And with that, he marches out and leaves us to strip out of our clothes, down to our underwear. I toss the soiled pajamas into the hamper, and Rhys passes me fresh ones, not even taking a second to stare at me in my mostly nakedness, and Sam doesn’t even care that Rhys has seen us half naked as I help him into the fresh clothes, then pull mine on too.
“Feel better?” I ask him.
“A little. I’m just tired now.”
“God, you’re heavy,” I mutter as I lift him into my arms and carry him into my bedroom and settle us both into my bed. Rhys will just have to sleep in “his” room tonight. My boy needs me.
Sam is lying in the dead center of the bed and I’m lying on my side beside him, playing with his hair and whispering to him.
“Where’s Derek?” he asks.
“Rhys is getting him all settled for the night.”
“Can he sleep with us?”
“Sure,” Rhys says as he comes into my room and lifts the puppy onto the bed. “I just took him outside, and he’s good to go for tonight.”
He holds my gaze as he strips down to just his T-shirt and underwear and slips into the bed with us.
“Are you sick too?” Sam asks as Derek curls up next to Sam’s legs and with a big, gusty sigh, settles in to sleep.
“No, I just want to hold you and your mom,” Rhys says as he pulls us both against him, Sam between us. “I’m kind of worried about you both, and this makes me feel better.”
“But Mom isn’t sick,” Sam says with a yawn, and I hold my breath, praying that the vomiting is over. But he doesn’t throw up again; he just snuggles against Rhys’s chest.
“No, but she’s worried about you, and that makes me worry about her.”
“Oh,” Sam says with a frown. “But Moms are strong.”
“Your mom is very strong,” Rhys agrees, still holding my gaze with his over Sam’s head. He reaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair that has fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. “But even moms need someone to look after them.”
“What about you?” I ask softly.
“I have everything I want in this bed,” he replies and I have to lower my eyes so he can’t see the tears that come at that statement.
Ask him if he’s going to stay! Tell him you love him! Stop being a pain in the ass and torturing yourself!
But instead, because I’m an idiot, I simply kiss Sam’s head and settle in next to him, not saying anything.
“I love you, Rhys.” Sam’s voice is sure and unwavering as he says those words that I find impossible to say. Rhys simply smiles softly and kisses Sam’s head.
“I love you too, buddy.”
He loves my son.
“I love you, Mama,” Sam says softly.
“I love you too, baby boy.”
“I’m not a baby boy. I’m a man,” he says with as much indignation he can muster, given how crappy he feels. Rhys and I both chuckle.
“Well, I think that when you’re sick like this, you’re still my baby boy,” I reply. “You were so tiny when you were born.”
Rhys tilts his head to the side in curiosity.
“He loves hearing the story of how he was born.”
“Tell me again,” Sam says, his eyes closed now. Derek is snoring loudly, snuggled between Sam’s legs.
“It was a really hot summer night,” I begin the way I always do. “And I was in my room at Nannan and Pawpaw’s house, when suddenly, my water broke.”
“That’s gross,” Sam says.
“It was scary because you weren’t supposed to come for six more weeks.” I bite my lip as I think back to how terrified I was at the thought of having Sam so early. “But, I’ve come to learn that you’re just an impatient boy.”
“Am not,” he mutters.
“Okay.” I chuckle and kiss his head. “So, I woke Pawpaw up and he took me to the hospital while Nannan called all of the others, and they met us there later.”
“And Uncle Beau and Aunt Charly were in the room when I was born.”
“That’s right. You took your time, though. Twenty-six hours of labor was a long time, but then suddenly, there you were, all pink and tiny, and angry as could be.”
“Well, I was getting crowded in your belly,” Sam says logically.
“I see. Well, we got you all cleaned off, and the nurse laid you on my chest, and you looked up at me and just stared at me as I talked to you, as if you already knew that I was your mama.”
“It’s because it’s just you and me, against the world,” he whispers softly, making more tears spring in my eyes. God, I’m so damn emotional tonight!
“That’s right,” I whisper back, and glance up to see Rhys watching us, listening intently. “And you were as healthy as could be, even as tiny as you were.”
“I eat all the gross vegetables you make me eat,” he says. He’s so sleepy, he’s going to drift off any second. So, I stop talking and just stroke my fingertips over his forehead, his cheeks, through his hair.
“I hate that you went through that alone,” Rhys says softly when Sam is finally asleep.
“I didn’t. I had my family with me.”
“I know, but it’s not the same. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
I bite my lip, thinking about that night not so long ago, and how loved I felt.
“Feel better?” I ask him.
“A little. I’m just tired now.”
“God, you’re heavy,” I mutter as I lift him into my arms and carry him into my bedroom and settle us both into my bed. Rhys will just have to sleep in “his” room tonight. My boy needs me.
Sam is lying in the dead center of the bed and I’m lying on my side beside him, playing with his hair and whispering to him.
“Where’s Derek?” he asks.
“Rhys is getting him all settled for the night.”
“Can he sleep with us?”
“Sure,” Rhys says as he comes into my room and lifts the puppy onto the bed. “I just took him outside, and he’s good to go for tonight.”
He holds my gaze as he strips down to just his T-shirt and underwear and slips into the bed with us.
“Are you sick too?” Sam asks as Derek curls up next to Sam’s legs and with a big, gusty sigh, settles in to sleep.
“No, I just want to hold you and your mom,” Rhys says as he pulls us both against him, Sam between us. “I’m kind of worried about you both, and this makes me feel better.”
“But Mom isn’t sick,” Sam says with a yawn, and I hold my breath, praying that the vomiting is over. But he doesn’t throw up again; he just snuggles against Rhys’s chest.
“No, but she’s worried about you, and that makes me worry about her.”
“Oh,” Sam says with a frown. “But Moms are strong.”
“Your mom is very strong,” Rhys agrees, still holding my gaze with his over Sam’s head. He reaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair that has fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. “But even moms need someone to look after them.”
“What about you?” I ask softly.
“I have everything I want in this bed,” he replies and I have to lower my eyes so he can’t see the tears that come at that statement.
Ask him if he’s going to stay! Tell him you love him! Stop being a pain in the ass and torturing yourself!
But instead, because I’m an idiot, I simply kiss Sam’s head and settle in next to him, not saying anything.
“I love you, Rhys.” Sam’s voice is sure and unwavering as he says those words that I find impossible to say. Rhys simply smiles softly and kisses Sam’s head.
“I love you too, buddy.”
He loves my son.
“I love you, Mama,” Sam says softly.
“I love you too, baby boy.”
“I’m not a baby boy. I’m a man,” he says with as much indignation he can muster, given how crappy he feels. Rhys and I both chuckle.
“Well, I think that when you’re sick like this, you’re still my baby boy,” I reply. “You were so tiny when you were born.”
Rhys tilts his head to the side in curiosity.
“He loves hearing the story of how he was born.”
“Tell me again,” Sam says, his eyes closed now. Derek is snoring loudly, snuggled between Sam’s legs.
“It was a really hot summer night,” I begin the way I always do. “And I was in my room at Nannan and Pawpaw’s house, when suddenly, my water broke.”
“That’s gross,” Sam says.
“It was scary because you weren’t supposed to come for six more weeks.” I bite my lip as I think back to how terrified I was at the thought of having Sam so early. “But, I’ve come to learn that you’re just an impatient boy.”
“Am not,” he mutters.
“Okay.” I chuckle and kiss his head. “So, I woke Pawpaw up and he took me to the hospital while Nannan called all of the others, and they met us there later.”
“And Uncle Beau and Aunt Charly were in the room when I was born.”
“That’s right. You took your time, though. Twenty-six hours of labor was a long time, but then suddenly, there you were, all pink and tiny, and angry as could be.”
“Well, I was getting crowded in your belly,” Sam says logically.
“I see. Well, we got you all cleaned off, and the nurse laid you on my chest, and you looked up at me and just stared at me as I talked to you, as if you already knew that I was your mama.”
“It’s because it’s just you and me, against the world,” he whispers softly, making more tears spring in my eyes. God, I’m so damn emotional tonight!
“That’s right,” I whisper back, and glance up to see Rhys watching us, listening intently. “And you were as healthy as could be, even as tiny as you were.”
“I eat all the gross vegetables you make me eat,” he says. He’s so sleepy, he’s going to drift off any second. So, I stop talking and just stroke my fingertips over his forehead, his cheeks, through his hair.
“I hate that you went through that alone,” Rhys says softly when Sam is finally asleep.
“I didn’t. I had my family with me.”
“I know, but it’s not the same. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
I bite my lip, thinking about that night not so long ago, and how loved I felt.
