She could see that he didn’t want to answer. The hesitation was all over his face as he looked at her, his lips parting but no words coming out. Finally, he cleared his throat. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me, because I need something to keep me from breaking in to your house and killing you tonight.”
He scoffed. “But you already hit me.”
She glared. “I can hit you again.”
“I don’t know about your hand—”
“Vaughn!”
Running his hands through his hair, he held her gaze. “Fine. I don’t want my name to get in the way of what I’m doing. I don’t like people coming to me. I like finding people who need help, not people who want to throw money at me to get in because of who I am. I want to help people, but I want to do it on my terms, in secret, and I want to do it by honoring my brother too.”
A lump entered her throat. “Honor him?”
“Yeah, he died several years back. His name was Nathan.”
Looking away, she tried to swallow past the lump. Maybe she had misread this guy. She had assumed he was some spoiled rich kid, and maybe he was, but she could see in his eyes that he had suffered so much loss. He had that vacant look in his eyes, the same one she had, and she didn’t understand the emotions that were flooding her at that moment. Ignoring those feelings as they started to drown her, she muttered, “You’re right, that is hard to believe. You not wanting to show off and all. Get all the glory for doing amazing things for people.”
He scoffed. “I’m not that big of a lying, assholey douche.”
When she looked up at him, she saw that he was moving, coming toward her with his eyes intently on hers. But she shook her head. “That doesn’t change anything. I can’t trust you.”
Pausing in front of her, he reached above her head, pressing his hand into the door. “You can.”
But she shook her head again. Yes, he was gorgeous, and maybe her heart melted a little bit with his story. But before this revelation, she had known she was in trouble the moment she heard Nate Way’s voice. Now that she knew who he really was, she couldn’t let it happen. If she trusted Vaughn Johansson, he would hurt her. He might not hurt Rodney, but he would hurt her for the simple fact that he hated her. He had said it himself, and he wasn’t the kind of person she could trust. Since she sure as hell didn’t like him, how was she was supposed to leave her brother with the people he trusted and be able to keep her anxiety in check?
Yeah, right.
“I can’t.”
“Do you honestly think I would hurt Rodney?”
She knew that answer with all her heart. “No. I don’t.”
“Then, why not?”
“Because you’ll hurt me.”
“How?”
“I don’t know, but you’ll do something. Use Rod against me. Make him love you more and then cut me out. Hell, I don’t know! But because you hate me, you’ll do something to hurt me even more.”
“So this isn’t about you not trusting me, it’s about jealousy?”
She scoffed. “No, I was using those as examples.”
He gave her a knowing look, and thankfully, didn’t call her on her lie. She didn’t like that she was jealous of him. Of the relationship he had developed with her brother behind her back. But she was. She thought she was Rodney’s best friend, but all he did was talk about “Nate” and how he wanted to live in the awesome place that Nate had made. With his bare hands, mind you. Rod had one foot out the door as she’d said earlier, and he hadn’t denied it. He wanted to start his life. What if that life left Brie out?
“Listen, Brie, that boy loves you,” Vaughn said then, his eyes holding hers intently once she looked up at him. Her breathing started to speed up. “I can promise you that. Everything is about B and his mom. I won’t ever come between you, nor do I want to. I only want to help you guys out. Give him a life worth living.”
“He has a life worth living!”
He nodded as his hands slowly rose. “You’re right, but a better life.”
Her gaze was locked with his. She was getting lost in the dark depths that made her think of Cocoa Pebbles. God, she was such a food whore, because now she was hungry. This was not the time to be thinking of food when she was staring into the eyes of a very hot Vaughn Johansson and arguing about her brother. Jesus, she was a lunatic. Or yet, he made her a lunatic. Ten minutes ago, she had wanted to gut him, and now she wanted to eat cereal with him? Or off him… Oh God, what was wrong with her? She had to stay away from this dude.
“I can’t trust you,” she said once more, and he closed his eyes, letting out a long breath. “How can I trust you? How can I trust that Rod would be okay?”
“Because I wouldn’t let anything happen to him. I would die before anything happened to him or my people back at NateWay. I can promise you that.” She went to argue, but he shook his head quickly, stopping her. “Listen, I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. “Excuse me?”
He shot her a smirk. “Yeah, this doesn’t happen often—soak it in—but I am. I’m truly sorry. I should have told you, but I really didn’t want anything to keep Rodney from moving in to a community that would help him grow as an individual and is somewhere he can be happy. I hate that I lied to you, and if I could, I would redo it and change that. But seriously, I had only Rod’s best interest in mind. Not yours. And I apologize for that.”
Never, in all her days of knowing Vaughn, had she thought he would ever apologize for anything. He did what he did, and if someone didn’t like it, he didn’t care. She didn’t even think he knew the words. Yet, he stood in front of her, his eyes pleading with hers as he said them. Loudly and with meaning.
Could she trust him?
Should she trust him?
Looking away, she closed her eyes as she wished her mother were there. Her mother was a wonderful judge of character. But then, so was Rodney, and he loved Vaughn. She heard it in his voice when he called to him in the hall. Saw it on his face when they interacted, cupping shoulders and laughing. Was it fair to make him suffer because of her hatred toward this guy?
Why was this so hard?
She just knew it was all too good to be true! Nothing like a basically free community for Down syndrome adults would come to her without some kind of wrench thrown in there. Vaughn was her wrench, and as much as she hated him, as much as she wanted to tell him to fuck off, she held back.
“Try me, because I need something to keep me from breaking in to your house and killing you tonight.”
He scoffed. “But you already hit me.”
She glared. “I can hit you again.”
“I don’t know about your hand—”
“Vaughn!”
Running his hands through his hair, he held her gaze. “Fine. I don’t want my name to get in the way of what I’m doing. I don’t like people coming to me. I like finding people who need help, not people who want to throw money at me to get in because of who I am. I want to help people, but I want to do it on my terms, in secret, and I want to do it by honoring my brother too.”
A lump entered her throat. “Honor him?”
“Yeah, he died several years back. His name was Nathan.”
Looking away, she tried to swallow past the lump. Maybe she had misread this guy. She had assumed he was some spoiled rich kid, and maybe he was, but she could see in his eyes that he had suffered so much loss. He had that vacant look in his eyes, the same one she had, and she didn’t understand the emotions that were flooding her at that moment. Ignoring those feelings as they started to drown her, she muttered, “You’re right, that is hard to believe. You not wanting to show off and all. Get all the glory for doing amazing things for people.”
He scoffed. “I’m not that big of a lying, assholey douche.”
When she looked up at him, she saw that he was moving, coming toward her with his eyes intently on hers. But she shook her head. “That doesn’t change anything. I can’t trust you.”
Pausing in front of her, he reached above her head, pressing his hand into the door. “You can.”
But she shook her head again. Yes, he was gorgeous, and maybe her heart melted a little bit with his story. But before this revelation, she had known she was in trouble the moment she heard Nate Way’s voice. Now that she knew who he really was, she couldn’t let it happen. If she trusted Vaughn Johansson, he would hurt her. He might not hurt Rodney, but he would hurt her for the simple fact that he hated her. He had said it himself, and he wasn’t the kind of person she could trust. Since she sure as hell didn’t like him, how was she was supposed to leave her brother with the people he trusted and be able to keep her anxiety in check?
Yeah, right.
“I can’t.”
“Do you honestly think I would hurt Rodney?”
She knew that answer with all her heart. “No. I don’t.”
“Then, why not?”
“Because you’ll hurt me.”
“How?”
“I don’t know, but you’ll do something. Use Rod against me. Make him love you more and then cut me out. Hell, I don’t know! But because you hate me, you’ll do something to hurt me even more.”
“So this isn’t about you not trusting me, it’s about jealousy?”
She scoffed. “No, I was using those as examples.”
He gave her a knowing look, and thankfully, didn’t call her on her lie. She didn’t like that she was jealous of him. Of the relationship he had developed with her brother behind her back. But she was. She thought she was Rodney’s best friend, but all he did was talk about “Nate” and how he wanted to live in the awesome place that Nate had made. With his bare hands, mind you. Rod had one foot out the door as she’d said earlier, and he hadn’t denied it. He wanted to start his life. What if that life left Brie out?
“Listen, Brie, that boy loves you,” Vaughn said then, his eyes holding hers intently once she looked up at him. Her breathing started to speed up. “I can promise you that. Everything is about B and his mom. I won’t ever come between you, nor do I want to. I only want to help you guys out. Give him a life worth living.”
“He has a life worth living!”
He nodded as his hands slowly rose. “You’re right, but a better life.”
Her gaze was locked with his. She was getting lost in the dark depths that made her think of Cocoa Pebbles. God, she was such a food whore, because now she was hungry. This was not the time to be thinking of food when she was staring into the eyes of a very hot Vaughn Johansson and arguing about her brother. Jesus, she was a lunatic. Or yet, he made her a lunatic. Ten minutes ago, she had wanted to gut him, and now she wanted to eat cereal with him? Or off him… Oh God, what was wrong with her? She had to stay away from this dude.
“I can’t trust you,” she said once more, and he closed his eyes, letting out a long breath. “How can I trust you? How can I trust that Rod would be okay?”
“Because I wouldn’t let anything happen to him. I would die before anything happened to him or my people back at NateWay. I can promise you that.” She went to argue, but he shook his head quickly, stopping her. “Listen, I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. “Excuse me?”
He shot her a smirk. “Yeah, this doesn’t happen often—soak it in—but I am. I’m truly sorry. I should have told you, but I really didn’t want anything to keep Rodney from moving in to a community that would help him grow as an individual and is somewhere he can be happy. I hate that I lied to you, and if I could, I would redo it and change that. But seriously, I had only Rod’s best interest in mind. Not yours. And I apologize for that.”
Never, in all her days of knowing Vaughn, had she thought he would ever apologize for anything. He did what he did, and if someone didn’t like it, he didn’t care. She didn’t even think he knew the words. Yet, he stood in front of her, his eyes pleading with hers as he said them. Loudly and with meaning.
Could she trust him?
Should she trust him?
Looking away, she closed her eyes as she wished her mother were there. Her mother was a wonderful judge of character. But then, so was Rodney, and he loved Vaughn. She heard it in his voice when he called to him in the hall. Saw it on his face when they interacted, cupping shoulders and laughing. Was it fair to make him suffer because of her hatred toward this guy?
Why was this so hard?
She just knew it was all too good to be true! Nothing like a basically free community for Down syndrome adults would come to her without some kind of wrench thrown in there. Vaughn was her wrench, and as much as she hated him, as much as she wanted to tell him to fuck off, she held back.
