Mekena leaned on the table, her eyes full of confusion. “You did, but I need more. I don’t understand.”
Brie shook her head because she knew it would feel better to talk to someone who knew her and Vaughn, rather than the poor ice cream boy. Breathing in deeply, she bit into her lip as she held Mekena’s gaze. “I told him I love him, and I know he loves me. I do. But he didn’t say it back. He drove himself crazy last night, didn’t sleep, just lay there tossing and turning. I almost just screamed at him that he loved me too, but I wasn’t sure how he would handle it, so I kept it to myself. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with him and I can’t stand it, but I don’t want to lose him. He’s so worried I’m going to leave him, and I’m so worried he’ll run out on me that I’m afraid we are pushing each other away.”
“Oh, Brie. That’s heavy.”
“So heavy, I can’t breathe,” Brie agreed, shaking her head. “I just love him. So fucking much and I know, I do know he loves me. But when he looked me in the eye and didn’t say it, it was like a slap in the face.”
“I’m sure,” Mekena said, her face full of concern.
“Mekena, he has grown so much, and I just don’t get it. I mean, what if I’m wrong? What if he doesn’t love me? But even that doesn’t feel right. I can see it in his eyes, he’s just scared, and I don’t know how to fix that.”
Mekena only shook her head. “I don’t either. When Markus told me he loved me, I practically screamed it back at him.”
Brie held her hands out at her. “See, and I swore that’s how it was going to go, but he clammed up on me.”
“That sucks. But if you know he does, why do you feel like you’re pushing each other away? Words are just words. If he makes you feel loved, then why does it matter?”
“He asked me that last night, and at first, it didn’t. I was just pissed I was wrong, but then the more I looked at it, I wondered why. Why couldn’t he say it? I just don’t get it. He’s beating himself up over how it all went down, I’m beating myself up thinking I’m wrong. This morning was so weird and so not us. We are playful, we’re funny and sexy, and it was like we were both robots going through the motions. Not us at all, and I cried the whole way here.”
Shaking her head, Brie leaned on her hand as Mekena’s lip popped out. “I’m so sorry. I hope it works. I know he makes you happy.”
Brie smiled as she nodded. “So damn happy, which is why I’m hurting so much about this.”
“I’m sure,” she commented just as Brie’s phone started to sing with “Shape of You,” the song that reminded her of Vaughn. A smile pulled at her lips as she remembered that night with him, dancing and being silly, before she reached for her phone to see that it was him.
“Sorry,” she said, and Mekena waved her off before she answered it. “Hey.”
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“I’m out at lunch with Mekena.”
“Oh, cool, that’s nice.”
“Yeah, are you done with morning skate?”
“Yeah, I was thinking about you.”
She smiled. “I was just talking about you.”
“No wonder my ears were burning.”
“I thought it was that your nose itched.”
He laughed. “How does that have anything to do with someone talking about you?”
“Your mouth goes dry?”
He kept laughing. “No, dork, it’s your ears burn.”
“Hm. Okay. I’m going to Google that,” she said with a smile as she leaned on her hand. “Did you need something?”
“Just wanted to chat.”
“Oh. Well, let me get off here. I’m being rude, we’ll chat later.”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“I don’t like how we left this morning.”
Her lips curved a bit. “I don’t either.”
“It was weird.”
“It was.”
“And I hate being weird. I don’t want this to start to suck. That doesn’t work for me.”
“Me either.”
“You mean everything to me, Brie.”
Her heart swelled. “Right back at you, stud.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know, me too.”
He paused for a moment, and then he said, “I was wrong.”
“About?”
“Everything,” he answered with a sigh. “I handled everything wrong.”
“Okay,” she said softly as her heart pounded, unsure what he meant. “I told you last night it was okay.”
“But it’s not. Listen, we need to talk. Can you come back to my place?”
“I can’t. I have a hair and makeup appointment, and then I gotta go do media. Remember?”
“That’s right.” He let out a breath. “Can you come over tonight?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
She heard him exhale again, and then he cleared his throat. “Okay. Go enjoy your lunch.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Bye,” he said, and he sounded so sad, she almost didn’t hang up. She wasn’t sure what he was talking about when he said he had handled everything wrong. She thought she had already reassured him that it was all okay, that she wasn’t going anywhere, but he sounded so pathetic. So unlike himself.
She wasn’t sure how to take that, and it worried her.
Had she been wrong about everything?
Was he ending it?
Looking in the mirror as her hair was being touched up along with her makeup, Brie felt her stomach all tied up in knots. She was worried about seeing Vaughn that night. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but something wasn’t sitting right. She had been so confident about them. But after that phone call, she was worried. She knew things would be weird; she had professed her love for him, and he didn’t accept it. It wasn’t going to be smooth sailing, but she believed in them. Especially after he fought for them against Elli.
At that moment, she knew he loved her, but it blew her away that he didn’t know. Or that he did, and he wouldn’t acknowledge it. Either way, she worried that he was on the run. That he was on his way out because he couldn’t handle what he was feeling. The thing was, she didn’t know how to keep him. How to convince him to just ride it out, that it would work because they were right. Damn it, they were so fucking right.
Brie shook her head because she knew it would feel better to talk to someone who knew her and Vaughn, rather than the poor ice cream boy. Breathing in deeply, she bit into her lip as she held Mekena’s gaze. “I told him I love him, and I know he loves me. I do. But he didn’t say it back. He drove himself crazy last night, didn’t sleep, just lay there tossing and turning. I almost just screamed at him that he loved me too, but I wasn’t sure how he would handle it, so I kept it to myself. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with him and I can’t stand it, but I don’t want to lose him. He’s so worried I’m going to leave him, and I’m so worried he’ll run out on me that I’m afraid we are pushing each other away.”
“Oh, Brie. That’s heavy.”
“So heavy, I can’t breathe,” Brie agreed, shaking her head. “I just love him. So fucking much and I know, I do know he loves me. But when he looked me in the eye and didn’t say it, it was like a slap in the face.”
“I’m sure,” Mekena said, her face full of concern.
“Mekena, he has grown so much, and I just don’t get it. I mean, what if I’m wrong? What if he doesn’t love me? But even that doesn’t feel right. I can see it in his eyes, he’s just scared, and I don’t know how to fix that.”
Mekena only shook her head. “I don’t either. When Markus told me he loved me, I practically screamed it back at him.”
Brie held her hands out at her. “See, and I swore that’s how it was going to go, but he clammed up on me.”
“That sucks. But if you know he does, why do you feel like you’re pushing each other away? Words are just words. If he makes you feel loved, then why does it matter?”
“He asked me that last night, and at first, it didn’t. I was just pissed I was wrong, but then the more I looked at it, I wondered why. Why couldn’t he say it? I just don’t get it. He’s beating himself up over how it all went down, I’m beating myself up thinking I’m wrong. This morning was so weird and so not us. We are playful, we’re funny and sexy, and it was like we were both robots going through the motions. Not us at all, and I cried the whole way here.”
Shaking her head, Brie leaned on her hand as Mekena’s lip popped out. “I’m so sorry. I hope it works. I know he makes you happy.”
Brie smiled as she nodded. “So damn happy, which is why I’m hurting so much about this.”
“I’m sure,” she commented just as Brie’s phone started to sing with “Shape of You,” the song that reminded her of Vaughn. A smile pulled at her lips as she remembered that night with him, dancing and being silly, before she reached for her phone to see that it was him.
“Sorry,” she said, and Mekena waved her off before she answered it. “Hey.”
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“I’m out at lunch with Mekena.”
“Oh, cool, that’s nice.”
“Yeah, are you done with morning skate?”
“Yeah, I was thinking about you.”
She smiled. “I was just talking about you.”
“No wonder my ears were burning.”
“I thought it was that your nose itched.”
He laughed. “How does that have anything to do with someone talking about you?”
“Your mouth goes dry?”
He kept laughing. “No, dork, it’s your ears burn.”
“Hm. Okay. I’m going to Google that,” she said with a smile as she leaned on her hand. “Did you need something?”
“Just wanted to chat.”
“Oh. Well, let me get off here. I’m being rude, we’ll chat later.”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“I don’t like how we left this morning.”
Her lips curved a bit. “I don’t either.”
“It was weird.”
“It was.”
“And I hate being weird. I don’t want this to start to suck. That doesn’t work for me.”
“Me either.”
“You mean everything to me, Brie.”
Her heart swelled. “Right back at you, stud.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know, me too.”
He paused for a moment, and then he said, “I was wrong.”
“About?”
“Everything,” he answered with a sigh. “I handled everything wrong.”
“Okay,” she said softly as her heart pounded, unsure what he meant. “I told you last night it was okay.”
“But it’s not. Listen, we need to talk. Can you come back to my place?”
“I can’t. I have a hair and makeup appointment, and then I gotta go do media. Remember?”
“That’s right.” He let out a breath. “Can you come over tonight?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
She heard him exhale again, and then he cleared his throat. “Okay. Go enjoy your lunch.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Bye,” he said, and he sounded so sad, she almost didn’t hang up. She wasn’t sure what he was talking about when he said he had handled everything wrong. She thought she had already reassured him that it was all okay, that she wasn’t going anywhere, but he sounded so pathetic. So unlike himself.
She wasn’t sure how to take that, and it worried her.
Had she been wrong about everything?
Was he ending it?
Looking in the mirror as her hair was being touched up along with her makeup, Brie felt her stomach all tied up in knots. She was worried about seeing Vaughn that night. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but something wasn’t sitting right. She had been so confident about them. But after that phone call, she was worried. She knew things would be weird; she had professed her love for him, and he didn’t accept it. It wasn’t going to be smooth sailing, but she believed in them. Especially after he fought for them against Elli.
At that moment, she knew he loved her, but it blew her away that he didn’t know. Or that he did, and he wouldn’t acknowledge it. Either way, she worried that he was on the run. That he was on his way out because he couldn’t handle what he was feeling. The thing was, she didn’t know how to keep him. How to convince him to just ride it out, that it would work because they were right. Damn it, they were so fucking right.
