I had tears in my eyes as the black beauty pulled away. But they weren't tears of worry or sadness this time. No, I was proud of him, immensely proud of him. How many people get an opportunity like this and actually go for it? I had to believe it was a small amount that chose to reach for their dreams, even if they seemed impossible.
And once Kellan was safely tucked away in a recording studio, laying down the tracks that would soon be searing the souls of fans across the globe, I turned my attentions back to my dreams, my goals. I was graduating in a few weeks from college, and I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life.
I wanted to write. I wanted to be an author, with my name on the cover of a story that I'd created. I wanted it more than anything.
I found that all the time I'd spent writing my required papers, had opened up something in me. I enjoyed the quiet times I had, when I could let my thoughts pour out onto the page, instead of keeping them bottled inside. After Kellan and I had had an honest discussion about how badly we'd messed up our relationship by starting it with a betrayal...I'd started writing about it. At first, I was just jotting down notes as I had coffee with Cheyenne or Jenny, but after a while, I got immersed in it.
I started reliving the past as I wrote it. It was like watching a movie in my head, one that I wished I could have stopped sometimes, as parts of it were exceedingly painful, but it was therapeutic, too. I didn't hold back any details either. It was an emotional, soul bearing rollercoaster ride of just what had gone down between Kellan and I. Our slow build up, our passionate releases, our attempt to bottle up what we'd felt behind a wall of friendship, our heated fights-I wrote it all.
I figured I would come out the bad guy in the story, hated, reviled for betraying a man as good as Denny. Maybe it would be different, if Denny were the cold, abusive or jealous type, but he wasn't. Denny was a good man, a great man, so I knew that I'd come out as the heartless one. But that was okay. I'd done it, and I had to live with the consequences of doing it. And, anyway, that wasn't who I was anymore. I'd grown, being with Kellan. I'd learned a lot about myself, about who I wanted to be. I was still struggling through my insecurities to be that person, and that's something that I'd probably have to push myself with every day, but I was becoming that person.
The confident woman who'd shaken her booty for her boyfriend, while dancing around in the kitchen eating pizza-she was in here somewhere, and she was ready to come out.
Time flew by as I prepared myself to leave the life of higher education. With work and finals and my sister's return to Seattle, I barely had time to sleep. But somehow I managed to pull it off, and before I could comprehend it, the middle of June was upon me...and I was about to become a University of Washington graduate.
As promised, Kellan flew back from Los Angeles to attend the ceremony. Sitting on our bed, he distracted me with small talk about his album while I searched through my dresser for something suitable to wear. As I listened to Kellan's voice as he went over the technical aspect of recording, I felt butterflies of excitement stir in my belly. I'd done it. It had been hard, and taken a toll on me, for sure, but I'd made it through the academics. And now I had to be put on display.
That was definitely the downside to graduating. But oddly, I was looking forward to it. Maybe because I knew Kellan was going to be there. And Anna. And my parents, since Kellan had gotten them plane tickets to come out here just to see me graduate. Even Denny had said he'd come. Everyone I considered family would be in the audience, cheering me on. I found a lot of strength in that.
Holding up a pair of black slacks and a gray button-up shirt, I wondered if it screamed "graduate." A voice in my doorway pulled my attention that way.
"No, not that one." Anna stood leaning against the frame, shaking her head. She took a step into the room and extended her hand to me. "Here, wear this." Sighing, she rolled her eyes. "Lord knows I won't be wearing it for a while."
Taking the small scrap of fabric from her, I smiled down at her protruding belly. Anna was sixteen weeks along, almost halfway to her November due date. In another month, she'd be able to find out if her prediction was correct, if she was having a girl or not. She had a bulge that was unmistakable now, and utterly adorable on her. She'd grown to embrace the new curvature of her body, no longer hiding it behind baggy sweats and shirts. The maternity shirt she had on now clung to her hormonally enlarged chest. The pale pink fabric then clung to the baby in her belly before meeting back up with her hips. It was as seductive as a mom-to-be could dress.
Her friends at work had been surprisingly supportive when Anna had finally spilled the news. Her manager had given her a larger-sized Hooters uniform, and told her that her pregnancy wasn't a problem; girls working for the restaurant chain got pregnant all the time. Even though I'd told Anna that they wouldn't, that legally, they couldn't, Anna had seemed relieved that they hadn't fired her.
Anna felt even more relieved when the manager had confessed that she'd had the same fears when she'd gotten pregnant as a waitress. Then the level-headed woman started showing my sister the ropes behind the scenes. Anna surprisingly loved it. And she was good at it, too. I think it gave her confidence, having something to fall back on that didn't rely on her looks. Not that my sister really needed that much help in the confidence department.
Smiling at the image of my devil-may-care sister trying her hand at responsibility, I unfolded the outfit she'd just handed me. It was a short, tight little black dress, the kind that was perfect for almost every occasion. I held it up to my body and twisted my lips. Anna dressed a lot more provocatively than me, and a lot of skin would be showing.
Kellan, still lying on our bed, murmured his approval. "That...is perfect."
I glanced over at him. His midnight blue eyes were locked onto my cl**vage. The neck line was a low-cut square and would rest just above where it needed to when I put it on. I doubt I'd be able to wear a bra with it. Anna chuckled and I turned to watch her rub her stomach. She gave me a warm smile. "You'll be beautiful, sis."
I inhaled and stood up just a little straighter. I felt beautiful already, just being near the people who loved me. And even though the dress made me cringe, I would wear it, and wear it proudly. Because today was a day for bravery. And I had role models of that bravery all around me. Anna was brave everyday that she struggled through her situation. And just last week...she bought a crib. I helped her put it up in my old room and she cried when it was completed. I had faith that her bravery would extend to keeping the baby...and someday telling Griffin about it.
And Kellan was brave. Not for recording an album in L.A. No, I don't think that even fazed him. Kellan was brave, because he was coming to Pete's with me, to celebrate with our friends at a party in my honor...and his dad was going to be there. I'd already gotten a confirming text from him when he'd landed in Seattle. Kellan didn't look like it, as he smiled charmingly at me, but he was freaking out.
And Kellan was also brave...because he was letting my parents stay with us.
From across the hall, I heard my father's heavy steps as he walked over to stand beside Anna. Resting a hand on her shoulder, he looked into the room and frowned at the provocative dress I was holding to my body. Then he forced the frown into a small smile. "Very beautiful, sweetheart. Your mother and I are very proud of you...even if you're graduating here in Washington and not at our Alma Mater."
Dad sighed at my schooling choice, and Anna rested her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her arm and held her tight. The surprise pregnancy had been a shock to my parents-Anna had told me that Dad had cried-but they had, of course, immediately turned into the loving, supportive people I knew them to be. They'd even offered Anna free room and board if she wanted to move back to Ohio. She'd refused, though, deciding to stay here. Maybe that was because of Griffin, maybe me, or maybe Anna finally felt...home.
"Thank you, Daddy."
They were all staring at me now, and I felt heat start to creep into my cheeks. Then I laughed the embarrassment away. "Can I...change now?" I asked my dad and sister.
Anna giggled and backed away, pulling on Dad's arm. "Come on, Dad, let's go get something to eat...I'm starving."
Dad frowned and resisted Anna's pull. He looked over at Kellan, still comfortably lying on our bed. "Kellan, son, you want to give me a hand with...something?" Dad asked awkwardly.
I shook my head, seeing right through Dad's painful attempt to get Kellan out of the room so I could change in private. Poor guy. He was still struggling with his baby girl being all grown up. He had to realize, since Kellan and I shared this bedroom, that Kellan had seen me nak*d before. Hell, Kellan had tied me to his headboard and stroked a feather over every bare inch of skin on me before...not that my dad needed to know that.
Grinning at my dad, Kellan stood up. "Sure, no problem."
He paused to kiss my head before leaving and I whispered a thank you for humoring my father. Maybe Dad realized the respect Kellan was showing him, for he clapped him on the shoulder as they left the room together. Then Dad started talking about baseball with him and I couldn't contain my smile. Dad was making an effort to bond with Kellan. That meant a lot to me.
Kellan drove us to school when I was ready to go. I smoothed my tight dress over my thighs, played with the guitar shaped necklace around my neck, then twisted the promise ring on my finger. I couldn't stop moving. Nervous, excited energy was pouring through my body. When I started the cycle of movement over again, Kellan grabbed my hand, calming me with his silent support. It worked, too.
Once there, my mother started bawling. It made me sniffle, watching the older version of my sister and I cry, but I managed to keep it all together as I hugged her. Dad shuffled her off, and Anna gave me a swift hug. The baby kicked right as our stomachs connected and I stared down at it.
"Did you feel that?"
Anna laughed at my question and rubbed her side. "The little gymnast? Yeah, I feel that constantly." Contently smiling, she shook her perfect head of dark brown hair. "I'm just grateful that she's moved away from my bladder."
Kellan chuckled at Anna, slinging an arm around my waist. Anna gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then wobbled off after Mom and Dad. As always, Kellan stayed by my side, and walked me to where I needed to go. My eyes on the expanse of thigh my dress was showing, I leaned into his side. "I love how you take care of me," I told him.
Looking down at me, he cocked an eyebrow. "You don't think I'm...clingy? Always needing to be near you?"
I laughed and looked up at him. "No...I think you got that part just right."
He gave me a crooked grin, then glancing up, stopped me. Wondering why, I glanced up too. A springy redhead that had given me no end of grief over my time here was standing a few feet in front of us. Candy. Kellan's...ex. She had her back to us as she talked with a small group of friends, her two spies included. I considered just going around the woman, but she started turning in our direction and I blinked in surprise. Her belly was swollen with life, and she was much larger than my sister. She really was pregnant.
Kellan raised an eyebrow at seeing her condition, but didn't comment on it. When Candy noticed us watching her, she did a double take. I sighed when she disengaged herself from her friends and started heading our way. So much for closing out the school year with never seeing her again. Oh well. Maybe we could finally get that introduction that we've never, ever had.
And once Kellan was safely tucked away in a recording studio, laying down the tracks that would soon be searing the souls of fans across the globe, I turned my attentions back to my dreams, my goals. I was graduating in a few weeks from college, and I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life.
I wanted to write. I wanted to be an author, with my name on the cover of a story that I'd created. I wanted it more than anything.
I found that all the time I'd spent writing my required papers, had opened up something in me. I enjoyed the quiet times I had, when I could let my thoughts pour out onto the page, instead of keeping them bottled inside. After Kellan and I had had an honest discussion about how badly we'd messed up our relationship by starting it with a betrayal...I'd started writing about it. At first, I was just jotting down notes as I had coffee with Cheyenne or Jenny, but after a while, I got immersed in it.
I started reliving the past as I wrote it. It was like watching a movie in my head, one that I wished I could have stopped sometimes, as parts of it were exceedingly painful, but it was therapeutic, too. I didn't hold back any details either. It was an emotional, soul bearing rollercoaster ride of just what had gone down between Kellan and I. Our slow build up, our passionate releases, our attempt to bottle up what we'd felt behind a wall of friendship, our heated fights-I wrote it all.
I figured I would come out the bad guy in the story, hated, reviled for betraying a man as good as Denny. Maybe it would be different, if Denny were the cold, abusive or jealous type, but he wasn't. Denny was a good man, a great man, so I knew that I'd come out as the heartless one. But that was okay. I'd done it, and I had to live with the consequences of doing it. And, anyway, that wasn't who I was anymore. I'd grown, being with Kellan. I'd learned a lot about myself, about who I wanted to be. I was still struggling through my insecurities to be that person, and that's something that I'd probably have to push myself with every day, but I was becoming that person.
The confident woman who'd shaken her booty for her boyfriend, while dancing around in the kitchen eating pizza-she was in here somewhere, and she was ready to come out.
Time flew by as I prepared myself to leave the life of higher education. With work and finals and my sister's return to Seattle, I barely had time to sleep. But somehow I managed to pull it off, and before I could comprehend it, the middle of June was upon me...and I was about to become a University of Washington graduate.
As promised, Kellan flew back from Los Angeles to attend the ceremony. Sitting on our bed, he distracted me with small talk about his album while I searched through my dresser for something suitable to wear. As I listened to Kellan's voice as he went over the technical aspect of recording, I felt butterflies of excitement stir in my belly. I'd done it. It had been hard, and taken a toll on me, for sure, but I'd made it through the academics. And now I had to be put on display.
That was definitely the downside to graduating. But oddly, I was looking forward to it. Maybe because I knew Kellan was going to be there. And Anna. And my parents, since Kellan had gotten them plane tickets to come out here just to see me graduate. Even Denny had said he'd come. Everyone I considered family would be in the audience, cheering me on. I found a lot of strength in that.
Holding up a pair of black slacks and a gray button-up shirt, I wondered if it screamed "graduate." A voice in my doorway pulled my attention that way.
"No, not that one." Anna stood leaning against the frame, shaking her head. She took a step into the room and extended her hand to me. "Here, wear this." Sighing, she rolled her eyes. "Lord knows I won't be wearing it for a while."
Taking the small scrap of fabric from her, I smiled down at her protruding belly. Anna was sixteen weeks along, almost halfway to her November due date. In another month, she'd be able to find out if her prediction was correct, if she was having a girl or not. She had a bulge that was unmistakable now, and utterly adorable on her. She'd grown to embrace the new curvature of her body, no longer hiding it behind baggy sweats and shirts. The maternity shirt she had on now clung to her hormonally enlarged chest. The pale pink fabric then clung to the baby in her belly before meeting back up with her hips. It was as seductive as a mom-to-be could dress.
Her friends at work had been surprisingly supportive when Anna had finally spilled the news. Her manager had given her a larger-sized Hooters uniform, and told her that her pregnancy wasn't a problem; girls working for the restaurant chain got pregnant all the time. Even though I'd told Anna that they wouldn't, that legally, they couldn't, Anna had seemed relieved that they hadn't fired her.
Anna felt even more relieved when the manager had confessed that she'd had the same fears when she'd gotten pregnant as a waitress. Then the level-headed woman started showing my sister the ropes behind the scenes. Anna surprisingly loved it. And she was good at it, too. I think it gave her confidence, having something to fall back on that didn't rely on her looks. Not that my sister really needed that much help in the confidence department.
Smiling at the image of my devil-may-care sister trying her hand at responsibility, I unfolded the outfit she'd just handed me. It was a short, tight little black dress, the kind that was perfect for almost every occasion. I held it up to my body and twisted my lips. Anna dressed a lot more provocatively than me, and a lot of skin would be showing.
Kellan, still lying on our bed, murmured his approval. "That...is perfect."
I glanced over at him. His midnight blue eyes were locked onto my cl**vage. The neck line was a low-cut square and would rest just above where it needed to when I put it on. I doubt I'd be able to wear a bra with it. Anna chuckled and I turned to watch her rub her stomach. She gave me a warm smile. "You'll be beautiful, sis."
I inhaled and stood up just a little straighter. I felt beautiful already, just being near the people who loved me. And even though the dress made me cringe, I would wear it, and wear it proudly. Because today was a day for bravery. And I had role models of that bravery all around me. Anna was brave everyday that she struggled through her situation. And just last week...she bought a crib. I helped her put it up in my old room and she cried when it was completed. I had faith that her bravery would extend to keeping the baby...and someday telling Griffin about it.
And Kellan was brave. Not for recording an album in L.A. No, I don't think that even fazed him. Kellan was brave, because he was coming to Pete's with me, to celebrate with our friends at a party in my honor...and his dad was going to be there. I'd already gotten a confirming text from him when he'd landed in Seattle. Kellan didn't look like it, as he smiled charmingly at me, but he was freaking out.
And Kellan was also brave...because he was letting my parents stay with us.
From across the hall, I heard my father's heavy steps as he walked over to stand beside Anna. Resting a hand on her shoulder, he looked into the room and frowned at the provocative dress I was holding to my body. Then he forced the frown into a small smile. "Very beautiful, sweetheart. Your mother and I are very proud of you...even if you're graduating here in Washington and not at our Alma Mater."
Dad sighed at my schooling choice, and Anna rested her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her arm and held her tight. The surprise pregnancy had been a shock to my parents-Anna had told me that Dad had cried-but they had, of course, immediately turned into the loving, supportive people I knew them to be. They'd even offered Anna free room and board if she wanted to move back to Ohio. She'd refused, though, deciding to stay here. Maybe that was because of Griffin, maybe me, or maybe Anna finally felt...home.
"Thank you, Daddy."
They were all staring at me now, and I felt heat start to creep into my cheeks. Then I laughed the embarrassment away. "Can I...change now?" I asked my dad and sister.
Anna giggled and backed away, pulling on Dad's arm. "Come on, Dad, let's go get something to eat...I'm starving."
Dad frowned and resisted Anna's pull. He looked over at Kellan, still comfortably lying on our bed. "Kellan, son, you want to give me a hand with...something?" Dad asked awkwardly.
I shook my head, seeing right through Dad's painful attempt to get Kellan out of the room so I could change in private. Poor guy. He was still struggling with his baby girl being all grown up. He had to realize, since Kellan and I shared this bedroom, that Kellan had seen me nak*d before. Hell, Kellan had tied me to his headboard and stroked a feather over every bare inch of skin on me before...not that my dad needed to know that.
Grinning at my dad, Kellan stood up. "Sure, no problem."
He paused to kiss my head before leaving and I whispered a thank you for humoring my father. Maybe Dad realized the respect Kellan was showing him, for he clapped him on the shoulder as they left the room together. Then Dad started talking about baseball with him and I couldn't contain my smile. Dad was making an effort to bond with Kellan. That meant a lot to me.
Kellan drove us to school when I was ready to go. I smoothed my tight dress over my thighs, played with the guitar shaped necklace around my neck, then twisted the promise ring on my finger. I couldn't stop moving. Nervous, excited energy was pouring through my body. When I started the cycle of movement over again, Kellan grabbed my hand, calming me with his silent support. It worked, too.
Once there, my mother started bawling. It made me sniffle, watching the older version of my sister and I cry, but I managed to keep it all together as I hugged her. Dad shuffled her off, and Anna gave me a swift hug. The baby kicked right as our stomachs connected and I stared down at it.
"Did you feel that?"
Anna laughed at my question and rubbed her side. "The little gymnast? Yeah, I feel that constantly." Contently smiling, she shook her perfect head of dark brown hair. "I'm just grateful that she's moved away from my bladder."
Kellan chuckled at Anna, slinging an arm around my waist. Anna gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then wobbled off after Mom and Dad. As always, Kellan stayed by my side, and walked me to where I needed to go. My eyes on the expanse of thigh my dress was showing, I leaned into his side. "I love how you take care of me," I told him.
Looking down at me, he cocked an eyebrow. "You don't think I'm...clingy? Always needing to be near you?"
I laughed and looked up at him. "No...I think you got that part just right."
He gave me a crooked grin, then glancing up, stopped me. Wondering why, I glanced up too. A springy redhead that had given me no end of grief over my time here was standing a few feet in front of us. Candy. Kellan's...ex. She had her back to us as she talked with a small group of friends, her two spies included. I considered just going around the woman, but she started turning in our direction and I blinked in surprise. Her belly was swollen with life, and she was much larger than my sister. She really was pregnant.
Kellan raised an eyebrow at seeing her condition, but didn't comment on it. When Candy noticed us watching her, she did a double take. I sighed when she disengaged herself from her friends and started heading our way. So much for closing out the school year with never seeing her again. Oh well. Maybe we could finally get that introduction that we've never, ever had.
