The thing really threatening to make me lose my mind, with frustration, was that most of the household furniture was still out on the deck or upstairs. On the second morning of walking past the bare floors and glancing at the fireplace, I put in a call to Faith for help. She agreed to pre-purchase two of the three chandeliers she had asked for.
While stuffing my face with the chocolate pudding Mrs. Weaton had kindly brought over, I called the flooring company and asked them to reimburse some of the balance to the credit card used and take my money instead. They finally agreed and had an opening within days to come out and finish. I would still owe Jack for a large part of it, and would be working flat out to repay Faith, but for now, I could get my house back together.
I was functioning enough that I felt working and keeping busy were the only things that would help me heal without having to do too much thinking. Perhaps the healing could continue in the background while I went about my life. Hopefully, one day I could turn my full attention to the subject of Jack Eversea and feel only a slight annoyance. Perhaps a bit sad and maybe also a little chagrined that I fell for a pretty face; hook, line, and sinker, but the raw pain would no longer be there.
The following Thursday night, the grill was heaving with locals. I was busy and had perfected a happy mask on my face to all but the closest observers. Hector, of course, was ridiculously and uncharacteristically quiet. I had given him the stark news Jack was with his girlfriend and would no longer be in Butler Cove just as I had with Mrs. Weaton. I could tell he wanted to press me for details but wisely kept silent. Instead, he grabbed me in a swift, tight hug, and then set me away from him and work continued on as normal.
Jazz had managed to find a reason for her or the group to get together at each of my evening shifts. Tonight she was sitting with Liz, Cooper, Vern, and Jasper at a round table in the perfect spot to keep an eye on me.
I headed that way to offer drink refills. It was nearly closing time.
“You look like shit,” Jazz said to my brittle smile. “And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Please let’s talk about this tonight after work. You need some sleep, missy. I‘m not above stealing a Xanax from my mom.”
“Jazz. Please. I’ve said everything I want to say.” I swallowed. “And I don’t need to be drugged.” Although, a night of oblivion and deep sleep, rather than the fitful and tormented slumber I’d been attempting, sounded like heaven. “I’ll get over it.”
“Oh, my God, are you serious?” Liz’s voice broke through our tête-à-tête.
“For real.” Vern’s voice was dramatically conspiratorial. “He and his girlfriend are staying at the Mansion on Forsyth.”
The historic mansion, turned high-end hotel, was one of the nicest places in Savannah. A nagging dread unfurled in my belly as I predicted the next words out of Liz’s mouth.
“Jazz, did you hear that? Jack Eversea and Audrey Lane are staying in Savannah. Oh my God! We should totally go and have drinks there, it would be so cool to see them in real life.”
I could see Jazz struggling to act surprised and excited so as not arouse suspicion. At the same time, she gripped my hand as tight as she could. As for me, the blood had left my head again, and I swayed into the chair next to Cooper.
“Hey, girl, what’s up? You okay?” Cooper asked in that soft way of his. His brow furrowed.
“Tired,” I managed. I needed to collect myself and get up. For days everyone was told I was recovering from a stomach virus, but I couldn’t pull that off forever. They would think I had E. coli soon.
Vern was informing everyone he was a host at Casimir’s Lounge at the Mansion. He had been cagey about his new job for weeks, but now he was coming clean. He said he could totally hook us up if we all wanted a night on the town. I shot a look at Jazz and shook my head.
“What the heck is wrong with you two?” Jasper said, watching our weird exchange. “A fun night out in Savannah sounds awesome. When was the last time we all did that? Beats sitting around drinking PBR every night.” He took a swig of his beer and shifted an eye back to the animated Liz who was loudly wondering if the tabloids had been lying about Jack and Audrey breaking up. Every word was a needle sliding into my skin.
Of course Jasper would want an excuse to get us all out on the town. He wasn’t going to ask Liz out on a date outright, but an excuse to go out somewhere fancy in a group with her was probably a dream come true for him.
“Nothing’s wrong, Jasper,” Jazz said. “Keri Ann has to work tomorrow night so there’s no way she can go. And I have a ton of studying for midterms.”
Jasper’s face fell, although he still held a cocked eyebrow at the obvious undercurrent.
If I hadn’t felt like I was under a lead weight, I would have laughed at him.
“Wait, so Vern.” Liz was looking at him with wonder. “Why were you so embarrassed to tell us about your job at the lounge, that’s awesome. How cool.”
Vern ducked his chin sheepishly. “Well, it’s a little exotic ... and I ... well, I dress and ... act exotic there, too,” he finished quietly.
Cooper nudged him in the ribs. “Dude, we know you wear eye-makeup and shit. It’s cool. Whatever.”
“Seriously?” Jasper eyed him over his beer, like he was noticing Vern for the first time. We all were.
“It’s a job,” Vern defended. “And actually, I like it.” He shrugged and cocked his chin up.
Jazz rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Vern. I always thought you were too pretty to be a boy anyway.” Vern did, indeed, have doll-like and fragile features that didn’t always add up.
We all chuckled as he threw a straw, followed by a wadded-up napkin at her.
“I’m not a cross-dresser,” he huffed. “I just dress up for work. Think—emo rock star—without the band, of course.”
“We need to get you a band, Vern,” I said firmly, and everyone nodded. And maybe a boyfriend, but I didn’t voice that out loud. If he wasn’t ready to talk about it, we would all wait patiently.
I was thankful for Jazz’s intervention in heading off the group outing to Savannah. I wanted everyone else to go though. They would have fun, and the chances of meeting Jack Eversea were slim to none anyway.
Using that logic, a part of me wanted to say screw it, why shouldn’t I go out and have fun with my friends, especially if I wouldn’t run into Jack? But I knew that the mere proximity and inkling of a chance of bumping into him and Audrey was too much of a risk for my fragile psyche right now.
“Oh guys, pleeeeease,” begged Liz, her hands clasped together in prayer, her big eyes pleading with us one by one. “Please? I never get to go out. My mom would be totally cool with watching Brady tomorrow night. Please? Please? Pretty please.”
Jasper cleared his throat. “Um, I’m up for it, Liz, I’ll—”
“Yes! That’s one. Come on, Jazz and Keri Ann, please?”
“Sorry. No can do guys.” I shook my head and stood up to head back to work, leaving Jazz to make up her own mind. I hoped Jasper would have the courage to follow through anyway. If it had been any other time, I would have rallied to help him out, but no, not this time. I felt bad, but I couldn’t do it.
I turned around and bumped straight into the broad chest of my brother.
While stuffing my face with the chocolate pudding Mrs. Weaton had kindly brought over, I called the flooring company and asked them to reimburse some of the balance to the credit card used and take my money instead. They finally agreed and had an opening within days to come out and finish. I would still owe Jack for a large part of it, and would be working flat out to repay Faith, but for now, I could get my house back together.
I was functioning enough that I felt working and keeping busy were the only things that would help me heal without having to do too much thinking. Perhaps the healing could continue in the background while I went about my life. Hopefully, one day I could turn my full attention to the subject of Jack Eversea and feel only a slight annoyance. Perhaps a bit sad and maybe also a little chagrined that I fell for a pretty face; hook, line, and sinker, but the raw pain would no longer be there.
The following Thursday night, the grill was heaving with locals. I was busy and had perfected a happy mask on my face to all but the closest observers. Hector, of course, was ridiculously and uncharacteristically quiet. I had given him the stark news Jack was with his girlfriend and would no longer be in Butler Cove just as I had with Mrs. Weaton. I could tell he wanted to press me for details but wisely kept silent. Instead, he grabbed me in a swift, tight hug, and then set me away from him and work continued on as normal.
Jazz had managed to find a reason for her or the group to get together at each of my evening shifts. Tonight she was sitting with Liz, Cooper, Vern, and Jasper at a round table in the perfect spot to keep an eye on me.
I headed that way to offer drink refills. It was nearly closing time.
“You look like shit,” Jazz said to my brittle smile. “And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Please let’s talk about this tonight after work. You need some sleep, missy. I‘m not above stealing a Xanax from my mom.”
“Jazz. Please. I’ve said everything I want to say.” I swallowed. “And I don’t need to be drugged.” Although, a night of oblivion and deep sleep, rather than the fitful and tormented slumber I’d been attempting, sounded like heaven. “I’ll get over it.”
“Oh, my God, are you serious?” Liz’s voice broke through our tête-à-tête.
“For real.” Vern’s voice was dramatically conspiratorial. “He and his girlfriend are staying at the Mansion on Forsyth.”
The historic mansion, turned high-end hotel, was one of the nicest places in Savannah. A nagging dread unfurled in my belly as I predicted the next words out of Liz’s mouth.
“Jazz, did you hear that? Jack Eversea and Audrey Lane are staying in Savannah. Oh my God! We should totally go and have drinks there, it would be so cool to see them in real life.”
I could see Jazz struggling to act surprised and excited so as not arouse suspicion. At the same time, she gripped my hand as tight as she could. As for me, the blood had left my head again, and I swayed into the chair next to Cooper.
“Hey, girl, what’s up? You okay?” Cooper asked in that soft way of his. His brow furrowed.
“Tired,” I managed. I needed to collect myself and get up. For days everyone was told I was recovering from a stomach virus, but I couldn’t pull that off forever. They would think I had E. coli soon.
Vern was informing everyone he was a host at Casimir’s Lounge at the Mansion. He had been cagey about his new job for weeks, but now he was coming clean. He said he could totally hook us up if we all wanted a night on the town. I shot a look at Jazz and shook my head.
“What the heck is wrong with you two?” Jasper said, watching our weird exchange. “A fun night out in Savannah sounds awesome. When was the last time we all did that? Beats sitting around drinking PBR every night.” He took a swig of his beer and shifted an eye back to the animated Liz who was loudly wondering if the tabloids had been lying about Jack and Audrey breaking up. Every word was a needle sliding into my skin.
Of course Jasper would want an excuse to get us all out on the town. He wasn’t going to ask Liz out on a date outright, but an excuse to go out somewhere fancy in a group with her was probably a dream come true for him.
“Nothing’s wrong, Jasper,” Jazz said. “Keri Ann has to work tomorrow night so there’s no way she can go. And I have a ton of studying for midterms.”
Jasper’s face fell, although he still held a cocked eyebrow at the obvious undercurrent.
If I hadn’t felt like I was under a lead weight, I would have laughed at him.
“Wait, so Vern.” Liz was looking at him with wonder. “Why were you so embarrassed to tell us about your job at the lounge, that’s awesome. How cool.”
Vern ducked his chin sheepishly. “Well, it’s a little exotic ... and I ... well, I dress and ... act exotic there, too,” he finished quietly.
Cooper nudged him in the ribs. “Dude, we know you wear eye-makeup and shit. It’s cool. Whatever.”
“Seriously?” Jasper eyed him over his beer, like he was noticing Vern for the first time. We all were.
“It’s a job,” Vern defended. “And actually, I like it.” He shrugged and cocked his chin up.
Jazz rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Vern. I always thought you were too pretty to be a boy anyway.” Vern did, indeed, have doll-like and fragile features that didn’t always add up.
We all chuckled as he threw a straw, followed by a wadded-up napkin at her.
“I’m not a cross-dresser,” he huffed. “I just dress up for work. Think—emo rock star—without the band, of course.”
“We need to get you a band, Vern,” I said firmly, and everyone nodded. And maybe a boyfriend, but I didn’t voice that out loud. If he wasn’t ready to talk about it, we would all wait patiently.
I was thankful for Jazz’s intervention in heading off the group outing to Savannah. I wanted everyone else to go though. They would have fun, and the chances of meeting Jack Eversea were slim to none anyway.
Using that logic, a part of me wanted to say screw it, why shouldn’t I go out and have fun with my friends, especially if I wouldn’t run into Jack? But I knew that the mere proximity and inkling of a chance of bumping into him and Audrey was too much of a risk for my fragile psyche right now.
“Oh guys, pleeeeease,” begged Liz, her hands clasped together in prayer, her big eyes pleading with us one by one. “Please? I never get to go out. My mom would be totally cool with watching Brady tomorrow night. Please? Please? Pretty please.”
Jasper cleared his throat. “Um, I’m up for it, Liz, I’ll—”
“Yes! That’s one. Come on, Jazz and Keri Ann, please?”
“Sorry. No can do guys.” I shook my head and stood up to head back to work, leaving Jazz to make up her own mind. I hoped Jasper would have the courage to follow through anyway. If it had been any other time, I would have rallied to help him out, but no, not this time. I felt bad, but I couldn’t do it.
I turned around and bumped straight into the broad chest of my brother.
