Dreams of a Dark Warrior
Page 39

have four or five decades of life left-a blink of an eye in your lifetime. I will have you til I die, so you're just goin' to have to suck it up."
"What gives you the right to demand all this?"
"If your man Aidan actual y hitched a ride with me, then I'm entitled to the use of his woman for a few years. And I want to seal this deal with you tonight."
"No way, Chase. You can't have sex with me."
"You want me to." He studied her expression. "Christ. You need me to."
"Doesn't matter."
She hadn't denied either! "Because of the curse."
"Among other things."
"Like what?" Then it dawned on him. "You're worried I'll get you pregnant?" His brows drew together.
"Never thought about that before." He remembered looking around the home he'd known for a decade, thinking how grim and silent it was. How soul ess his entire existence was.
Now possibilities spread out before him, ones he'd never imagined for himself. I could be a ... da? The corners of his lips curled.
It struck him then that his entire outlook must have shifted. Because the idea of a sprawling lightning-struck house fil ed with Valkyrie daughters and berserker sons felt exactly right. "Regin, I've got money saved up. I can take care of you and our bairns."
"Okay, that wasn't what I was talking about. Valkyrie aren't fertile unless we eat for a few weeks."
He'd had no idea. Fascinating.
"But since you brought it up ... Dude. You're a jobless, homeless drug addict. Great daddy material."
Straight-talking Regin. "I'll never touch the shite again. I don't need to suppress my strength or get mindless again-I need to be strong and clear to protect what's mine." He squeezed her tighter, pressing his lips against her hair. "As for the job, I've money enough to keep you in Aston Martins, Valkyrie. And to buy a home. Or two." When she raised a brow, he explained, "For twenty years I've had zero expenses. I haven't spent a dime of my substantial salary. And many of my captures carried bounties. Now, what was your point?"
"What if you had a 'freak' child? It seems like that'd be your worst fear, to get a detrus pregnant."
"Don't ever use that word to describe yourself again. That was my mistake-not seeing that there are differences among the immortals. Good and evil, just like with humans."
"Yeah, well , your realization came too late for me." She shoved away from him, rising to her feet.
With a sigh, he let her go. His skin felt bare and cold without her. all these years avoiding touch, and now he wanted nothing more than to have her warm little body against him.
When she strode over to her clothes, the sight of that na**d arse had him hard all over again. Voice rough, he said, "Stay with me." Had that sounded like a command?
Her back stiffened, then she pulled on her knickers. "Forget it."
Here goes nothing. He exhaled and said, "I am ... sorry."
***
Regin froze. Without turning, she asked, "What did you say?"
He grated, "I'm sorry that I've hurt you repeatedly. And that I hurt ... people you care about."
"An apology?" She faced him. "That must've been difficult."
"I thought I was doing my duty with you. With all immortals. I fol owed my commander's orders blindly."
He scrubbed his hand down his face. "We ... went too far."
That haunted look in his eyes. She was drawn to his pain, wanting to soothe it. Aidan had never needed her. This man before her needed Regin like a lifeline.
"Webb was your commander?" At his nod, she said, "You seemed close to him."
"He was like my father and best friend rol ed into one. He saved my life from a pack of Neoptera. That's what did this to me."
Those creatures were terror personified. She'd suspected, but to hear it confirmed ... "How old were you?"
Instead of answering her, he held out his hand. "I'll only talk about this if you sleep the rest of the night by my side."
"You sound like Lothaire, making everything a transaction."
"Maybe he's right to."
With a rol of her eyes, she sat down a couple feet from him, pul ing her knees up to her bare chest. At once, he yanked her back to his side.
She exhaled, defeated. "How old?"
"I was seventeen."
"That picture you showed me, it was of your parents."
He tensed against her. "Aye."
"I've never heard of anyone surviving a Neo attack."
"Webb saved my life before they finished me."
Finished him. Everything began to make sense. His family had been massacred, he'd been maimed.
And the man who'd saved his life warred against immortals.
"He gave me a reason to keep going. Taught me everything I know."
Meaning he'd been brainwashed, and at such a young age. Declan Chase had never had a chance.
"What will happen with Webb now?"
"If he finds out that I lived and went AWOL, he'l put a bounty on my head." There was a thread of something like grief in Chase's voice.
"That's harsh."
"I ... I almost kil ed him."
"What? Why?"
"He's the one who ordered you vivisected. Hid it from me. He'd learned I was a berserker by then, so he would've known that you were mine." Chase's eyes glowed with menace. "Yet he still hurt you. When La Dorada arrived, I was squeezing the life out of him." His hands fisted even now.
He'd harmed the man he looked upon as a father? Over her? She'd heard his outraged bel ow that night. ..."I am done with the Order, done with Webb. Face it, Regin. You're the only friend I have in the world."
He thinks we're friends? "When did you start to feel differently about me?"
"That night in my bathroom marked the beginning of the end for me. I actual y considered running with you to bloody Belfast. Would you have gone with me then?"
So fast it would've made his head swim. But she didn't need to encourage him. Instead of answering, she brushed his track marks. "What happened here?"
"I used to inject a drug to keep my rage and strength in check. It had an opiate in it as well."
"How long have you been doing it? Some of the marks look old."
"Over a decade." He hesitated, then said, "Before that ... I shot heroin. When I was younger in Belfast."
Oh, gods. "Because you always felt sick inside?" His past lives competing with his present, the nightmares and memories. ...He shrugged, but he didn't deny it.
Then she should have found him as a boy before he got so twisted. Instead of running from Aidan's latest incarnation, she should have protected him. Guilt was like a lead weight over her chest.
How loyal am I? I abandoned Aidan to fate. Left a young Declan Chase at the mercy of the world.
As if sensing her turmoil, he said, "Come now, lass." Whenever Aidan had wanted to look into her eyes, he'd gently cupped her face in his hands. Not so with Declan. He gathered her neck in the crook of his arm and held her steady as he gazed down. "Let's no' talk about that. You're with me now."
Even after everything that had happened, Regin found herself nodding against him, her arm gliding across his deep chest.
"But I want you to understand that I'm not tryin' to replace Aidan. Know I can't. You loved him too bloody much."
I didn't. Not irrevocably. The Valkyrie believed that one of their kind could recognize her eternal mate when he opened his arms and she realized she would forever run to get within them. Regin had been so close to running to Aidan, but she'd fought those feelings. "I ... didn't love him." Hadn't allowed myself to.
"What? Why didn't you fal for him?"
"I needed him body and soul, but my heart was still my own."
Chase stared up at the sky, and the corners of his lips curled. A thousand years ago, Aidan had evinced that same expression. Anticipation. "Then, Valkyrie, it's still mine to win."
In time, his breaths deepened, and he passed into sleep. As Regin watched, his eyes began to dart behind his lids, his arm tightening around her.
He's dreaming. Her own eyes well ed with tears as she whispered, "Shh, be at ease. ..."
Chapter FORTY-SEVEN
She can't remain on the battlefront with me, Edward thought, his gaze fol owing Regin as she paced his tent. Wending around his myriad weapons, she trailed her fingers over the waist jacket and crested helmet of his cavalry uniform.
Her lovely visage was drawn, her ethereal glow lighting the interior. Already his soldiers thought she was a witch who'd entranced him.
She couldn't remain with him-and he couldn't part from her. Which meant he'd be going into her world, he hoped as her husband. Yet the Valkyrie was proving ... recalcitrant.
"You're too young, Edward!"
"I'm twenty-five. Men my age marry."
"Men your age usual y don't turn their backs on everything they know. Finish your tour on the peninsula, then go home to your London mansion. Marry a mortal girl who wears dresses and doesn't have pointed ears. I will bring you nothing but tragedy."
When she picked up his saddle blanket and saw his embroidered personal crest, her face grew stricken. "Two ravens in flight?" She gave a bitter laugh. "Edward, you must let me go. You have to forget about me."
He cast her a rueful smile. "What makes you believe I could possibly do either?" She didn't understand the depths of his feelings, could never be made to. He stood, crossing to her-even moments without touching her proved too long to endure. He rested his hands on her slim shoulders, wanting so badly to kiss her, but she forbade it.
For how much longer can I deny myself a taste?
"Regin, it will always be you. This curse can't be stronger than what I feel for you."
"That's exactly what Gabriel said. On the day he died."
"It's just coincidence, love. all of it. Aidan fought vampires his entire life. Is it a surprise that, in the end, he was murdered by one? Treves had repeatedly angered his king-a coward who had him poisoned.
And Gabriel? My God, Regin, how many pirates died in shipwrecks?"
"You're forgetting one thing-the timing. all of these deaths happened within hours of them bedding me.
I'm your curse! Why can't you accept that ... ?"
Declan shot awake, eyes darting as he took in the murky morning. Not in a tent? For a moment, he couldn't place where he was.
Then he spied Regin. She was up, getting dressed, glowing like the sun in the persistent rain.
She tilted her head at him. Under her gaze, he resisted the nearly overwhelming urge to throw on his clothes. Still new to me.
But she gave his scars little attention, and he relaxed, musing about how she'd slept curled against him.
Just as protecting her had fulfil ed him, so had merely holding her.
Fulfilled. Such an alien feeling, he'd scarcely known how to label it.
The rightness of her in his arms all eviated his lingering withdrawals, gave him something infinitely more pleasurable than the shots had ever provided. ...
Just as he contemplated dragging her back down with him, she said, "We need to get back."
"Aye, I know, then," he muttered, rising to don his pants. Regin watched him unabashed, and again he thought she might just be liking what she saw.
But when he dragged on his pul over, they both frowned. His clothes were tight.
"Aren't you supposed to ... go back down? Muscle-wise?"
"But I didn't hit a berserkrage. Maybe it's because I'm clean of drugs?"
"Um, you shot up the day before yesterday."
But a vampire sucked me dry. He shrugged.
"Were you dreaming just before you woke?" she asked, shivering with cold.
"Here, lass." He crossed the distance to her, yanking off his sweater. "The material stays dry, it'l keep you warm. Arms up, then."
With a rol of her eyes, she lifted her arms so he could tug it down over her. It nearly reached her knees. He took the opportunity to clasp her against his chest, resting his chin on her head. "You will not put your arms around me?"
"I don't want to encourage you. Now, answer my question."
"I dreamed of you and Edward in his tent, discussing the curse. He felt the same way about it as I do now-that it's bul shite."
She pushed against him until he released her. "Edward died the next day."
"How?"
"A sniper fired on his troops. He pushed me out of the path of a bul et. The back of his head was just ...gone. A mortal sacrificed his life over an injury that would've taken me a day to recover from. I've been as good as widowed four times. And with this lifetime, you've been doomed for five."
"If last night was my doom, Regin, then you can sign me up for a hundred more go-rounds."
She narrowed her gaze. "Don't you dare ridicule me or this ... this situation! I nearly lost my mind with each death. Aidan bled out in our bed. I held Treves as he yel ed in anguish from poison. My pirate? My beautiful Gabriel? A violent storm bashed his ship apart. A falling mast crushed him, kil ing him instantly.
His body was swept overboard, and I-I couldn't find him ... c-couldn't bring him back."
"Damn it, lass, this curse will no' affect you and me."
"With everything you've seen in the Lore, how can you doubt this?"
"I don't doubt that curses exist-I've been cursed by a witch, and I remember how it felt. I'd sense something if a curse was hanging over me." He brushed his knuckles down her silky cheek. Would he ever grow used to the luxury of simply touching her skin? "I do no' know how to convince you of it, but I feel this in my gut. We're beyond it."
"Even if there were no curse, and even if I could forgive you for all you've done to me, I can't get past what you've done to my friends. You've got a lot of fates on your head."
"What if I get everyone in our crew off the island? Would you forgive me then?"
She shook her head. "That would still leave Carrow, Ruby, and MacRieve. And Lucia must be alive and well. Every single one of them has been jeopardized by your actions."
"How Lucia?"
"I'm supposed to be with her when she faces Cruach."
"You know I've no control over her fate."