Falling for Jillian
Page 65
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“He’s right down the road there.”
“I don’t know if we can make it work. He said some pretty horrible things.”
“Oh, please. Jill, people say mean things, especially when they’re scared and worried and have the shock of a lifetime. He apologized, and is trying to prove to you that he loves you, respects you, and wants to work it out. What more do you want?”
“I want a guarantee that he’ll never hurt me again.”
“Well, you won’t get that. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that he will. Because he’s a human being.” She sets the book aside and takes my hand in hers. “But he’s a good man, and he loves you like crazy.”
“I’m still thinking.”
“You’re still a stubborn ass,” Cara replies with a smile. “But it’s cool. I think you’re the bee’s knees.”
“You spend too much time around children,” I reply dryly just as Josh comes through the front door. “Is Zack gone?”
“Yeah, he just pulled out. You have about an hour before he’ll be back.”
“Want me to go with you?” Cara asks with a frown.
“Nah, I’m fine. I’m just getting my stuff out of his place.” I take my mug to the kitchen, rinse it out, and hug Cara close. “Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t give up on him,” she replies. “Keep an open mind.”
I nod and have to hold my breath to keep it together when Josh pulls me in for a big hug too. He’s the same height and build as Zack, and being nestled in his arms is way too much like being held by the man I love.
I pull away and wave as I climb into my car and drive down to Zack’s place. I park and when I reach the front door, Seth opens it wide.
“Dad’s not here,” he says, motioning for me to come in, “but you can wait for him if you want.”
“No, it’s okay, sweetie. I just wanted to grab a few things that I left here on my way home from my visit with Cara.”
Seth’s face falls and his shoulders sag. “Oh. Okay.”
I pat his shoulder and climb the stairs quickly, trying my best to keep my tunnel vision in place. Do not look at the family room where you had the best Christmas of your life. Do not look at his bed. Grab your clothes and stuff them in your bag. Do not think about how he made love to you in that shower. Grab your shampoo and your blow dryer. Do not look at the bed! Okay, down the stairs and you’re almost home free.
“Jill, can I ask you a question?” Seth asks as I come to the bottom of the stairs.
“Of course, buddy.”
He frowns and seems uncertain, shoves his hands in his pockets, and looks so much like his dad right now, it almost breaks me.
“What is it, Seth?”
“You’re not going to forgive him, are you?”
And cue the tears. I bite my lip, but can’t stop the tears that come as I stare at this sweet boy. “I don’t know.”
“He won’t tell me what happened.” This surprises me. I didn’t expect Zack to give Seth a blow-by-blow, but I thought for sure he’d have told him about the baby. “But I know he’s sorry. We worked really hard last week to show you how sorry.”
“You were both very nice to me last week,” I assure him and, unable to hold back any longer, I pull Seth into my arms and hug him tightly. “I loved having you at my house after school and you’re welcome to come by anytime you want. You don’t even have to shovel or anything.”
He wraps his arms around my middle and holds on with all of his strength. “I love you, Jill. You’re the best mom I’ve ever had.”
Oh dear sweet Jesus, how am I going to live through this?
“Seth, no matter what happens between me and your dad, I’m always going to be your friend. No matter what you need, you can count on me, do you hear me? No matter what.”
He nods and sniffs and we stand like this for a long minute, crying and comforting each other.
As he pulls out of my arms, he glances outside and frowns. “What is she doing here?”
“Who?” I turn and follow his gaze and then feel my entire body burst into the flames of a thousand fires with the fury that races through my veins. “Stay here,” I instruct Seth and step out on the porch and march down the steps to the driveway below.
“Well, Jillian Sullivan,” Kensie sneers and approaches me. She looks . . . old. She’s my age, but she looks at least ten years older. Tired. Her hair and nails are done perfectly, and her clothes are two sizes too small.
She looks cheap.
“What do you want, Kensie?”
“I want to see Seth. I haven’t seen him in months.”
“You’re not going to see him today either.”
“Oh?” She tilts her head to the side and narrows her eyes. “Who’s going to stop me?”
“I am.” I brace my hands on my hips and face her square on. She’s a good five inches taller than me, and outweighs me by about twenty-five pounds, but I can take her easily if I need to.
“But I miss him so much.” Tears miraculously form in her eyes and her lower lip wobbles, and I know it’s a big, fat act.
“Wow, you’re good at that.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She sniffs delicately and wipes an imaginary tear from her cheek. “It’s been months and months since I’ve hugged my little pumpkin.”
“I don’t know if we can make it work. He said some pretty horrible things.”
“Oh, please. Jill, people say mean things, especially when they’re scared and worried and have the shock of a lifetime. He apologized, and is trying to prove to you that he loves you, respects you, and wants to work it out. What more do you want?”
“I want a guarantee that he’ll never hurt me again.”
“Well, you won’t get that. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that he will. Because he’s a human being.” She sets the book aside and takes my hand in hers. “But he’s a good man, and he loves you like crazy.”
“I’m still thinking.”
“You’re still a stubborn ass,” Cara replies with a smile. “But it’s cool. I think you’re the bee’s knees.”
“You spend too much time around children,” I reply dryly just as Josh comes through the front door. “Is Zack gone?”
“Yeah, he just pulled out. You have about an hour before he’ll be back.”
“Want me to go with you?” Cara asks with a frown.
“Nah, I’m fine. I’m just getting my stuff out of his place.” I take my mug to the kitchen, rinse it out, and hug Cara close. “Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t give up on him,” she replies. “Keep an open mind.”
I nod and have to hold my breath to keep it together when Josh pulls me in for a big hug too. He’s the same height and build as Zack, and being nestled in his arms is way too much like being held by the man I love.
I pull away and wave as I climb into my car and drive down to Zack’s place. I park and when I reach the front door, Seth opens it wide.
“Dad’s not here,” he says, motioning for me to come in, “but you can wait for him if you want.”
“No, it’s okay, sweetie. I just wanted to grab a few things that I left here on my way home from my visit with Cara.”
Seth’s face falls and his shoulders sag. “Oh. Okay.”
I pat his shoulder and climb the stairs quickly, trying my best to keep my tunnel vision in place. Do not look at the family room where you had the best Christmas of your life. Do not look at his bed. Grab your clothes and stuff them in your bag. Do not think about how he made love to you in that shower. Grab your shampoo and your blow dryer. Do not look at the bed! Okay, down the stairs and you’re almost home free.
“Jill, can I ask you a question?” Seth asks as I come to the bottom of the stairs.
“Of course, buddy.”
He frowns and seems uncertain, shoves his hands in his pockets, and looks so much like his dad right now, it almost breaks me.
“What is it, Seth?”
“You’re not going to forgive him, are you?”
And cue the tears. I bite my lip, but can’t stop the tears that come as I stare at this sweet boy. “I don’t know.”
“He won’t tell me what happened.” This surprises me. I didn’t expect Zack to give Seth a blow-by-blow, but I thought for sure he’d have told him about the baby. “But I know he’s sorry. We worked really hard last week to show you how sorry.”
“You were both very nice to me last week,” I assure him and, unable to hold back any longer, I pull Seth into my arms and hug him tightly. “I loved having you at my house after school and you’re welcome to come by anytime you want. You don’t even have to shovel or anything.”
He wraps his arms around my middle and holds on with all of his strength. “I love you, Jill. You’re the best mom I’ve ever had.”
Oh dear sweet Jesus, how am I going to live through this?
“Seth, no matter what happens between me and your dad, I’m always going to be your friend. No matter what you need, you can count on me, do you hear me? No matter what.”
He nods and sniffs and we stand like this for a long minute, crying and comforting each other.
As he pulls out of my arms, he glances outside and frowns. “What is she doing here?”
“Who?” I turn and follow his gaze and then feel my entire body burst into the flames of a thousand fires with the fury that races through my veins. “Stay here,” I instruct Seth and step out on the porch and march down the steps to the driveway below.
“Well, Jillian Sullivan,” Kensie sneers and approaches me. She looks . . . old. She’s my age, but she looks at least ten years older. Tired. Her hair and nails are done perfectly, and her clothes are two sizes too small.
She looks cheap.
“What do you want, Kensie?”
“I want to see Seth. I haven’t seen him in months.”
“You’re not going to see him today either.”
“Oh?” She tilts her head to the side and narrows her eyes. “Who’s going to stop me?”
“I am.” I brace my hands on my hips and face her square on. She’s a good five inches taller than me, and outweighs me by about twenty-five pounds, but I can take her easily if I need to.
“But I miss him so much.” Tears miraculously form in her eyes and her lower lip wobbles, and I know it’s a big, fat act.
“Wow, you’re good at that.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She sniffs delicately and wipes an imaginary tear from her cheek. “It’s been months and months since I’ve hugged my little pumpkin.”
