Discount Armageddon
Page 33
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Dominic let go.
I took a step back, smoothing imaginary wrinkles out of my shirt with the heels of my hands before crossing my arms and falling into a casual, hipshot position. Guys hate it when girls look at them like they don’t matter. Dominic appeared to be no different; he scowled at me even harder. “Look, I get that we’re on different teams most of the time, but we’ve agreed that having a dragon get loose in New York would be bad for everybody. You need to get it through your head that not every cryptid is actually evil. A lot of them serve important ecological functions.”
“Bull—”
“My great-great-grandparents left the Covenant because Dr. John Snow discovered the mechanism by which cholera was able to spread through England.”
The change of topics appeared to completely baffle him. That was reasonable; it was a bit of a non sequitur if you don’t know the family history, and I was betting the Covenant had never put Great-Great-Grandpa Healy’s actual reasons for leaving into the record. “What?”
“Cholera is a bacterial infection spread through polluted water.” I took a step toward him, arms still crossed. “It didn’t start getting bad until the 1800s, which a lot of people attribute to the increase in the population of the world’s cities. The worst outbreak anyone had ever seen occurred in 1832, when it killed a truly ridiculous number of people in London and Paris.” He was still looking baffled. I took mercy. “The last known unicorn in France was killed in 1831.”
That put Dominic on more familiar ground. “Unicorns are feral beasts. They kill—”
“I know the stats on unicorn kills.” One more step closed the distance between us. He didn’t grab me. I didn’t knee him. “Unicorns cleanse the water in the areas where they live. Cholera comes from tainted water. A unicorn in the wild will kill one, maybe two people a year. A cholera epidemic kills thousands. So, yeah, when John Snow’s findings were published, my family had some questions, and when we were told ‘it doesn’t matter, we’re doing God’s work,’ we left. Still think it’s propaganda?”
“I…” Dominic stopped. “They’re monsters.”
“Some of them are, sure. But by any objective measure, so are lions, and tigers, and bears. What do you think the sapient cryptids, like Piyusha’s family, think about you?”
There was a long pause before he said, “I don’t know.”
“That may be the first totally honest thing you’ve said to me.” I unfolded my arms, sticking out my hand. “Hi. My name’s Verity Price. I will forgive you for the rooftop snare and the dead ahools and the attitude problem if you’ll forgive me for kicking your ass if you try to hunt anybody who isn’t actively threatening my city. Deal?”
Looking faintly amused, Dominic took my hand and shook, twice. “Deal. Although I’m actually forgiving you for making the attempt. I’m not as certain of your success as you are.”
“That’s fair.” I reclaimed my hand, stepping back out of his personal space. “So you’re the guy with the record books. Is there anything in them about dragons having a thing for unmarried women?”
“Only in that a village in the process of trying to placate a dragon was likely to use virgins as the main course.” Dominic shook his head. “I don’t know whether that means they actually demanded them…”
“… or whether the village elders just figured nobody would miss a few virgins. Got it. I’ll ask my dad. He may know.” And then I’d ask the dragon princesses. I was willing to introduce Dominic to a few members of the cryptid community while we were getting the ball rolling, but if I brought him near the princesses, they’d disappear in a heartbeat. If there was actually a dragon in the city that would be the last thing we wanted. “In the meantime, we need more information.”
“I can contact my superiors and request that any information about the dragons not presently included in the primary records be sent for my review. It may take a few days.”
I gave him a sidelong look. “Won’t that make them suspicious?”
“Dragons are extinct, remember?”
“I swear, if you’re trying to pull a fast one and call down an air strike—”
“Would I have bothered informing you of my suspicions?” Dominic tucked his hands into his pockets, studying the alley wall. “I don’t want to trigger an assault unless I have to.”
“Why not? I thought that’s what you were trained for?”
“There are … complications.”
“Complications like what?”
He cast a sidelong glance in my direction. “How quickly can you get yourself, and everything you claim to be protecting, out of this city?”
That stopped me. Until that moment, I hadn’t really considered the fact that Dominic—annoying, overbearing Dominic, who’d spoiled my shot at Regionals—might actually be trying to help. I eyed him. “What’s in it for you?”
“I don’t get the Covenant spoiling my first solo mission.” Dominic shrugged. “They’re very big on initiative. They’re also very big on claiming credit. If it’s a dragon, I want to be the one who finds it, not the one who reports it and winds up with a footnote in the official records.”
“What about that whole ‘I don’t want to start as a failed dragon slayer’ thing?”
“I said I wanted to find it. I didn’t necessarily say I wanted to prod it with a sharp stick.”
I could have kissed him for that. “See, I’ll just be happy if I don’t get eaten.” I paused, considering, before asking, “Are you going to be cool about the fact that not all cryptids are the bad guys here?”
“For the moment, I’ll allow it.”
“Okay. Then I’ve got someone we should talk to.”
Dominic quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? And who’s that?”
“My cousin.”
The disapproving eyes of the concierge tracked us across the lobby of the Plaza Athenee, a five-star establishment whose suites cost more per night than I made in a month of waiting tables at Dave’s. It was the sort of place where they’d film movies, if the management didn’t consider Hollywood film crews too déclassé to trust near their marble floors. Even the air tasted like money, a delicate blend of expensive perfumes and unobtrusive all-natural cleaning products.
I took a step back, smoothing imaginary wrinkles out of my shirt with the heels of my hands before crossing my arms and falling into a casual, hipshot position. Guys hate it when girls look at them like they don’t matter. Dominic appeared to be no different; he scowled at me even harder. “Look, I get that we’re on different teams most of the time, but we’ve agreed that having a dragon get loose in New York would be bad for everybody. You need to get it through your head that not every cryptid is actually evil. A lot of them serve important ecological functions.”
“Bull—”
“My great-great-grandparents left the Covenant because Dr. John Snow discovered the mechanism by which cholera was able to spread through England.”
The change of topics appeared to completely baffle him. That was reasonable; it was a bit of a non sequitur if you don’t know the family history, and I was betting the Covenant had never put Great-Great-Grandpa Healy’s actual reasons for leaving into the record. “What?”
“Cholera is a bacterial infection spread through polluted water.” I took a step toward him, arms still crossed. “It didn’t start getting bad until the 1800s, which a lot of people attribute to the increase in the population of the world’s cities. The worst outbreak anyone had ever seen occurred in 1832, when it killed a truly ridiculous number of people in London and Paris.” He was still looking baffled. I took mercy. “The last known unicorn in France was killed in 1831.”
That put Dominic on more familiar ground. “Unicorns are feral beasts. They kill—”
“I know the stats on unicorn kills.” One more step closed the distance between us. He didn’t grab me. I didn’t knee him. “Unicorns cleanse the water in the areas where they live. Cholera comes from tainted water. A unicorn in the wild will kill one, maybe two people a year. A cholera epidemic kills thousands. So, yeah, when John Snow’s findings were published, my family had some questions, and when we were told ‘it doesn’t matter, we’re doing God’s work,’ we left. Still think it’s propaganda?”
“I…” Dominic stopped. “They’re monsters.”
“Some of them are, sure. But by any objective measure, so are lions, and tigers, and bears. What do you think the sapient cryptids, like Piyusha’s family, think about you?”
There was a long pause before he said, “I don’t know.”
“That may be the first totally honest thing you’ve said to me.” I unfolded my arms, sticking out my hand. “Hi. My name’s Verity Price. I will forgive you for the rooftop snare and the dead ahools and the attitude problem if you’ll forgive me for kicking your ass if you try to hunt anybody who isn’t actively threatening my city. Deal?”
Looking faintly amused, Dominic took my hand and shook, twice. “Deal. Although I’m actually forgiving you for making the attempt. I’m not as certain of your success as you are.”
“That’s fair.” I reclaimed my hand, stepping back out of his personal space. “So you’re the guy with the record books. Is there anything in them about dragons having a thing for unmarried women?”
“Only in that a village in the process of trying to placate a dragon was likely to use virgins as the main course.” Dominic shook his head. “I don’t know whether that means they actually demanded them…”
“… or whether the village elders just figured nobody would miss a few virgins. Got it. I’ll ask my dad. He may know.” And then I’d ask the dragon princesses. I was willing to introduce Dominic to a few members of the cryptid community while we were getting the ball rolling, but if I brought him near the princesses, they’d disappear in a heartbeat. If there was actually a dragon in the city that would be the last thing we wanted. “In the meantime, we need more information.”
“I can contact my superiors and request that any information about the dragons not presently included in the primary records be sent for my review. It may take a few days.”
I gave him a sidelong look. “Won’t that make them suspicious?”
“Dragons are extinct, remember?”
“I swear, if you’re trying to pull a fast one and call down an air strike—”
“Would I have bothered informing you of my suspicions?” Dominic tucked his hands into his pockets, studying the alley wall. “I don’t want to trigger an assault unless I have to.”
“Why not? I thought that’s what you were trained for?”
“There are … complications.”
“Complications like what?”
He cast a sidelong glance in my direction. “How quickly can you get yourself, and everything you claim to be protecting, out of this city?”
That stopped me. Until that moment, I hadn’t really considered the fact that Dominic—annoying, overbearing Dominic, who’d spoiled my shot at Regionals—might actually be trying to help. I eyed him. “What’s in it for you?”
“I don’t get the Covenant spoiling my first solo mission.” Dominic shrugged. “They’re very big on initiative. They’re also very big on claiming credit. If it’s a dragon, I want to be the one who finds it, not the one who reports it and winds up with a footnote in the official records.”
“What about that whole ‘I don’t want to start as a failed dragon slayer’ thing?”
“I said I wanted to find it. I didn’t necessarily say I wanted to prod it with a sharp stick.”
I could have kissed him for that. “See, I’ll just be happy if I don’t get eaten.” I paused, considering, before asking, “Are you going to be cool about the fact that not all cryptids are the bad guys here?”
“For the moment, I’ll allow it.”
“Okay. Then I’ve got someone we should talk to.”
Dominic quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? And who’s that?”
“My cousin.”
The disapproving eyes of the concierge tracked us across the lobby of the Plaza Athenee, a five-star establishment whose suites cost more per night than I made in a month of waiting tables at Dave’s. It was the sort of place where they’d film movies, if the management didn’t consider Hollywood film crews too déclassé to trust near their marble floors. Even the air tasted like money, a delicate blend of expensive perfumes and unobtrusive all-natural cleaning products.
