Fallen Crest Family
Page 65
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My heart went flat. I couldn't say what I wanted to say, not to her. She wouldn't listen. She would defend. She would attack. She'd never listen so I sighed in surrender. "I want you to agree that you'll stay away from me."
"If?"
"What?"
She leaned forward. Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and I saw the rage in there again. It was contained now, for the moment. I wondered when it would come out again. Then she sighed from irritation. "You came to me. You want me to stay away from you. I'm guessing there's something that'll come after that. You want me to stay away from you if…if what? If you come back? If you move in with David? What's the if? What do you want, darling child of mine?"
"For one, never refer to me as that again. It'll be like we're not related. Do you understand?"
"Crystal."
I winced. A knife slipped inside of me with that one word, with the chilling tone of her voice. I tried to ignore the pain. I was the one who needed to act like we weren't family. I needed to forget her, forget that she had ever been my mother.
"Is that it?"
I could hear the rolling of her eyes. I gritted my teeth against it. "I think James is a good man."
"He is."
Her dark silhouette straightened in the chair. There was pride in her voice now.
I added, "Mason and Logan will not move back in with their father unless I come too. You know that and James knows that. And you know that James wants them here."
She murmured, softly, "He loves them very much."
My teeth gritted together. She didn't get to act like she cared. "Stop. Just stop. They're not your boys. They're not your family. You are lucky to have their father love you, but they will never accept you." I drew in a shuddering breath. "They'll tolerate you, if I ask them to. Or they'll make your life hell, and after Mason heard his mom, he wants to. He's waiting for the chance to make you pay. I know the only reason he hasn't is because he's been worried about me." I leaned forward and placed my elbows on the table. It was cold against my skin. Goosebumps slithered up and down my arms. "So I have a proposition for you."
I waited as she sat there. I waited for her reaction.
"What?" She lifted her shoulders, her tone snippy.
Anger exploded in me. I wanted to reach across the table and grab her. I wanted to slam her head down, and I wanted to keep doing it until she cared. But she never would. So I sat there, and I counted to ten for patience.
When I felt something resembling it, I waited another ten, and then started, "I will move back in if you agree that there is no relationship between us. We will live in the same home, but that's it. I'm no longer your daughter. You're no longer my mother. You have no say with me, whatsoever." I tried to ignore the pounding in my chest. "When I spend time with David, you will say nothing. You will do nothing."
Her mouth tightened.
I didn't care. "When and if I go to Boston to see Garrett, you will say nothing. You will do nothing. It's as if I'm not even your child. I will only be your future stepson's girlfriend, who lives here. That's it. And you won't say a word about this to James. If you do," a layer of tears rested over my eyes. They were ready to fall, but I kept going in a hoarse whisper, "if you say a word, I will allow Mason and Logan free reign on you. They can do anything to you that they want."
As she paled, a sick darkness started in me. It grew as I continued, "They won't just hurt you. They'll take him away from you."
Her eyes closed. Her arms started to tremble so she wrapped the ends of her nightgown around her. She seemed so tiny in that moment.
Again, I didn't care. I murmured, "You know what I'm saying is true. You have manipulated everyone in your life, and you have hurt everyone in your life. There's a trail of damage behind you, to me, to David, to Garrett, to whoever impregnated you." A wall of ice was forming around my heart. "You are manipulating James. You should leave him because you're hurting him."
"I'm not," she whispered.
"He lost his sons over you. Because of you, he threw them out."
Her hand jerked up and she flicked a tear away. "I didn't mean for him to lose them. I didn't, Sam. I just wanted respect—"
"You wanted control," I hissed as my hands curled around the edge of the table. I clung to it, holding myself back. I had to keep it together until I could leave. Then I would collapse, but until then, I fought for my own control. "You wanted Mason away from me because someone else would love me."
"No," she whimpered. Her head fell down.
I nodded, to myself. A deep sob hitched in my voice, "Someone else would be there for me, and I would leave you. That's what all of this was about. Wasn't it?"
I waited. She didn't answer.
"Wasn't it?" My voice rose.
She shook her head, but she whispered, "It all went so fast. I couldn't control it. It spiraled out, and I couldn't stop it." More tears fell, and she sobbed. "I couldn't handle it. What they did to me, what I saw them doing to you. They were taking you away from me. They were making me look like the bad guy, and then David and Garrett were there. They both wanted you in their lives, I couldn't handle it. I can't lose my only daughter—"
I almost stood, but clamped down on the chair. I willed myself to remain there. I needed to hear her submission.
She kept going, broken before me. "You're mine, Samantha!" Her eyes snapped open.
I saw her madness in them, but it didn't scare me anymore.
She spat out, "No one can take you away from me. No one can touch you—"
"I'm already gone."
She stopped as she gasped for breath.
"I'm gone. I don't care about you. You've killed every last inch of love I might've had for you. You tried to make things right before, but you couldn't even do that. You called Garrett and told him about me. You were trying to be a good mother to me. But you couldn't handle it, could you?"
"You're my baby. No one can have you." Her lip wobbled as more tears streamed down. "It was wrong to call Garrett. He shouldn't have ever known about you. And David…" She sighed and looked away. "He only stayed with me because of you. He left me once, did you know that?"
"If?"
"What?"
She leaned forward. Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and I saw the rage in there again. It was contained now, for the moment. I wondered when it would come out again. Then she sighed from irritation. "You came to me. You want me to stay away from you. I'm guessing there's something that'll come after that. You want me to stay away from you if…if what? If you come back? If you move in with David? What's the if? What do you want, darling child of mine?"
"For one, never refer to me as that again. It'll be like we're not related. Do you understand?"
"Crystal."
I winced. A knife slipped inside of me with that one word, with the chilling tone of her voice. I tried to ignore the pain. I was the one who needed to act like we weren't family. I needed to forget her, forget that she had ever been my mother.
"Is that it?"
I could hear the rolling of her eyes. I gritted my teeth against it. "I think James is a good man."
"He is."
Her dark silhouette straightened in the chair. There was pride in her voice now.
I added, "Mason and Logan will not move back in with their father unless I come too. You know that and James knows that. And you know that James wants them here."
She murmured, softly, "He loves them very much."
My teeth gritted together. She didn't get to act like she cared. "Stop. Just stop. They're not your boys. They're not your family. You are lucky to have their father love you, but they will never accept you." I drew in a shuddering breath. "They'll tolerate you, if I ask them to. Or they'll make your life hell, and after Mason heard his mom, he wants to. He's waiting for the chance to make you pay. I know the only reason he hasn't is because he's been worried about me." I leaned forward and placed my elbows on the table. It was cold against my skin. Goosebumps slithered up and down my arms. "So I have a proposition for you."
I waited as she sat there. I waited for her reaction.
"What?" She lifted her shoulders, her tone snippy.
Anger exploded in me. I wanted to reach across the table and grab her. I wanted to slam her head down, and I wanted to keep doing it until she cared. But she never would. So I sat there, and I counted to ten for patience.
When I felt something resembling it, I waited another ten, and then started, "I will move back in if you agree that there is no relationship between us. We will live in the same home, but that's it. I'm no longer your daughter. You're no longer my mother. You have no say with me, whatsoever." I tried to ignore the pounding in my chest. "When I spend time with David, you will say nothing. You will do nothing."
Her mouth tightened.
I didn't care. "When and if I go to Boston to see Garrett, you will say nothing. You will do nothing. It's as if I'm not even your child. I will only be your future stepson's girlfriend, who lives here. That's it. And you won't say a word about this to James. If you do," a layer of tears rested over my eyes. They were ready to fall, but I kept going in a hoarse whisper, "if you say a word, I will allow Mason and Logan free reign on you. They can do anything to you that they want."
As she paled, a sick darkness started in me. It grew as I continued, "They won't just hurt you. They'll take him away from you."
Her eyes closed. Her arms started to tremble so she wrapped the ends of her nightgown around her. She seemed so tiny in that moment.
Again, I didn't care. I murmured, "You know what I'm saying is true. You have manipulated everyone in your life, and you have hurt everyone in your life. There's a trail of damage behind you, to me, to David, to Garrett, to whoever impregnated you." A wall of ice was forming around my heart. "You are manipulating James. You should leave him because you're hurting him."
"I'm not," she whispered.
"He lost his sons over you. Because of you, he threw them out."
Her hand jerked up and she flicked a tear away. "I didn't mean for him to lose them. I didn't, Sam. I just wanted respect—"
"You wanted control," I hissed as my hands curled around the edge of the table. I clung to it, holding myself back. I had to keep it together until I could leave. Then I would collapse, but until then, I fought for my own control. "You wanted Mason away from me because someone else would love me."
"No," she whimpered. Her head fell down.
I nodded, to myself. A deep sob hitched in my voice, "Someone else would be there for me, and I would leave you. That's what all of this was about. Wasn't it?"
I waited. She didn't answer.
"Wasn't it?" My voice rose.
She shook her head, but she whispered, "It all went so fast. I couldn't control it. It spiraled out, and I couldn't stop it." More tears fell, and she sobbed. "I couldn't handle it. What they did to me, what I saw them doing to you. They were taking you away from me. They were making me look like the bad guy, and then David and Garrett were there. They both wanted you in their lives, I couldn't handle it. I can't lose my only daughter—"
I almost stood, but clamped down on the chair. I willed myself to remain there. I needed to hear her submission.
She kept going, broken before me. "You're mine, Samantha!" Her eyes snapped open.
I saw her madness in them, but it didn't scare me anymore.
She spat out, "No one can take you away from me. No one can touch you—"
"I'm already gone."
She stopped as she gasped for breath.
"I'm gone. I don't care about you. You've killed every last inch of love I might've had for you. You tried to make things right before, but you couldn't even do that. You called Garrett and told him about me. You were trying to be a good mother to me. But you couldn't handle it, could you?"
"You're my baby. No one can have you." Her lip wobbled as more tears streamed down. "It was wrong to call Garrett. He shouldn't have ever known about you. And David…" She sighed and looked away. "He only stayed with me because of you. He left me once, did you know that?"
