Its not you, Cassie. Its the drug.
He saw her thoughts, uncensored because she was so weak. He saw that she was ashamed and that she didnt want him to see her this way. She felt like she should have been able to fight Lorsan and keep from drinking the Rapture. She should have been stronger. He saw deep into her soul, the light that still shined there, the hope that was Cassie. The hope gave him strength.
You never have to feel ashamed with me. You cannot comprehend all of the atrocities I have committed in my long life, and they were my choice. This, Cassie, this was beyond your control. It was not your choice, nor your fault. The fault lies with me and me alone.
Cassie was shaking her head as tears fell down her face.
I should have listened to you. I threw a fit like a spoiled child and, oh god, she groaned at the memory. I hit you. She looked up at Trik as horror filled her eyes. Ive never hit anyone in my life and I hit the man I love. What kind of person does that?
The kind whose heart has been broken. I do not blame you, my love. I should have gone after you. I should have made you listen to me. Of all the times for me to not do what I wanted to, I picked a very stupid one.
Cassie shook in his arms as the pain continued. She didnt know how much more she could take. She hurt all over. Breathing felt like work and with every breath she was tempted to just not take the next. She was beginning to sweat again, a cold sweat that chilled her to the bone. As Trik held her, she shivered as her clothes became drenched. Trik pulled back and looked down at her, taking in her appearance. Her lips had a blue tinge to them and she had grown paler.
You need to be in dry clothes, Cassie. He stood up and placed her back on the bed. Before he walked away to find something else for her to wear he took her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. Stay with me. He pushed power into his voice and reached for the bond that had begun so early on in their meeting. Fight, Cassie. Let your soul reach for mine and please hold on.
All she could manage was a single nod. He stared a moment longer and then released her. He was gone and then back in a matter of seconds. He had a towel, a wet cloth , and a large tunic that he laid on the bed.
He took the wet cloth and wiped her forehead and then her neck. She closed her eyes and found some small measure of comfort in his care of her.
Cassie, I need to change your clothes. Can you look at me?
She opened her eyes with great effort and met his stare.
Dont take your eyes from mine, alright? She nodded her agreement.
Trik undressed her quickly. He used the towel to dry as much of her skin as he could and then he slipped the tunic over her head and helped her get her arms into the sleeves. His eyes never left hers and his handsmoved with clinical efficiency. The tunic was much too large for her but that worked out well as it covered her completely.
Why dont you lay back and rest, he told her as he helped her under the blankets. She still shook from the pain that continued to beat at her small body. Finally, mercifully, she passed out.
Trik checked to make sure that she was still breathing and then he sunk down to his knees beside the bed. He took her cold, clammy hand in his and he held it to his lips. He kissed the back of it and then the palm. He leaned his head against her side and closed his eyes.
He was exhausted and for the first time in his long, long memory he was terrified. Not scared, not worried, the feeling went beyond those small emotions. The King of the Elves, the greatest assassin his people had ever known, was utterly and completely terrified. He felt a tear slide down his cheek and he didnt care that maybe it made him weak to cry. He had been holding on by a thin strand, wanting to give Cassie strength. But now, as she lay still before him, her body thin and the luster gone from her young skin, he let go.
He wept. Despair shrouded him and he pulled the familiar darkness around him like a comforting blanket. His shoulders shook, and he didnt attempt to choke back the sobs.
I petitioned you once long ago, he spoke into the quiet room, as he swallowed hard against the pain. I came before you then , weary of the world I lived in, worn out from the constant battle of light and dark, good and evil. I walked away. You told me the consequences of my actions and told me my fate, but you did not tell me this. His jaw tensed as he continued to speak. You did not tell me that I would find her only to lose her. Is this my punishment and, if so, why her? She is an innocent, young with so much life to live, why take that from her to punish me?
Trik felt them before he saw them. The Forest Lords stepped into his cabin and filled the space until it felt barely large enough to stand in.
You are needed by your people. You have a duty to them, and to the human race. You have been given great power , Triktapic. That power brings great responsibility. Even now Light King and his warriors and the humans give of themselves to save many. So too must other sacrifices be made for the greater good.
Not HER! His voice filled the room as he stood from his kneeling position. Her life is not comprisable. I offer mine for hers. I am not so unique that you cant find another worthy to lead. Please, let me take her place. Let her live. Let her find love and happiness and give hope as she so freely does.
You are willing to die right there where you stand to spare her?
There is nothing that I am not willing to do for her. Nothing. Trik waited and held his breath for their decision.
He saw her thoughts, uncensored because she was so weak. He saw that she was ashamed and that she didnt want him to see her this way. She felt like she should have been able to fight Lorsan and keep from drinking the Rapture. She should have been stronger. He saw deep into her soul, the light that still shined there, the hope that was Cassie. The hope gave him strength.
You never have to feel ashamed with me. You cannot comprehend all of the atrocities I have committed in my long life, and they were my choice. This, Cassie, this was beyond your control. It was not your choice, nor your fault. The fault lies with me and me alone.
Cassie was shaking her head as tears fell down her face.
I should have listened to you. I threw a fit like a spoiled child and, oh god, she groaned at the memory. I hit you. She looked up at Trik as horror filled her eyes. Ive never hit anyone in my life and I hit the man I love. What kind of person does that?
The kind whose heart has been broken. I do not blame you, my love. I should have gone after you. I should have made you listen to me. Of all the times for me to not do what I wanted to, I picked a very stupid one.
Cassie shook in his arms as the pain continued. She didnt know how much more she could take. She hurt all over. Breathing felt like work and with every breath she was tempted to just not take the next. She was beginning to sweat again, a cold sweat that chilled her to the bone. As Trik held her, she shivered as her clothes became drenched. Trik pulled back and looked down at her, taking in her appearance. Her lips had a blue tinge to them and she had grown paler.
You need to be in dry clothes, Cassie. He stood up and placed her back on the bed. Before he walked away to find something else for her to wear he took her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. Stay with me. He pushed power into his voice and reached for the bond that had begun so early on in their meeting. Fight, Cassie. Let your soul reach for mine and please hold on.
All she could manage was a single nod. He stared a moment longer and then released her. He was gone and then back in a matter of seconds. He had a towel, a wet cloth , and a large tunic that he laid on the bed.
He took the wet cloth and wiped her forehead and then her neck. She closed her eyes and found some small measure of comfort in his care of her.
Cassie, I need to change your clothes. Can you look at me?
She opened her eyes with great effort and met his stare.
Dont take your eyes from mine, alright? She nodded her agreement.
Trik undressed her quickly. He used the towel to dry as much of her skin as he could and then he slipped the tunic over her head and helped her get her arms into the sleeves. His eyes never left hers and his handsmoved with clinical efficiency. The tunic was much too large for her but that worked out well as it covered her completely.
Why dont you lay back and rest, he told her as he helped her under the blankets. She still shook from the pain that continued to beat at her small body. Finally, mercifully, she passed out.
Trik checked to make sure that she was still breathing and then he sunk down to his knees beside the bed. He took her cold, clammy hand in his and he held it to his lips. He kissed the back of it and then the palm. He leaned his head against her side and closed his eyes.
He was exhausted and for the first time in his long, long memory he was terrified. Not scared, not worried, the feeling went beyond those small emotions. The King of the Elves, the greatest assassin his people had ever known, was utterly and completely terrified. He felt a tear slide down his cheek and he didnt care that maybe it made him weak to cry. He had been holding on by a thin strand, wanting to give Cassie strength. But now, as she lay still before him, her body thin and the luster gone from her young skin, he let go.
He wept. Despair shrouded him and he pulled the familiar darkness around him like a comforting blanket. His shoulders shook, and he didnt attempt to choke back the sobs.
I petitioned you once long ago, he spoke into the quiet room, as he swallowed hard against the pain. I came before you then , weary of the world I lived in, worn out from the constant battle of light and dark, good and evil. I walked away. You told me the consequences of my actions and told me my fate, but you did not tell me this. His jaw tensed as he continued to speak. You did not tell me that I would find her only to lose her. Is this my punishment and, if so, why her? She is an innocent, young with so much life to live, why take that from her to punish me?
Trik felt them before he saw them. The Forest Lords stepped into his cabin and filled the space until it felt barely large enough to stand in.
You are needed by your people. You have a duty to them, and to the human race. You have been given great power , Triktapic. That power brings great responsibility. Even now Light King and his warriors and the humans give of themselves to save many. So too must other sacrifices be made for the greater good.
Not HER! His voice filled the room as he stood from his kneeling position. Her life is not comprisable. I offer mine for hers. I am not so unique that you cant find another worthy to lead. Please, let me take her place. Let her live. Let her find love and happiness and give hope as she so freely does.
You are willing to die right there where you stand to spare her?
There is nothing that I am not willing to do for her. Nothing. Trik waited and held his breath for their decision.
