Kellan sighed, softening as he looked down on me. "Yeah, I think I get that part." He held his eyes to mine and I could see the guilt in them, for what he'd done to Denny with me. If Kellan had gotten me pregnant back then...I wondered just what he would have done. Tried to raise the baby with me? Or left the baby with the person who he believed was the more responsible parent, in our case, Denny?
I honestly didn't know what Kellan would have done. He didn't seem to know either, and the idea that he may have made the same choice, softened him towards his father some. Kellan nodded at his dad, and exhaling with relief that Kellan somewhat understood, his dad smiled; the smile was just as beautiful as Kellan's.
"I tried to see you once, you know. When you were about Riley's age."
Kellan blinked and stared up at him. "No, Mom never mentioned that you..."
His father lowered his eyes. "Yeah, she told me that you didn't know about me, that you believed John was your father." He looked back up at Kellan. "Was that true?"
Kellan shook his head. "No, I've always known that I was a bastard child."
His father flinched at his harsh description then shook his head. "She convinced me that I'd hurt you, by showing up in your life. That it was better if I stayed away...so I did."
Swallowing the emotion building, Kellan's father shook his head again. "She was manipulating me, because I hurt her. I never should have listened to her. I should have tried harder to see you...I'm so sorry."
Kellan looked away and I watched a tear fall from the corner of his eye as he closed them. "I never knew you even thought about me," Kellan whispered, his voice still trembling.
His dad put his hand on his arm. "Of course I did. What father could forget about his son, his firstborn?" When Kellan looked back at him, the weary man sighed. "I stayed away for the wrong reasons, thinking I was protecting you by letting you believe the lie, even after their deaths." He choked up on the word death and cleared his throat. "But I'm here now, and I'd like to get to know you."
Slapping on a casual smile, the same smile Kellan could wear, practically on cue, he extended his hand to Kellan. "Hello. My name is Gavin Carter, and I'm your father."
Kellan grinned, then shook his head as he dropped my hand to grab his father's. "I'm Kellan Kyle...and I guess I'm your son."
Laughing as they shook hands, Gavin said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Kellan."
Kellan nodded. "Yeah...you too."
I was already holding back the sniffles when Gavin laid his other hand over their clasped ones. "I don't want to push you, but you have a home with us in Pennsylvania, Kellan. Whenever you're ready, you're always welcome there."
I wiped the tears off my cheeks as Kellan sniffed and nodded. Clasping his shoulder, Gavin said, "Can I buy you a beer?"
Kellan looked back at me, but I grinned and nodded. He needed this. He needed them. Even if he liked to think that he was fine on his own, a piece of Kellan had been missing from birth. He'd filled it with music, he'd filled it with sex, and he'd even filled it with me. But what he'd needed, was what he was now being offered-a family.
Kissing his cheek, I left him to begin the bonding process. I was still wiping my eyes as I walked back to the table where my parents were deep in conversation with Griffin and Anna; from what I could tell, they were trying to sell the couple on the idea of getting married. Griffin was giving them a blank expression, and I figured his mind was more on what he could do to Anna's body once he got her home. I was immediately grateful that I no longer lived with Anna.
Denny came up to me as I approached the group. Titling his head at Kellan, he asked, "Everything alright? What was that about?"
Looking over at the father and son, I smiled. "Everything's great, really great."
When I looked back to Denny, he was frowning, staring at Gavin like he was trying to place him. I could tell the minute he did. His dark eyes wider, he snapped his head back to me. "Is that man...? Is he...related to Kellan?"
I nodded, biting my lip. "That's his dad, his real dad."
Denny closed his eyes as years of understanding seemed to flood his features. "God...that explains...a lot." Opening his eyes, he bunched his brows, concerned. "Is Kellan...alright?"
I smiled that Denny still cared about Kellan, too. "Yeah, I think he'll be just fine."
Looping my arm through Denny's I looked around at all of the people in my life-Evan and Jenny cuddling together on a chair, Matt and Rachel talking quietly in a corner, Anna and Griffin giggling while my parents mentioned that it was never too late to give abstinence a try. Rita had just walked in and sheepishly waved her hand to me in a polite greeting. Kate was showing Abby a text message she'd gotten from Justin, who'd apparently taken a fancy to Kate when he'd been up here visiting. Kellan's siblings were laughing, playing pool together as their long-lost brother caught up with his dad. And Kellan...was actually laughing as he clinked his beer bottle against his dad's.
"I think we'll all be fine, Denny," I said, smiling up at the first love of my life that had somehow morphed into the best friend of my life.
Smiling down at me, Denny nodded and gave me my favorite goofy grin. "I think you might be right."
When the evening started winding down, people slowly filtering out of the bar for more private conclusions to their nights, Kellan and I slow danced together near the edge of the stage. Poetic Bliss had just wrapped up their set and the vibrant girls were loitering around the stage, chatting with their growing fan base. Kellan and I ignored them all and continued dancing to a non-existent beat.
His arms wrapped around my waist, Kellan smiled as he stared down at me. His dad had left some time ago, but they were meeting for breakfast in the morning. It warmed my heart that Kellan was giving him a chance. Everyone deserved at least one chance.
Tilting his shaggy head, Kellan gave me a crooked smile. "So, graduate...what's next?"
I inhaled deep and smiled. "Anything...everything."
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine. I cherished the warmth and love that I felt in the connection. His hand reached up to curl around my neck, as he deepened the moment between us. I felt the familiar fire start to burn in me, more intense than ever before, strengthened by the trust and commitment we were forging daily.
Separating our lips, Kellan rested his head against mine. "I have to go back soon, to finish the album."
I sighed and stroked his cheek. "I know," I whispered.
"And after that...will be another tour...to promote the album." He lifted the edge of his lip in a sad smile.
I kissed the corner of his mouth, making his smile widen. "It will be okay...we'll find a way to stay close, just like we have the past few weeks."
Kellan nodded, his face subdued as he thought about how often we would be apart from each other. He hated being separated as much as I did, and for the same reasons I did-we missed each other. While Denny might be my best friend, Kellan was my soul mate, and being apart was...painful.
We silently danced together while people moved around our lightly swaying bodies. Over Kellan's shoulder, I watched Evan and Jenny walking out the doors arm in arm, Matt and Rachel close behind them. Anna and Griffin had left not too long after their reunion. What they were doing now, I didn't want to think about. The only couple still here was Denny and Abby. They were laughing at the bar together, looking perfectly content in their own little world.
Sighing, I rested my head against Kellan's chest, thankful that at least I had tonight with him. Kissing my head, he whispered in my hair, "Come with me."
Pulling back, I scrunched my brows. "What? Go with you...where?"
I looked at the front doors, thinking maybe he was ready to go home. Hopefully, by the time we got there, my parents would be asleep. They'd left several hours ago, so the chances were good. The chances were also good that my dad, ever over-protective, was waiting up for me to come home.
Kellan chuckled and shook his head. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he murmured, "So cute..." Peeking up at his amused eyes, I frowned. He smiled even wider. "Come on tour with me. Hell, come to L.A. with me."
Blinking, I shook my head. "But, my... " I paused, realizing that the tether that had kept me in Seattle was suddenly gone. I didn't have to stay here. Sure, I didn't want to abandon my sister here, but if I wanted to take extended visits somewhere...I could.
Seeing me start to realize that, Kellan wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're done with school now. You can do whatever you want."
I frowned. "Shouldn't I have higher aspirations than being a groupie?"
Kellan laughed and shook his head. "You're not a groupie if I invite you to come with us." Ducking down, he met my eye. "When are you ever going to have another chance like this, Kiera? You have the rest of your life to find a job...or never find one. That would be fine with me."
I twisted my lips. "My parents will be so proud."
Kellan shrugged. "Blame it on me. They hate me anyway."
Smiling, I shook my head. "They don't hate you...that much."
Kellan gave me a soft kiss, then sighed. "I don't care what you do, Kiera, I just want you with me." He pulled back. "And besides, don't you want to be a writer? Aren't you writing a book about us, about our life together?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, not realizing that he knew that. I hadn't been hiding it...I just hadn't been ready to show him yet. He grinned and smiled, then shrugged. "Jenny mentioned it...and I'd love to read it, when you're done."
Biting my lip, I wrinkled my nose. Parts of it were painful for me, they'd be especially painful to Kellan. But...open and honest, that was our policy. I nodded. "When it's ready."
Smiling, he dipped me. I laughed as he pulled me back up. "Well, writing is something that can be done anywhere, and to be the best writer you can be, you'll need to do a lot of research." He shrugged. "What better research could you have than traveling across the nation with me... and Griffin?"
I cringed at that, then chuckled. Squeezing me tight, Kellan rested his head against mine again. "You could come back as often as you wanted, Kiera, to visit Anna...your friends, but I'd like us to do this together this time."
Tightening my arms around his neck, I gave him a soft kiss. "Okay, let's do it."
His lips spread into a grin underneath mine, but then he frowned. "There's only one problem, though."
I frowned. "What's that?"
Sighing, he hung his head. "They don't let girlfriends tour on the bus with the band anymore..."
"Oh..." My body sagged as the exciting and scary prospect of life on a tour bus with a bunch of rowdy boys popped. It seemed like a strange rule to me, but, maybe that was another record label thing...to protect their assets, or something. Was I going to have to follow them around in Griffin's Vanagon?
Just as I was wondering why Kellan had suggested a plan that couldn't happen, he started chuckling. Watching his lips twist into an impish grin, I frowned. What was he up to now?
Shrugging, he added, "They only let the wives come with."
I honestly didn't know what Kellan would have done. He didn't seem to know either, and the idea that he may have made the same choice, softened him towards his father some. Kellan nodded at his dad, and exhaling with relief that Kellan somewhat understood, his dad smiled; the smile was just as beautiful as Kellan's.
"I tried to see you once, you know. When you were about Riley's age."
Kellan blinked and stared up at him. "No, Mom never mentioned that you..."
His father lowered his eyes. "Yeah, she told me that you didn't know about me, that you believed John was your father." He looked back up at Kellan. "Was that true?"
Kellan shook his head. "No, I've always known that I was a bastard child."
His father flinched at his harsh description then shook his head. "She convinced me that I'd hurt you, by showing up in your life. That it was better if I stayed away...so I did."
Swallowing the emotion building, Kellan's father shook his head again. "She was manipulating me, because I hurt her. I never should have listened to her. I should have tried harder to see you...I'm so sorry."
Kellan looked away and I watched a tear fall from the corner of his eye as he closed them. "I never knew you even thought about me," Kellan whispered, his voice still trembling.
His dad put his hand on his arm. "Of course I did. What father could forget about his son, his firstborn?" When Kellan looked back at him, the weary man sighed. "I stayed away for the wrong reasons, thinking I was protecting you by letting you believe the lie, even after their deaths." He choked up on the word death and cleared his throat. "But I'm here now, and I'd like to get to know you."
Slapping on a casual smile, the same smile Kellan could wear, practically on cue, he extended his hand to Kellan. "Hello. My name is Gavin Carter, and I'm your father."
Kellan grinned, then shook his head as he dropped my hand to grab his father's. "I'm Kellan Kyle...and I guess I'm your son."
Laughing as they shook hands, Gavin said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Kellan."
Kellan nodded. "Yeah...you too."
I was already holding back the sniffles when Gavin laid his other hand over their clasped ones. "I don't want to push you, but you have a home with us in Pennsylvania, Kellan. Whenever you're ready, you're always welcome there."
I wiped the tears off my cheeks as Kellan sniffed and nodded. Clasping his shoulder, Gavin said, "Can I buy you a beer?"
Kellan looked back at me, but I grinned and nodded. He needed this. He needed them. Even if he liked to think that he was fine on his own, a piece of Kellan had been missing from birth. He'd filled it with music, he'd filled it with sex, and he'd even filled it with me. But what he'd needed, was what he was now being offered-a family.
Kissing his cheek, I left him to begin the bonding process. I was still wiping my eyes as I walked back to the table where my parents were deep in conversation with Griffin and Anna; from what I could tell, they were trying to sell the couple on the idea of getting married. Griffin was giving them a blank expression, and I figured his mind was more on what he could do to Anna's body once he got her home. I was immediately grateful that I no longer lived with Anna.
Denny came up to me as I approached the group. Titling his head at Kellan, he asked, "Everything alright? What was that about?"
Looking over at the father and son, I smiled. "Everything's great, really great."
When I looked back to Denny, he was frowning, staring at Gavin like he was trying to place him. I could tell the minute he did. His dark eyes wider, he snapped his head back to me. "Is that man...? Is he...related to Kellan?"
I nodded, biting my lip. "That's his dad, his real dad."
Denny closed his eyes as years of understanding seemed to flood his features. "God...that explains...a lot." Opening his eyes, he bunched his brows, concerned. "Is Kellan...alright?"
I smiled that Denny still cared about Kellan, too. "Yeah, I think he'll be just fine."
Looping my arm through Denny's I looked around at all of the people in my life-Evan and Jenny cuddling together on a chair, Matt and Rachel talking quietly in a corner, Anna and Griffin giggling while my parents mentioned that it was never too late to give abstinence a try. Rita had just walked in and sheepishly waved her hand to me in a polite greeting. Kate was showing Abby a text message she'd gotten from Justin, who'd apparently taken a fancy to Kate when he'd been up here visiting. Kellan's siblings were laughing, playing pool together as their long-lost brother caught up with his dad. And Kellan...was actually laughing as he clinked his beer bottle against his dad's.
"I think we'll all be fine, Denny," I said, smiling up at the first love of my life that had somehow morphed into the best friend of my life.
Smiling down at me, Denny nodded and gave me my favorite goofy grin. "I think you might be right."
When the evening started winding down, people slowly filtering out of the bar for more private conclusions to their nights, Kellan and I slow danced together near the edge of the stage. Poetic Bliss had just wrapped up their set and the vibrant girls were loitering around the stage, chatting with their growing fan base. Kellan and I ignored them all and continued dancing to a non-existent beat.
His arms wrapped around my waist, Kellan smiled as he stared down at me. His dad had left some time ago, but they were meeting for breakfast in the morning. It warmed my heart that Kellan was giving him a chance. Everyone deserved at least one chance.
Tilting his shaggy head, Kellan gave me a crooked smile. "So, graduate...what's next?"
I inhaled deep and smiled. "Anything...everything."
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine. I cherished the warmth and love that I felt in the connection. His hand reached up to curl around my neck, as he deepened the moment between us. I felt the familiar fire start to burn in me, more intense than ever before, strengthened by the trust and commitment we were forging daily.
Separating our lips, Kellan rested his head against mine. "I have to go back soon, to finish the album."
I sighed and stroked his cheek. "I know," I whispered.
"And after that...will be another tour...to promote the album." He lifted the edge of his lip in a sad smile.
I kissed the corner of his mouth, making his smile widen. "It will be okay...we'll find a way to stay close, just like we have the past few weeks."
Kellan nodded, his face subdued as he thought about how often we would be apart from each other. He hated being separated as much as I did, and for the same reasons I did-we missed each other. While Denny might be my best friend, Kellan was my soul mate, and being apart was...painful.
We silently danced together while people moved around our lightly swaying bodies. Over Kellan's shoulder, I watched Evan and Jenny walking out the doors arm in arm, Matt and Rachel close behind them. Anna and Griffin had left not too long after their reunion. What they were doing now, I didn't want to think about. The only couple still here was Denny and Abby. They were laughing at the bar together, looking perfectly content in their own little world.
Sighing, I rested my head against Kellan's chest, thankful that at least I had tonight with him. Kissing my head, he whispered in my hair, "Come with me."
Pulling back, I scrunched my brows. "What? Go with you...where?"
I looked at the front doors, thinking maybe he was ready to go home. Hopefully, by the time we got there, my parents would be asleep. They'd left several hours ago, so the chances were good. The chances were also good that my dad, ever over-protective, was waiting up for me to come home.
Kellan chuckled and shook his head. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he murmured, "So cute..." Peeking up at his amused eyes, I frowned. He smiled even wider. "Come on tour with me. Hell, come to L.A. with me."
Blinking, I shook my head. "But, my... " I paused, realizing that the tether that had kept me in Seattle was suddenly gone. I didn't have to stay here. Sure, I didn't want to abandon my sister here, but if I wanted to take extended visits somewhere...I could.
Seeing me start to realize that, Kellan wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're done with school now. You can do whatever you want."
I frowned. "Shouldn't I have higher aspirations than being a groupie?"
Kellan laughed and shook his head. "You're not a groupie if I invite you to come with us." Ducking down, he met my eye. "When are you ever going to have another chance like this, Kiera? You have the rest of your life to find a job...or never find one. That would be fine with me."
I twisted my lips. "My parents will be so proud."
Kellan shrugged. "Blame it on me. They hate me anyway."
Smiling, I shook my head. "They don't hate you...that much."
Kellan gave me a soft kiss, then sighed. "I don't care what you do, Kiera, I just want you with me." He pulled back. "And besides, don't you want to be a writer? Aren't you writing a book about us, about our life together?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, not realizing that he knew that. I hadn't been hiding it...I just hadn't been ready to show him yet. He grinned and smiled, then shrugged. "Jenny mentioned it...and I'd love to read it, when you're done."
Biting my lip, I wrinkled my nose. Parts of it were painful for me, they'd be especially painful to Kellan. But...open and honest, that was our policy. I nodded. "When it's ready."
Smiling, he dipped me. I laughed as he pulled me back up. "Well, writing is something that can be done anywhere, and to be the best writer you can be, you'll need to do a lot of research." He shrugged. "What better research could you have than traveling across the nation with me... and Griffin?"
I cringed at that, then chuckled. Squeezing me tight, Kellan rested his head against mine again. "You could come back as often as you wanted, Kiera, to visit Anna...your friends, but I'd like us to do this together this time."
Tightening my arms around his neck, I gave him a soft kiss. "Okay, let's do it."
His lips spread into a grin underneath mine, but then he frowned. "There's only one problem, though."
I frowned. "What's that?"
Sighing, he hung his head. "They don't let girlfriends tour on the bus with the band anymore..."
"Oh..." My body sagged as the exciting and scary prospect of life on a tour bus with a bunch of rowdy boys popped. It seemed like a strange rule to me, but, maybe that was another record label thing...to protect their assets, or something. Was I going to have to follow them around in Griffin's Vanagon?
Just as I was wondering why Kellan had suggested a plan that couldn't happen, he started chuckling. Watching his lips twist into an impish grin, I frowned. What was he up to now?
Shrugging, he added, "They only let the wives come with."
