“Malinda.” I frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“I knew Mason and Logan were probably already at the church to take pictures, and I wasn’t sure if you needed a ride or not.”
I felt faint as I answered. “I was going to ride with Nate and Taylor.”
“That’s right. I forgot Logan’s girlfriend came back. I didn’t realize Nate was going, but of course he’d go. Where you guys go, he goes, too.”
There was a small bead of perspiration over her top lip, and she looked flushed.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Huh?” Her eyes darted around, and her lip trembled. She had to blink a few times before she could focus on me. “Oh. Yeah. I’m fine.” She patted my arm. “You have nothing to worry about with me, honey. Let’s focus on you this morning. Now.” She stepped back and scanned me up and down, frowning. “Have you lost weight, Samantha?”
I had, but I’d stopped running as much. I smoothed a hand down my tank top and pajama pants. They were soft, baggy, and heavenly. “I was running a lot earlier this summer.” I made sure to hold her gaze as I answered. “I’m fine now.” I wanted her to know I was telling the truth. She didn’t have to worry about me.
Her hand ran down my arm, resting on my wrist. “I know you are.” She pulled me in for a hug. “You are one of the strongest people I know,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
I hid a grin. “You brought some dresses for me?”
“Oh, yes!” She snapped back to attention, and her eyes lit up. “Your mother’s colors are teal and aqua. Such a pretty palette, and so rarely used if I do say so. Sooo…” She pulled out one of the dresses. “I brought you a teal dress, and I brought you an aqua dress. Your mother called me earlier in the week. She wanted to relay that if you wanted to wear white, you could. Mother and daughter kind of thing, you know. So I brought a white one, too. But you don’t have to; not if you don’t want to.”
My mouth dried.
Analise wanted me to match her? It was a wedding. No one else would be wearing white. It’d only be her and me.
Seeing my indecision, Malinda reached inside her purse. She pulled out a small box. “She also said you could wear this, if you wanted. She has a matching one, and people will know you’re not wearing white to disrespect her.” She held out a sparkling teal-colored pendant with a dandelion on it. “I don’t want to push you, but I also want to give you the option. It’s completely up to you, Sam.”
I took the pendant and held it up. “She has a matching one?”
“She does.” Malinda reached for the necklace around her own neck. She pulled it out, and I saw it was identical to mine, but larger. “She wanted me to wear it, too. It was a gift since I helped her plan the wedding. And again, I’ll take mine off if you don’t wear yours. I’m with you, whatever you decide.”
I…
I had no thought. No reaction.
Then I frowned. Suddenly, I wanted to wear it, but I didn’t know why. “Let me see the dress again.” I asked hoarsely.
“Oh!” She held it up by the hanger.
It was a simple dress, but it was beautiful. It had small straps that would circle around my arms and attach underneath them. There was a side pocket, and the dress fell to the floor. I shouldn’t wear it, but I wanted to.
As if sensing my torn feelings, Malinda said softly, “Would you like to put it on?”
I nodded, and when I did, even I was taken aback by how I looked.
Malinda stepped behind me, resting her chin on one of my shoulders. She smiled, and I saw tears in her eyes. “Amazing. Absolutely amazing.”
I couldn’t speak, not for a moment. Emotion choked my throat, but I didn’t want to identify what kind of emotions they were. I swallowed them down.
“If I wear this, then what?” I asked. “Is this a peace offering to her? Am I saying she can be in my life again?”
“No, sweetheart.” She moved my hair to my other shoulder, still smiling almost sadly at me. “It just means you accepted her gift. That’s all, and she knows it. The rest is when you decide to go to her. She knows that. She’s waiting, for whenever you want.”
My eyes fell on that necklace. Malinda had placed it on the bed, and I could see it in the mirror.
I missed my mom.
That was what these emotions were.
I missed her, but I was so goddamn angry at her.
I closed my eyes, feeling the tears there. I didn’t want to cry for her.
Malinda kissed my bare shoulder, and whispered, “What are you feeling, honey? What are you thinking?”
Analise had two other women standing up as her bridesmaids. I’d noticed them last night, but I hadn’t asked who they were. I couldn’t keep the words in today. “Who are those women? The ones standing up for her today.”
“They were patients with her at the treatment facility. They helped her through some rough times, and I guess she did the same for them.”
“So she has friends? From that place, I mean.”
Malinda nodded, holding my gaze in the mirror. “She does. Yes.”
That was good.
My mom had friends.
I looked back down to my hands and murmured, “She never did before.” And if she did, she’d lost them because she flirted with their husbands, or worse.
“They seem like real friends. Good friends.”
“That’s good.” I looked down again. I didn’t want to keep looking at that dandelion.
“Samantha? What’s going on? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I shook my head. Malinda meant well. Maybe letting myself feel these emotions was smart, but I didn’t want to. Not now. There was a mountain of repressed shit, and all of it was beginning to swirl inside of me.
I cleared my throat, pushing the tears aside. “I’ll be fine. Give me a moment and I’ll be ready.”
“I booked a hairstylist. If you come over, you and Taylor could both get your hair done.”
“Really?”
She nodded and kissed my shoulder again. “I’ll be in the living room. The wedding isn’t till this afternoon. You have plenty of time to decide on the dress, so look at the others, too. They’re just as gorgeous.” She went to the door. “The stylist will be at my house in ten minutes. You and Taylor head over about fifteen after that. She doesn’t take long to do my hair.”
She slipped through the door, but I called out, “Malinda?”
“Yeah?” She leaned back in.
“Thank you.”
I wasn’t sure what I was thanking her for, but I knew there was a lot.
“Of course, honey. I love you; you know that.”
I nodded. It’d been a long journey, but I didn’t fight those words. I embraced them. I clung to them even, the way a real daughter would.
MASON
“You ready for this?”
Logan sidled up next to me at the front of the church. The pastor had come out, so the music was going to change soon. My dad was to my left, and Logan to my right. All eyes had been on us, but now people began shifting in their seats. Analise was about to come down the aisle.
I grunted. “I just want to get this fucking over with.”
He chuckled, folding his hands in front of him. “I hate tuxes. I hate weddings. Only good thing about weddings is the booze.” He winked. “And having Taylor here. Have I told you lately how much I love my girlfriend?”
“You’re becoming annoying.”
“Good.” He snorted. “It’s payback for all of your and Sam’s lovey-dovey shit.”
“Lovey-dovey shit?” We weren’t known for our public displays of affection.
He shrugged. “You know what I mean. All the sexing you guys do. I remember when we moved into Nate’s parents’ house. We heard moaning and groaning at all hours of the day.” He leaned closer and hissed in a whisper, “Sickening, I tell you. Sickening.”
“Didn’t stop you from hitting on her every chance you could.”
He paused. “She’s my stepsister. That’s gross, Mason. It’s called joking.”
“I knew Mason and Logan were probably already at the church to take pictures, and I wasn’t sure if you needed a ride or not.”
I felt faint as I answered. “I was going to ride with Nate and Taylor.”
“That’s right. I forgot Logan’s girlfriend came back. I didn’t realize Nate was going, but of course he’d go. Where you guys go, he goes, too.”
There was a small bead of perspiration over her top lip, and she looked flushed.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Huh?” Her eyes darted around, and her lip trembled. She had to blink a few times before she could focus on me. “Oh. Yeah. I’m fine.” She patted my arm. “You have nothing to worry about with me, honey. Let’s focus on you this morning. Now.” She stepped back and scanned me up and down, frowning. “Have you lost weight, Samantha?”
I had, but I’d stopped running as much. I smoothed a hand down my tank top and pajama pants. They were soft, baggy, and heavenly. “I was running a lot earlier this summer.” I made sure to hold her gaze as I answered. “I’m fine now.” I wanted her to know I was telling the truth. She didn’t have to worry about me.
Her hand ran down my arm, resting on my wrist. “I know you are.” She pulled me in for a hug. “You are one of the strongest people I know,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
I hid a grin. “You brought some dresses for me?”
“Oh, yes!” She snapped back to attention, and her eyes lit up. “Your mother’s colors are teal and aqua. Such a pretty palette, and so rarely used if I do say so. Sooo…” She pulled out one of the dresses. “I brought you a teal dress, and I brought you an aqua dress. Your mother called me earlier in the week. She wanted to relay that if you wanted to wear white, you could. Mother and daughter kind of thing, you know. So I brought a white one, too. But you don’t have to; not if you don’t want to.”
My mouth dried.
Analise wanted me to match her? It was a wedding. No one else would be wearing white. It’d only be her and me.
Seeing my indecision, Malinda reached inside her purse. She pulled out a small box. “She also said you could wear this, if you wanted. She has a matching one, and people will know you’re not wearing white to disrespect her.” She held out a sparkling teal-colored pendant with a dandelion on it. “I don’t want to push you, but I also want to give you the option. It’s completely up to you, Sam.”
I took the pendant and held it up. “She has a matching one?”
“She does.” Malinda reached for the necklace around her own neck. She pulled it out, and I saw it was identical to mine, but larger. “She wanted me to wear it, too. It was a gift since I helped her plan the wedding. And again, I’ll take mine off if you don’t wear yours. I’m with you, whatever you decide.”
I…
I had no thought. No reaction.
Then I frowned. Suddenly, I wanted to wear it, but I didn’t know why. “Let me see the dress again.” I asked hoarsely.
“Oh!” She held it up by the hanger.
It was a simple dress, but it was beautiful. It had small straps that would circle around my arms and attach underneath them. There was a side pocket, and the dress fell to the floor. I shouldn’t wear it, but I wanted to.
As if sensing my torn feelings, Malinda said softly, “Would you like to put it on?”
I nodded, and when I did, even I was taken aback by how I looked.
Malinda stepped behind me, resting her chin on one of my shoulders. She smiled, and I saw tears in her eyes. “Amazing. Absolutely amazing.”
I couldn’t speak, not for a moment. Emotion choked my throat, but I didn’t want to identify what kind of emotions they were. I swallowed them down.
“If I wear this, then what?” I asked. “Is this a peace offering to her? Am I saying she can be in my life again?”
“No, sweetheart.” She moved my hair to my other shoulder, still smiling almost sadly at me. “It just means you accepted her gift. That’s all, and she knows it. The rest is when you decide to go to her. She knows that. She’s waiting, for whenever you want.”
My eyes fell on that necklace. Malinda had placed it on the bed, and I could see it in the mirror.
I missed my mom.
That was what these emotions were.
I missed her, but I was so goddamn angry at her.
I closed my eyes, feeling the tears there. I didn’t want to cry for her.
Malinda kissed my bare shoulder, and whispered, “What are you feeling, honey? What are you thinking?”
Analise had two other women standing up as her bridesmaids. I’d noticed them last night, but I hadn’t asked who they were. I couldn’t keep the words in today. “Who are those women? The ones standing up for her today.”
“They were patients with her at the treatment facility. They helped her through some rough times, and I guess she did the same for them.”
“So she has friends? From that place, I mean.”
Malinda nodded, holding my gaze in the mirror. “She does. Yes.”
That was good.
My mom had friends.
I looked back down to my hands and murmured, “She never did before.” And if she did, she’d lost them because she flirted with their husbands, or worse.
“They seem like real friends. Good friends.”
“That’s good.” I looked down again. I didn’t want to keep looking at that dandelion.
“Samantha? What’s going on? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I shook my head. Malinda meant well. Maybe letting myself feel these emotions was smart, but I didn’t want to. Not now. There was a mountain of repressed shit, and all of it was beginning to swirl inside of me.
I cleared my throat, pushing the tears aside. “I’ll be fine. Give me a moment and I’ll be ready.”
“I booked a hairstylist. If you come over, you and Taylor could both get your hair done.”
“Really?”
She nodded and kissed my shoulder again. “I’ll be in the living room. The wedding isn’t till this afternoon. You have plenty of time to decide on the dress, so look at the others, too. They’re just as gorgeous.” She went to the door. “The stylist will be at my house in ten minutes. You and Taylor head over about fifteen after that. She doesn’t take long to do my hair.”
She slipped through the door, but I called out, “Malinda?”
“Yeah?” She leaned back in.
“Thank you.”
I wasn’t sure what I was thanking her for, but I knew there was a lot.
“Of course, honey. I love you; you know that.”
I nodded. It’d been a long journey, but I didn’t fight those words. I embraced them. I clung to them even, the way a real daughter would.
MASON
“You ready for this?”
Logan sidled up next to me at the front of the church. The pastor had come out, so the music was going to change soon. My dad was to my left, and Logan to my right. All eyes had been on us, but now people began shifting in their seats. Analise was about to come down the aisle.
I grunted. “I just want to get this fucking over with.”
He chuckled, folding his hands in front of him. “I hate tuxes. I hate weddings. Only good thing about weddings is the booze.” He winked. “And having Taylor here. Have I told you lately how much I love my girlfriend?”
“You’re becoming annoying.”
“Good.” He snorted. “It’s payback for all of your and Sam’s lovey-dovey shit.”
“Lovey-dovey shit?” We weren’t known for our public displays of affection.
He shrugged. “You know what I mean. All the sexing you guys do. I remember when we moved into Nate’s parents’ house. We heard moaning and groaning at all hours of the day.” He leaned closer and hissed in a whisper, “Sickening, I tell you. Sickening.”
“Didn’t stop you from hitting on her every chance you could.”
He paused. “She’s my stepsister. That’s gross, Mason. It’s called joking.”
