“I’ve never told anyone this.”
“Well, thank you for telling me.”
“Wren tells me that I wear this shell and hide in it. That I’m two different people. But before all that, I used to be one. Before Hazel.”
“I believe it,” she whispered.
“And the thing is, I want to be one again.”
“I want that for you.”
“But I’m not sure how, and it scares me.”
“I understand that. But, Vaughn, you are both. You just put up this tough exterior and push people away. You don’t need to do that. Wear your past as a badge of honor. I do. You survived, you picked yourself up, and now look. You’re building more NateWays, you’re giving good lives to good people, and you’re kicking ass in the NHL. You’re amazing.”
As he swallowed hard, he clenched his jaw before he looked over at her. “Even with all that, I can’t shake that I hurt you.”
“Well…”
“I hate it. I hate what I did to you.” As he held her gaze, her eyes started to fill with tears, and she was rendered speechless. “I didn’t want to.”
“I know, and the more I think about it, the more I don’t think you even realized you were hurting me.”
“No. I think I did,” he admitted, looking away and out toward the path. She fully expected him to get up and run, but he didn’t. “Jensen warned me. He told me to be honest, but I wanted you so damn bad. I was selfish to think that maybe you could be the kind of girl who would just fuck me but want nothing else, just like me.”
“That’s not me.”
“I know. I knew that too, but I didn’t want to lose you.”
Swallowing hard, she wiped away her tear. “But you did.”
His shoulders fell, and he sighed. “I know, but I didn’t know I wanted you this bad.”
“See…I did know.”
“So you wouldn’t consider giving me another chance?”
As she met his gaze, her lips twitched and she wiped away another tear. “I can’t.”
Looking away, he closed his eyes. “You could.”
“No, and let me explain why.” Reaching out, she took his hands, and he looked back to her. “I don’t want someone who doesn’t know what they want. I don’t want to get into this with you, and all of sudden, you’re like, eh, never mind. I want someone who wants me, all of me. I deserve that. I’ve been with someone like you. Someone who is confused and broken. He never fought for me. He didn’t even stand beside me when my mom died. He ran out, leaving me broken, and I can’t do that again. No matter how you make me feel—and, Vaughn, you make me feel things I’ve never felt—I have to stay true to myself. I need a man who will respect me, appreciate my worth, and give me the future I want.”
“I know—”
“Let me finish,” she pleaded. “I want the whole nine. I want the beautiful relationship full of hot sex. I want a partner. Someone to help me carry the load with Rodney. Someone to love him like I do.”
“You know I love him—”
“Vaughn, listen to me.” He snapped his mouth shut and just listened to her. “I want the proposal that takes my breath away. The wedding fit for a queen because I deserve that. I want kids and dogs, lots of dogs.” Her voice broke as she closed her eyes. “I want to grow old with this person and know in my soul that he loved me until his last breath or mine. I want to feel important and loved—because I haven’t felt that way in a real long time. And, Vaughn, you have the most beautiful words, but your actions… They break me. I can’t. I can’t do it.”
Standing up, she dropped his hands before taking a step to put space between them. “But give me a chance.”
“When you hear all that, do you see me? Do you see everything I want, with me?”
“Brie, we haven’t even gone on our first date—”
“But is the possibility there when you look at me?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I want it to be…”
“You just don’t sound sure enough. My mom always used to say, ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.’ I won’t let it happen again.”
He stood then, coming to her, but she held her hands up. “I will never forget this moment, the moment when I saw who you are and what you’ve come from. This garden is the most beautiful tribute ever to your mother and brother. I am beyond proud of what you do for the people you built NateWay for. Maybe a part of me will always be yours, but perhaps that’s how life is. You leave pieces of yourself with everyone you’ve cared about. And I’m sorry, I truly am, but I can’t take the chance again.”
When his eyes started to fill with tears, she knew she had to get out of there. She turned and started for the path as he called out, “Brie, let me drive you home. Please.”
Her eyes closed as she shook her head. “I’ll get a cab.”
And as she walked away, a piece of her hoped he would stop her.
Try to fight for her.
But he let her go.
She knew that was it.
At least she had her closure.
Rolling over in her bed, Brie ran her hands down her face before hitting the alarm.
But wasn’t ringing.
“Oh, shit,” she muttered before kicking the blankets off since the doorbell was ringing like nuts. She was groggy. She had stayed up way too late, and right now, she was missing every hour she didn’t sleep. As she walked out of her bedroom that was a total mess of Ben & Jerry’s cartons and melting ice cream, she felt a little embarrassed. She had spent the night crying and throwing a pity party for herself. She wanted to say she was thankful for the closure she got from Vaughn, but she wasn’t. She was pretty sure it hurt more because now she knew she would never get to kiss Vaughn’s lips ever again. She knew that it was really over, and that hurt. It hurt a lot. Maybe she should have given him a chance, but she knew the moment he didn’t stop her that he didn’t want anything but sex. He couldn’t see her as more than a sex plaything, and that depressed her more than it should.
“Lord, I’m coming!”
She opened the door, and her eyes widened at the large bouquet of cream peonies. “Are you Brie Soledad?”
“Well, thank you for telling me.”
“Wren tells me that I wear this shell and hide in it. That I’m two different people. But before all that, I used to be one. Before Hazel.”
“I believe it,” she whispered.
“And the thing is, I want to be one again.”
“I want that for you.”
“But I’m not sure how, and it scares me.”
“I understand that. But, Vaughn, you are both. You just put up this tough exterior and push people away. You don’t need to do that. Wear your past as a badge of honor. I do. You survived, you picked yourself up, and now look. You’re building more NateWays, you’re giving good lives to good people, and you’re kicking ass in the NHL. You’re amazing.”
As he swallowed hard, he clenched his jaw before he looked over at her. “Even with all that, I can’t shake that I hurt you.”
“Well…”
“I hate it. I hate what I did to you.” As he held her gaze, her eyes started to fill with tears, and she was rendered speechless. “I didn’t want to.”
“I know, and the more I think about it, the more I don’t think you even realized you were hurting me.”
“No. I think I did,” he admitted, looking away and out toward the path. She fully expected him to get up and run, but he didn’t. “Jensen warned me. He told me to be honest, but I wanted you so damn bad. I was selfish to think that maybe you could be the kind of girl who would just fuck me but want nothing else, just like me.”
“That’s not me.”
“I know. I knew that too, but I didn’t want to lose you.”
Swallowing hard, she wiped away her tear. “But you did.”
His shoulders fell, and he sighed. “I know, but I didn’t know I wanted you this bad.”
“See…I did know.”
“So you wouldn’t consider giving me another chance?”
As she met his gaze, her lips twitched and she wiped away another tear. “I can’t.”
Looking away, he closed his eyes. “You could.”
“No, and let me explain why.” Reaching out, she took his hands, and he looked back to her. “I don’t want someone who doesn’t know what they want. I don’t want to get into this with you, and all of sudden, you’re like, eh, never mind. I want someone who wants me, all of me. I deserve that. I’ve been with someone like you. Someone who is confused and broken. He never fought for me. He didn’t even stand beside me when my mom died. He ran out, leaving me broken, and I can’t do that again. No matter how you make me feel—and, Vaughn, you make me feel things I’ve never felt—I have to stay true to myself. I need a man who will respect me, appreciate my worth, and give me the future I want.”
“I know—”
“Let me finish,” she pleaded. “I want the whole nine. I want the beautiful relationship full of hot sex. I want a partner. Someone to help me carry the load with Rodney. Someone to love him like I do.”
“You know I love him—”
“Vaughn, listen to me.” He snapped his mouth shut and just listened to her. “I want the proposal that takes my breath away. The wedding fit for a queen because I deserve that. I want kids and dogs, lots of dogs.” Her voice broke as she closed her eyes. “I want to grow old with this person and know in my soul that he loved me until his last breath or mine. I want to feel important and loved—because I haven’t felt that way in a real long time. And, Vaughn, you have the most beautiful words, but your actions… They break me. I can’t. I can’t do it.”
Standing up, she dropped his hands before taking a step to put space between them. “But give me a chance.”
“When you hear all that, do you see me? Do you see everything I want, with me?”
“Brie, we haven’t even gone on our first date—”
“But is the possibility there when you look at me?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I want it to be…”
“You just don’t sound sure enough. My mom always used to say, ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.’ I won’t let it happen again.”
He stood then, coming to her, but she held her hands up. “I will never forget this moment, the moment when I saw who you are and what you’ve come from. This garden is the most beautiful tribute ever to your mother and brother. I am beyond proud of what you do for the people you built NateWay for. Maybe a part of me will always be yours, but perhaps that’s how life is. You leave pieces of yourself with everyone you’ve cared about. And I’m sorry, I truly am, but I can’t take the chance again.”
When his eyes started to fill with tears, she knew she had to get out of there. She turned and started for the path as he called out, “Brie, let me drive you home. Please.”
Her eyes closed as she shook her head. “I’ll get a cab.”
And as she walked away, a piece of her hoped he would stop her.
Try to fight for her.
But he let her go.
She knew that was it.
At least she had her closure.
Rolling over in her bed, Brie ran her hands down her face before hitting the alarm.
But wasn’t ringing.
“Oh, shit,” she muttered before kicking the blankets off since the doorbell was ringing like nuts. She was groggy. She had stayed up way too late, and right now, she was missing every hour she didn’t sleep. As she walked out of her bedroom that was a total mess of Ben & Jerry’s cartons and melting ice cream, she felt a little embarrassed. She had spent the night crying and throwing a pity party for herself. She wanted to say she was thankful for the closure she got from Vaughn, but she wasn’t. She was pretty sure it hurt more because now she knew she would never get to kiss Vaughn’s lips ever again. She knew that it was really over, and that hurt. It hurt a lot. Maybe she should have given him a chance, but she knew the moment he didn’t stop her that he didn’t want anything but sex. He couldn’t see her as more than a sex plaything, and that depressed her more than it should.
“Lord, I’m coming!”
She opened the door, and her eyes widened at the large bouquet of cream peonies. “Are you Brie Soledad?”
