Jerd leaned on her heavily. Despite her whispering and the furtive way she had come to find her, Thymara suspected she was enjoying the attention they attracted as they made their slow way to the deckhouse and entered it. Davvie and Lecter were in the galley. “Go get Bellin, please,” Thymara said, and something in her voice sent them scrabbling to obey her.
“And Sylve,” Jerd called faintly after them. “I need women to attend me.”
Thymara shut her teeth sharply on a hard-hearted reply to that. Jerd was enjoying the drama now, but Thymara had a feeling that bad things were about to happen. She helped Jerd sit down on one of the lower bunks.
Bellin arrived with not only Sylve but Skelly also. The woman’s voice was hard but not without sympathy. “I felt blood on the deck from Tarman. You’re losing the baby, then?”
“What?” Jerd was astounded.
Thymara exchanged a disbelieving glance with Sylve, but neither girl said anything. Skelly merely looked baffled.
Bellin spoke heavily. “If you’re seeping blood and having cramps, then you’re having a miscarriage. The baby is likely already dead inside you, and your body is pushing it out. Or the poor little thing will emerge far too early and die. Worst will be if this stops in a little while. Because I can tell you from experience that it will just start up again, a day or a week or even a couple of months from now when you’ve convinced yourself that everything is fine even if you still haven’t felt the child move.”
“NO!” Jerd shrieked and then dissolved into wailing and tears. Bellin turned her back on her. At first Thymara thought her attitude was harsh. Then she saw a tear track down the woman’s weathered cheek.
Alise suddenly appeared in the doorway of the bunk room. “What’s going on?” she asked in alarm.
“Jerd’s losing her baby,” Bellin said. Thymara suddenly knew that the flatness of her voice was actually the woman’s effort to keep her own emotions under control. “Shut the door, please. Skelly, find clean rags. There’s still a bit of wood left. Use it to warm some water. She’ll want to bathe afterward.”
Skelly went running to do as she was told, and Sylve nudged Thymara and tilted her head toward the door. They had almost reached it when Bellin stepped in front of it. “No,” she said sternly. “I want you girls here. Time to see the consequences of what you’re doing.”
“I’m not doing anything!” The words burst out of Thymara’s mouth before she had considered how revealing they were. Everyone stared at her.
Bellin spoke heavily. “Maybe you haven’t, girl. But you will. This girl here, she did what she wanted, with whom she wanted at the moment. And that’s her business, as she told me pretty hot once, and you’ve probably heard, too. But here we are at the crossroads, and who is the work falling on? You see any boys or men in this room? You see any fellow pacing up and down outside, praying to Sa to give that little life a chance? I don’t. And that’s the message, girls. If you don’t have a partner ready to put it on the line for you, to the last drop of blood in his body, well, then you’re a fool if you spread your legs. That’s it, plain as I can say it.”
Thymara had never heard such blunt and harsh words. She and Sylve froze where they were.
“That’s not…fair.” Jerd gasped out the words, and then she gave a small shriek. She curled over her belly, panting. Thymara heard the small rush of fluid as it exited her body.
“It’s not fair,” Bellin agreed. “It’s never fair, girl. So all you can do in this hard and unfair world is make sure you’re giving yourself and your baby the best shot you can at having a life. Get a true partner, one with guts. Or don’t get a child. It’s that simple.”
Skelly was back with a folded stack of clean blood rags. Bellin took some from the top and mopped between Jerd’s legs, her lips a flat line. Thymara turned away, feeling humiliated simply by virtue of being female. Her glance met Alise’s. The Bingtown woman stood with her back pressed against the door, her face pale. Was she wondering what would become of her if she suddenly found herself pregnant? Well, she had Leftrin, and he seemed the steady sort.
Jerd lay back, breathing hard, and Bellin continued mercilessly, “When this is over, a week or two from now, every one of those boys is likely to come sniffing after you. The ones you already had will assume you’ll still accept them, and the ones who haven’t will still be waiting to take a turn. If you’re smart, you’ll hold out for something from them this time, other than a few jolly humps.”
“And Sylve,” Jerd called faintly after them. “I need women to attend me.”
Thymara shut her teeth sharply on a hard-hearted reply to that. Jerd was enjoying the drama now, but Thymara had a feeling that bad things were about to happen. She helped Jerd sit down on one of the lower bunks.
Bellin arrived with not only Sylve but Skelly also. The woman’s voice was hard but not without sympathy. “I felt blood on the deck from Tarman. You’re losing the baby, then?”
“What?” Jerd was astounded.
Thymara exchanged a disbelieving glance with Sylve, but neither girl said anything. Skelly merely looked baffled.
Bellin spoke heavily. “If you’re seeping blood and having cramps, then you’re having a miscarriage. The baby is likely already dead inside you, and your body is pushing it out. Or the poor little thing will emerge far too early and die. Worst will be if this stops in a little while. Because I can tell you from experience that it will just start up again, a day or a week or even a couple of months from now when you’ve convinced yourself that everything is fine even if you still haven’t felt the child move.”
“NO!” Jerd shrieked and then dissolved into wailing and tears. Bellin turned her back on her. At first Thymara thought her attitude was harsh. Then she saw a tear track down the woman’s weathered cheek.
Alise suddenly appeared in the doorway of the bunk room. “What’s going on?” she asked in alarm.
“Jerd’s losing her baby,” Bellin said. Thymara suddenly knew that the flatness of her voice was actually the woman’s effort to keep her own emotions under control. “Shut the door, please. Skelly, find clean rags. There’s still a bit of wood left. Use it to warm some water. She’ll want to bathe afterward.”
Skelly went running to do as she was told, and Sylve nudged Thymara and tilted her head toward the door. They had almost reached it when Bellin stepped in front of it. “No,” she said sternly. “I want you girls here. Time to see the consequences of what you’re doing.”
“I’m not doing anything!” The words burst out of Thymara’s mouth before she had considered how revealing they were. Everyone stared at her.
Bellin spoke heavily. “Maybe you haven’t, girl. But you will. This girl here, she did what she wanted, with whom she wanted at the moment. And that’s her business, as she told me pretty hot once, and you’ve probably heard, too. But here we are at the crossroads, and who is the work falling on? You see any boys or men in this room? You see any fellow pacing up and down outside, praying to Sa to give that little life a chance? I don’t. And that’s the message, girls. If you don’t have a partner ready to put it on the line for you, to the last drop of blood in his body, well, then you’re a fool if you spread your legs. That’s it, plain as I can say it.”
Thymara had never heard such blunt and harsh words. She and Sylve froze where they were.
“That’s not…fair.” Jerd gasped out the words, and then she gave a small shriek. She curled over her belly, panting. Thymara heard the small rush of fluid as it exited her body.
“It’s not fair,” Bellin agreed. “It’s never fair, girl. So all you can do in this hard and unfair world is make sure you’re giving yourself and your baby the best shot you can at having a life. Get a true partner, one with guts. Or don’t get a child. It’s that simple.”
Skelly was back with a folded stack of clean blood rags. Bellin took some from the top and mopped between Jerd’s legs, her lips a flat line. Thymara turned away, feeling humiliated simply by virtue of being female. Her glance met Alise’s. The Bingtown woman stood with her back pressed against the door, her face pale. Was she wondering what would become of her if she suddenly found herself pregnant? Well, she had Leftrin, and he seemed the steady sort.
Jerd lay back, breathing hard, and Bellin continued mercilessly, “When this is over, a week or two from now, every one of those boys is likely to come sniffing after you. The ones you already had will assume you’ll still accept them, and the ones who haven’t will still be waiting to take a turn. If you’re smart, you’ll hold out for something from them this time, other than a few jolly humps.”
