were in love.”
Swallowing hard, he looked away. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me…because I feel it. I think. I don’t know.”
She scoffed. “If you loved me, you’d know.”
When he looked up, she was walking past him, heading toward her bedroom. And, of course, he followed her. “I don’t want things to be weird.”
“They’re not.” Setting her carton down, she turned as she started to undress. Standing in the doorway, unsure what to do, he watched as she undid her bra and slid off her panties before throwing them on the floor and climbing into bed. Seeing her naked, he wanted her, like always. But he couldn’t, not with how confused he was. Lying on her side, she looked over at him. “Are you coming to bed?”
He stayed where he was. “You’re not reverting to where I was, when I thought we were just fucking, right?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“This isn’t like a one-last-time kind of thing, is it?”
“No.” Sitting up, she held his gaze. “What do you want, Vaughn?”
“You. I want all of you.”
“You have me, and you could have more if you got in this bed right now.”
But he didn’t move. “I’m freaking out, Brie. I expected you to freak the fuck out on me. Scream at me. Tell me you hate me or something. I don’t know.”
“Why? I love you. Why would I do that when it is only going to depress me further? I feel I’ve done everything I can to be good for you. I can’t do anything else, except do what I promised, which is not to leave you. You show me you love me, though you won’t say it. Now I’m showing you the same until it’s over—”
He threw his hands up, his heart jumping into his throat. “See? I knew it! You’ve given up.”
“I haven’t given up. I just had a big reality check today, and it’s a hard pill to swallow.”
Still standing there, he had no clue what to do. A part of him wanted to get in the bed, and the other wanted to run. He was confused, and he felt like utter shit for that. He wanted to be the man she deserved. He wanted to do right by her because he knew she was the girl for him. She was his other half, yet he couldn’t say it. “Why does it matter?”
Her brows pulled together. “What?”
“The words. Why do they matter? If I’m here, if I’m supporting you and I would give it all up for you, why does it matter if I say them?”
Her lips pursed as she shrugged. “They didn’t, until now. When I know you won’t say them. I don’t know if it’s a fear thing or if it truly is that you don’t love me. But either way, I won’t say it again until you do, so don’t worry about that awkward feeling again.”
“But it’s not awkward. It’s right, it felt right.”
Looking away, she shook her head. “I can’t say them anymore. I won’t.”
Would he say it? Crap, what was wrong with him? “I don’t want us to fizzle out. If it’s going to end, I want it to end now.”
When he looked up, her brows were drawn in as she sat up slowly. “Excuse me?”
But he shook his head, running his hands down his face. “I don’t know. Like, do we break up?”
“Why? Do you want to break up?”
“No, but I don’t want to let you down! I don’t want to hurt you!” he yelled, his body shaking with anger. “I feel like a failure because I can’t figure me out. I want you, I want to be with you, and I want to love you. But why isn’t it clear?”
“I don’t know, Vaughn. It’s you, not me, and I’m not going round and round with you on this. If you want to be with me, get in this fucking bed. If you don’t, get the fuck out.”
Closing his eyes, he let out a harsh breath.
Pulling off his shirt and undoing his pants before throwing them on the floor, he sat on the bed before crawling beside her.
When she moved to kiss him, he shook his head. “I don’t want sex.”
She scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t just say that.”
But he didn’t laugh. “I just want to hold you.”
She blinked as her eyes started to fill with tears. She wrapped her body around his, and he held on to her as his nose pressed into hers. “This is more than sex,” he whispered, his lips moving along hers. “It’s always been more than sex.”
“I know, but why are you saying that?”
“Because I’m scared to lose you.”
“Vaughn, I’m here. I love you. And I know I just said I wouldn’t say it, but I can’t fucking help it,” she whispered, and then her eyes drifted shut. “Fuck, Vaughn, I’m not going anywhere.”
