At least up here in the mountains we had no threat of flash floods, only the threat of mudslides covering the roads. I crossed my fingers that with every rainfall, the road to the city would remain clear. If we were cut off, it would take forever to dig our way out to get off the mountain. Not something I had time for.
I thought about the rumors of the underground city and the man in the Palms Casino—Elijah. I wondered if he was somehow connected to it. I doubted it, but I just didn’t know. I felt the rumors must have been based on reality, like most are. Rolling over in the bed, I leaned on my arm, contemplating what it would be like underground. How big of a city was it? How many people were walking around in there without knowing I existed up here? What was it like to live there?
So many questions and I had no answers whatsoever. Not even one hint of how it would be there. It made my heart jump, leaving it anxious and fluttering in my chest. It made me restless, eager to get a move on, eager to find it, even if it was the last thing I did.
It had been a long time since I’d had some sort of goal. This was what I needed. I needed this to focus my thoughts. I was going insane not having anything to concentrate on, not having anything to give me some hope for the future. It was agonizing and tortuous. I wasn’t the patient type, and having something to focus my energy on was a relief. It was a purpose, and I was going to find out everything I could about it. I was that driven.
“April?”
“Yeah, Jer.”
“Do you think Mom’s going to die?”
I turned back over, squinting my eyes as I looked at my baby brother. His face was a mask of concern, filled with features too old for such a young kid. It made my heart break, and I rushed over to give him a tight hug. “No, squirt. She’s not gonna die. She might not ever be the same, but she’s too tough a gal to die. Get me?” I ruffled his hair as I felt the hot tears leak from his eyes onto my shirt. He buried his face into my stomach and cried silently, never whimpering or calling out to anyone.
Mom was already gone as far as I was concerned. But how was it for Jeremy? What was he thinking about? My soul went out to the broken little boy still hiding deep inside the hard shell he had painstakingly built in the wake of being kidnapped. I wished there was something I could say to comfort him more, but the words were lodged in my throat and only silence remained.
Sucking in a breath, I licked my lips and attempted it one more time.
“Hey, it’s going to be alright. You hear me, Jer? I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll never leave you, and I’ll always be here. Don’t forget that, okay?” His head nodded softly in agreement as he tried to rub away the trails his tears had left behind on his face. He sniffled as I handed him a tissue. I was sure he didn’t want Mom to hear him. He would just bury his head into the pillow if she happened to walk in.
It hadn’t always been this way. Before they were taken by Christian’s hive, he was stuck to my mother like glue, her little sidekick. Now, a part of him had been ripped away prematurely, amputated, leaving him ragged and torn, orphaned. I understood it, knew what it felt like, but I wasn’t a little kid anymore. I’d been older when everything changed, and it had made a world of difference.
After he had settled back to sleep, I laid there awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm my mind with its erratic thoughts and endless chatter. I prayed for silence, even though only the hum of the machines filled the air. I felt more alone than ever, and I was desperate to find others like us. Not just for me, but mainly for Jeremy. He would need more than just me very soon, he would need things I could never provide. A family. Stability. If I could give him that, the one thing I actually could do, then I would do anything to do so.
~~~~~
MORNING CAME AND I had not slept at all. I had been busy formulating my plan to infiltrate the building by myself. First, I would raid the government center near the downtown area for a map of the interior of the Wynn. That way I would be prepared and ready to go into the casino without being too lost. Maybe I could even find a way down to the underground city. There had to be some sort of connection to it from the building, most likely in the basement. If I could make it that far, past any hives of ferals, I might just find the entrance to this rumored human city.
I was excited, exhilarated even. This was my purpose now, my focus. I was up at the first light of dawn, desperate to get going. Breakfast was readied in minutes for the three of us. This purpose had me humming to myself as I tossed the meal of powered eggs and ham steaks together from the storage freezer, adding some concentrated orange juice to drink. I settled down happily at the table, a sense of renewed purpose filling up my soul like food in my stomach. I even got weird looks from Jeremy, who was too sleepy to inquire about my elevated mood. My mother didn’t even notice. She barely picked at her food as she sat there, lost in her own head.
I pushed her to eat, and she forced down a bite or two into her fragile, thin mouth. She was skinnier now, thinner than I’d ever seen her. Her lips were a light pale pink and slimmer. I gulped my breakfast down, my focus wavering as I watched her move her food around the plate, making it seem like she had eaten more than she had. “Mom, eat some more.”
“I’m full.”
“No, you’re not. Eat some more, you’re too thin.” I urged her on.
“So what?” She hissed, dropping her fork and letting it clatter to the floor. “What’s it to you?” Helen snapped−her eyes wide and wild. Was that a snarl slipping from her throat? “I’m. Not. Hungry!”
I held my hands up as if to tell her that it was okay. “Alright, just saying.” I stood up slowly, backing away until I reached the sink to wash my dishes, turning to hide the tears forming in my eyes. Jeremy’s face was frozen in surprise, shocked to see his mother react the way she had. His food was half gone, but he stared hard at his plate, as though he wanted to split it into pieces. My pain shifted to anger as I gripped the sponge to wash my dishes.
This was Helen now. Mom. A woman who had always been calm and confident. Helen, who never yelled but spoken firmly, like you’d expect from a mother. This wasn’t her. I didn’t know who this was anymore. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know her anymore, not like this.
I gulped back my sorrow and watched the water swirl down the drain, taking the small soap suds with it. The huge lump forming in my throat made it hard to swallow, knowing my mother wouldn’t care anymore if I did cry. But I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t want to see her apathy toward me anymore. The water spiraled around the sink, and I wanted to join it, down the drain, away from this place, away from it all forever.
“I’m going into town today, Jer. Do you want to come with me and hang out with Rye’s people? Or….” I carefully formed each word, afraid my voice would crack if I didn’t. I didn’t want to offer the alternative. At least if he came with me, Helen could roam around the bunker freely, without fear of harming someone.
“Yeah, that’s fine. It’d be nice to see Rye and Miranda again,” he muttered, obviously having already lost his appetite as he shoved the food around on his plate, too. “Maybe Rye will be up for a rematch on Halo.” He pushed away from the table and brought his dishes to the sink. I nodded to him and let him finish cleaning up. We knew our chores and did them without any protesting.
“Okay, well, it should be fun. Do you need anything, Mom?” I spoke softly, afraid to bring her wrath out again. She shook her head without looking at me, still lost in a distant thought, staring across the room and humming softly to herself. “Alright, just make sure you take a shower and put some clean clothes on. And your sheets need washing, wash day remember?” Biting my lip, I realized just how much I sounded like her, which made me cringe. Like the old her.
I saw the slightest of nods from her and I accepted that it was all I was going to get. Heading over to grab my gear, I loaded up my weapons and a bag of snacks and water. Never knew when one might need some back up food. Shoving some small LED flashlights into the pack, I turned to wait for Jeremy to finish dressing. He hooked his knife sheath to his belt and stuffed a metal zippo into his pocket. He had his own little emergency supply bag that he belted onto his h*ps before joining me to leave. Walking out the door, I called out a goodbye to Mom, who was still sitting at the table silently.
“Love you,” I called out to her. I didn’t hear the words returned before I closed and locked the bunker door.
“When do you think she’ll be fully turned?” Jeremy inquired softly. I jerked my eyes toward him, studying his face as we walked over to our car. The rain had all but disappeared. The sun shone brightly behind the trees this early in the morning. Still slightly cool from the moisture in the air, the higher the sun hung in the sky, the faster it would all dry up. That’s how it was here: pouring, grey and gloomy one day, then bright sunny blue sky the next, like nothing had happened.
“She won’t turn.”
“Yes she will, and you know that better than I do.” His beady little eyes glared at me as I hopped into the driver’s seat. I sighed heavily, letting my breath ease out slowly, giving me time to contemplate what I would say. I was still shaking from Mom’s outburst.
“I don’t know that, but it seems that it could happen soon if it does. It might not though, so don’t hold your breath, Jer.” I turned the engine, letting its welcomed hum break up the air between us. I was done speculating. If it happened, it would happen. If it didn’t, then there was a God.
“That’s why you don’t leave me alone with her anymore, isn’t it?” A small quiver lined his words. “It’s not ‘if’ it will happen, it’s ‘when.’” He turned his gaze to stare at the passing scenery, now done with his complaints. I wished so badly that I could comfort him. But I wasn’t the comforting kind, not all the time at least. I hoped that when the time came, I could be comforting enough. Seeing him this way broke my heart into a billion little pieces.
“Well, don’t be so negative. We do what we must. For today, you hang out with Rye. I have to get a map of the Wynn, just for future reference, and it could be in a couple different places. Let him win a few rounds, K?” I heard him chuckle at the last statement, making the tense knot in my shoulders relax just a bit. “Oh, and Jer? Don’t tell Rye what I’m doing. You know how antsy he gets.”
He nodded. His anticipation of playing against with a real person had won over any suspicions he might have had about what I was going to do. I knew with that, he was hooked and eager to go. Who could turn down a video game challenge? Definitely not Jeremy.
Chapter Eleven
Last One
April
“WHY DO YOU always have to do things alone?” Rye’s eyes narrowed as he took in the words I had just spoken. Leaving him behind to babysit Jeremy was not his idea of fun. He didn’t mind hanging out with him, it was just that knowing I wanted to go searching for some hunting gear at my usual haunts sounded suspicious to him, especially the part where I wanted to go alone, even though that wasn’t unusual for me.
I couldn’t tell him the truth, if he knew I was going to search through the dark buildings of the government offices for blueprints of the Wynn Casino, it would make him furious. He would want to come then, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Instead I had told him I needed some alone time to breath and think about stuff. He accepted this reason, though quite reluctantly. I could tell.
“Don’t be a nag. I know the risks as much as you do. I do this alone, like I always have. I don’t need you or anyone to babysit me. Unlike Jeremy, I’m already an adult.” My own teeth were gritting, holding back words I might regret. I wasn’t used to working with another person or even answering to someone other than my mother. Though Rye was easy going and a comfort at times, I hunted alone. Period. Even with my mother, she had learned quickly that it was better to leave me to my own devices. He had to learn this soon or be tormented by my quirks.
“I’m not a nag,” he sighed, rubbing his face and looking somewhat tired. “It’s not safe. You know that. Why do you always leave me out of things? Is it because I told you Blaze doesn’t want us to search for the human city, if there even is one?”
“I leave you out?” I huffed, almost laughing at the irony of it all. “I’m not the one making plans to exterminate feral hives and inadvertently joining the human genocide that is already happening. I’m not the one making plans to infiltrate an underground human facility without consulting a human!” I turned, already marching down the hall before I lost my temper. I could tell my words stung like salt to a wound, but I couldn’t help lashing out.
“I need to get away from everything for a bit. If you have a problem with that, so be it,” I hollered back to him. My patience was gone, and it wasn’t even late morning yet. I was running out of daylight though, with every minute that ticked by, and I didn’t want to spend it arguing with Rye.
Surprisingly, he didn’t follow me. Maybe he knew me better than to continue to probe at the issue. He must have been getting to know me pretty well if he gave up so soon. Satisfied, I jumped into my car, gripping the steering wheel as I made sure Rye had returned to the hive’s underground residence and had not followed me out. I was going to head back down to the other side of The Strip, toward downtown Fremont Street to get the blueprints of the Wynn Hotel & Casino. I had yet to find the right place where they kept the blueprint hardcopies. It was grating on my nerves not to have found it yet.
It sucked up my time so much, I had lost track of the days since I had seen Elijah. The Palms stared at me from every angle of The Strip, even from here, at the airport. He must have known I was searching for something. He had probably seen me once or twice sneaking around the Las Vegas Strip. His vantage point was pretty good from his penthouse. But if he knew what I was looking for, maybe he would understand. Of all people, he just might join me.
I thought about the rumors of the underground city and the man in the Palms Casino—Elijah. I wondered if he was somehow connected to it. I doubted it, but I just didn’t know. I felt the rumors must have been based on reality, like most are. Rolling over in the bed, I leaned on my arm, contemplating what it would be like underground. How big of a city was it? How many people were walking around in there without knowing I existed up here? What was it like to live there?
So many questions and I had no answers whatsoever. Not even one hint of how it would be there. It made my heart jump, leaving it anxious and fluttering in my chest. It made me restless, eager to get a move on, eager to find it, even if it was the last thing I did.
It had been a long time since I’d had some sort of goal. This was what I needed. I needed this to focus my thoughts. I was going insane not having anything to concentrate on, not having anything to give me some hope for the future. It was agonizing and tortuous. I wasn’t the patient type, and having something to focus my energy on was a relief. It was a purpose, and I was going to find out everything I could about it. I was that driven.
“April?”
“Yeah, Jer.”
“Do you think Mom’s going to die?”
I turned back over, squinting my eyes as I looked at my baby brother. His face was a mask of concern, filled with features too old for such a young kid. It made my heart break, and I rushed over to give him a tight hug. “No, squirt. She’s not gonna die. She might not ever be the same, but she’s too tough a gal to die. Get me?” I ruffled his hair as I felt the hot tears leak from his eyes onto my shirt. He buried his face into my stomach and cried silently, never whimpering or calling out to anyone.
Mom was already gone as far as I was concerned. But how was it for Jeremy? What was he thinking about? My soul went out to the broken little boy still hiding deep inside the hard shell he had painstakingly built in the wake of being kidnapped. I wished there was something I could say to comfort him more, but the words were lodged in my throat and only silence remained.
Sucking in a breath, I licked my lips and attempted it one more time.
“Hey, it’s going to be alright. You hear me, Jer? I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll never leave you, and I’ll always be here. Don’t forget that, okay?” His head nodded softly in agreement as he tried to rub away the trails his tears had left behind on his face. He sniffled as I handed him a tissue. I was sure he didn’t want Mom to hear him. He would just bury his head into the pillow if she happened to walk in.
It hadn’t always been this way. Before they were taken by Christian’s hive, he was stuck to my mother like glue, her little sidekick. Now, a part of him had been ripped away prematurely, amputated, leaving him ragged and torn, orphaned. I understood it, knew what it felt like, but I wasn’t a little kid anymore. I’d been older when everything changed, and it had made a world of difference.
After he had settled back to sleep, I laid there awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm my mind with its erratic thoughts and endless chatter. I prayed for silence, even though only the hum of the machines filled the air. I felt more alone than ever, and I was desperate to find others like us. Not just for me, but mainly for Jeremy. He would need more than just me very soon, he would need things I could never provide. A family. Stability. If I could give him that, the one thing I actually could do, then I would do anything to do so.
~~~~~
MORNING CAME AND I had not slept at all. I had been busy formulating my plan to infiltrate the building by myself. First, I would raid the government center near the downtown area for a map of the interior of the Wynn. That way I would be prepared and ready to go into the casino without being too lost. Maybe I could even find a way down to the underground city. There had to be some sort of connection to it from the building, most likely in the basement. If I could make it that far, past any hives of ferals, I might just find the entrance to this rumored human city.
I was excited, exhilarated even. This was my purpose now, my focus. I was up at the first light of dawn, desperate to get going. Breakfast was readied in minutes for the three of us. This purpose had me humming to myself as I tossed the meal of powered eggs and ham steaks together from the storage freezer, adding some concentrated orange juice to drink. I settled down happily at the table, a sense of renewed purpose filling up my soul like food in my stomach. I even got weird looks from Jeremy, who was too sleepy to inquire about my elevated mood. My mother didn’t even notice. She barely picked at her food as she sat there, lost in her own head.
I pushed her to eat, and she forced down a bite or two into her fragile, thin mouth. She was skinnier now, thinner than I’d ever seen her. Her lips were a light pale pink and slimmer. I gulped my breakfast down, my focus wavering as I watched her move her food around the plate, making it seem like she had eaten more than she had. “Mom, eat some more.”
“I’m full.”
“No, you’re not. Eat some more, you’re too thin.” I urged her on.
“So what?” She hissed, dropping her fork and letting it clatter to the floor. “What’s it to you?” Helen snapped−her eyes wide and wild. Was that a snarl slipping from her throat? “I’m. Not. Hungry!”
I held my hands up as if to tell her that it was okay. “Alright, just saying.” I stood up slowly, backing away until I reached the sink to wash my dishes, turning to hide the tears forming in my eyes. Jeremy’s face was frozen in surprise, shocked to see his mother react the way she had. His food was half gone, but he stared hard at his plate, as though he wanted to split it into pieces. My pain shifted to anger as I gripped the sponge to wash my dishes.
This was Helen now. Mom. A woman who had always been calm and confident. Helen, who never yelled but spoken firmly, like you’d expect from a mother. This wasn’t her. I didn’t know who this was anymore. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know her anymore, not like this.
I gulped back my sorrow and watched the water swirl down the drain, taking the small soap suds with it. The huge lump forming in my throat made it hard to swallow, knowing my mother wouldn’t care anymore if I did cry. But I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t want to see her apathy toward me anymore. The water spiraled around the sink, and I wanted to join it, down the drain, away from this place, away from it all forever.
“I’m going into town today, Jer. Do you want to come with me and hang out with Rye’s people? Or….” I carefully formed each word, afraid my voice would crack if I didn’t. I didn’t want to offer the alternative. At least if he came with me, Helen could roam around the bunker freely, without fear of harming someone.
“Yeah, that’s fine. It’d be nice to see Rye and Miranda again,” he muttered, obviously having already lost his appetite as he shoved the food around on his plate, too. “Maybe Rye will be up for a rematch on Halo.” He pushed away from the table and brought his dishes to the sink. I nodded to him and let him finish cleaning up. We knew our chores and did them without any protesting.
“Okay, well, it should be fun. Do you need anything, Mom?” I spoke softly, afraid to bring her wrath out again. She shook her head without looking at me, still lost in a distant thought, staring across the room and humming softly to herself. “Alright, just make sure you take a shower and put some clean clothes on. And your sheets need washing, wash day remember?” Biting my lip, I realized just how much I sounded like her, which made me cringe. Like the old her.
I saw the slightest of nods from her and I accepted that it was all I was going to get. Heading over to grab my gear, I loaded up my weapons and a bag of snacks and water. Never knew when one might need some back up food. Shoving some small LED flashlights into the pack, I turned to wait for Jeremy to finish dressing. He hooked his knife sheath to his belt and stuffed a metal zippo into his pocket. He had his own little emergency supply bag that he belted onto his h*ps before joining me to leave. Walking out the door, I called out a goodbye to Mom, who was still sitting at the table silently.
“Love you,” I called out to her. I didn’t hear the words returned before I closed and locked the bunker door.
“When do you think she’ll be fully turned?” Jeremy inquired softly. I jerked my eyes toward him, studying his face as we walked over to our car. The rain had all but disappeared. The sun shone brightly behind the trees this early in the morning. Still slightly cool from the moisture in the air, the higher the sun hung in the sky, the faster it would all dry up. That’s how it was here: pouring, grey and gloomy one day, then bright sunny blue sky the next, like nothing had happened.
“She won’t turn.”
“Yes she will, and you know that better than I do.” His beady little eyes glared at me as I hopped into the driver’s seat. I sighed heavily, letting my breath ease out slowly, giving me time to contemplate what I would say. I was still shaking from Mom’s outburst.
“I don’t know that, but it seems that it could happen soon if it does. It might not though, so don’t hold your breath, Jer.” I turned the engine, letting its welcomed hum break up the air between us. I was done speculating. If it happened, it would happen. If it didn’t, then there was a God.
“That’s why you don’t leave me alone with her anymore, isn’t it?” A small quiver lined his words. “It’s not ‘if’ it will happen, it’s ‘when.’” He turned his gaze to stare at the passing scenery, now done with his complaints. I wished so badly that I could comfort him. But I wasn’t the comforting kind, not all the time at least. I hoped that when the time came, I could be comforting enough. Seeing him this way broke my heart into a billion little pieces.
“Well, don’t be so negative. We do what we must. For today, you hang out with Rye. I have to get a map of the Wynn, just for future reference, and it could be in a couple different places. Let him win a few rounds, K?” I heard him chuckle at the last statement, making the tense knot in my shoulders relax just a bit. “Oh, and Jer? Don’t tell Rye what I’m doing. You know how antsy he gets.”
He nodded. His anticipation of playing against with a real person had won over any suspicions he might have had about what I was going to do. I knew with that, he was hooked and eager to go. Who could turn down a video game challenge? Definitely not Jeremy.
Chapter Eleven
Last One
April
“WHY DO YOU always have to do things alone?” Rye’s eyes narrowed as he took in the words I had just spoken. Leaving him behind to babysit Jeremy was not his idea of fun. He didn’t mind hanging out with him, it was just that knowing I wanted to go searching for some hunting gear at my usual haunts sounded suspicious to him, especially the part where I wanted to go alone, even though that wasn’t unusual for me.
I couldn’t tell him the truth, if he knew I was going to search through the dark buildings of the government offices for blueprints of the Wynn Casino, it would make him furious. He would want to come then, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Instead I had told him I needed some alone time to breath and think about stuff. He accepted this reason, though quite reluctantly. I could tell.
“Don’t be a nag. I know the risks as much as you do. I do this alone, like I always have. I don’t need you or anyone to babysit me. Unlike Jeremy, I’m already an adult.” My own teeth were gritting, holding back words I might regret. I wasn’t used to working with another person or even answering to someone other than my mother. Though Rye was easy going and a comfort at times, I hunted alone. Period. Even with my mother, she had learned quickly that it was better to leave me to my own devices. He had to learn this soon or be tormented by my quirks.
“I’m not a nag,” he sighed, rubbing his face and looking somewhat tired. “It’s not safe. You know that. Why do you always leave me out of things? Is it because I told you Blaze doesn’t want us to search for the human city, if there even is one?”
“I leave you out?” I huffed, almost laughing at the irony of it all. “I’m not the one making plans to exterminate feral hives and inadvertently joining the human genocide that is already happening. I’m not the one making plans to infiltrate an underground human facility without consulting a human!” I turned, already marching down the hall before I lost my temper. I could tell my words stung like salt to a wound, but I couldn’t help lashing out.
“I need to get away from everything for a bit. If you have a problem with that, so be it,” I hollered back to him. My patience was gone, and it wasn’t even late morning yet. I was running out of daylight though, with every minute that ticked by, and I didn’t want to spend it arguing with Rye.
Surprisingly, he didn’t follow me. Maybe he knew me better than to continue to probe at the issue. He must have been getting to know me pretty well if he gave up so soon. Satisfied, I jumped into my car, gripping the steering wheel as I made sure Rye had returned to the hive’s underground residence and had not followed me out. I was going to head back down to the other side of The Strip, toward downtown Fremont Street to get the blueprints of the Wynn Hotel & Casino. I had yet to find the right place where they kept the blueprint hardcopies. It was grating on my nerves not to have found it yet.
It sucked up my time so much, I had lost track of the days since I had seen Elijah. The Palms stared at me from every angle of The Strip, even from here, at the airport. He must have known I was searching for something. He had probably seen me once or twice sneaking around the Las Vegas Strip. His vantage point was pretty good from his penthouse. But if he knew what I was looking for, maybe he would understand. Of all people, he just might join me.
