Empty Net
Page 115

 Toni Aleo

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Ignoring Lucas, Tate nodded, “See that’s what I thought too, but I think I might want my own child.”
“Then break up with her, don’t let it go any further,” Erik said with a shrug of his shoulders. “She is great, you know I like her a lot, but if you are second guessing it now, what’s going to happen 10 years from now when you have 2 little Chinese kids who aren’t yours, and you want your own?”
“Hey, ass**le, that’s my sister-in-law,” Lucas sneered, “And if you knew this before you started with Audrey, then it isn’t fair to hold that against her. She told you her issues, and you accepted them.”
“I know,” Tate said, feeling like Lucas was attacking him, which in a way he had every right to. “I love her, Lucas, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her, but I cannot shake this feeling that one day I’ll want my own child.”
“That’s not fair,” Lucas said with a shake of his head.
“It would be a deal breaker for me.” Everyone turned to Shea and his eyes were intently on Tate. “I knew that I wanted kids when I started this thing with Elli. She wanted them too, and we were good. Now if after we started trying and she couldn’t have a child, that I would understand and would cope with but if she told me right out that she couldn’t, I would let her go.”
“I know, but I don’t want to let her go. She makes me happy; she makes my life worth living, guys. She is my everything. My heart is invested in her, and I don’t want anyone else.”
Tate could tell that no one knew what to say, until Lucas said, “If you are totally devoted to her then you would take the good with the bad. Audrey is a fantastic, sweet person. She will love you with everything inside her, and she deserves a guy who will love her just the same. If you don’t think you can, then cut her loose, dude, don’t hurt her anymore by making her think this is for real.”
Lucas held Tate’s gaze for a long time, then Lucas shook his head, stood up and threw money on the table before walking away.
“Shit,” Tate muttered as he got up, and followed Lucas out of the restaurant. “Lucas, just a minute.”
Lucas looked back and waited for him at the doorway. When Tate reached him, they both walked out to the parking lot before Tate said, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Lucas shook his head, “I don’t want Audrey to get hurt again, and I thought you were the guy to make sure that never happened, but now you say this?”
“I am just second guessing things, Lucas, I don’t want to hurt her. I love her.”
“You keep saying that, but when you love someone you love all of them. Even the f**ked up parts! Hell, look at me and Fallon! She was a walking train wreck before she finally got her head out of her ass. And now look at us, we are so f**king happy.”
“I understand that, and I know that I won’t be happy without her,” Tate said, his chest hurting. He didn’t want to leave Audrey. He didn’t want to live life without her, but how was that fair for him to feel like this and not say anything? That was the whole point of having friends, so that he could talk about things that bothered him.
“Have you told her?” Lucas asked.
“No, I got this feeling this morning. I haven’t even thought it through. I just wanted to get everyone’s input and then I was going to talk to her about it if it is still bothering me. I’m not going to hurt her, Lucas.”
“No one can make your mind up for you, Tate. You gotta do it. Is she worth it? Can you trade in one thing to have everything else? Because Audrey will love you for the rest of her life. She is very loyal, and you know that it true.”
“I do.”
Lucas shrugged his shoulders, “Then I have nothing else to say. This is all on you.”
Tate watched as Lucas walked off, and didn’t move until little flakes of snow started to fall. Walking to his truck, he had the familiar feeling of his heart beating in overtime. His palms were sweaty, and even in the cold, he was starting to sweat along his back. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but it wasn’t working. He thought with his mind busy with his issues of him and Audrey, his anxiety would be the last thing he needed to worry about.
He was wrong.
After reaching for the handle four times, he finally pulled the door open, and climbed into his truck. He sat there for a long time, not only because he was scared to put the key in the ignition but also because he was thinking about his whole day. He had spent the morning with Audrey, wrapped up in her warmth, their legs tangled and their bodies touching in the most delectable places. She had made him breakfast and then he had to go. He had never been as sure about someone in his life as he made his way to the arena. He knew that he was going to be with Audrey forever. He even planned on telling her he loved her that night, but then Elli walked in carrying a dream that he realized he couldn’t have.
It didn’t make sense though, he had seen Elli with Audrey, and he never felt like this. So what were these feelings? What the hell was going on? Like Phillip had said, he could adopt, he had even told Audrey that, and it wasn’t as if he was against it. He just wanted to be with Audrey, for forever.
“Man, I am an idiot,” he muttered shaking his head.
Why did he even say anything to the guys? He knew his answer; he knew what he wanted so why was he second guessing himself? He never did this. He was always confident about his decisions, and his decision was to be with Audrey.