Elphame's Choice
Chapter Six

"It looks really dark and scary." Caitlin's soft voice echoed against the empty inner walls of the castle.
The women were standing barely a step inside the newly cleared entrance to MacCallan Castle. They'd spent what was left of the morning removing a century's worth of rubble from the space, now it looked like a giant's mouth minus its cleanly pulled front teeth. Lunch had been a quick break that consisted of hard biscuits, cheese and dried meat, wolfed down hastily between weeding and chopping - Elphame could imagine her mother's shudder of disgust at the food and what she would label the barbaric way in which it had been eaten, but she had loved every hurried bite of it.
Now it was time for step two - actually entering the castle and beginning the decidedly more complex work of changing ancient destruction into a well-ordered home.
But first she'd have to rally her troops. Again.
"It's not really dark," she said, taking a few steps inside the protective outer walls. She pointed to the empty doorway that led to the interior of the castle through which could just barely be glimpsed the inner courtyard and the massive stone columns. "It looks dark because everything is still covered with soot from the fire. Not to mention dirt from years of standing open to the elements." She smiled encouragingly at Caitlin. "All it needs is a good scrubbing and some careful attention, and it won't be dark anymore."
Caitlin, as well as the rest of the women, still looked unconvinced. Well, she thought, she may as well face what all of them were thinking - get it out in the open so that they could deal with it.
"And about the curse." Elphame paused. It seemed to her that even the stones had stopped to listen to her next words. "There is no such thing," she said slowly and distinctly. "I have that assurance from the Incarnate of Epona herself, as well as my own intuition." As she spoke, Elphame backed a few more steps until she was standing directly within the inner doorway. She gestured behind her.
"There is still much beauty here. You just have to look for it. Please don't let silly stories told to frighten naughty children taint your trust in your new home." Or in me. She added the plea silently. She didn't want her people to skulk around MacCallan, jumping at shadows and being chased by imagined demons.
"I have never been afraid of bedtime stories, my Lady."
Elphame recognized the woman's voice even before she stepped from her habitual place in the shadows at the rear of the group. Brenna had stopped bowing her head and hiding behind a wall of hair - they'd all been too busy that day to care overly much about appearances. But El had noticed that Brenna kept to herself, and that she rarely was included in the easy banter that had already begun to link the rest of the women. Now her sharp gaze held Elphame's eyes.
"But I have found that sometimes fantasies and imaginings can be more powerful than reality. Because of that, it is wise to dispel the ghosts of unreality before they overwhelm that which is truth."
Elphame liked the quiet, confident way Brenna spoke.
"What is it you suggest, Brenna?"
"A simple cleansing ceremony, one that will clear any negative energy as well as protect and welcome us as the castle's new inhabitants," Brenna said.
The other women were watching Brenna with expressions of mixed curiosity and relief.
"Tell us what you need," Elphame said.
"The ceremony is simple. All we need to complete it is basil and containers with which to hold fresh water."
"It is possible that I might still find basil that has gone wild in the castle's herb garden," Wynne, said.
"Herbs are resilient. Chances are good that you will find basil, if you can find the cook's garden," Brenna told her.
"I can find a cook's garden in any castle." Wynne put a flint edge to her melodic brogue.
"And there should be something left in there that can hold water," Meara added. "It is a place that was once filled with people, and where there are people, there must be housekeeping tools."
"Good ideas, Wynne and Meara. Half of you go with our cook to find the basil, the other half of you search with Meara for crocks or buckets or anything at all that can hold water," Elphame said briskly.
"Then bring your finds back here and we will begin the ceremony."
Elphame really hadn't expected them to react so readily, but the women quickly divided into two groups and, like domestic warriors, they descended upon the ancient castle. Yes, they were talking and laughing in overly loud voices, as if to scare away anything that might be lurking in the shadows, but they had actually entered the castle itself, without cringing or crying or shrieking in fear. Elphame remembered how earlier that morning the men and centaurs had refused to follow Danann within the castle walls. Now those same walls rang with the sounds of busy women. It was certainly a step in the right direction.
"Fear can usually be overcome through common sense and tasks that are familiar and simple," Brenna said softly. She hadn't left with the women. She and Elphame were alone near the entrance to the castle.
El smiled at her. "It was wise of you to think of the cleansing ceremony. All I could think of was how silly it is to be afraid of a place that holds so much hope for the future. I wanted to yell at them and try to force them to see that the stories aren't true. Your way was better."
"Not better, my Lady, just easier for them to understand," Brenna said humbly, but she bowed her head slightly in acknowledgment of Elphame's compliment.
"Are you a shaman?" Elphame asked curiously.
Brenna smiled her crooked smile. "It flatters me that you would think so. No, I cannot heal the spirit, as a shaman can, but I do acknowledge that in order to treat the flesh I must have some knowledge of the spirit realm."
Elphame felt her smile widen. "You sound like my father - only he says the opposite. He cannot heal the body, but he must have a working knowledge of it to heal problems of the spirit."
"Midhir is a great shaman. I have only met him once, but that one time he showed me kindness that I will never forget."
"I didn't know..." Elphame clamped her mouth shut. She almost said that she didn't know her father had treated anyone who was so severely scarred. How insensitive of her! She coughed and cleared her throat to cover her awkwardness."... Didn't know that you knew my father."
"I do not really know him, my Lady. As I said, I have only met him once."
Elphame nodded, still chagrined at herself, and said hurriedly, "Where are you from, Brenna?"
"Guardian Castle was my home," Brenna said.
"I'm glad you chose to join us, but I hope Guardian Castle won't feel the lack of their Healer too keenly."
Brenna looked away from Elphame, but not before she saw the pain that flashed through her mismatched eyes.
"It was time for me to leave. It was time for a new beginning," Brenna said quietly.
"I think I understand," Elphame said.
Brenna's eyes snapped back to her, and she opened her mouth to reply that Elphame, with her perfect, beautiful face, could not begin to understand. But the words would not come, and not because the Healer was afraid of this powerful woman. Slowly her gaze traveled down Elphame's body. She was dressed much like the rest of the women, in a plain, serviceable linen dress that wrapped across her chest and was held in place over each shoulder by simple brooches. The dress left her arms bare and free for working, and from the bodice it wrapped in soft, intricate folds - much like the kilts the men wore - to end, as was customary in Partholon, just above her knees. There Brenna's eyes stopped. Elphame was dressed like the rest of the women, but that was where the similarity ended. Instead of slim knees and shapely, feminine calves and ankles tapering down to leather-soled shoes, Elphame had powerful equine legs and hocks that were covered with a slick, lustrous coat of hair the same deep auburn shade as on her head. The incredible legs ended in hooves that glinted like polished ebony. She was not a human, but she was most definitely not a centaur, either. She was something set apart from the rest of Partholon.
Brenna's eyes lifted to meet Elphame's again.
"Yes, I think you might very well understand," she said slowly.
The two unique women smiled tentatively at one another.
The women returned much more quickly than Elphame had anticipated. Meara's group had found two usable containers. One was a chipped crock that had been half buried in filth, and the other was a blackened bucket that had somehow escaped being consumed by the fire.
"It's obvious neither have bathed for years," Meara said with distaste. "They need a good scrubbing."
Then she added under her breath, "As does this entire castle."
Elphame stifled her grin. Meara was definitely the right choice to lead a formidable force of house-tidiers, and it was better that she was grumbling about the job ahead of her than running in fear from an imagined curse.
"There is a stream not far from here that runs from the forest to the cliff and empties into the ocean." One of the women spoke up.
"It's Arlene, isn't it?" Elphame asked.
The young woman nodded shyly. "Aye, uh, my Lady. I was raised in Loth Tor and I know this area well." Her voice was rich with western Partholon's thick brogue.
"Wonderful. You can show Meara the stream. Meara, take as many women with you as you need to give those a good scrubbing."
With a satisfied grunt, Meara motioned for several women to join her, and they trudged away, Arlene leading the little group.
"And I found plenty of basil." Wynne opened her skirts and several wide-leafed basil plants tumbled to the ground, filling the air with their distinctive aroma that brought to mind delicious red sauces and long, enjoyable meals.
Elphame inhaled deeply and noticed several of the other women did the same. She smiled at them and thought it must be nearing dinnertime if all of them were thinking of food.
"I also found the kitchens. They are in quite a shambles." The cook frowned down at the basil as if the herbs were responsible for the disarray.
Elphame's heart sank. "Can they be repaired, or must they be completely rebuilt?" She had hoped that the kitchens could be put back into working order in a relatively short amount of time.
"It willna be easy, but I believe they can be repaired. The foundation is strong, and much of it survived the fire."
For no explainable reason, Wynne's words brought tears to Elphame's eyes. She blinked rapidly, not wanting the women to misunderstand her emotional response. When she was sure of her voice, she said,
"I think we will find that over and over again in our new home - the foundation is strong, and much of it has survived."
The women made little sounds of agreement, and Elphame felt her eyes well up again.
"El! Are you ready for those men yet?" Cuchulainn's voice boomed from behind them, causing the women to jump.
For once Elphame was glad of her brother's distraction, and she wiped quickly at her eyes.
Cu was too busy showing off his white smile to notice his sister's sudden display of emotions.
He winked at Wynne, who was hastily trying to brush the crushed basil and dirt from her skirts. "When I told the men what lovely ladies they would be assisting, I had many willing volunteers."
"Yes, yes, yes Cuchulainn, we get the idea." Elphame frowned at him. At least he was consistently incorrigible. "We're almost ready for them. But first we have to perform the cleansing ceremony."
"Cleansing ceremony?"
Elphame gave her brother a smug look. Now that she mentioned magic, she had his undivided attention.
"That's right. Our new Healer thought a ceremony of ritual cleansing and protection would be a wise idea before we begin working on the interior of the castle. I agree with her."
It was Cuchulainn's turn to frown.
"It's just a simple cleansing ceremony, Cu. No one's going to cast any spells or summon any spirit guides." El winked at him and he grunted an unintelligible response. "Let me introduce you to our Healer..." She trailed off. A moment before Brenna had been standing beside her, but now her place was empty. El's eyes quickly searched the group of women and she caught sight of Brenna's brunette hair. Once again, she had melted silently to the rear of the group.
Elphame wanted to groan in frustration. If she was going to be their Healer, she was going to have to stop hiding every time a man came near. What did Brenna think, that her brother was going to shrink from her, or scream in horror? Then El remembered the look in the young woman's eyes when she had said that she needed a new beginning. Perhaps that was the exact response she did expect, especially from a handsome young man. Well, Brenna didn't know Cuchulainn as his sister knew him. He might be an incorrigible flirt, but he was a good man with a kind heart. He would never purposely hurt a woman.
"Brenna," she called. "I'd like you to meet my brother."
Slowly, the Healer moved from the rear of the group. Her head was bowed again, and she did not lift it until she was standing beside Elphame. Then, with a sigh, she looked up. Elphame was watching her brother, and she saw his expression go flat at his first glimpse of the young woman's horrendous scares, but he didn't cringe and he didn't look away.
"Cuchulainn, this is our new Healer, Brenna."
"Well met, Lady Brenna," Cu said, bowing his head courteously.
"I thought the two of you should be introduced. I already told Brenna how accident prone you are,"
Elphame said, smiling warmly at Brenna, who seemed to be totally engrossed in studying her feet.
"I would be pleased to give aid wherever it is needed," Brenna said. Her voice was barely above a whisper, and Elphame had to strain to hear her.
"As I said before, it was Brenna's idea to perform a cleansing ceremony." Elphame's eyes swept through the little group of women, including them in her words. "And we thought it an excellent idea."
The women spoke bright, chattering agreement with Elphame, but she noticed that her brother was still looking intently at Brenna.
"Are you a shaman, Brenna?" Cuchulainn asked abruptly.
Reluctantly, Brenna pulled her eyes up and looked directly at the handsome young warrior. "No, Cuchulainn, I am not," she said with the same whispering voice. "But I do have some knowledge of the Spirit World, and I am familiar with the rituals which evoke its blessing."
"Good. I think it wise that we call upon the spirit realm to aid my sister in restoring MacCallan Castle,"
he said intently.
Elphame blinked in surprise. What was he saying? Cu hated any mention of the spirit realm - it always made him uncomfortable. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Cu, are you feeling well?"
Before he could answer, Meara and her group of women burst through the entrance. Their arms and skirts were soaked, but they were carrying two freshly cleaned containers that sparkled with water.
When they saw Cuchulainn, they stopped and dropped into hasty curtseys, giggling as water sloshed onto the ground.
Cu grinned at the women. "How could I not be well, surrounded by such lovely faces?"
Now he sounded like himself. Elphame shook her head at him and told him to hush, but she made a mental note to ask him later about his sudden desire for spiritual backup.
"You can leave now, Cu." She shooed him off before turning to the Healer. "Brenna, what do we need to do?"
"Take the basil and crush it into the water." As she explained the ceremony, her voice grew from the halting, whispering tone in which she had spoken to Cuchulainn to the clear, confident voice of the Healer Elphame was already beginning to respect. "Each woman should be a part of this. Each of you take some of the basil leaves and smooth them into the water, and as you do so, concentrate on all of the wonderful things you would like your new home to hold."
Brenna beckoned to Meara, who was standing closest to the containers. A little nervously, the housekeeper picked up a sprig of basil, then she bent and immersed it into the cool, fresh water crushing the lime-colored leaves and gently swirling the water.
"Good," Brenna encouraged.
"It's soft and cool, and it smells wonderful," Meara told the rest of the women. Without further hesitation, Wynne, Ada and Colleen grabbed pieces of the little plants, and soon the bucket and the crock were surrounded by smiling women up to their elbows in green-tinged water.
"Close your eyes," Brenna told them, "think about your dreams for your new home - your hopes and desires for your future - think of what you wish for...what you long for."
As one, they closed their eyes and Elphame watched the women's faces grow faraway. Satisfied smiles tilted their lips.
"We must join them, my Lady," Brenna said.
Elphame nodded and she and the Healer each chose a sprig of basil. Elphame approached the crock, which was already well crowded with concentrating women. She squeezed in between Meara and Caitlin. No one gasped or shrank away from being in such close proximity with her. The women were so engrossed in their own thoughts that no one even seemed to noticed her. It was nice, she thought, really nice to feel just like everyone else - even if it was only for a short time. Elphame closed her eyes and thrust her hand into the water, crushing the basil against her palm.
And all at once she could hear the silent desires of the women surrounding her. It was like the water was a conduit for their thoughts and dreams, and all of them emptied into her. Elphame held her breath, savoring each desire as it flooded through her.
Please bring my home happiness ___ Let me know the joy of a good husband ___ More than anything I want children ___
Please let me never be hungry ___ I want to always be safe ___
I want to be accepted for who I am ___
Their pleas washed through Elphame in a rush of emotions and she held them close to her heart and cherished them. Then she added her own desire, and almost without even being aware of it, Elphame's thoughts shifted from her constant plea to fit in and be normal. For the first time the desire that was foremost in her heart was not one that focused solely on herself.
Please let all who enter MacCallan Castle find it a safe haven and help me to be a wise and understanding leader.
"Now the rest of the ceremony must be completed by you, Goddess," Brenna said. Her confident voice rippled through the group of women, breaking the spell of thoughts that Elphame had been absorbing.
They opened their eyes, blinking as if to reorient themselves after awaking from pleasant dreams, then they stood, wiping green-speckled hands on their skirts and looking expectantly at Elphame.
She felt a horrible shiver of trepidation. She had assumed Brenna would lead them in the ceremony, as she had in the preparations. El had never performed any type of ritualistic magic. Even during her education at the Temple of the Muse she had avoided the training that involved spellwork and the invocation of any deities. She knew that the other students had gossiped amongst themselves about her strange avoidance and that they all had assumed it was because she was so powerful that she need not have mortal guidance when she communed with the spirit realm. The people expected that she would follow her mother as Epona's Chosen -  that she, as her mother and great-grandmother before her, would reign as the spiritual leader of Partholon. Just the thought made Elphame feel ill because, unfortunately, the truth was far from what they believed. Though she had longed for it, she had never felt any stirrings of magic - not from spirits, nor from the gods, and especially not from Epona. It would avail her nothing to study magic. She had no magic beyond that of her physical abnormalities.
Until she entered MacCallan Castle and the spirits of the stones had welcomed her, she corrected herself. Things were different here. MacCallan Castle was a new beginning for all of them. That did not mean that she would be forced to take up her mother's mantle; it meant that she had finally found where she belonged. Pushing aside insecurities that had haunted her for years, she met Brenna's eyes.
"What must I do?" Elphame asked.
"We will need to carry the containers to the entrance of the castle," Brenna said, and the task was quickly done. She positioned the containers within the newly cleared gap in the wide walls, and told Elphame to stand between them, facing outward. The other women were to stand just outside the entrance. "Now, you must call on each of the four elements in their turn - air, fire, water and earth. Ask them to cleanse this castle and fill it with protection as you scatter the herb-scented water to each of the four corresponding directions. There are no set words for you to recite, instead speak from your heart.
We will follow your lead, Goddess." Thus saying, Brenna turned her back to Elphame and motioned for the rest of the women to do so, too. All of them were facing the east.
East...Elphame thought frantically. East was the beginning direction for all spellwork and for all circle casting. Its element was air - she knew that much, as did any half-grown Partholonian child. And east was the direction the castle faced. She drew in her breath with the realization. It must be a good omen.
She closed her eyes, settled her thoughts, and sent up a heartfelt prayer to a real Goddess. Epona, if you can hear me, I don't ask that you speak to me as you do to my mother -  I don't expect that. 1
just ask that you help me not to disappoint these women, and help me to honor the spirits I have just today begun to feel. Please give me the right words for the blessing and protection of our new home.
She could do this, she promised herself as she opened her eyes and bent to cup the first handful of herb-filled water.
Looking out to the east she raised her hands in front of her and let the fragrant, grass-colored water slide from her fingers.
"I call upon you, Power of Air, to witness this rite. You are the element we encounter upon birth as we draw our first breaths. I ask that you fill MacCallan Castle as it is reborn and scatter any negative forces from it. Breathe within its walls protection and peace."
Suddenly a breeze ruffled Elphame's long hair. It twisted playfully around her, catching the falling drops of water and making them appear to dance on the wind, clearly showing Elphame that her words had been heard and accepted. Elphame's answering smile was filled with stunned joy.
After the wind died she took a deep breath and turned to her right so that she was facing south - the direction of the element fire. The group of women followed her, turning to face south, too. She cupped another handful of water and held it out before her.
"I call upon you, Power of Fire, to witness this rite. It is from you that we draw warmth, light and energy.
Your strength has already purified MacCallan Castle. I ask that you continue to guard it and us as we make it our new home."
As she spoke, she felt the sun's rays flash on her and it seemed that the magically enhanced warmth of it reached into her very soul.
Elphame and the women turned to the right again. She filled her hands with water.
"I call upon you, Power of Water, to witness this rite. You are present in our bodies as tears, milk and blood. You fill us and sustain us. Wash MacCallan Castle of the ancient pain of the past. Cleanse it and guard it with the joy of the present as it stands, ever watchful, above your shore."
The sound of the distant waves breaking against the cliff suddenly swelled and echoed with deafening intensity throughout the castle walls.
When the sound receded Elphame turned again, facing to the north and the element earth, completing the circle.
"I call upon you, Power of Earth, to witness this rite. You stabilize and shelter us. We feel your spirit in
the very stones of this castle. I ask that you use your vast power to reject any lingering negative energy, and that you protect MacCallan Castle with the strength of new growth coupled with ancient wisdom."
The grass on which they stood rustled like a giant hand had just passed over it and the air surrounding them was filled with the rich fragrance of a bountiful harvest.
Then, acting on impulse, Elphame bent one more time. She cupped her hands and as she tossed the water high into the air directly above her, she said in a clear, joyful voice, "And I call upon you, Epona, to witness this rite and to gift MacCallan Castle, our new home, with your blessing and your protection."
The droplets of water exploded around Elphame like liquid stars and the women erupted into cheers.
"Come!" Brenna cried, hurrying to one of the containers of basil water. She dipped her hands and smiled her lopsided smile at the women. "Let us baptize our new home." So saying, she splashed the handful of water so that it rained against the ancient stones. Soon all the women were laughing and shrieking with joy as handfuls of softly scented water playfully washed away the last of their fears.
Hidden within the little grove of trees closest to the castle's entrance, Cuchulainn watched the women.
The cleansing ritual had been powerful - that was easy to see. He could hardly believe that it was his sister who had spoken the words and invoked such an obvious, elemental response. But he had to believe it; he had borne witness to it. And the power within him - the power that he constantly had to repress in order to control -  had leaped in response to her magical rite which had clearly been infused with the blessing of Epona. He had felt the cleansing, as well as the invisible walls of protection that Elphame had suddenly erected in a magical circle which encompassed MacCallan Castle.
He had thought briefly that perhaps he was feeling the psychic residue of Epona's anger at the Fomorian invaders. Over a century ago the war had begun with the slaughter of the MacCallan Clan, an act that had so inflamed Epona that the Goddess's Chosen had rallied the people of Partholon. Centaurs and humans had joined together to defeat the demonic horde. Was that why Epona had touched his sister's ritual? To show the Goddess's approval of rebuilding MacCallan Castle? Was it as simple as that?
No. He knew that there had been more - something else had been present during his sister's ritual. And try as he would, he could not understand what it was. It was elusive, but he knew what it reminded him of. It was much like the Feeling he had experienced during his vision of Elphame's lifemate. It was dark.
It was waiting. And it was here.
Cuchulainn was here, too, and he would protect his sister from harm. Even if that harm should come from one whose destiny it was to love her.
His hand rested on his claymore and his face was grim as he turned from the women and the castle. Ever vigilant, his warrior's eyes searched the forest that surrounded them, seeking the source of that which he feared would break his sister's heart.